The Nanny Chronicles

Another one bites the dust...

It wasn't bad enough that our boy Ben lost his freakin mind and started banging the Nanny, but now reports have surfaced that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale's marriage may have been doomed over the suspision that Rossdale cheated with....THE NANNY. 

WTF? 

What gives? Do all these successful men have mommy issues? Or do all men have issues? Mom's hire nannies-especially working moms-so that they can contribute to the family financially, and socially so that they can have a life that is not centered around the kids. Moms need to feel good about themselves, and a good mom takes care of family first but then takes care of herself. When mama's happy, everybody is happy and a working mom needs both family and career to work cohesively to achieve domestic harmony. 

The nanny is key to the cohesiveness of those two worlds. But in today's crazy, sexed up, messed up world, do moms now need to worry about what goes on at home-with the nanny and her spouse-while she is working? So it would seem that any woman in her right mind would hire only Mrs. Doubtfire doppelgangers. Knowing what we now know, what are the options? 

Look, my kids are out of the nest and their "nanny" is still at my home 2 days a week taking care of household business. She has been with my family for 10 years and she's 28. AND did I mention that she looks like a Brazillian J LO? Am I worried? I wouldn't be human if I didn't let sinister thoughts creep into my head. Top that off with the fact that I was once married to a serial cheater and got my world rocked by the shit that he did. But I decided a long time ago that in order for me to live happily and not be completely devastated by a man and his extracirrucular activities, I have to love me more. Simple, I love me more and in the best case scenario he loves me more too. 

I don't know if simply loving yourself more is the answer, but it's a start. 

That and finding the agency that only employs women nanny's over the age of 75. 

Shawshanked!

I, like so many others are fascinated by the recent prison break in upstate New York.
Quick recap: 2 inmates serving life sentences escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate, New York. "Little Siberia", as the facility is dubbed, is a well known prison that hardened criminals go to serve out their sentences. The inmates hatched an elaborate plan that looks like it came right out of the script to a movie: The Shawshank Redemption.

The lengths by which these two inmates went to plan and secretly execute their escape has prison officials and New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo baffled.

"The complexity of the escape has astonished prison experts and Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who toured the inmates' escape route.

"It was really unbelievable," Cuomo said. "If it was a movie plot, you would say that it was overdone."

He said the inmates cut through a cell wall that included steel a quarter-inch thick, maneuvered across a catwalk, shimmied down six stories to a tunnel of pipes, followed that tunnel, broke through a double-brick wall, cut into a 24-inch steam pipe, shimmied their way through the steam pipe, cut another hole so they could get out of the pipe, and finally surfaced through a manhole."

It's becoming evident that the two inmates had inside help. Inmates David Sweat 34 and Richard Matt, 48, both convicted murderers, used power tools to drill through concrete and metal pipes to escape without a trace, now 3 days and counting. The inmates, not discovered missing until 5:30 AM the morning after the break, had crucial time to get a head start on authorities. But the question remains as to where they got the valuable power tools and why weren't they heard drilling and cutting? A female prison employee is currently being question in the investigation. The woman, a prison tailor, who insiders say knows the inmate "very well". And if they had help on the inside my guess is that they have help on the outside too so the chances of them finding the inmates dwindle with each passing day.

Since this is my new fascination I had a thought-
I think we-society-should be focused on plastering their pictures all over the media. We should be talking about it on TV, radio and print all day long. So much so that it's a topic on the mind and lips of every walking, breathing American.

I would think our time would be better spent discussing these 'on the loose' criminals as much as let's say...topics that get intense media scrutiny like deflated footballs?

Just a thought.

What? Wait? Again?

Am I the only one who is shocked by the latest Tiger Woods news that his break up with Lindsay Vonn was due to the fact that he cheated with a "faceless, nameless, woman"?

I think I am.

I had to Google the news yesterday because I hadn't heard about it on the gossip pages of a trash magazine. That's surprising, don't you think? On the contrary, I actually believed the official statement put out by Lindsay's people that the breakup was due to the fact that they both "lead incredibly hectic lives that force us to spend a majority of our lives apart". It made sense to me. What a fool I am. Or maybe what a fool Lindsay is, but I was sure this time was going to be different. He knew the world would be watching, and they were. apparently he was seen with the woman and decided to "come clean" (no pun intended) to Lindsay about it.

A Tiger never changes his spots...does he?

A good life lesson for all of us.

