Thursday, March 31, 2011

Today's Special: Candy's Beauty Favorites

Let's talk beauty today, shall we? It's been a while and I happily present to you my fave beauty picks for spring. The Kevyn Aucoin Celestial Bronzing Veil: I have said this so many times it has become somewhat of a personal mantra. I am a girl who wears a bronzer 365 days a year. Bronzer is most definitely my dessert island product. This delightful, finely milled bronzing powder is one of the finest I have ever used. Best layered over the face with a wide head natural brush. It's a great set for your foundation and will give you a golden, California girl glow with it's unique combination of bronze, golden and cool crystal pigments. The Candy Bar proudly sells Kevyn Aucion Cosmetics.

Dior Poison: I gotta roll old school with one. Dior Poison, launched in 1985, is one of the sexiest, sultriest fragrance in your fragrance wardrobe. I am loving this deluxe oriental, floral that was designed to be worn for romance. It's blend of amber, honey, berries and other intoxicating spices makes me want to romance myself when I am wearing this. HA! It's a powerful weapon in the "tell me I smell yummy wars".

The Beauty Blender: This amazing pink egg has changed my entire beauty regime for the better. Used wet, this revolutionary makeup sponge, gives your foundation application a flawless, air brushed finish every time. Use it with liquid foundation, air can foundation (spray directly on the damp sponge) and mineral powder foundations. The elliptical shape was designed with the contours of the face in mind. The result is that your makeup looks better than ever! This is the number one selling product at The Candy Bar and if you check out my Facebook page, you will see pictures of it's creator, Rea Ann Siva, with me in my store. She wanted to meet me because I sell so many Beauty Blenders and we bonded over our love of product.
DuWop Blushbooster: This blush is da bomb, plain and simple. It can be worn alone or over your current blush and it's a fresh breath of luminosity. You can choose from 4 shades (and yes I sell it at The Candy Bar and I own all 4 myself.) It's the kind of blush that makes other women silently wonder with envy what you are wearing on your cheeks.

Oh ladies, is it any wonder how I do it all and keep my people looking beautiful too? I'm just a product junkie on a mission to make the world a better place, one product at a time.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

And You Need A Liscense To Fish?

So my bestest girlfriend G sent me this and I hadda laugh....out loud. Some people just don't get it. I encourage you to judge for yourself.

There are not enough words....

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's Britney, Bi*ch

Why am I writing about Britney today? Because today her new album Femme Fatale drops and because she was all over my beloved Good Morning America. I actually worked out this morning with Britney.

I feel like I really want to hate her, but for some reason I can't. She has managed to stay relevant and continues to keep her hold in our culture.She's made big mistakes in the public eye and lived to tell about them. I watched her performance this morning and I have to admit, her new single, "Hold It Against Me" has some serious "sticking in your head" power. I keep waiting for her to bomb big time, but she hasn't. And I also have to admit at 29 years old, and selling over 100 million albums to date, the girl is a bona fide pop icon.

Say what you will about her. She of the gargantuan mental melt down in front of the world, this Phoenix emerged from the ashes more powerful and popular than ever. You just have to respect that. You may not respect the choices she has made in her personal life, but you can't deny that her mom and dad stepped in and saved her life and that her two little boys still have their mama. Whatever that is worth.

This Britney is a little slower and not as crisp on stage, but she still rocks and the people love her. Suffice it to say that she's not going anywhere soon. She may not be the classiest pop star nor the brightest pop star on the block, but she's a draw and she still sells. I'm also sure that some of her new album will migrate it's way onto my ipod.

Britney and I were born on the same day, so in a way we are kindred spirits from "the day of larger than life" (our birthday December 2). And quietly I'll be rooting for her, because I love a good story of triumph and hers is one for the record books. That's right, It's Britney, Bitch, and she's back.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Monday Morning

I can't say that I enjoy Monday's. Nobody really does. It comes after my favorite day of the week, Sunday, and it has a way of creeping up on the sanctity of Sunday.

Reasons for hating Mondays:

  • It's Monday. Need I say more?

  • All the crap you left on Friday till after the weekend is staring you in the face, taunting you like an uninvited guest.

  • Monday is always the day you swear you are going to stop procrastinating. "Ill start on Monday." And you know that once Monday rolls around you're doomed.

