Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Like Sands Through The Hourglass

These are the days of my life...

With my mid-life birthday, FAST approaching, I seem to be aging gracefully, yet begrudgingly. I never thought I would say that, but I think I just did. Begrudgingly, I find a new line on my face or a new sun spot from a terrific Caribbean vacation which is just wrinkle in my time that only serves to gives away my biological age.

Do I feel old?

No, never. I still posses a child-like optimism that I hope I never loose, it being one of my favorite qualities. It is that hope and wonder that gets me through the tougher times, mixed with that sparkle of defiance that makes me who I am. A VERY wise man once told me, "You dance on the knives's edge, Candace. I like that about you." I like you too, and I guess a sexy tango on the edge of a butcher's knife isn't a bad way to go through life. I believe that anything is possible, and you'll never know unless you try. "The determination of a bulldog, she's got," my dad says because I never give up. Why should I? I was taught to reach for the stars because if I don't someone else will.

Yet I somehow find myself more content and happier than I have ever been. Older than dirt, and somewhat at peace with who I have become. Is this the maturity that we all strive for, or am I just too old to give a good rat's ass? My family are just about the only thing that matters to me and I have resigned myself to the fact that at my age, my children have comprised my greatest body of work. My PHD in parenting, so to speak, a Doctorate in child rearing for the world to see. And that's good enough for me, as I'm proud of who they are. I'm not done just yet. There are still a few more years left to teach the lessons I so badly blundered. To be there to pick up the pieces, if the need be. To be the bus driver and point out the sites along the way.

Then, it will be my turn. Right? The question is; will I be too old by then to fulfill my life's expectations?

Who really knows? Wisdom has a funny way of making it's presence known when you least expect it. Can I make my mark on the world after 40 and fulfill my career dreams?

Maybe. Only time will tell.
But so far, it's been a hell of a ride trying.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Hippie Lettuce

Some people are just hippies.

It's a fact, and it's quite possible that being a hippie is as much about "hippie-ism" being a lifestyle choice, as it is an innate personality characteristic. Some people are pure Bohemian's at heart and the free-spirited hippie speaks to their soul. And if the hippie is in your soul, then the hippie lettuce can't be too far behind. The two go hand in hand. Like the Urban Dictionary says, "weed to hippies is as like lettuce to health conscious, blue blooded, tax paying Americans. Consumed daily it keeps your system clean."

So why should we crucify Willie Nelson for being a hippie?

77 year old international country star, Willie Nelson was arrested on Friday when 6 ounces of marijuana was found on his tour bus and Nelson could face up to six months in jail. Are you kidding me??? Tell me that 6 ounces of Hippie Lettuce on a tour bus full of geriatric, aging musicians is a direct threat to our public safety. And six ounces? That was most definitely Willie's personal stash, of that I can be sure. Heck, here in MA in our up-tight, Puritanical society, if you get caught with an ounce or less it is punishable by a civil fine of $100.00. I'm sure Willie had no intent to distribute that six ounces. It's not like they were roaming the highways looking for middle schools to stop at and sell joints to the kiddies.

For God's sake, leave the man alone and let him just be the hippie he has always been. Sure it's illegal to be in possession of marijuana in most places in our country, but do we enforce this issue on a 77 year old, who is carrying a minimal amount of contraband on his tour bus? Is this really a battle we want to choose? I would bet that Wille is an old dog who's not interested in learning any new tricks and was just as happy to pay his $2500.00 fine and be on his way. Besides, Willie has never made it a secret that he "dallies" in the Hippie Lettuce. That's like DEA agents waiting out on the open road to stop a Snoop Dog tour bus. That's pay dirt, for sure.

Suffice it to say that sending Wille to jail for 180 days and making him "cook and clean like everybody else", in my opinion, is a waste of time and tax payers money. I think Wille and the boys on the bus should have been given a strict warning, his personal stash of six ounces confiscated, and sent on their way. I think the arrest was ridiculous for a 77 year-old international superstar or any other 77 year-old. I'm sure there are proponents of the legalization of marijuana who would agree with me. And I'm sure there are opponents of the legalization of marijuana who would be calling for my head right about now.

My point is that hippie's will always be hippie's, and the hippie lettuce will always be part of the culture. But crucify Wille cuz he's holding?