A Press Conference With Candy

Friday, January 23, 2015, 11:00AM EST

*With the hordes of media surrounding the bright pink podium at The Daily Dandy headquarters, Candy steps up to the podium clutching a sheet of paper. The sound of camera shutter clicks and reporters shuffling for a better view can be heard  throughout the room as Candy prepares herself to address the media.*

" I'd like to read a prepared statement addressing 'Deflategate' and then I will take questions from the assembled media."
"As a ride or die New England Patriots fan and an even bigger Tom Brady fan I feel the need to address the allegations against My Tommy and my home town team. I first need to state that my silence on this issue on Candy's Daily Dandy in the previous 5 days should in no way be construed as  "disappointment, anger or distress" by me, but simply a circumstantial issue. While I was in NYC moving my daughter into her new apartment over the past week, I had been paying close attention to the daily developments and the reports."

"What I do know is that the NFL's silence on this issue has not clarified any of the facts on 'Deflategate', so we are all left with the Herculean task of Monday morning quarterbacking this controversy. While ESPN has cited a 'report' that 11 of the 12 game balls for the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship game were found to be 2 psi's under what the rules state they should be inflated to-the NFL has yet to confirm this fact. We also now know that there is an NFL game official assigned to inspect and deem appropriate for play, those 12 balls."

"Media speculation has been such that there may have been some foul play in regards to Tommy's balls. Tommy's balls foul? I have to defer that answer to the professionals in charge of balls. It's the ball official that deemed Tommy's balls appropriate for play and therein lies the crux of the investigation. The question begs to be asked, were the balls presented to the official by The New England Patriots for play in the AFC Championship game on Sunday, January 18th, 2 hours before kickoff within legal league specifications? If the answer is yes, then the next question that needs to answered is what happened to Tommy's balls between then and the beginning of the third quarter."

"Conspiracy theories about what happened to the balls are abound and hard earned reputations are being called into question. Until I, like countless others, have all the facts and answers concerning the deflated balls, I am unable to decisively form any opinion regarding Tommy's balls or Deflategate. I will now take questions from the media."

Q:"Candy, will this controversy alter your personal opinion of 'Your Tommy' or his legacy in any way?"

"What I know about My Tommy is that he is a guy who works extra hard day in and day out to maintain his elite status as an NFL quarterback. His maniacal work ethic has been well documented and I think his exemplary record stands as testament to the kind of success he has had throughout his career. It's highly unlikely that I will abandon that position after this controversy has been resolved."

Q:"So are you saying that you don't think Tom Brady is a cheater?" 

"I don't think My Tommy cheated or has to cheat to be Tom Brady. I think people who excel at sports are always subject to naysayers or haters who love it when the mighty fall. It's part of his job as a professional athlete, but it's how people like Tom handle adversity that really sets them apart. Tom Brady didn't get to be Tom Brady by cheating. Tom Brady works hard and loves and respects this game."

Q:"If the NFL confirms that that this was cheating, what will you say then?"

"I hope that none of us ever have to address that issue. What I think we may have to address is the issue of what's commonplace in the NFL as far as the rules are regarded and what isn't. For example, if the national speed limit is 55 and your are caught driving 57, should you loose your license forever? Or should you be fined and given a ticket or even let go with a warning for a minor infraction? Rules of the road are rules of the road but what's an appropriate response for a breech? 

Q: "Do you think the Patriots are being unfairly targeted because of their history with scandal?"

"Yes, but I also think the rules are the rules and no one is above them."

"Thank you for coming today."

Judgement Day

I will admit to being a fan of Bill Cosby's. I remember fondly the Cosby of his 1982 comedy album "Himself" where he regales us with the story of the "Chocolate Cake for breakfast" incident. Those were good times.
I also will admit to being a fan of The 80's mega hit, The Cosby Show TV series. Who didn't love Dr Cliff Huxtable? Unfortunately for myself and countless other Bill Cosby fans, the recent spate of sexual abuse accusations that have befallen Bill Cosby, leave me unable sing his praises any longer.

It's a real WTF? moment.

The thinking here is that one allegation?...bad enough, but innocence certainly is plausible.
More than 3 allegations?...now a pattern is established which makes it extremely difficult to dismiss. The number now stands at 18 women alleging sexual misconduct against Bill Cosby.