  • Monday's can be hopeful. Staring down the face of the coming week, it can seem like you have plenty of time to do what needs to be done. Then you wake up and realize that ain't gonna happen.

  • Monday is a buzz kill. It come on the heels of a weekend. The best days of the week are on the weekend, but sadly Monday won't stay away. It's inevitable and sometimes it tries to mask it's responsibility with a holiday. Only when Monday makes a long weekend, do we embrace it with open arms.

  • You don't hear pop singers making songs about Monday, do you?

  • No one EVER wants to be known as a "Monday Morning Quarterback".

  • There's nothing good on TV on Monday Nights. Except for Nurse Jackie.

The best thing about Monday, is that it will soon pass and before we know it, it will be gone .

Then we can get on happily with our lives because we will be one day closer to the weekend.

Friday, March 25, 2011

OMG Really? It's In The Dictionary

I love this story. Apparently we have entered into the LOL Millennium.

It was just announced that a few of the most popular terms in the hip vernacular have been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Terms like, LOL, OMG and the symbol otherwise known as the heart. As in I heart you.

LOL! This is hilarious. The adjective "muffin top" also scored a spot in Oxford which is unbelievable considering there are more that a few of our population that have no idea what a "muffin top" is. (unless of course you have one) These terms, most commonly associated with electronic media, being added to the English language's text book of words solidifies the definition of a generation and our dependence on technology. Who knew?

Now there is no argument at the dinner table over the proper use of the English language. It's official. We can abbreviate our emotions and argue that it's legal. The Scrabble fanatics will have a field day with this one.

Have a great weekend Bloggers! I want to give a special shout out to my boy Frack, who turns 15 years old tomorrow. I gotta say WOW, like how did that happen? Wasn't it just yesterday that he was a little boy? It's like I turned around and he is a man, almost without warning. I heart him...

And I heart u all!

LOL, I can't believe I just typed that.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Silly Rabbit, Kicks Are For Kids

Yup, I'm over 40 and I'm still wearing them. Nothing says who I am more than the sneakers I put on my feet. You see, I wear my sneakers when I'm being a casual version of myself. When I feel like I don't care what I look like and when I feel like I do care what I look like. My kicks can tell you a lot about me.

It's like the fun version of me comes alive. On my first trip to Europe, one would think I stuffed my suitcase with fabulous European fashions, and I did, but I ended up bringing home 3 pairs of sneakers along with all that fashion. The Europeans do it right when it comes to sneakers. Somehow a handsome, well dressed European guy almost always tops off his outfit with the proper sneaker to make him look effortlessly fashionable.

I have sneakers in all shapes and colors. Bright green, leopard print, neon pink and yellow in high tops and low tops, nothing is too daring or crazy if it tickles my fancy. Let's not forget about the "utilitarian" sneakers that one must have. The sneakers that protect the foot and aid the wearer in a daily workout. These are my least favorite sneakers, but a must, and I painstakingly choose my design. Have you ever designed your own pair of sneakers online? I have yet to try this, but my kids have and it's a brilliant marketing tool. They tell me these are the Holy Grail of kicks to come by.

What kind of sneaker are you and what do they say about your personality?

Because they're not just for kids, but for the kid who lives inside you.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Stick A Fork In Him

So I just don't get this.

Chris Brown, who pleaded guilty in 2009 to assaulting then girlfriend Rhianna, apparently had a major melt down in his dressing room at the New York studios of Good Morning America yesterday. Brown, who spent the last two years apologizing and keeping out of trouble since he took a huge hit (no pun intended) in his career from the fallout of the Rhianna incident, was on the morning show to promote his new album.

GMA anchor Robin Roberts asked him about whether or not he has moved on from the incident with Rhianna, and Brown, clearly bothered by this, spent the next two minutes trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Rhianna and onto his new album. After his GMA performance, Brown then stormed his dressing room and trashed it. He then threw a chair into a window smashing glass onto the streets of Times Square below, ripped off his shirt and was photographed leaving the GMA set in a fury.

Do you think this kid has a serious anger management problem? Word has it that Brown was aware that he would be questioned about the infamous 2009 incident, yet he couldn't control his rage and successfully erased all the work he had done in the past two years rehabbing his image. For what? Because a TV journalist pissed him off? Hey, we all get pissed off, but we go home and throw chairs through windows, not in the headquarters of the powers that be. No amount of remorse can erase this one. So what if he patiently signed autographs for fans hours later on the streets of New York. The kid successfully put the word PROBLEM between his first and last name.

