Remember Me?

I've returned.

It would seem that I turn to writing when I don't know what to do with myself.  I put my words on paper and try to make sense of it all. And there's a lot going on that doesn't make sense these days. So, I decided to click onto my old friend Blogger and I signed into The Daily Dandy. It was that easy.

It feels good to be back. Me and the keyboard "having a conversation about nothing". But these days nothing seems... trivial. Life is changed drastically since 2016, the last time I logged into this place; my home for my words and my thoughts. But I guess that's the thing about going home, you somehow are comforted by the stability of what you know and it feeds your soul.

Comfort is something we all desperately need because right now. Life as we know it, knew it, and will live it is drastically different. That's the straight sh*t. No kidding.

Covid-19 has taken our world hostage, quite literally and we are left to wait, worry and wonder when and if we will make it out of this pandemic. We are all looking for answers and assurances that this too shall pass. But there are none.

As of today, I have been self quarantined at home for 7 days. Unprecedented. TV News media is my constant companion. My store is closed. No work, no business, no American dream or engine that drives our economy because "social distancing' must be our new normal. No restaurants, malls, boutiques, stores or coffee shops open. It's almost eerie.

I know I'm not alone. Mankind has been a great partner in all this, and we must stick together. Today, by the grace of God, I am healthy and my family is healthy. That is a blessing. So I'm going to focus on the blessings. The small things, the memories we have been making at the dinner table, and I'm going to do my part to slow the spread of this virus.

I'll come back here a lot, during this.
I'll talk about nothing and something and that something we are all talking about.
And together, we will connect without actually connecting.

It's good to be home again where I belong. In my own little universe

My Birthday Ode To My Mom On My Birthday

She was a young and vibrantly beautiful woman, two years short of her 40th birthday, and ready to pop with her fifth child. Almost as beautiful on the inside as out, she possessed an incredible strength that she still holds today, and she knew that she had to be prepared. It was early December, but the spirit of Christmas was already heavy in the hustle and bustle of the air. She had to be finished with her Christmas shopping because she would never disappoint her 4 other children. The toys were bought, wrapped and safely hidden from sight as she knew the time for baby could be at any moment. She even drove an hour away, enormous belly and all, to secure the coveted ski boots for her oldest. There was no Cyber Monday in those days-it was late in the 60's. Those who knew her best were not surprised. She was extremely capable and the birth of a child, for her, was no deterrent.

Soon she felt the child was ready and off she went to the hospital. It was 8 or 9 am when the baby girl arrived! She didn't remember much because of the anesthesia, but she remembered being ecstatic God had given her another girl. Two girls, she had first, then two sons, and this baby girl was a joy to behold! Back then, the gender of the child you carried was a mystery to be revealed only at the joyous moment. She went in with a few ideas of names. "What would we name her," she thought. And she remembered the lovely nurse who took such good care of her while in the hospital. The nurse was named Candace and she quickly decided it was a most beautiful choice. Baby Candace, was to her, the most wonderful Christmas gift of all. Her husband was born on the following day many years before, and they joked that the baby wanted to make her own entrance into the world. Candace would not wait, they laughed, she had to make it all her own. Oh, how they knew me even back then. 

Some forty something years later and she is still a beautiful and strong woman and still very much prepared for her children's Christmas. 16 grandchildren later, 2 of them from Candace, she still toils with the Christmas shopping for each and every one. The joy of child birth long past her, she has reveled in the wonder of the many births that her children experienced as if they were her own. She still possesses the ability to be the mother she has always been; Loving, caring, nurturing and strong. 

God, she always says gave her the gift of her 5 children; like her 5 fingers, she couldn't live without her fingers. But really we are the fortunate ones. God truly gave us the gift of her. So lucky, are we...

Trainwreck

I've been a bit of a trainwreck lately.

In the best possible way, of course. But my blogging time has been directly affected. The more The Candy Bar's numbers go up, the less time I have to blog. These are good problems to have because when all is said and done, I gotta devote my time to the thing that pays the bills. All week I had plans to blog, yet I never seemed to find any time. Like this week I had plans to blog about:

• "Don't Discount the Discount"-I went shopping with my high school girl friends on Monday afternoon. We went to a Nordstrom Rack and while there I found at least 6 things that I liked that were cheap. Normally I don't buy cheap items, but these were fashionable and fit well. The price made me think twice? Really? Expensive items don't make me think twice but the cheap ones did? Were they not good quality? Would they last? I bought them anyway and I'm glad I did. I have received lots of compliments on my discounted clothing and heck, if they don't last, it's not like I paid a bundle for them.