The latest? A Cosby "insider", a 90 year old ex-employee of NBC who worked closely with Cosby for years. He claims to have brought multiple women to Cosby's dressing room and that it was "his job to guard the door", unsure of what took place behind those doors. He also claims to have sent hundreds of thousands dollars to women over the years at Cosby's request.

For me, I'm curious why Cosby did it? Because he could? Because he had a sickness? Because he thought no one would find out? Did he have a God complex? Why jeopardize an incredible career? And why would Bill Cosby need to DRUG women so he could have sex with them?

It's reminiscent of Tiger Woods.

Some say these men are not at all who we thought they were, and in Cosby's case we thought we knew him becasue made his fortune selling us on his "good values" and "family values". Selling being exactly what he was doing. It all comes out in the wash, doesn't it? The truth has a funny way of rearing it's ugly head. We are left to decide whether or not we choose to believe it. In this digital age of tweets, status updates and one click publishing I have to wonder if it's worth it to risk your career, your livelihood, even your marriage for a sexual thrill.

Hey, we are all human and as humans we make mistakes. But to abuse, torture or harm someone for your own sexual gain is more than a horrible mistake. It's a moral infraction of the highest degree. Cosby has been tried in the court of public opinion, and despite 2 standing ovations, his judgement has been handed down.

I dare to say Cosby will be in the news again but certainly not for glowing reviews of his work.

Say It Ain't So

Around these parts Wes Welker is still beloved.

I'd be hard pressed to find a Patriots fan who didn't wince when they see Wes Welker suited up in his Denver Broncos uniform. Top that off with the fact that he catches the passes of My Tommy's nemesis-Payton Manning and the pits in our collective stomach's are verging on an ulcer. Mr Welker deservedly remains beloved in New England because he was ours and we loved him for it.

That's exactly why we are left scratching out heads from this latest Wes Welker development.


In case you missed it: Wes Welker has been suspended for 4 games for violating the league's policy on performance enhancing drugs. Evidently it was reported that Welker tested positive for ecstasy laced with amphetamine that he reportedly took during his trip to the Kentucky Derby. Drugs? At the Kentucky Derby? Wes Welker? Really?? I'm not so sure.

In an email to the Denver Post Welker wrote:
"I'm as shocked as everyone at todays news," Welker said in an e-mail to The Denver Post. "I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I would NEVER knowingly take a substance to gain a competitive advantage in any way. Anyone who has ever played a down with me, lifted a weight with me, even eaten a meal with me, knows that I focus purely on what I put in my body and on the hard work I put in year round to perform at the highest levels year-in and year-out"

And I believe him, but how does this happen?

Reportedly Welker is furious over reports that he took a Molly when attending the Kentucky Derby this past May.  He is said to be wondering if someone put a Molly into his drink.

“I wouldn't have any idea where to get a Molly or what a Molly is,” Welker said. “That's a joke. I don't do marijuana, I don't do drugs. I don't do any drugs.”

History in New England has shown that Welker has never had any previous problems with drugs, but I think someone slipping him a Mickey or a Molly is pretty suspect. We are all human. Welker is no exception and humans make mistakes. Somewhere between all this speculation and the official statements to the press remains the truth.

And to be quite honest if he did take the drugs....it's none of my business. The NFL feels quite the opposite.

I Was Just Thinking....

What a world we live in.

Donald Sterling, the LA Clippers basketball team owner is in hot water over racist remarks he made recently that were caught on tape. Caught by Sterling's alleged girlfriend.

Ooooh boy. This one is ugly. The tapes, obtained by TMZ.com, posted on their website on April 25, 2014, were of an alleged conversation that took place between Sterling and his alleged girlfriend. The argument on tape was about the photograph above, posted to her Instagram account. The photo has since been deleted, but the damage has been done. Sterling's reps have stated that the validity of the recording is questionable and could have possibly been tampered with. OK, if that's his story he's going to stick to it. I'm not sure this is the case but it's possible.

I listened to the entire audio of the conversation and I cannot believe what I was hearing...

The high lights/low lights for me:

DONALD: "Ya, it bothers me a lot that you want to promo...broadcast that you're associating with black people. Do you have to?"
GF: "You associate with black people."

GF: "But not in public?"
DONALD: "But why publicize it on the Instagram and why bring it to my games?"

GF: "What's wrong with minorities?"
DONALD: "Minorities are fabulous. Fabulous."

DONALD: "How about your whole life, everyday, you could do whatever you want. You can sleep with them, you can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask is that you not promote it on that and not to bring them to my games."