What the hell? Just when it was safe to come out from the shadows and eat some proverbial crow saying he was sorry for his behavior, he revealed to the masses who he really is. First time shame on me. Second time, shame on you.

Shame on you Chris Brown. Dude, seriously? You just blew it, again. Looks like you're just a punk with an anger management problem and not much else. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this one. I think you have successfully stuck the fork in yourself, cuz dude, you're all done.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Can We Blame Joe Biden For A Bad Chem Grade?

So we got in super late last night from DC and the reason we got in late was because our Vice President, Joe Biden, was hogging up all the air space between Boston and Wahington DC.

Of course, they kept telling us the reason our flight was delayed 3 plus hours was because of poor visibility, but a quick call home confirmed the fact that the weather had cleared up much earlier in the day. I only found out the truth from our flight attendant once we got on the plane and were delayed in the runway for the 5th time running.

Frick LOVED Washington and the college tour, and we did the memorials too, so I can't complain too much. Over all it was a great trip! A huge highlight for me was that I got to meet my blogger friend Jim in between college tours. It was so great to finally put a face to the name and we so enjoyed the all too brief time we spent with him.

The bummer was that Frick had this huge Chem project to finish and it was one of those diagramy thingies that we needed to PAINT....Needless to say we were up all night painting Styrofoam balls and now she is cramming to finish it.

Thanks a lot Joe. I'm writing to your office if Frick gets a bad grade. Not kidding.

Lucky for you Frick is an EXCELLENT student because I wouldn't want to face the wrath of her mother....

Friday, March 18, 2011

College Road Trip

So we are embarking on our first of many College Road trips this weekend. Frick is a high school junior and it's high time we checked out the institutes of higher learning as she goes forth.

This weekend we travel to our nation's capital to take in the sites and the schools.

I will not be blogging on Monday, but will be returning to the bloggersphere on Tuesday, March 22, 2011. I hope to have lots of wonderful details and memories to share with you and I can't say I'm not looking forward to having a little fun while we are there.

And so the ride begins..take a deep breath, mother........

Have a great weekend Bloggers!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Proud To Be Irish

Two Irish mothers, Kate and Lorna were talking about their sons.
Kate says, 'My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years.'

Lorna responds, 'Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time.'

'My word,' says Kate, 'You must be so proud.'

'I am,' announces Lorna, 'And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party.'

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Loser Like Me

Last night it was all about being an original.

Song, that is, and the McKinnley High glee club decided that they would write and perform original songs for Regionals. Kurt's Dalton Academy Warblers opened the show with a fantastic cover of Maroon 5's "Misery". With Blaine at the lead, once again, Kurt found the nerve to complain to Blaine that he was tired of Blaine leading all the solos. He even called the Warblers, "Blaine and the Pips." Boo fricken hoo. I could watch and listen to Blaine (Darren Criss) all night long. After Kurt's beloved parakeet Pavorrati died, a sullen Kurt sang my favorite Beatles tune , "Blackbird" in his memory. And something magical happened. Blaine saw Kurt for the first time through different eyes. He later tells Kurt, “There is a moment when you say to yourself, ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.’ Watching you do ‘Blackbird’ this week, that was the moment for me, about you. You move me, Kurt.” And then they kissed! It was a sweet moment we have all been waiting for.

Rachel sang her latest attempt at an original song, "Only Child" to Finn in the choir room. Finn told her he thought it was better than her last attempt, but that she needs to write from deep inside and only then will she succeed. Quinn, standing outside the choir room, observing Rachel and Finn, gives us an inside look into the inner workings of her brain. She wonders how someone like Finn could like someone as annoying as Rachel, but she concedes that Finn is a good guy. She decides that without him she will not get what she truly desires; prom queen and that she knows that only Rachel stands in her way. Quinn then puts into work her plan, keeping her enemy Rachel as close as possible. Quinn and Rachel decide to write an original song together, but when Rachel shows up to write she instead confronts Quinn about what's going on with her and Finn. Quinn mercilessly tells Rachel that she will end up heartbroken and Quinn will end up with Finn, kids, a successful career as a real estate agent and Finn taking over Kurt's dad's tire shop. "You don't belong here, Rachel and you can't hate me for helping me send you on your way." Rachel storms out, heartbroken and writes her song on her own.

