Miss 'Merica

So our newly crowned Miss America thinks that Tom Brady is a cheater? Actually-she said that she thought that My Tommy was a cheater if there was a question, but the media blew that way out of context. What she did say when asked if Brady should be held accountable for deflating footballs was,

"Did he cheat? That’s a really good question, I’m not sure," Miss Georgia, 21, replied. "I think I’d have to be there to see the ball and to feel it to make sure if it was deflated or not deflated, but if there was any question there then yes, I think he cheated. If there was any question to be had I think that he definitely cheated and he should have been suspended for that. That’s not fair."

The social media backlash was not kind. Dumb? Maybe, but Miss America 2015 Betty Cantrell's answer is not the dumbest thing a beauty pageant contestant has ever said. 

Here are some of the greatest highlights over the years:

Jeanie Anderson, Miss Philippines 2001

Question: "If you could be beautiful and not so smart, or brilliant and not so beautiful, what would you be and why?"
Answer: "Well, I'd rather choose to be beautiful, um because, to be beautiful it's natural. But being smart you can learn...you can learn, um a lot of things...a lot of things from the experience...you can learn from a lot of things being smart."

Smart..not her strong suit. 

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007

Question: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"
Answer: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children".

Poor thing. She will never-and I mean never-live that down. 

 Miss Venezuela Irene Sofia Esser Quintero at Miss Universe 2012
Question: "If you could make a new law, what would it be? And explain why."
Answer: "I think that any leys (read laws) there are in Constitution or in life, are already made. I think that we should have, uh, a straight way to go in our similar, or, eh, in our lives as is this. For example, I'm a surfer, and I think that the best wave that I can take is the wave that I wait for it. So please do our only, eh, law that we can do. Thank you, Vegas!"

Talk about hanging loose...

We don't know when or where this Junior Miss pageant occurred, but when asked, "What is the most important event in our nation's history?" she responded, "In my opinion, Pearl Harbor, which occurred on December 7, 1941, is the most significant event in our nation's history because…because it ended the Great Depression and it forced them into the World War II…and…our country experienced patriotism and unity." At least she got the date right.

And I'm sure she was very proud of her AT LEAST coherent answer, though not accurate. 

Melissa Powell, Miss Utah 2013

She was asked about how women are continuing to earn less than men in America, and what she thinks that means for our society.

"How to create jobs right now, that is the biggest problem right now, and I think especially the men are seen as leaders of this and so we need to figure out how to create education better so we can solve this problem," Powell answered.

I have to cut these ladies at least a little slack. These are some serious high pressure situations and let's face it, they are not on that stage to "change the world" with their minds. But they know they are going to be asked a question involving current events, so it might help to pick up a newspaper once in  while. 

Or squeeze a football....  

Spirit Animal

I'm not one to buy into all that Facebook crap about being a super fan of the Brady Bunch and who your Disney princess is. But one night my friend and I were talking about your spirit animal and what that means.

So I googled it and took the quiz.

What did I find out? I found out that I was the Wolf. Sounded reasonable because it tells me that the wolf has a "stealth hunting ability as well as strength and stamina". Family comes first, says the wolf, who forms deep connections with close friends and family members. Also very true. The Wolf is loyal, devoted and passionate which is also me. OK-so I decide to blog about the spirit animal today and I pull up the quiz to read about the Wolf.  

Then what do I do? You guessed it? I freakin took the quiz again.

I got the swan. Huh? I'm not the wolf? I think it's a mistake although the Swan spirit animal has attributes I can relate to. So I Google another, different quiz and I get the Tiger. WTF? Which am I? Now I'm confused as shit because the Tiger also has spirit animal qualities that are totally me. I take it again, because determination is one of my many qualities. This time I get the Wolf. The wolf has 2x going for it.

Now my friend stops by and takes the quiz after I tell him about the mix up. What happens? He gets the Owl. I tell him to take the other quiz to see if it's all a scam, and he gets the Owl again. Now I'm pissed! I make him take it one more time and BAM...he gets the Owl. 3x he's the Owl and he wins the consistency quota.

So I decide to take it again...Bad decision because now I get the Owl! It must be wrong so I walk away from it for an hour or so...Then I take it again...and I get the Owl AGAIN. Now I've decided that it's all a scam and what the hell do I care about a stupid animal quiz?

Bottom line? I'm the Wolf with Owl tendencies since I got them both 3X.      
OK? So now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled lives.
Aren't you glad I figured that out?                                                                                                                                            

What? Wait? Again?

Am I the only one who is shocked by the latest Tiger Woods news that his break up with Lindsay Vonn was due to the fact that he cheated with a "faceless, nameless, woman"?

I think I am.

I had to Google the news yesterday because I hadn't heard about it on the gossip pages of a trash magazine. That's surprising, don't you think? On the contrary, I actually believed the official statement put out by Lindsay's people that the breakup was due to the fact that they both "lead incredibly hectic lives that force us to spend a majority of our lives apart". It made sense to me. What a fool I am. Or maybe what a fool Lindsay is, but I was sure this time was going to be different. He knew the world would be watching, and they were. apparently he was seen with the woman and decided to "come clean" (no pun intended) to Lindsay about it.

A Tiger never changes his spots...does he?

A good life lesson for all of us.

Friday Funny

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!" 

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker." Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car" he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" 

The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber." I have to laugh every time I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least 5 boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!" 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/random/blonde411.html