•  "Stop and Smell the Success"-As I stated earlier, I'm getting busier and busier at the store. This is great, and it's about time but I have to remember I am not superwoman. Some days I forget to eat both breakfast AND lunch. Not good when come quitting time I'm so stressed out and I have a headache that I can't even enjoy my down time. I gotta take a moment. I've got to breathe, and let someone else do it. I don't have to always be the one doing. I already am the one worrying about it so I might as well let someone else do it.  

• "Trainwreck"-After an especially stressful day, which resulted in a headache, I took two Advil, ate dinner and watched the movie "Trainwreck". It was just what the doctor ordered. It was a dumb-ass movie, but I loved it! Amy Schumer is hilarious. Who knew LeBron James was funny and a surprise cameo from John Cena made it worthwhile. The sex scene with Cena was worth the two hours alone! He was hysterical! The laugh was a great release and much needed.

Yeah...It seems like I woke up and it was Friday already. Where did the week go?

For now, I'm ok, great in fact. But I've got to remember that this train I'm on will NOT be a wreck.

The Stomach Sleeper

My mom always said that I "could fall asleep on a picket fence", and she would be right. Put me in the back seat of a car on a long ride and soon enough I will be out cold. When I board an airplane-no matter how long the ride-I always drift off to dream land shortly after take off. So it was much to my surprise that just as this summer had turned into fall, I found myself awake at some strange hours of the night. I go to bed anywhere between 10:00 and 11:00 PM, usually not waking up until 5 or 6 AM. Lately? I'm awake at 12:30 AM, 2:30 AM and 4:45 AM and so forth. I can always fall back to sleep, but the waking up in the middle of the night is becoming more and more frequent.

I did a bit of research and learned a few valuable things:

• I am a stomach sleeper, which could be part of my problem.Sleeping on your stomach is BAD for several reasons, but the one that really stopped me dead in my tracks is this: Stomach sleeping causes WRINKLES!!! OMG! I tell people all day long how to prevent the forming of new fine lines and wrinkles and I just realized that I am putting my face in jeopardy almost every night! I never really thought about it, but I have been seeing those "pillow marks" or vertical lines on my face and cheeks that just don't fade as quickly as they used to.  I also sleep on my side-another wrinkle producer-and the tell tale signs show more on the side you sleep on. Oh the horror!

• Stomach sleeping is also bad for your back and neck. I am always looking for a neck and shoulder massage, now it totally makes sense. This form of sleeping also puts an enormous strain on you spine and spinal strain can cause numbness and tingling. No wonder I sometimes wake up with "dead arm", like my arm has fallen asleep-but I am wide awake. And forget about what it does to your neck? turning your head to the side on your pillow causes your head and spine to be out of alignment, a recipe for more pain. 

• Here's the kicker- AGE and STRESS can be a large contributor to "middle insomnia". Great-I've got both of those in spades and I wonder why I'm waking periodically through the night? Alcohol consumption and an underlying condition could also be the answer to waking in the middle of the night. Let's hope there is no underlying condition because I'm not giving up a glass of wine at dinner. Or two. 

Bottom line is doctors say that waking in the middle of the night is a normal occurrence but that you should be able to fall back to sleep easily. So far I have been lucky to drift back off to sleep, but I have been more conscious of the position I sleep in. While I am sleeping on my back more frequently, I wonder if this position change may have something to do with the middle of the night waking? Back sleeping is not my sleeping position of choice, but if it means a better night sleep, I will continue to try it.

At most, my face will someday thank me for it, of that I can be sure. 

I've Got A Bone To Pick

So I went to the dentist yesterday for my routine cleaning. I never used to worry about a trip to the dentist, but after a certain age a routine trip to the dentist is no longer so routine. That sensitive area or slight twang of pain somewhere turns out to be more than you bargained for-or budgeted for. A simple cleaning can suddenly turn into a "deep scaling", which causes discussion of gum disease and a lengthy lecture about the virtues of flossing. Cue the anxiety! I suddenly understand why people have fears about seeing the dentist. I made it out of there alive yesterday and with a glowing review which means I do not have to return for another six months. Thank God!

While I was there, I noticed things were different. What happened to the spit bowl? The dentist's scraping tool is now equipped with water, so scraping is accompanied with a rinse option. While your teeth are scraped and cleansed of tartar, your mouth fills with water. The suction tool that hangs on the side of your mouth becomes the only thing saving you from chocking and gagging your way through the whole procedure and it robs you of actually seeing if your gums are bleeding or not. 

