It was a whirlwind, but that's exactly how I like it.

• Frick's party was a great time. The kids, the family, the neighbors, even the dogs enjoyed themselves. Buddy was caught more than once stealing someone's plate of food off their table.The weather was great, we had a huge Texas style BBQ and lots of Fred Flintstones, carnivore, meat eating took place. It was a great way to cap off Frick's high school career.

• The Celtics LOST. That sucked big time and was not a great way to cap off the party, but life goes on. I still love those boys! They have a hell of a lot of heart and soul and managed to give us playoff excitement almost every year. The difference I see? You gotta make baskets. Plain and simple and if you are not making clutch baskets in the clutch, you go home early. Go Green.

• I spent the entire day yesterday cleaning my house from top to bottom. I'm afraid to admit this, but I kinda liked it. As much as I dreaded starting the process, once I got going I realized that, Hey, I'm good at this. I went crazy too. I vacuumed, moped, wiped down, broke down tables and boxes. I filled trash bags and tried my best to recycle responsibly and when it was over, it was nice to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. But don't get me wrong here: Next time I'm hiring a cleaning crew. Don't judge.

• Fire is good. I love our fire pit. We are beginning to make loads of great memories made out there and I love the fact that Frick and Frack and their friends are coming along to join in. I have learned some new things about my kids and their friends out there, just "conversating".(I made that word up) My parents even sat down with us Saturday night and we had an all out, four alarm, fun, family fire pit. My dad was so comfortable, he even took his shoes off. Good times.

• Change is a coming. I can almost taste it and I'm wondering if it's appetizing or not. Stay tuned.

Special Is As Special Does

I had the WORST day yesterday. I mean the worst.

It started out bad and got worse as the day progressed. It wasn't just one thing but a culmination of a lot of things and I was quietly, secretly trying to hold it together. Then, the biggest hit of all came and it was like a tidal wave of bad about the one thing that you can get me with 10 out of 10 times. My kids. And this time it wasn't just one, it was both.

As you know, we have been in celebratory mode around here with Frick graduating and all, and it all culminates this weekend with a big, blow out, $$oiree for her on Saturday. It's the party she never had, but I think she deserves and I made sure to "order it up from the caterer" (this will make sense in a minute) Then the blow came and it left me sick to my stomach.

I'm still in limbo over my feelings, and as I sit here today and wait for the rental company (that there is no turning back on), to come and set up the massive tent, tables, chairs and dance floor, I have to ask myself, "What the hell are you doing?". Then like a little grace from God, just when I had asked for it and needed it, it came to me in my morning paper. It's not really the answer, because there is no answer, but it's a statement. A mission statement to all those parents who are feeling like I am right now.

A local English teacher addressed the students at commencement last weekend and his speech entitled, "You're  Not Special" put it into perspective for me. He said what needed to be said to all of us parents and students and overachievers who think our shit doesn't stink. Boy are we wrong.

Basically it was a much needed bitch slap to all of us who get caught up in the race for perfection.

"You are not special. You are not exceptional.

Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you... you’re nothing special."

Was my cape really that obvious?

What the heck? It was like this guy was talking directly to me and his words were never truer. He did what needed to be done and he told it like it needs to be told. As a parent in the community, an educator and mentor, he gave it to them straight, just like the real world undoubtedly will. 

"Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped. Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie. Yes, you have. And, certainly, we’ve been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs. Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet. Why, maybe you’ve even had your picture in the Townsman! And now you’ve conquered high school... and, indisputably, here we all have gathered for you, the pride and joy of this fine community, the first to emerge from that magnificent new building...

But do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not."

Guilty as charged and justly so, because we may have taught our over scheduled, over achieving children that it's more about the medal and less about the race. He then goes on to encourage the graduates to pursue a more fulfilling life, one that puts the focus on hard work and achieving. Because Frack's three week trip to Uganda this summer NEEDS to be about the children they are helping and the school they are building, not the resume he is building. The irony is not lost on me. 


“The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer.”


Amen to that. Because I will certainly remember it this Saturday as I'm cutting the check to the caterer. 

This Is Now

I can't believe it's finally here. This is now.

This is that day, when you give birth to your child and you look at her with hope and joy in your eyes, this is one of the days you think of; someday she will graduate.

This is the day I have looked at from a distance maybe a thousand times but never really saw it until today, never really felt it until today.

This is the day she has been looking forward to forever and I reminded her, with a tear in my eye, to stop and take a moment and breathe it all in.

I can't believe I have a child that is graduating. My child, the one I coddled and took care of and wiped her nose and scratched her back and soothed her fears. Today she graduates from me too, and the woman before me is powerful and bright. She will illuminate the world just by being in it.

Today we celebrate her work ethic and her determination to succeed. It's all culminated in the pomp and circumstance of ceremony. I'm so proud to be her mom, today and everyday. She is a gift.

This is the day.
This is now.