It's A Really Good Friday

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"? 

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter. 

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." 

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven. 

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"? The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third blonde continued... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/easterjokes/threeblondesjoke.html

Happy Easter Bloggers! Here's to spring!

It's A Good Friday

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Hey bloggers! This is the end of a crazy, busy week and the start of the Easter holiday weekend.

I searched the interwebs for the best Easter humor I could muster up and I found some great ones! Consider this my little bag of Easter jelly beans to you!!!!

Happy weekend peeps! Have an EGGScelent holiday........

Let The Sunshine In

• With such a warm and gorgeous, sunny Saturday, I was struck by how many of us were "amazed" by the warm weather. It has been so cold here for so long that we forgot what good weather felt like....

• Frick and Frack spent the weekend together in NYC. Yes, I know they are old enough to handle it without Mama and the fact that I called and texted them both six thousand times has nothing to do with the fact that they ignored 90 percent of those calls and texts. Does it?

• Busy week for me. I have one of the biggest days ever at The Candy Bar on Wednesday..,wish me luck!

• I can hardly believe it has been a year since the Boston Marathon bombings. This week the news media of the world will descend on our fair city to tell the amazing stories of the victims and survivors. I pray God will keep the city safe and watch over us as we commemorate the tragic events of last year. I personally believe that this year's Boston Marathon will probably be one of the safest places in the world to be during the race. 

• I baked two incredible pies for Easter yesterday. Jus sayin...

• Looking forward to seeing "The Other Woman". Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Brooklyn Decker all team up to bring down Leslie Mann's cheating husband. I have a personal interest in infidelity since I have experienced it first hand. Cheating men are scum and deserve everything bad that happens to them because karma is a bitch and you don't want to piss off a bitch who is pissed off. I love it when Hollywood dramatizes the sweet vindication!

• Nurse Jackie on Showtime is BACK....speaking of bitches who you don't want to piss off..

A Very Good Friday

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

" I feel terrible,"! He explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." 

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..........."Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

This Just In....

Ok, so I never do this.
As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever done this, but there's a first time for everything.

I posted a whole different Easter post earlier today. Typically whatever I post, I post and it becomes my message for the day. Scroll down and you will see that this is post two of the day, and this time I couldn't help myself.

My sister just forwarded this to me and this was EXACTLY what I was looking for in my previously stated desire to share with you all a little naughty Easter wish. Aunt Anna'a cute also, so make sure you scroll down and listen to her too.

Happy Good Friday Bloggers!

NSFW Easter Wishes

Happy Easter Bloggers!

So I was searching the Internet this morning looking for a dirty little Easter ditty to share with you, and I gotta tell you, it wasn't easy.

But in my searches, I think I found something that won't disappoint.

This gem came up under dirty Easter jokes, and God bless Aunt Anna, she's so cute, she even cracks herself up!! This one is entitled, "Aunt Anna's Dirty Jokes-Easter Italian Style" and she's just my kind of girl! Stay with it for the entire 2:25, as Anna shares two jokes with her family.

Happy Easter to you and yours from Candy's Daily Dandy Bloggers, and may you enjoy the holiday making your loved ones smile.

Monday, Monday

It's a Monday welcome back and I hope all my blogger buddies had a great Easter Sunday!

It's always difficult getting back into the groove, and since I hosted my family yesterday, I'm exhausted!!

So here's a few tidbits I threw together for Monday:

• Finally, some Red Sox wins!! Yay! It's about time fellas, let's keep it going. And a Celtics sweep. So what if it's the lowly Knicks, we beat Carmelo and I say bring it to the boys of Miami! And what about those Bruins? Instead of being on the brink of elimination, they are one game away from winning the series.



• The weather is slowly getting good. I think we might have reached in the high 70's yesterday. Rejoice!



• After a stellar week of sun, fun and some R&R, I rewarded myself with a feast of bounty yesterday. It was sooo good.