Here's my thing: I cannot believe that there are actually people that are this RACIST in the world today. The last time I checked, Mr. Sterling employs a team full of black professional athletes and promotes them daily. His alleged girlfriend states on tape quite emphatically that she too is of mixed race. Although she questions him on his statements, she continues to use terms of endearment like "honey" and "sweetie" when speaking to Sterling. At one point she even states that he is in love with her even though she is "black and Mexican".

Here's the other thing. I am not sympathetic to either party here..My opinion of both of these human beings is better left unsaid, but to alegedly lure someone into a taped conversation unknowingly for your own personal and financial gain is deplorable. Yet in today's tech savvy, over sharing world, it's a real possibility. Just ask Donald Sterling.

Somewhere, some how Harvey Levin is so happy he decided to stop practicing law. His pursuit of "justice" has much more meaning today.

Somewhere In The Middle

You know the old saying..there are three sides to every story; her side, his side and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. This comes to mind as I peruse the news stories and the media  hooplah surrounding the open letter Dylan Farrow, adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen,  wrote which was recently published in the  the New York Times Op Ed. 

The letter recounts the story of how Woody Allen sexually abused Dylan when she was a young child of eight years old in her mother's house. The fallout has lit up a firestorm of commentary, opinions and open discussion of sexual abuse, thereby causing Woody Allen to publish a rebuttal in the New York Times this past Sunday. 

She said. He said.

When I read Dylan's open letter, my heart went out to that little girl, laying on her stomach in the "closet like room in the attic".  The letter, published earlier this month, was in response to the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award Allen was given by his peers at January's Golden Globe Awards. Dylan Farrow wanted everyone to know what she has always known. I have to wonder what she would have to gain by publicly outing this dark secret, except complete redemption from a victim to a perp. Why else? 

Then there's his response. Throughout his rebuttal were these words:

Dispositive

Acrimonious

Enmity 

Malevolence

Equivocation 

Insidiously 

I wrote them down. Each one indicative of anger, deceit and bitterness. These words were not so much directed at Dylan but at her mother, Mia Farrow. Herin lies the crux of this story. The failed relationship between Allen and Farrow. The children somehow became fallout and maybe Dylan believed that her story became a victim of that fallout too. Maybe that's why she wrote the letter. 

He said, she said. Somewhere in the middle....

The sad truth is what the judge in this case said many years ago when bringing this litigation to a close; we may never know the truth. 

Because whatever the truth is now lost to all but the two people who know it. What we are left with is a peek into this dark story and our opinions. Some on his side, some on her side. 

And the rest of us? We too, fall somewhere in the middle. 

Take Your Syringe And Go Home

So while I was in New York City this weekend, (sorry about missing blogging) all the talk was about The Roid Man. New York Yankees big third baseman, who is an even bigger problem, was handed a big suspension by MLB yesterday for failing mandatory drug tests. Rodriguez was suspended from baseball along with 12 other major and minor leaguers for testing positive for PED's and for their ties to Biogenesis of America, an anti-aging clinic in Florida a proven distributor of steroids to athletes. 

There is no question that in this day and age of professional sports, pro athletes abuse PED's to get ahead. The news papers are littered with stories about the down fall of sports heros everyday. So the question remains, is he a moron???

Did he not learn anything from former teammate Roger Clemens rediculous denial of proven PED use or the media circus that followed that debacle. The taint that follows the once invincible "Rocket Man" most definitely enters the room before Clemens does. And no matter how hard he tries, he will forever be dubbed a cheater. He can't shake it and he never will. 

So if A-Rod is indeed the moron we know he is, and he didn't get it with them, he's stil got McGuire, Sousa, Manny Ramirez and countless others all going down in history with and asterisk next to their name. The black mark of the MLB, an asterisk. Maybe the Roid man believes he is in good company. 

He was quoted last night as saying, "if I don't fight for my career, no one else will." 

Yes Alex, because there was NO ONE, not one in New York that was willing to defend you. The general consensus was, "take your lies and get lost." 

True blue Red Sox fan or not, I have to agree.

Athletes, Football, The AFC and Faith

On this day of football,
we look upon ourselves,
Think of those whom we love,
and know by which we play for.

God grant us victory,
As we come to battle...
We fight to win.



