Isn't It Ironic?

http://failblog.org/tag/irony/

Mother Nature Is One Shrewd Bitch

I can't help but giggle. I heard his name is "Dickie".

Hahahaahahahahaha!!!

I'm Powerless

I woke up Sunday morning thinking this whole storm was a bust.

I didn't see any serious weather outside my window, really.

Anything that looked treacherous. "What a bust!" I announced and sort of chuckled at myself and the weathermen who were documenting every second of Hurricane Irene.

That was three days ago and I should have known better because I have been without power for three days since.

I have to be grateful, really. No one is hurt. Everyone is ok, we have food and we have money to buy food and each other to keep company. Half of the town I live in has power and half does not. My little store has power and Internet today and I'm back to work.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE PUT THE POWER BACK ON SOON BEFORE I LOOSE MY FRICKEN MIND.

I've never experienced this for this long before. If you'll indulge my selfish whims for a moment:

Things I'm freaking out over:

• No TV. You know I'm having withdrawal. Three days and counting.


• Cold showers. Are you kidding me? No, just no.


• No Air Conditioning. No Internet. And did I mention NO TV?


• It's fine during the day, but when the lights go out all bets are off. Candlelight begins to become less romantic.


• We have a generator, but it's keeping some food cold in the garage refrigerator and our sump pump working in the basement. We plugged in phone chargers and a lamp but nothing major. I'm actually JEALOUS of my friends who have power.


• I feel completely discombobulated and disconnected from my life. You begin to question how dependent we are on the modern conveniences of electricity. If this is a test I FAILED.

I'm off tonite to a hotel. Screw this.

Last I heard, power will be restored by Saturday.

Tweeting For Attention

So the devine Ms. Moore aka Mrs. Ashton Kutcher has done it again. Yup, she's baring her bod for all the world to see and this time she has done it from the privacy of her own bathroom. She posted this picture using her husband's favorite pastime, Twitter sometime last week with the caption, "Maybe this looks more like summer".

Whoop dee doo.

Really? Ok, I'll give her that she's a smokin' hot celeb with more time and money on her hands than most people. Couple that with the fact that she is a 47 year-old woman and YES, Demi, you look good. Correct that, you look great and damn if you don't know it. And bravo to you for posting the pic for all your followers to see....Which is exactly the point now isn't it?

Does this bathing suit scream, "look at me?"

You can totally tell she was feeling the, "look at me" vibe too. The evidence; the sunglasses. Yeah, I walk around the house wearing my sunglasses and bikini all the time too. My point? She's a celebrity. Was she feeling like she needed some attention? Vogue and Harper's Bazaar weren't calling for an interview? Her agent couldn't find any good scripts? Ashton's too busy developing new shows with MTV to notice his wife has a smoking physique? What?

"Look at meee!!!

And we are all looking. I read about it in the paper this morning, then I go and validate it by BLOGGING about it. I am part of the problem, it's true. Then there's the copycats who are far worse than me.

That's C-Lister, Lisa Rhinna, posting her copycat photo days later, extolling the virtues of 47 year old Demi and how she was inspired by Demi and how she the role model for smoking hot 47 year olds or some shit like that.

This is a BLATANT case of "look at meeee!" and Rhinna is just jumping on the, I-need-some-attention-too, bandwagon. Puh-leese. Let's not forget that these women have had thousands of dollars of plastic surgery to look smoking hot. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, not at all. I'm just saying don't try and fool us into thinking they are doing this for the cause. The cause being average forty-somethings everywhere. The average forty-something everywhere has to work their ass off to come even close to looking like that.

You don't see them tweeting bikini pics that scream, "look at mmmmeeee".

Or maybe they do. The difference is they just don't get the press for it.

Mute Monday: Pain And Suffering