I still HATE the tooth polishing. It's like the hygienist puts Lava hand soap on the small rubber tool and spins it all over your pristine, vulnerable teeth. It's the equivalent to scraping nails on a chalk board and let's not even mention the gritty grit that you are left with to crunch and grind on for the rest of the day. The residue is most certainly a constant reminder of the whole torturous process. 

The good news for me that a simple fix put my mouth back in healthy graces. The daily addition of G.U.M. Soft Picks have literally saved me anxiety and time at my dental check ups! These flexible and jagged little picks with bristles, used in the same manner as dental floss but at the base of the gum, do wonders to remove plaque and stimulate the gums. As soon as I added these to my daily brushing routine, my trips to the dentist have been a quick, efficient trip with a positive check up and no talk of gum disease. 

Dentists are people too, with feelings like everyone else. A dentist has to endure the occasional, "Sorry doc, it's nothing personal. I just don't like dentists." After all, they are just doing their job, right? Unfortunately for them, their job happens to remind people that a trip to the dentist is nothing more than a necessary pain. 

My Best Friend's Birthday

How many birthday's have we celebrated since we've known each other? More than we'd care to admit.
Friends through it all, you and me, like two pieces of a puzzle that are the perfect fit.

Growing up together, how I remember long days of fun and adventure. We we never far from each other, neither one wanting our time to end if a guess, I had to venture.

Elementary school was a life full of dreams, junk food, and sleepover parties. We told ghost stories and did makeovers and considered ourselves the ultimate smarties!

High School was harder, you were older and  socially trying to make your way. So I stayed in your shadows and understood; a younger best friend needed to stay out of the fray.

Then college came, and we parted ways and made lots of  new friends. No longer down the street, we lost touch but inside our hearts knew this was not to be the end.

You moved.
I got married.
We didn't talk for years.

Yet the second we found each other again we laughed through the tears.

Our second act, as they say, has been quite a ride! Together we've loved and we've lost and we've marveled at accomplishments with pride. This time distance wasn't an issue, as you occupied both coasts.  I'll always be there, you know, you are my family and family is what matters the most.

So you're stuck with me San, and that's not so bad because to me, you are the best friend a girl ever had.
Happy Birthday to my BFF, here's to many, many more, and to the memories we will make and to what ever else our lives together have in store.....

I love ya!

We Have Contact!

I have been wearing contact lenses now for about six months. I recently did something I've always wanted to do-I got colored contact lenses! My first pair arrived last week with my own prescription and I immediately put them in my eye. The result is not too different than that of the picture above. Needless to say, I love them! It's me, only slightly different, and with lighter eyes. I couldn't wait to show them off and get everybody's reactions but I had no idea what was to come. Everybody reacted alright-some positive, some not so positive.

My mom-"You don't look any different to me, but I love them!"

My dad noticed right away-"You have colored contacts on! They look great!"

Frick-"Mom, are you wearing colored contacts? You look awesome!"

A work colleague-"What did you do different? Did you cut your hair? You look fresh! Like you just came from the spa. Did you do botox?"

Some of my very good friends took a moment to notice only AFTER I pointed them out-"Oh yeah...I like them!"

But my boys? Not so much.

Frack- "Mom, something's wrong with your eyes!! Look in the mirror!! You look like a werewolf!!"

And most of all My Guy- "Honey, there's something wrong with your eyes! It doesn't look good. Like you look sick."

Everybody has an opinion. Safe to say, I'm having a great time freaking people out but My Guy is having the hardest time with them. Not one to adapt to drastic change, he told me that he does not like them at all. He even went as far to say that he loves my eyes the way they are naturally, and that you can't blame him for not liking his "beautiful wife" any other way. "OK honey", I said, "let's not lay it on too thick"..

Good thing I'm confident in who I am. Otherwise I would be second guessing my new contacts. I'm chalking it up to a fashion experiment with very mixed results, but I'll continue to wear them, just not every day. You can't blame me for wanting to mix it up a bit every now and then. Can you?

Spirit Animal

I'm not one to buy into all that Facebook crap about being a super fan of the Brady Bunch and who your Disney princess is. But one night my friend and I were talking about your spirit animal and what that means.

So I googled it and took the quiz.