I watched the Oprah Interview with Lance Armstrong late into the night last night and I came away with an uneasy feeling. The man appeared uncomfortable, smug at times, remorseful at times, incredulous and groveling. I'm not sure what to think. I do know firsthand, that liars believe their own lies. The lies become truths to them and that's how they get away with it. Not for long because Karma is a fierce mistress and she will make you pay.

I did find him to be quite physically appealing, and I'm not talking about attraction or sexual desire (I will save all of that for the man pictured above) I'm talking about his physicality. Lance is the epitome of an athletic specimen, chemically enhanced or not and I couldn't help but be distracted by his chiseled facial structure, and his defined cheekbones. (I just want to highlight and contour that face)

The point is, it's easy to see how he used his physicality and his cunning to get those around him to drink the Lance Kool-Aid. And they did, and now that the jig is up, they are all coming clean. Lance had that invincible "athlete" mentality that Tiger Woods and Roger Clemens so famously choked on too. He then got greedy and says that none of this would have happened if he had not decided on the come back. An intriguing interview at best and the greatest infomercial ever invented for the OWN Network.

Which brings me to football.

I'm not feeling any swagger, making any predictions or talking any trash. I'm grateful to the man above, (My Tommy) for the luxury of  being able to keep watching Patriots football in mid January. I have faith in my team and I have enjoyed every second of this pro football in the NFL at Foxboro's Gillette Stadium ride. I pray that Tommy never has to sit down with Oprah for anything other than to discuss his Hall of Fame NFL career.

Let's just take it one game at a time.  Good Luck. Go Pats!

Cinnamon Says...

Listen honey:

•  “I also didn’t get the acting nomination. I noticed no one was saying I was snubbed there!” Ben Affleck said after the press asked him how he felt about the Best Director Oscar snub.  I love that! Sexy Bostonian.

• Watched "Seal Team Six" last night. Interesting, powerful and somewhat hard to believe? Two of the actors are from TV shows that I used to watch, and I found that to be distracting. I am embarrassed to admit that missed the most important part! I fell asleep before they executed mission. I'm just an old bag. Good thing it's a two-day rental. I'm going to watch the last 25 mins tonite.

• Oprah talked to Lance...Did she make him cry? I'm especially intrigued. Although I think Babs (Barbara Walters) would have been a better interview.

• What you say? Facebook is expected to make a big announcement today. I'm waiting with bated breath. Even still, I sold my stock yesterday...Is it a smart phone? A search engine? Will it be revolutionary  Life changing? Industry transforming? Should I buy again? 

• Going to my second straight AFC Championship game on Sunday in Foxboro and I'm cautiously optimistic. Just sayin..

• Pannini's for dinner tonite!! Aren't I a fun mom? I got a Pannini maker from Santa and I'm using it tonite. Minestrone soup too!

Harry's Willy

Ok, so really?

Big fricken whoop. Harry got caught showing his willy in Vegas while on what was reported to be a drunken escapade. Again, big fricken whoop.

Yes, he's third in line to the throne. Yes, he's a British Royal. Yes, he's got a certain image to protect, but at 27 he's a young guy who made a slight error in judgement. Not unlike most single, young guys his age.

Where's the scandal? Looks to me like he was having a good time and feeling comfortable in his own skin. At least he was covering "the crown jewels". If he were a married man, yup, huge scandal. If he were on a mission to the US, to speak about sexual abstinence, yes, a disgraceful turn of events. But the Prince never claimed to be a choir boy and no he isn't any of those things.

His crime? He got caught with his pants down by a cell phone and he just happens to be Queen Elizabeth's grandson. My question is where was Palace security inside that Las Vegas hotel room?

I guess when you are the late Princess Diana's son, the most beloved Royal to date, and your public persona is far more important than the charity work that you do and good that your celebrity brings to a cause, it's not ok to get your freak on naked with some skank in a hotel room.

Really?

Yeah, cuz when you're Prince Harry what happens in Vegas stays on your resume forever.

Kraft-y

So there's a HUGE bru-ha-ha going on here with the Patriots head poobah, Bob Kraft. Seems Mr. Kraft, he of the flawless PR, known in pro football and business circles as a King Midas of sorts, has until yesterday been literally untouchable. His organization, The New England Patriots, are one of the most successful NFL organizations in the league and Kraft has been credited with turning the Patriots into NFL gold.

All the while, Mr. Kraft and his family have been a public relations dream. His wife of 47 years, Myra, a well known and respected philanthropist, passed away last July after a valiant battle with cancer. At 71, Bob public mourned the "love of his life" and the 2011-2012 Patriots dedicated their season to their matriarch, Myra Kraft. Coverage of Myra's funeral was streaming live on almost every Boston news organization. Bottom line, if you are a Pat's fan, you mourned too.