Santana and Brittney continue with last week's lady love plot line. Brittany asks Santana why she won't talk to her and Santana tells her that she blew her off for Artie. Sue sees them in the hall, and after being more than nasty to them she tells them that she likes to play dirty. The girls then open their lockers which are full of dirt, which sprays all over both of them. The glee club continue to perform originals. Santana's "Trouty Mouth" for Sam and Puck's, "Big Ass Heart" for Lauren, but the best of these offerings was Mercedes', "Hell To The No." All good, but inappropriate for Regionals. The club, using Coach Sylvester as fuel and Mr. Shue's Rhyming Dictionaries write their new anthem.

Onto Regionals where Sue's Aural Intensity sing a perky, pop, version of ,"Jesus is a friend of mine." The crowd and the judges loved it! The Warblers are up next and Kurt and Blaine sing a duet. "Candles" from Hey Monday, which is nice, a bit too vanilla for me but I like Pink's, "Raise Your Glass" with Blaine at the lead much better. The New Directions are next and Rachel takes center stage with her original, "Get It Right". I must admit that Rachel (Leah Michelle) can do no wrong vocally in my eyes, so I loved this. And in what must be no surprise to anyone, my Download Pick of the Week is the glee club original, "Loser Like Me." Complete with fingers raised in the shape of an L on their foreheads, the New Directions capped off their song with confetti filled slushie cups tossed into the audience.

The New Directions win the competition, Kurt wins Blaine, and Rachel wins the competition MVP. "all I’ve ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen, and I just wanted to thank you guys so much for giving me that.”

Sometime the losers finally win.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Advertising Is Childs Play

Cute, funny and precocious, kids are advertising gold for businesses. Let's take the latest media blitz of kiddie commercials. Fast food giant Subway sandwich shops leads the pack with this hilarious look at young love.

And this which illustrates that rite of passage at the elementary school cafeteria; the trade.

The E Trade baby continues to give us laughs and brand recognition whenever we see the baby spokesman appear ready to do his shtick. The E Trade baby has major water cooler mojo in business circles.

Kids are advertising pay dirt plain and simple. We, the consumers, love it because it makes a funny reality out of the absurd. And much like the old advertising catchphrase from Merrill Lynch, "When the E Trade baby talks, people listen."

Monday, March 14, 2011

Humble Pie

I had a large helping of humble pie today. While exercising this morning I was thinking about blog topics.
  • I might have wanted to blog about tonight's finale of, "The Bachelor", but it seemed so minuscule and shallow when you think about the devastation in Japan.

  • I might have wanted to blog about the Celtics finally winning a good one, but it didn't seem fitting, considering the tragedy in Japan.

  • I'm totally into what is probably the WORST show on TV, "The Celebrity Apprentice" and I could have talked about last night's episode and how Lisa Rhinna got fired, and how in the boardroom the Donald told her how he loved her lips without the huge implants and how inappropriate it was. But I can't do that either because I can't get the images of the devastation caused by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan out of my head.

I want to talk about the amazing people who are helping the survivors and the care and compassion they are showing for complete strangers. How an American news crew who approached a group of now homeless Japanese people, sitting amongst the devastation of what used to be their homes, and were offering food from their precious rations to the Americans. The gesture was quite humbling.

It's all been quite humbling and from the comfort of my untouched home, with electricity, heat and water a plenty, I want to say I am in awe of the work that people are doing to help the people of Japan. I can do my part by donating money to The Red Cross, but not much else.

And I applaud you.

Because tomorrow the sun will rise again.

Friday, March 11, 2011

What An Ass

Hey Bloggers! It's Friday and you know what that means?

It's time for those Wal Mart Crazees to REAR their ugly heads. HA! That was a play on words because a quick check of the site reveals that these crazys have no CRACK in the facade of life.

They know that it pays to act like an ASS.

OK, so this guy is not showing his posterior, but he is displaying a keen fashion sense. I applaud him on the skirt with those FAB shoes. I think he's kinda cute.

This is just wrong on so many levels and you gotta love how she strategically has her t-shirt rolled over the top of her whimsical, red polka dot thong. Ah the mystery...