Must have been a slow week at the police station.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday

So today is Black Friday and as a retailer in this great country we live in I'm hoping today is much like the picture above at The Candy Bar. Odds are that it won't be like that picture above because I'm not offering any give-aways, and by that I mean, I'm not giving away merchandise for redonk deals.

I am, however, offering 25% off B.Kamins Skin care when you buy 3 or more B. Kamins products during the month of November. Gotta give the people something, right? I'm hoping that you will all take advantage of Small Business Saturday which is tomorrow. American Express has offered to give back a $25.00 credit to every card member who shops locally on Saturday. My only problem is that I don't take American Express in my store, but I still appreciate the media spotlight on local, small businesses like mine who help our economy to keep going.

So, if you are out over the weekend, stuffing some stockings instead of your face, think small and local, and come on down to The Candy Bar. We will take good care of you and your needs and if you don't want to go out and brave the crowds, give me a call at the store and I will ship anything you buy free of shipping charges.
Have a happy and safe holiday weekend and Merry holiday shopping to you all.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy ThanksGLiving

Bullets for a Thanksgiving edition of the Daily Dandy and not all Glee......spread around just like side dishes on your plate.
  • So here's what you missed on Glee.....Glee clubbers at McKinnley tackled some seriously relevant and topical teen issues last night. Bullying and gay bashing were addressed in McKinnley school principal Sue Sylvester's office, where she took a staunch "no tolerance" policy and expelled the bullying student. But not before she bashed gay student Kurt by calling him "Lady". After Kurt protested, she softened her gay bashing by dubbing him with a more tame, "Porcelain".

  • Kurt's dad and Finn's mom got married and the glee club was the band. A righteous ceremony production ensued and Finn serenaded his family and new brother Glee style, with "Just The Way You Are." Everybody danced and a few tears of joy were shed.

  • I bet you though I was gonna say that "Just The Way You Are" was my download pick of the night, but you are wrong. Did you see Mr. Shue doing his Buble impression during "Sway with Me?" Dead sexy...I'm downloading that one pronto.

  • Baby won the Silver Ball trophy. Dancing With The Stars newly crowned champion, Jennifer Grey took home the coveted prize and nobody shot out their TV and held a standoff with police!!

  • I'm not cooking tomorrow and I'm not happy about it. My family will be celebrating at a club. The nice thing is that we will all be together and no one has to do any dishes, but Thanskgiving is about being at HOME with your family and unbuttoning your belt buckle just a tad while putting your feet up on the couch. My kids are pissed, so I bought a turkey and I will cook it tonite so we can have leftovers. Besides, My Tommy is playing tomorrow and I'd rather be in front of the TV instead of in front of the stove. For that, I am thankful.

  • Come to think of it, there are so many things and reasons I am thankful this year. What are you thankful for?

  • I'm also thankful to be part of this blogger community. I wish you and all of yours a healthy, happy and safe Thanksgiving.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tremendous Tuesday

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house.

'Talking Dog for Sale'

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young...I wanted to help the government so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy was amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."

Monday, November 22, 2010

What Would Bambi Do?

So recently, it has come to my attention that My Guy reads my blog more than I thought he did. What I thought was that he rarely or never reads it so I was mistaken. Last week he told me he had a topic for my blog, which I thought was great because as you all know, there are days we all search for inspiration for blog topics. Anyhow, he went on to give me his idea, which is really more of a debate, and I immediately dismissed him, with my quick rhetoric and a definitive answer. He, of course had an intelligent rebuttal and a spirited debate ensued. I, clearly for the one side, he for the other.

The next day, over dinner he said, "I see you didn't take my advice and post my blog topic." Oh, so you've been reading my blog, I thought. Interesting. I told him that although I thought the debate was pretty cut and dry on the PRO for my side, I agreed that I would give him my forum to house his debate today.

So here goes: And please don't hold back bloggers. Let's show the real world how articulate and convincing us bloggers can be. (and immature and crude and funny too)

What's the difference between the Harvard professor, up in a tree stand killing innocent animals in the wild, and what Michael Vick did with the dogs? Why is one socially acceptable and one is criminal?