What did I find out? I found out that I was the Wolf. Sounded reasonable because it tells me that the wolf has a "stealth hunting ability as well as strength and stamina". Family comes first, says the wolf, who forms deep connections with close friends and family members. Also very true. The Wolf is loyal, devoted and passionate which is also me. OK-so I decide to blog about the spirit animal today and I pull up the quiz to read about the Wolf.  

Then what do I do? You guessed it? I freakin took the quiz again.

I got the swan. Huh? I'm not the wolf? I think it's a mistake although the Swan spirit animal has attributes I can relate to. So I Google another, different quiz and I get the Tiger. WTF? Which am I? Now I'm confused as shit because the Tiger also has spirit animal qualities that are totally me. I take it again, because determination is one of my many qualities. This time I get the Wolf. The wolf has 2x going for it.

Now my friend stops by and takes the quiz after I tell him about the mix up. What happens? He gets the Owl. I tell him to take the other quiz to see if it's all a scam, and he gets the Owl again. Now I'm pissed! I make him take it one more time and BAM...he gets the Owl. 3x he's the Owl and he wins the consistency quota.

So I decide to take it again...Bad decision because now I get the Owl! It must be wrong so I walk away from it for an hour or so...Then I take it again...and I get the Owl AGAIN. Now I've decided that it's all a scam and what the hell do I care about a stupid animal quiz?

Bottom line? I'm the Wolf with Owl tendencies since I got them both 3X.      
OK? So now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled lives.
Aren't you glad I figured that out?                                                                                                                                            

Weekend At Mommy's

So how was your 4th? I had the best weekend..

I started my weekend on Thursday because Friday was the observed holiday, so I made my way down to my July 4th destination, Cape Cod, MA. The traffic was brutal brutal, even at 11:00 am but I didn't mind that it took us twice as long to get there. We went directly to our favorite restaurant once we arrived and proceeded to have.....the most amazing.....the summer favorite and a Cape Cod Classic.....a hundred million calories and I just didn't care....

FRIED CLAM PLATTER

And I ate the whole thing. It didn't disappoint because it never does. One by one, (or ten) my family arrived to the Cape house, each one with their traffic story. Seems it didn't matter what time you left that day-there was traffic and lots of it. Once everyone had arrived we went back to our favorite restaurant and enjoyed a huge, family meal-again. This was the start of a trend. A FAT trend as we all ate like we hadn't eaten in months. The drinks were flowing, the laughs were numerous and the evening was a pure joy.

Friday? A picture perfect beach day and we took complete advantage of it. There's nothing like spending the day on the ocean with your brothers and sisters-and the kids. We had a ball. Again-lunch was a smorgasbord of different foods and damned if I didn't indulge a bit in all of them-cuz that's what life is all about right? Enjoying yourself with your family has to be one of life's great pleasures. Friday night was the country club's annual July 4th BBQ and fireworks. We all showered, dressed up and piled into our cars for the ride to the club. When we go there we were greeted by Uncle Sam on stilts!! (who happens to be our favorite waiter from a restaurant at home-his real profession is that he is a clown)

The club was adorned with red, white and blue balloons, flowers and decorations everywhere. It was gorgeous. This year was extra special as there were carnival-like vendors all around. They had kettle corn, fried dough, a raw bar, ice cream trucks and activities and kiddie train rides for the young children. And of course...there was food. The BBQ had cold fried chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, swordfish, salmon and the most incredible salads you could imagine. Once again-we ate till we couldn't eat any more then drank quite a bit too. Once the sun went down we were treated to an incredible fireworks display with music. It was spectacular. Once safely ensconced in bed after the day, I said a little prayer to God to thank him for all the gifts I experienced that day. I am truly blessed.

Saturday was cloudy-perfect day to hit the local shops. I said hello to some of my old friends who work in the stores then went back to the house where we had a HUGE Corn Hole tournament. Some friends came for the day and we partied like it was 1999. We planned a big BBQ of our own, and I was surprised that all the stores were open for business on July 4th. We must have gone to the liquor store and the supermarket at least 3 times that day. Again...it was the food. And so much of it I started to repeat the phrase, "Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins." We laughed that this weekend was starting to be like reverse fat camp. That night we had a large bonfire on the beach and more fireworks from all along the coast could be seen from our spot on the beach. It just couldn't get any better.

Sunday was another beach day bonanza and a day of reflection on all the wonders we had experienced over the weekend. So many gifts, we had been given during the time spent together. We left to return home from our weekend truly fulfilled by a family's love and the blessings of a life spent enjoying it's spoils.

But we took with us memories that we will cherish forever-and for sure at least 5 unwanted pounds of good clean living.