So was it a surprise when Mr. Kraft was seen at a recent Celtics game squiring a 32 year old aspiring actor named Ricki Lander?

The answer to that question lies in your tolerance level for a proper period of mourning. Who's to say what's mournfully acceptable? And who really cares what their relationship is? Kraft publicly declared his young attendant a "pal" and that was enough for me.

That was all fine and well until yesterday.

That's when Bob Kraft "regretfully" joined the ranks of the creepy and the Kraft-y, although I'm sure this was "never his intention". A video with Ricki and Bobby (see what I did there?) was leaked to the press and instantly went mega viral. She in a bikini, and Bob in a casual sweater, can be seen reading lines from what is thought to be parts of the script from the upcoming Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie called "The Interns". Word has it that Kraft intended the video audition for his "pal" to be seen by Vince Vaughn's eyes only but when something is just not right, and it's caught on film, it always jumps up to bite you in the proverbial ass. Doesn't it?

The video has since been removed by Fox, claiming ownership of it's content, and I did not see it, but plenty of people did and the reviews were not exactly stellar. I can only speculate at this point what the fallout will be, but  I do know that Mr. Kraft immediately released a statement to the press using the words "intention" and "regretfully" which is never a good thing.


“I tried to help Ricki prepare an audition tape for an upcoming Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy by reading Wilson’s lines,” Kraft said in a statement from the team. “I never intended that it would be made public and I regret that it has. I think we can all agree that Owen Wilson has nothing to worry about. I am going to stick to my day job.” 



At most, his intended humor serves to relay the message, "lighten up" people, I'm human, too.

I Was Just Thinking....

What the hell is wrong with this world?

My morning paper is filled with tawdry and tragic tales of sex crimes. Are people really that stupid? Lets talk first about legendary Penn State Football Coach Joe Paterno. While the facts on this case seem solid, the details are wherein the devil lies. Literally. What a horrid mess of details. Coach Paterno's former assistant, Jerry Sandusky has been charged with 8 counts of sexual molestation with boys in 15 years.

In 2002, Mike Queary, came to Paterno to report seeing Sandusky in the showers with a 10 year old boy. At that time Patreno took the matter to athletic director Tim Curley and vice president Gary Schultz. All three of them are jobless today and dishonestly discharged from their respective careers. At 84, this legendary role model disgraced his name by taking a play directly from the Catholic church's play book; shut up and make it go away. Maybe Bernard Law and Joe Paterno can now become Penn pals, complete pun intended.

Then there's Cain. Herman Cain has taken a play directly out of the Bill Clinton playbook and is playing the adamant denial game. Now this is a little something I know about. Liars always believe their own lies. After a while they are so convinced of their innocence that they will go to great lengths to convince you and themselves of it. But it never pans out and karma is a bitch who will never let you forget. One woman interviewed in the Boston Herald said, "Herman Cain is a sociopath. You can catch them doing something on video and they'll deny they were even on the planet." My point exactly. And this guy want to run for President? These are not adulterous charges, these are titilating and scandalous charges by multiple women.

Then there's this doosey: A woman in Attleboro, MA stands accused of forcing her 10 year-old daughter, crying, to stand naked in front of her computer web cam so a "photographer" could measure her body type for a bikini shoot. Seems this 41 year-old mother was shopping around for a modeling gig for herself on the internet when she received a Facebook message from a man claiming to be from a Florida photography firm. She then sent pictures of her naked breasts to him and told him about her 10 year-old daughter.

"John" then told her he had a client who wanted to do a bikini shoot with a mother and daughter. The planned a Skype conversation with "John", who explained that his camera was broken, which is why the mother and daughter couldn't see him. The mother then had her crying daughter strip naked and pose in front of the camera for about 15 minutes. "John" was arrested in Iowa after the mother's sister tipped off police. She told authorities that "John" had offered the mother $20,000.00 for her and her daughter to come to Florida for the shoot.

I'll say it again, are people really that stupid? What the hell is wrong with this world? Sex and scandal and stupidity.

That's a daily trifecta that has no winners.

Stick A Fork In Him

So I just don't get this.