I will monitor all responses and post my stance on this issue later today.
Make me proud, peeps.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Caption Creature

Please someone caption this hot mess so we can all justify the giggle and a chuckle.
Here's hoping the weekend does not get lost between the crack....s. hee hee!
Happy weekend bloggers!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Pop Culture Poop

Today my head is spinning with a whole lot of useless poop and I'm thinking about things that don't really matter in the big picture. Why do I do that? I'm intelligent enough to know that these things are not important, yet I still wonder about them.

Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria and now they are getting a divorce. It doesn't really have any bearing on things that really matter, like the Gulf oil spill clean up or world hunger, yet I can't help feeling awful for Eva. I'm even villanizing Tony Parker in my head and I don't even know the whole story. Apparently the whole celebrity obsessed world is villanizing him too, because I heard a woman on the radio say that when you cheat on your woman you loose, "hot points". So Parker lost some "hot points" with the public and some serious image points too. I'm also feeling a bit duped. (because its all about me) I thought they were such a cute couple who looked so in love. And now I'm thinking Tina Turner was right all along. What does love have to do with it when there is lust and text messaging?

Some people are up in arms because Bristol Palin has made it to the "Dancing With The Stars" final. They claim that Tea Party zealots have found a way to hack into the voting system to ensure that Bristol stays in the competition. Some guy in middle America even shot his TV with a shot gun because he was so frustrated that Bristol did NOT get booted off the show. Really? And I care about this because??? Yet, here I am wondering if the Tea Partier's are going to take Baby's trophy and give it to Bristol. I'll bet Levi Johnston is sorry he cheated on that. Could have racked up a ton of "hot points" with the public sitting in the audience week after week, smiling and pretending he was her proud baby daddy.

And I'm thinking these things.

After watching last night's episode of Glee, I'm thinking about Gwenneth Paltrow, singer? She played a substitute teacher who took over the glee club while Mr. Shue was sick and she was singing and dancing. Then I think about her new movie, which comes out next month, where she plays a country star who's just about ruined her career with drugs and alcohol. Singer? She's pretty good too. How does this new title for Gwenneth play out in my head? Actor, Mother, Activist, Singer??? Then she goes and steals the spotlight at the Country Music Awards last week. Poor Carrie Underwood, this was a golden opportunity to garner more Google search celebrity power points and Gwenneth went and crashed the party and stole her crown.

You see how my deranged mind works?

If I were a great philanthropist, or a famous economist, I would be thinking about ways to reduce our deficit or lower the unemployment rate. Or maybe what special interest group would benefit from an infusion of my cash. Instead I'm thinking about how Wills and Kate are going to afford a splendid wedding, on a mere $68 million dollar budget. The Queen's probably going to have to cancel the company Christmas party to pinch pennies or hock a few of the family jewels if she gets desperate enough.

Where is my mind these day?

While I can't claim to not being able to put together an articulate and intelligent response when having a serious conversation about global warming, the smart money is on the chance that during that all important discussion about world climate issues, I may interrupt to ask you what lipstick you are wearing.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Art Of The Hen Party

No Glee re-cap today, as I missed last night's episode because I threw a terrific hen party last night at my house. Throwing the proper hen party needs a few key elements, and it's quite simple really, if you incorporate them in the proper order.

For starters, you need to determine the hen party's reason.

  1. fun, drunkenness, party celebration

  2. food, drunkenness, shopping

Other than those reasons stated above, there is really no other IMPORTANT reason for a bunch of cackling hens to get together for a party. The first key ingredient is as follows, and if it is not a part of the equation, the hens will not follow: WINE. And lots of it. You boys like your brews and your lagers, we girls love the vino. Nothing makes us happier or warm and fuzzier.

*fellas-most definitely address your amorous significant other after a night out drinking wine with the girls.

Food would have to be second on the list. It's essential, but the hostess need not go crazy. Nuts, cheese & crackers, chips and dip and some sort of chocolate are all that is needed. The hens will graze, because they didn't eat dinner, because they knew they were coming to a party, and get tipsy while nibbling on finger foods. (all more reason to go home feeling a little frisky) I made a fabulous sugar-free Strawberry shortcake last night. It was a big hit.