The fanny pack is aptly named here, as this is one FANNY that is surely packing.

Really? Put back the beef jerky and grab yourself a pair of pants that fit, dude. Cmon, this guy's suspenders could be sued for non support.

You know that dog is thinking, "Oh my God, get me outta here before I die of embarrassment."

Ummm...not quite sure what to say about this one. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Isn't this every one's attire whilst out running a few errands?

And my personal favorite:

The thing here is that the poor lady may or may not have known that someone was taking a picture. But no underwear? For real? I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and guess that her thong is lost somewhere in that great divide.

Happy weekend bloggers! Whatever you do, try not to go out and make an ASS of yourself. OK?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Joke provided by

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Glee's Bringing Sexy Back

They're also bringing substitute teacher Holly Holiday, (Gwyneth Paltrow) back and that usually means some sort of sexy shake up. The sex-packed episode started out with a meeting of a three member Celibacy Club which consisted of Rachel; to help her get over Finn, Quinn; to also get over Finn and Emma to just get over it. She has her issues with sex.

In walks super sexy Holly, who Will Shuester is more than delighted to see, and she immediately clashes with prudish Emma over how the kids should be educated about sex. I'm thinking all the kids really needed to do is watch the scenes between Holly and Will and then just fill in the blanks. Damn, these two have some serious chemistry, and I'm glad to see Will back to his sexy self, and not the babbling fool chasing after a married Emma.

There seemed to be a lot going on here, as Santana and Brittney, "The Lesbian Years" takes center stage. Santana decides that Brittnay is the girl she really wants and tells her she misses her sweet lady kisses. Awkward. But this story line reveals a kinder, gentler Santana and her spot on clueless, target of her affection Brittnay. They decide to talk to Holly about their feelings. Holly told the girls they needed to be able to talk to each other and express their feelings or better yet sing a song about them! Holly and the girls performed the Stevie Knicks ballad "Landslide", and Santana's vulnerable side was on display for the glee club's consumption. I have to say, I think there is potential for this girl on girl relationship, as these characters develop into what could be a tender love story, but Brittnay's love for Artie stands in the way. Stay tuned.

Let's talk about Puck and Lauren. This is fast becoming my favorite Glee coupling. Lauren Zizes is brilliantly torturing sexy Puck by making him wait and want whatever it is she is selling. And it's working! Last night she decides that she wants fame, fortune a reality TV show and a fragrance and they way to get that fame is through a sex tape, a la Kim Kardashian and Pamela and Tommy Lee. Puck can hardly believe his good fortune, and all he can think about is "motor boating those twins". While plotting their cinematic triumph, they are approached by Holly who shares with them the fact that they are minors who could be arrested for child pornography if a sex tape were released. Talk about a buzz kill.

Then there's Blaine and Kurt. In their Dalton Academy hangout coffe shop, Sue shows up with some Regionals info. She tells the boys that McKinnley is hitting the sex factor for Regionals and Kurt and Blaine decide to up the Warbler's sexy stakes. Not very convincingly. Blaine compares Kurt's attempts at "sexy" as looking like he has gas pains. Blaine decides to tell Kurt's dad Burt that Kurt needs Sex Ed stat! In a wonderful moment for TV, Burt awkwardly but lovingly, has "the talk" with Kurt and tells him he matters. Great TV right there.

The Celibacy Club, complete with new member Noah Puckerman, decide to perform for the Glee Club , "Afternoon Delight" with an under utilized John Stamos at the drums. When Holly discovers that Emma thinks an afternoon delight is a dessert, she agrees to meet with Emma and Carl to discuss their sexual issues. (Cuz Holly's a sex therapist who teaches Spanish and algebra??) We then learn that Carl and Emma have yet to consummate their marriage. Holly drops the big bomb when she asks Emma, "Do you still have feelings for Will Schuster?" Emma can only reply that her feelings are complicated, sending Carl to a hotel.

The episode ends with Holly and Shue saying goodbye and the sexual tension here is so thick you can feel it. Then it happens...Holly gives in and tells Will, "I know a lot about sex but maybe it's time I learn about romance." Shuster has the line of the night, as he grasps Holly, and Rhett Butler-esquely dips her, then whispers to her before kissing her, "I am an excellent educator."

Steaming hot! and now I gotta go take a cold shower.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Ridiculous? This Is For The Birds

He's baaaacck...