• I'm all caught up on my Nurse Jackie episodes and all set to watch tonite! That bitch is crazee!



• Gotta do inventory this week., UGH.



• Frack gave up soda for lent and I swear he practically took a bath in it yesterday.



• Been using a great product to extend my Florida tan a bit. Model Co. Tan Extender. It's a fabulous, gradual self tan product that actually gives your already sun tanned skin a glow and nourishes and tones the skin. I recommend you use it alone or when you are already tan. It works gradually and will not streak. Good stuff, and yes, it is available at The Candy Bar.



• I reconnected with that Blogger/Twitter extraordinaire, Dr. Zibbs, over the week. Seems he's a Twittering big shot now. So great to talk to him, that Zibsy sure is crazee and it's nice to know he's still at the top of his game.

So that's it for now bloggers. I hope you are all having a good Monday.

Happy Easter...A Really Bad Poem

I wish for you joy and peace on Easter Sunday.
Enjoy, because soon enough it will be back to work on Monday.
Let's color eggs and stuff big baskets.
And could you tell me what the heck is "a tisket, a tasket"?

I hope your hunny gives you a chocolate bunny,
and inside stuffs some serious ca$h money.
Peeps are yummy, sticky and super fattening.
I hope the rise in sugar does not cause any "heart attack-ening".

Forget the calories, sugar, and fat
because Easter candy is where it's at.
Who care's if the kids get pissed when you eat thier stuff.
Screw em'! Those spoiled brats, they get enough.

In the end, let's be thankful to enjoy the day with family and friends handy.

To you and yours, a very Happy Easter from Candy's Daily Dandy.

Wordless Wednesday...Sort of

The Easter Bunny at home:


This is a re-post, so sue me.

The Stories Of Holy Week

Yesterday was Palm Sunday which marks the start of Holy Week for the Catholic church. I'm not quite sure what it is about Holy Week, but it always seems to lights my inner fire of religious spiritualism. I think it may have something to do with the many stories of Holy Week which follow Jesus on the last week of his life.

I relish the annual Saturday night before Easter Sunday airing of "The Ten Commandments" and I find myself attending the masses of the Easter Triduum, which begins with Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I may not go to mass all year, but you can almost bet I will be in attendance during Holy Week. I yearn to be part of the tradition.

I love a good story, and as a story teller myself, I find these stories to be inspiring. The reason I tell you this today is because I read a story this morning, written by a wonderful story teller, that touched me. It was short story, but it's length made it none-the-less important.

"Eric was 87 the day we met, and the story he shared remains a sacred trust, which is exactly what he hoped it would be."

"Tonight would have been his favorite night of the year, the beginning of Passover, commemorating the Israelites’ exodus from bondage under Pharaoh."

"When it was time to go, Eric reached for this writer’s hand and said, “You don’t know what it means to someone like me to tell my story to someone like you, because now I know that when I’m gone there’ll be one more person who heard it from an eyewitness.”

As I said, it's a short story, so if you have a moment go here and read it and Eric's story will have been told to one more person.

In honor of the story tellers everywhere.

I'm Doomed To Hell

So while I was on vacation in Disney, I spotted a guy with a massive smudge of dirt on his forehead and found myself unable to look away for a few moments.

What I quickly realized was that it was Ash Wednesday and that I, yet again, missed the boat on an important religious ritual. BUT, since I was on vacation, I said...F**K-IT! and decided to face that particular music when I got home. Well, after a wonderful steak dinner last Friday night, I remembered that that I had forgotten that it was the Lenten Season and that I needed to make my yearly sacrifice and TRY to observe the archaiac religious rituals I had learned as a child.

I have decided to give up cursing, cussing and the use of profanity until Easter Sunday which is ABSOLUTELY REDONK...but I maysuprise myself and get some brownie points for effort.

As I said, I'm doomed to hell, and in case your wondering, this is what any and all confrontations in my world will be like for the next few weeks.




F*#K, I'm screwed.....