Last there needs to shopping. Nothing satisfies a bunch of cackling hens than therapy. RETAIL THERAPY. There are jewelry parties, Tupperware parties, cook ware parties, handbag and accessories trunk shows, etc. The thrill of the get, is what makes up giddy with pleasure. Drink, eat, and shop, and I know I could die a happy woman. Throw in a small amount of gossip and your hen party is complete.

In the end the hens all go home to their coop, content and satisfied. Mission accomplished.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

It's so true. Just like the song says, sometimes you just wanna go where everybody knows your name. Over the weekend, my brother was inducted into the little, tiny, hometown high school we grew up in, Athletic Hall of Fame for his play on the ice hockey team during his tenure at good old, WHS. When I heard about the honor, I told him I wanted to go to the ceremony and bring my family. At first I thought it would be kind of ridiculous for all of us to be there (my husband and kids) at my brother's evening, but I decided I didn't care because I was so proud of him. No one in my family has ever received an honor like that, and although our town was about as big as a minute, I didn't want to miss it.

When I arrived at the function hall, I was struck by how many people were there and by how many people I knew. Everybody was well dressed, and there were lots of other families there as well, proud to support their inductee's. The evening began with a cocktail hour, which was like a mini-reunion. It was even better than your class reunion, because there were people who were friends of friend's brothers, sisters, cousins and family and people of all ages from our small town. And, yes, everybody knew my name, and I theirs. It gave me a happy, warm and fuzzy feeling. It was a blast, introducing Frick and Frack to everybody. Immediately you got the feeling that this was important to all those involved.

The ceremony, which was to induct 15 honorees that night, began with the first ever Lifetime Achievement award. A WHS graduate, Boston Globe Sports Writer, and author, was honored for not only her accomplishments in life, but for her athletic contributions while at WHS. She spoke of her memories, her coaches and the people she met and worked with at WHS that helped influence her life in a positive way. She, who has worked with the likes of Larry Bird and Magic Johnson co-authoring a book, was not name-dropping on this night. On this night, she humbly spoke about growing up in our town, "The home of Champions" and about the pride and the people who made her years at WHS special.

She asked the five women who she brought with her seated at her table, to please stand. She called them her "Ya Ya's" and spoke of how their high school friendships have endured over the years. She told a story about last year, they all turning 50, traveling together to the Grand Canyon, to ride donkeys into the enormous cavern to celebrate the milestone together. These friendships, these people, she said, have helped to shaped her into who she is today.

I guess my brother agreed. When it was his turn at the podium, he told a story about coaching his son's lacrosse team earlier this year. My brother, who now lives two towns over from the little town we grew up in, was coaching his son's team who just so happened to be playing the town of our childhood. "Of course I wanted to beat them," he said. As he was calling his team over to the side lines, he was clapping his hands together, mistakenly calling his son's team by the name of the town he had grown up in. The kids looked at him and corrected him sternly, "Coach, we are the other team," they said. He chuckled at his own gaffe. His response to them and the coach of the other team. "I guess I still bleed green and white." And everybody in that room that night understood exactly what he meant. The pride was palpable. He finished his speech with this, "I guess you can take the boy out of WHS, but you really can never take the WHS outta the boy."

Well said, and congrats to you big bro. Your family and your hometown couldn't be prouder of you.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Friday Funny

Overheard from my Big Brown Teamster making deliveries at my store yesterday:

"What kind of stories do Teamsters read to their kids at night?
Bedtime and a HALF stories."

Happy weekend and a half, bloggers.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bieste's Boys

Ok, so she's no Giselle.

In fact, she's not very feminine at all. But I would have say that when the Glee club's boys told Coach Bieste that she's pretty, I agreed with them. I think I'm lucky because I can see beauty in almost anything, and last night I saw Coach Bieste (Dot Jones) for her beauty. That was, of course, after her character gained my sympathy. I couldn't believe Mr. Shuester told her that the Glee Club boys were using a lingerie clad mental image of the coach to "cool off" their amorous advances to their girlfriends who won't "put out". There's a time to lie and a time to not lie, and this was most certainly a lie situation.

Then he had the nads to tell her not to take it personally. But, this is Hollywood and Glee is the brain child of a bunch of Hollywood writers, and they of course tried to make it all better by cheeze-ily having Shue give Bieste her first kiss. Cheeze.