Animal Planet has a new show entitled, "Taking on Tyson" and it's not about the Iron Mike we have come to know. It's a kinder, gentler Tyson. It's Mike Tyson, the competitive pigeon racer.

In the immortal words of Mike Tyson himself, "That's ridiculous."

"The first thing I ever loved in my life was a pigeon," he said. Legend has it that Tyson got into the boxing game at the tender age of 11 when a neighborhood bully killed one of his beloved pigeons. Now a washed up but not washed out ex-champion, Mike Tyson has taken up pigeon racing for this new chapter in his life. Cue the Rocky 5 opening sequence, where this real life story parallels the fifth installment of Stallone's Rocky story. Sort of.

Pigeon racing, which is popular on the rooftops of New York, sends pigeons out into the Pennsylvania skies, marked with electronic bracelets which time their departures and arrivals. Tyson is the fresh, tattooed, faced rookie who has a veteran pigeon racer/coach to show him the ropes, and the veterans of the sport are not one bit intimidated by this Mike Tyson.

Part docu-drama, part sport, this six part series brings Iron Mike back to his childhood roots in Brooklyn, where Tyson says there are more than a few bad memories. Clean and sober for years, Tyson seems to have found happiness amongst his beloved birds. "If I'm lucky enough to die an old man, I'm gonna have birds," Tyson says.

Which is just so ridiculous. Unless you live in Mikes world.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Epic Fail

Oh boy, do I have a story for you.

So I'm reading the Boston Herald yesterday and I read this:

North End restaurateur Nick Varano is heading to the small screen with a new show on New England Sports Network. The charismatic Strega owner is hosting an opening casting call tonight for a co-host/reporter from 8 to 11 p.m. at Strega Waterfront.

So why the auditions? “None of my friends are good-looking enough,” Varano quipped. Produced by Dirty Water TV productions, “The Strega Life with Nick Varano” will air once a month on NESN starting in early April. “It’s going to be like a variety type show,” Varano said.

So I let this marinate in my mind for most of the morning, I then ask some of the people I work with what they think. You know, like if I'm too old for this at this point in my life and stupid self deprecating crap like that. I gotta tell you that as much as I love being the center of attention, I really don't love being the center of attention.

I was surprised by what I heard. Everyone was all over me like white on rice.

"Oh my God, You HAVE to do this!"
"Candy, this was made for you!"
"You're so gonna get this!"

Later in the day, one of my favorite clients came into my boutique. We were chatting and working together, and she said to me, "Candy, you need to be in the movies." (OK, just so you know, I am not blowing smoke up my own a**, she really said that) I then tell her about the audition, to which I receive the same reaction. Fans, gotta love them. Funny thing is I then started thinking maybe I should do this. My background is in journalism, I've been in front of the camera countless times, yeah, I can do this.

I put my plan into action and did my due diligence. I called the company and asked about the specifics, did some research on Mr. Varano, told my husband, who got a good chuckle out of it and then lent his support and got a good friend to come with me. We arrive at the audition location and I put my name on the list. I was surprised to see of hundred women there, 90% of them had head shots and resumes. I did not, but fueled by my new found rock star status, I didn't care. I was not one bit nervous or intimidated. I actually felt so in control and quietly confident that I barely recognized myself. I was completely in my own head, which was a triumph in itself.

We sat at the restaurant bar and waited until it was my turn to dance. When my time came, I walked into a room with about 25 other women. I was at the back end of the line, about five in from the end. They announced that for this round of auditions, we were to grab the mike, stand in front of the camera, say your name, say you "Live the Strega life" and tell a little bit about yourself and then turn to the judges and do it again.

I watched as almost all of the 20 women in front of me bombed, and began to feel the adrenaline pump through my veins. Suddenly I felt like a crack addict on a bad trip, and I wondered why that girl of quiet confidence who walked through the door minutes earlier had abandoned me like a criminal scrambling from police sirens. I needed to think fast and do something to make me stand out from the rest as the ladies before me were toppling like domino's. Then it came to me! I knew exactly what I was going to say that will make them remember me and I'm going to take a risk.

My turn came and I took the microphone, said hello to the judges, (one of which was none other than Rajon Rondo), and began my shtick. I started out strong, real strong, so I thought. I announced articulately that I "lived the Strega life", and that the Strega life was all about passion, food, fun and fashion, living life to the fullest.

