It's Britney, Bi*ch

Why am I writing about Britney today? Because today her new album Femme Fatale drops and because she was all over my beloved Good Morning America. I actually worked out this morning with Britney.

I feel like I really want to hate her, but for some reason I can't. She has managed to stay relevant and continues to keep her hold in our culture.She's made big mistakes in the public eye and lived to tell about them. I watched her performance this morning and I have to admit, her new single, "Hold It Against Me" has some serious "sticking in your head" power. I keep waiting for her to bomb big time, but she hasn't. And I also have to admit at 29 years old, and selling over 100 million albums to date, the girl is a bona fide pop icon.

Say what you will about her. She of the gargantuan mental melt down in front of the world, this Phoenix emerged from the ashes more powerful and popular than ever. You just have to respect that. You may not respect the choices she has made in her personal life, but you can't deny that her mom and dad stepped in and saved her life and that her two little boys still have their mama. Whatever that is worth.

This Britney is a little slower and not as crisp on stage, but she still rocks and the people love her. Suffice it to say that she's not going anywhere soon. She may not be the classiest pop star nor the brightest pop star on the block, but she's a draw and she still sells. I'm also sure that some of her new album will migrate it's way onto my ipod.

Britney and I were born on the same day, so in a way we are kindred spirits from "the day of larger than life" (our birthday December 2). And quietly I'll be rooting for her, because I love a good story of triumph and hers is one for the record books. That's right, It's Britney, Bitch, and she's back.

Sex On A Stick

Oooh baby, baby.

"It's a Britney Spears sex riot!" Sue Sylvester shouts as she pulls the fire alarm on McKinnley High's Glee club performance for the high school assembly.

And it was.

Rachel in a half shirt, braids and school girl skirt singing, "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Brittany in her sex slave costume, gyrating all over the screen, (the girl is an amazing dancer) with a massive python draped over her shoulders, and the Glee club and Mr. Shuester performing a super sexed up version of, "Toxic" in the school gym, causing the aforementioned sex riot. And Jacob the Jew?? Creepy at best.

Not only did Sue Sylvester catch the Jewish Afro King stroking the salami, naked, in the library while watching a video of Rachel, but after he spies Rachel in the belly bearing, school girl look, he offers to kill his parents and then give Finn his house for Rachel. This episode was supposed to be about self awareness and expression, but it somehow turned out to be more about sex and fantasy. Is this Brittney Spear's legacy?

John Stamos is introduced as Emma's boyfriend-dentist and while working on their teeth, he inadvertently takes the kids on a nitrous oxide induced fantasy world that apparently is dominated by Brittney Spears. Cool, together and drop dead handsome, Carl (Stamos) has Shue worried about loosing Emma. And Shue turns into a complete turn off. EWWW, Shue. I thought he was so much cooler than that. I actually threw up a little in my mouth when he and Emma were sitting in his ridiculous, new bright yellow corvette he bought while singing, "Sailing"...

Artie and Finn both get what they want, which is back on the football team and Quinn does not get what she wants, which is back with Finn. Surprisingly, she formed an alliance with Rachel only to trick him to see if he would bite. I find it hard to believe that the once "untouchable" Quinn would put herself in that position, but it was somewhat endearing.

Hot, steamy, sexy Glee last night was not one of my favorite episodes, but it somehow managed to answer some major plot questions as well as turn up the heat in the room. Can't you just see Britney Spears? At home, viewing the tribute episode with her family, a bucket of fried chicken at her feet (she is country, after all), drum stick in hand, wiping her oily, free hand on the front of her shirt, "See mama, look I told you, I'm so sexy!!!"