Anyway, lets talk about the Glee club's new competition for sectionals, Dalton Academy. Hello to Blaine (Darren Chriss) who meets Kurt in the hallway of the all boys school. (Kurt is being bullied by a football Neanderthal and does not feel "challenged" at McKinnley) Dreamy Blaine explains to Kurt that the Glee Club at Dalton are like rock stars and he takes Kurt by the hand to an impromptu performance of "Teenage Dreams" where dreamy Blaine sings lead. The actual singing of "Teenage Dreams" was recorded in August and are really the voices of acapella sensations "The Beelzebubs" from Tufts University in Medford, MA. Hell ya! This coming from a mom of an Acapella group member.

Back to Blaine, who is absolutely dreamy and GAY, much to Kurt's pleasure. He tells Kurt not to run from his troubles but to stand up and have courage as the only out of the closet gay kid at McKinnley. Kurt finally has the courage to confront the bully who daily slams him into his locker, and WOW, the jock ends up kissing Kurt on the lips!!! I did NOT see that one coming at all. I'm not quite sure what happened next because it took me a second to re-group, but we find out that Kurt has never been kissed before that.

Puck is back from juvie, and he and Artie, who I think has the best male voice on the show, sing a sick rendition of Bob Marley's, "One Love" which is my download pick of the week. They form a strange partnership that revolves around community service and chicks and scheme to get Brittney and Santana to go out with them. Puck's probation officer does not find Puck's idea of community service appropriate and threatens to send him back to juvie if he does not comply. Artie tell him he's going to tutor Puck in Geometry if Puck will tutor Artie in chicks. Please don't send Puck away again. Thanks. Glee is much better with him.

The girls of Glee put on a smokin' hot mash-up of two of my faves, "Living on a Prayer" and "Start me Up", by two of my favorite rock and roll bands, and the costuming is seriously HOT! The boys dedicate their mash-up performance of "Stop in the Name of Love" and "Free Your Mind", to Bieste, who they serenade, all handsome in their vintage inspired jackets and ties. Bieste accept their apology somewhat by telling the boys she really liked the performance and the episode ends in a big Bieste group hug.

Last night's episode was weak at best, and that's partially because there were not enough musical numbers for my liking. I'm liking the new Dalton Academy boy's Glee Club though. More of Blaine, please and thank you.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Airstream Dream

You never know where inspiration will come from. Beauty can be inspiring, but beauty is subjective at best. Would you ever think that an Airstream trailer could launch an entire campaign of inspiration? Just ask that blogger extrodinaire The Vegetable Assasin (who, BTW has the most amazing collection of airstream art on her sidebar. I'd love to do a grouping of those on a wall, $eriously)

Or ask the designers over at the Alice and Olivia fashion house, for they have brought an Airstream Dream to the streets. Shopping for fashions in the privacy of an ultra-luxe Airstream trailer!! I know that sounds like a complete oxy-moron, but its true. And I love the idea! I am surrounded by amazing fashions all day long, but the idea that I can go to some obscure location and peruse gorgeous designs inside a fashion house which is in a traveling fashion house makes me get all giddy!! The idea for the pop-up tour was, of course, seasonal, and the folks st Alice and Oliva toured the southern states this summer in their "make-over wagon".

Equip with a fashion stylist and a make-up artist, the staff booked clients like brides, proms and anyone in need of fashion styling advice. According to the LA times, brand founder Stacy Bendet decided to try and reach their customers in new and interesting ways. The Airstream was a burst of inspiration.
Sign me up!!! Not only would I LOVE to bring my Kevyn Aucoin Cosmetics with me and work right along side the stylists, styling and doing make-up, traveling the country, but I'd be poorer than I am now because any money I made would go right back into the clothes..... I am a complete fashion junkie!!!
Which is exactly the point of the Airstream. Vintage style never looked to modern.

Monday, November 8, 2010

NFL Stands For No F**kg LOSERS

Today's post is a sports rant, so if you are not into profanity or football, sorry. It's probably best to step aside and check out my new graphics or come back tomorrow cuz I'm fighting mad.