Then I gave it to them, the line I was sure would make them remember me and get a chuckle out of them.

I said in my best Seacrest impression, "And I am the next American Idol."


The rest is a blur, because at that very moment I was revealed to be the poser that I was. I wasn't at all surprised that they didn't ask me to stay and I wondered why I hadn't gone with my original plan. I didn't tell them about my blog, my kids, my shop, my life, and I realized I left them with very little other than the fact that I think I'm the next American Idol.

Epic fail.

In hindsight, I realized that I failed because I abandoned who I really am and I abandoned that quiet confidence of the girl that walked through the door. I should have repeated to them what became my mantra yesterday, before my fateful audition.

"You can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket."

And I got a valuable lesson. I realized that sometimes, the only real competition is within yourself.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Down Heff's Rabbit Hole

I was on by beloved elliptical machine this morning and the Charlie Sheen Train Wreck update spewed forth the latest across my TV screen. Seems his 23 month old twin boys were yesterday removed from his home by authorities. But that's not really what this post is about. This post is about family. I thought about Charlie Train Wreck and his goddesses whom he calls his family.

I, like everyone else, likened the Charlie Sheen situation to the legendary Hugh Hefner and his family. They even joked about it in Charile's 20/20 interview. I then realized that Hef blazed that goddess trail years ago, and we can assume he did it somewhat drug free. Hef built an empire on goddesses and got married and had babies. He smoked cigars and slept with women and kept on making nudie magazines and money and no one slapped restraining orders on him, took his children or forced him into rehab.

He just went on being head of his family, living in his mansion. We even watched it on reality TV with the "Girls Next Door". Who doesn't really know who Kendra Wilkinson or Holly Madison is? All this and Hef kept his cool head. He lived and bedded the goddesses and nobody said a word. No media tirades, we are assuming no drug addictions, and no porn stars. Hef managed to make soft porn socially acceptable and in the process became a mogul. Doesn't this make him the original rock star?

And his family? Hef took care of his family. Who's to say what the definition of a family should be? Same gender, same race, 2 or 3 people, it makes no difference if it works for them, consenting adults. Put children and drugs in the mix and you've got a whole different story. When it comes to taking care of family and business, maybe Sheen should maybe take a page out of the Hugh Hefner Prime Of His Life Handbook. Yeah, and stop proclaiming his Adonis DNA and his F-16 Fighter status. He needs to fall down Hef's rabbit hole.

See the thing about Hef is like I always say, "Hef never thought he was better than anybody else, he just knew that nobody was better than him."

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Unrest In Peace

A quick peek at all the news that's out there today reveals s a lot of unrest. It's everywhere you look. There's the unrest in Egypt. There's unrest in Lybia and in Mexico City the drug cartels are bonding together to resist capture. Here in the US, Charlie Sheen is babbling and manic-ly proclaiming his rock star status while Lindsay Lohan has commenced on her own "Unrest-full" press tour.

I read yesterday that although there is unrest in the world we live in, Americans are more interested in who won an Oscar and whatever words last came out of Charlie Sheen's mouth.

Why? Because we can. Because our forefather's fought many a famous battle of unrest to ensure that we had certain freedoms from political dictators and oppressive governments. So we can indulge in frivolity, in the privacy of our own computers, if we so choose.

In Beijing, the Chineese people are uprising against authoritarian rule, only to be met with police force and imprisonment. In Yemen, thousands of protesters took to the streets to protest against their president, possibly hoping for the same kind of outcome as Egypt. Yet, in LA, they are calling a press conference to announce the new cast of Dancing With the Stars.

And somehow, it's OK because that's just how we, as Americans, roll. Detroit Free Press journalist Mitch Albom wrote about how the Kardashian's made $65 million dollars last year without doing anything of particular importance. Not one of them found a cure for cancer, wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning essay, solved an economic crisis or contributed anything of civic value to this country. They simply perfected the art of having an audience and we bought it, all $65 million hooks, lines and sinkers.

There is a battle going on in this country too, over public vs private workers and the unions that represent them. The battle hymn of the so called "working man" can be heard throughout the land.

I just hope it's not loud enough to drown out tonite's 20/20 episode with Charlie Sheen.