Chris Brown, who pleaded guilty in 2009 to assaulting then girlfriend Rhianna, apparently had a major melt down in his dressing room at the New York studios of Good Morning America yesterday. Brown, who spent the last two years apologizing and keeping out of trouble since he took a huge hit (no pun intended) in his career from the fallout of the Rhianna incident, was on the morning show to promote his new album.

GMA anchor Robin Roberts asked him about whether or not he has moved on from the incident with Rhianna, and Brown, clearly bothered by this, spent the next two minutes trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Rhianna and onto his new album. After his GMA performance, Brown then stormed his dressing room and trashed it. He then threw a chair into a window smashing glass onto the streets of Times Square below, ripped off his shirt and was photographed leaving the GMA set in a fury.

Do you think this kid has a serious anger management problem? Word has it that Brown was aware that he would be questioned about the infamous 2009 incident, yet he couldn't control his rage and successfully erased all the work he had done in the past two years rehabbing his image. For what? Because a TV journalist pissed him off? Hey, we all get pissed off, but we go home and throw chairs through windows, not in the headquarters of the powers that be. No amount of remorse can erase this one. So what if he patiently signed autographs for fans hours later on the streets of New York. The kid successfully put the word PROBLEM between his first and last name.

What the hell? Just when it was safe to come out from the shadows and eat some proverbial crow saying he was sorry for his behavior, he revealed to the masses who he really is. First time shame on me. Second time, shame on you.

Shame on you Chris Brown. Dude, seriously? You just blew it, again. Looks like you're just a punk with an anger management problem and not much else. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this one. I think you have successfully stuck the fork in yourself, cuz dude, you're all done.

Down Heff's Rabbit Hole

I was on by beloved elliptical machine this morning and the Charlie Sheen Train Wreck update spewed forth the latest across my TV screen. Seems his 23 month old twin boys were yesterday removed from his home by authorities. But that's not really what this post is about. This post is about family. I thought about Charlie Train Wreck and his goddesses whom he calls his family.

I, like everyone else, likened the Charlie Sheen situation to the legendary Hugh Hefner and his family. They even joked about it in Charile's 20/20 interview. I then realized that Hef blazed that goddess trail years ago, and we can assume he did it somewhat drug free. Hef built an empire on goddesses and got married and had babies. He smoked cigars and slept with women and kept on making nudie magazines and money and no one slapped restraining orders on him, took his children or forced him into rehab.

He just went on being head of his family, living in his mansion. We even watched it on reality TV with the "Girls Next Door". Who doesn't really know who Kendra Wilkinson or Holly Madison is? All this and Hef kept his cool head. He lived and bedded the goddesses and nobody said a word. No media tirades, we are assuming no drug addictions, and no porn stars. Hef managed to make soft porn socially acceptable and in the process became a mogul. Doesn't this make him the original rock star?

And his family? Hef took care of his family. Who's to say what the definition of a family should be? Same gender, same race, 2 or 3 people, it makes no difference if it works for them, consenting adults. Put children and drugs in the mix and you've got a whole different story. When it comes to taking care of family and business, maybe Sheen should maybe take a page out of the Hugh Hefner Prime Of His Life Handbook. Yeah, and stop proclaiming his Adonis DNA and his F-16 Fighter status. He needs to fall down Hef's rabbit hole.

See the thing about Hef is like I always say, "Hef never thought he was better than anybody else, he just knew that nobody was better than him."

I Have An Announcement To Make

"I had sex with both Jesse James and Tiger Woods and I have the racy texts to prove it."

Weston, MA, March 26 2010-Candy of Candy's Daily Dandy reveals proof of her 3 year, steamy, sexual relationships with both Jesse James and Tiger Woods and releases this statement to the press through her attorney.

Why not? Hey, everybody else seems to be doing it. Why shouldn't I jump on the bandwagon and see what I can gain from it? That should at least score me a phone call from Gloria Allred, which should be good because I've always wondered how that woman sleeps at night.

What's wrong with our society today is not the invention of the Internet so much as our dependence on portable electronic devices. They deliver instant access to our social networking world and for some, it's like main lining with your dark side. They are killing us slowly. Our children are occupied by text when we are trying to connect with them. Facebook and IM and ichat are pinging and blooping in the background while the kids are doing their homework and the emotive notification tone of a text message disrupts a productive stream of consciousness.