Now it's one thing to loose. Hey, every team does it in the course of a season and I actually think that loosing is a great way to re-group and make a team focus. I've said it before, I HATE winning streaks for the simple fact that when a team is on a winning streak, they forget what it's like to loose and when they are faced with a "come from behind situation" they get all crazy because keeping the winning streak alive is the only thing that matters.

So having said that, I'm not at all upset that the Pats lost yesterday.

I'm upset that they lost to him.

Mangini (I said that just like Jerry Seinfeld says, "Newman"...)

That little F*CK has no business being an NFL coach, much less a freakin thorn in Coach Belechick's side, yet there he is, wreaking havoc again. Can someone please put this little dirtbag out of his misery and BAN him from the NFL or something? Mangini sucks simply because he is a little man with a Napoleon complex and feels he has to prove his worth when facing his former mentor. And he will stoop to deviance and trickery. SEE: SPYGATE.

Coming into yesterday's game the lowly Cleveland Browns, the last stop on your, "I'm on my way outta the NFL as a head coach, anyway" tour, were a pitiful 2-5 going into the game. In come the big, bad New England Patriots. The cheese who stood alone with the best record in the NFL at 6-1, their three shiny Super Bowl trophies causing quite a glare in the Ohio sunlight. It was a Davey and Goliath tale for the sports writers to spin, but the Pats just might have forgotten about one critical factor.


Or did they? I don't know what is is about Mangini, but when he plays the Pats he usually manages to throw a wrench in the iron clad mind of Bill Belechick. Is this because Mangini spent six seasons on Belechick's staff, along side Belechick, earning those three Super Bowl victories? Did student learn all there is to know about mentor? Could be. But the Cleveland Browns team I watched yesterday won that game by plaing pretty fantastic football. And believe me, it pains me to admit that.

What happened to the Pats? Do they really need to be coddled by home turf and fan support to beat a 2-5 team?? I can't even blame this on on our young defense. I watched My Tommy sitting on the sidelines, dejected and silent, viewing a energized Cleveland team make unbelievable, exciting catches as they collected first downs like a kid trick or treating in a suburban neighborhood. I sooo wanted to go sit next to him, put my arm around his shoulder and get up close to whisper in his ear, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? FOR CHRIST SAKES GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF A** AND MAKE A FRIGGIN PLAY!"

The Cleveland Browns and Mangini and his staff deserve all the credit. They played exciting and smart football when it counted and I can appreciate smart, exciting football. They did everything right and the Pats did everything wrong. Everything. They could only stand on the sidelines and watch as the game slipped away. But that's the great thing about this year in the NFL. Any team can beat any team at any given time.

I just don't want my team being beaten by a Mangini team. And I think Belechick feels the same way. It's ok though. Because just when Mangini thinks he's gotten into Belechick's head, Bill will do something amazing to smack Mangini back into the back of the NFL bus where he belongs.
Future Hall of Fame coaches have a way of doing that.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Wikid Pissah

I interrupt my self imposed moratorium on pics of myself because I promised to show you in all my Brunette-ness. I even have the balls to leave it up all weekend.

So I'm reading my paper this morning and I spy an article about a local casting company that offers a class that helps Boston raised actors get rid of their Boston accent.

So I think, "That's wikid pissah!"

Not really, but you get the idea. Then I think that this is pissah for all Bostonians, not just Boston bred actors because the Boston accent makes you sound like a wikid big moron. Seriously, My Tommy could be presented before me, tied up with a gold ribbon (tied up? meowww) and if he opened his mouth and spoke with a Boston accent, I would be out the door, pronto. I mean it.

Nothing makes me cringe more than hearing one of my beautiful children speak in the vernacular of the locals. I will admit to occasionally revealing my region of origin in my speech, but being a journalism major with a concentration in TV, it gave me the discipline to articulate the words the way they were meant to be spoken. I do slip up. After all, I was born and raised here, but mostly I only slip when I'm with my family or friends who speak with the accent. It's very easy to slide into it when it's all you hear. Or heah.

I jacked this from the Boston Herald article because it's so true:

Unless you are going to be cast in a Ben Afflek or Matt Damon, both serious hunks of men, movie, or a movie about the Kennedy's, I see absolutely no reason to EVER sound like one of us. EVER. It's just downright appalling and it deduces the speaker to trailer trash upon first impression.

And that would just be a wikid shame.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

She Got It Bad

I'm so screwed.