Have you ever stopped for a moment to listen for your ring tone because you swear you just heard it, only to find it was in your imagination? OR been on your cell phone having a conversation while furiously looking around for your CELL PHONE? Sometimes I'm panicked, searching for my phone only to find that is already in my hand. I'm that dependent on the stupid thing. And it is why people like the aforementioned adulterers were able to continue their lurid behavior on the sly. In the world of electronic sex, naughty, hot exchanges are key to fuel the adultery fire. We'll call it safe sex because no body fluids need be exchanged and it can easily be deleted. The secret is safe. Unless you're a celebrity these days.

I'm not interested in looking at My Guy's cell phone because honestly, I don't want to know. And I shouldn't have to, in a perfect world. But we all know that this isn't a perfect world. There are other ways to pick up on the cheating cues, unless you are married to a psycho-pathic deviant liar. Like I was. Like Elin is and Sandra. How did we not know? They were really good at keeping their deviant, torrid, text sex a secret because it wouldn't be as much fun otherwise. Deviance is like a drug and the sex is the haze of the high. An addict will do whatever it takes to keep the high going and the text message is the needle that delivers the drug instantly. And there's no paper trail. Instant gratification in your front pocket.

And lately, skanky deviants and bimbos are lining up for a handout. Or a photo spread, or some notoriety and a book deal and the skanky deviant celebrity is looking for a fix. But the real villain here is the text message and the cell phone just may be the new sex toy.

Despicable Doesn't Begin To Cover It

Sorry about the confusion over Friday's post. As my friend, Mrs. Hall explained so eloquently on Friday's post in the comment section, yes it was judgement day for my EX ASS, meaning my asshole of an EX-husband. Thanks to Mrs. Hall and I apologize to you bloggers for my quick, crap post, as it was literally thrown together on an iphone as I sat in a court house. (I thought the picture was brilliant, though)

Funny, but after listening to the lies of the EX-ASS, and the lengths he would go to to save his own hide, I went on about my day only to come home that night to catch ABC's news program 20/20.

How ironic.

The topic was Andrew Young, ex-aide to John Edwards, tell all book about the despicable John Edwards and the cover up of the decade. It would seem that this was the day for me to sit mesmerized by tales and lies and the lengths that people will go to, to cover up the truth. Of course, not everything we read, see or hear is the absolute truth and Mr. Young is just as despicable as Mr. Edwards, but whoo boy, I couldn't help but wonder what the HELL John Edwards was thinking.

Seems Edwards was in the midst of his run for the White House and the American Presidency, when the shit hit the fan and the fan was on high. Edwards, seen by the media as the dark horse in the race against Hillary and Obama, was the possible front runner in the pending Iowa Caucuses. Around the same time Edwards wife of 30 years, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she valiantly and publicly urged her husband to continue his presidential bid. What we, the American people, didn't know was also at the same time Mr. Edwards VERY PREGNANT mistress Rielle Hunter, was about to give birth to his illegitimate child. And that there were lots of people willing to lie, finance, and cover up this fact, to get Edwards into the White House at all costs. But lucky for us, we have the National Enquirer, who's sole purpose it is to expose scumbags of all race and class and political party.

The National Enquirer was hot on Rielle Hunter's trail and Edwards had to make a move fast. What's even more ironic is that Edwards didn't seem to be worried about loosing his presidential bid as much as he was worried about his wife finding out about Rielle and the baby. In stepped trusted aide Andrew Young to save the day. This boob had his nose so far up Edwards ass that he actually made a public statement, claiming paternity of Hunter's child. Young, married with three children, moved Edward's preggers hussy into his home, with said family, and fell on his sword for Edwards. Motivated by what could only be an unlimited bank account, Young, his wife and Hunter went into hiding while they waited for the birth of the child.

The rest is history, as they say, Edwards tanked in Iowa, then New Hampshire and pretty much suspended his campaign after that. Ya think? How the hell this guy did not have an anxiety attack during all of this is amazing. It just reinforces the fact that he is most certainly a pathological, self absorbed, despicable liar who will ruin, destroy and crush anyone in his path. I mean, did he really think he could become president with THAT skeleton in his closet?? I will never understand how terrible people manage to get away with terrible things.

Andrew Young is not without fault. He has fallen in the graces of his colleagues for a man who promised to take care of him forever, only to find himself now unemployable. A man who told Andrew he will always be family, and today will not take his calls. A man who abused Andrew's trust, his wife's trust, his mistress' trust, this country's trust and for what?

Today, they are all sitting in their own stink and despicable doesn't begin to cover it is a mere understatement.