Frick's got the love bug and she's got it bad.

The guy? We'll call him Hairball, and this ain't our first time on the merry-go-round with him.
No, Frick's been pining for him since sixth grade, when they briefly dated and he broke her heart. Now a high school junior, there has been no one since then and there really never was. It was always Hairball for Frick. Secretly, quietly, she would pine for him, all the while claiming they were "just friends". But I knew better. A mother always knows.

Last year, in the last half of the school year, Frick finally got her man. And I was so happy for her. She was so happy too, and bitchy and all of that stuff that comes along with your first real love. They fought a bit. Frick got accused of being a "flirt" because, get this, she was talking to another boy on Facebook. The other boy happened to be really cute and made it known he was hot for Frick. And oh yeah, he had a girlfriend too. Meanwhile it was completely harmless. High school drama. Hairball had a complete meltdown and his friends, (because they gotta be all up in each other's business) were all over him, telling him that Frick was messing with his mind.

I was BALLISTIC. Frick was convinced that she was wrong. The relationship took a hit because of that, and SHE regretted responding to the other kid on Facebook. I practically pulled all of my hair out of my head in complete frustration, trying to get her to understand that she did nothing wrong. NOTHING. I mean if a sixteen year-old-girl can't write someting in response to someone who wrote on her wall, what is this world coming to? I told her she's SUPPOSED to be doing those things. But I see how things got blown out of whack.. Peer pressure's a bitch, and teens hardly have any defense against it.

Anyway, they made it through that time only to break up for the summer, as Frick was headed off to Europe for most of it. They decided that they could possibly rekindle the flame when school started. But that didn't happen. They sort of danced around each other for a while, then started talking again. Hairball kind of started messing with Frick's mind and she needed answers. This went on for almost two months then 2 weeks ago, Frick gives him the hammer. Either tell me it's over or tell me otherwise, but don't lead me on anymore. He drops the, "I'm over you" thing and Frick is reduced to jello. The hard part was that at the same time, Frick and her bestest girl friend had a falling out over her bestest girl friend's boy friend. DRAMA...Needless to say, Frick mourned for a few days and then picked up the pieces of her multi-faceted life.

Then this past weekend comes and what happens?? Hairball decides he can't live without Frick and begins a furious attack to spend some time with her. He IM's her, BBM's her, he even calls her, and when they resort to the phone they are desperate. She had plans with her friends and we convinced her that blowing off your friends for a guy is just dirty pool to which she agreed. So she told him no can do, which only made him want her more. They somehow managed to meet up every night, while she was with her friends and work it out. He even picked her up and took her to lunch on Sunday afternoon. And he paid!

I told her, "Frick, if this is what you want, I'm happy for you. But you go into this with eyes wide open."

Her eyes are wide open alright. It's her feet that have not touched the ground...

I'm so screwed.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Scenes From A Bonfire

Today's post is a re-post from Oct 31, 2008. The scene that plays out here really happened in my backyard. Guest 2 is a good friend and Guest 1 was her, at the time, new boyfriend. I post this in honor of the couple, now married, who will welcome their new born daughter at some time today. Congrats to Mr and Mrs Fabulous! Looks like your fire for each other has never gone out.


Male HOST sits at a backyard bonfire on a crisp autum night with his two guests.

GUEST 1 and GUEST 2 are young people in a committed relationship.

GUEST 1 is a male and GUEST 2 is a female. GUEST 2 is making smores over the CRACKLING fire, the marshmallow still melting amongst the flames.

HOST: Tonight marks the first time I have allowed my 12 year old son to go trick-or-treating with a group of his friends without parental supervision.

GUEST 1: (Leaning into GUEST 2) Man, when I was 12 on Halloween, I remember getting my first kiss with Debbie Simpson in the back of my best friends garage. Yeah, that's what I was doing at 12 without my parent's supervision.

GUEST 2: (Looking straight into GUEST 1's eyes) Debbie Simpson? That's the name of the first girl I ever kissed too!

Momentary SILENCE as GUEST 1 and GUEST 2, intensley hold each other's stares.

Robust LAUGHTER ensues.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Kids Think The Damnedest Things.

This has got to be the greatest stuff I have seen in a long time... I love kids.