On The Street Where You Live

My brother told me a few Sunday's ago, while we were all together for dinner, that the beloved house that we grew up in was for sale. 

Really, I thought. I had always fantasized about buying it back. 

He then showed us the listing on line. It was with much joy that we (thanks to technology) looked through the photos online of our childhood home. I could hardly believe my eyes..not much had changed since the 37 years ago that we moved out. I noticed the kitchen floor was the same tile floor my mom had installed in the 70's. The bathrooms looked to be the same bathroom we used as kids and the finished basement, where we had a bumper pool table and the neighborhood's first video games hadn't changed at all. Such happy memories growing up in that beloved house. 

For two weeks I couldn't get my house out of my head. Not to far from where I live now, I had often driven by the home and pointed it out to my children and my husband. Each time I watched and wondered why it had fallen into disrepair. I often said I would have given anything to get back inside and see it. Now was my chance and I knew that I probably wouldn't have this opportunity again. I watched the listing waiting for an open house opportunity and yesterday I had my chance!

I took my mom and we toured the house I grew up in. She was delighted to see the deep red, kitchen tile she installed still in pretty good shape. I was so taken by the closet doors, still slatted and with the same door handles that I grew up with. What wasn't so great about that was that the closets inside were still the same wooden dowels that we had hung our clothes many years before. They looked old because they were. Even the kitchen pantry, where I used to scour for goodies and treats, was the same four shelved wooden closet. It had stood the test of time, but because of that it was obviously time for change. 

The bathroom by the back door was the same! I swear my mom installed that Dixie cup dispenser when we were kids...and there it was. We wondered if going back into the house after all those years would be emotional, but it wasn't for either of us. It was great, really! And it felt so good to be able to remember good memories we shared inside the house. Truth is, it felt just like home-even with someone else's belongings everywhere. Even the realtor walked around with us as we toured the house, listening to us comment on everything. She later told us that we had made her day as it was obvious to her how much we loved living in that house.

I took a selfie in almost every room of the house and there I am inside my old room. I stood at the point where I used to sit and play records and dolls and I swear I could have stayed there all day-just happy to be inside. I took pictures for my brothers and sisters too, and I sent this picture to my brother of me outside the closet he used to lock me in-then take off and leave me there-when we played hide and go seek. Again-they were the same wooden shelves I had squeezed into when I was a kid. 

We left no stone unturned and we even toured the garage. 

My eyes spied this on the garage window.

That was my dad's security company that he owned when we lived there!! Mom was tickled to see it was still there. 

Standing there on the driveway where I learned to ride a two wheeler and skinned many a knee, it was obvious that even though we didn't live there any longer, we were still very much a part of that beautiful home and its legacy. If the old saying is true, that life takes you to unexpected places but love brings you home, then I have come full circle and truly come home. 

Will we buy it back? Who knows? We talked about it and we agreed that it seemed like after we left,  the people that lived in it stopped taking care of it, never truly loving it the way we did. We are intrigued to say the least, but we all agree-it needs a lot of love and some serious TLC.

Change Is In The Air

Ever get a feeling that change is coming? This feeling feels like the opportunity for a big change and suddenly you are on the verge of something different? Different and good or different and bad?That's the Yin and Yang of life. For me- it's here and now and I feel it rising like the tide. I need to be smart. I need to be really smart and research the hell out of the options. Something tells me this may just be what I need-like that something I have been praying for, asking for during sleepless nights.

Change is good and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Caitlyn Jenner-"I'm free" are the words she used to launch her new life change. It's a big one too-a "watershed moment", both historic and important for people like her-life altering because life, as she knew it, will never be the same.

David Letterman-His "Late Show" life has come to an end. Change for him was self imposed because "not everything good lasts forever". His change is here and now.

Birth/Death-The beginning of a new life is by far the greatest gift of all-the Yin. Death, by contrast can be earth shattering-the Yang.

Divorce/Marriage-The breaking up of a marriage can be a devastating change, but can ultimately bring both a good or bad change to those who experience it. So can the beginning of a marriage. The creation of a shared life and family is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself-and your mate. As someone who has experienced divorce, I never thought, while I was going through it, that it was good. I often cursed the heartache and pain I went through and wondered what I had done to deserve it. But I know now that it was a blessing.

Change can be challenging and difficult but it can also be liberating. Change takes attention and perseverance and ultimately, whatever the change that takes place, you pray for the knowledge that it was somehow meant to be.

Whatever the change in the air for me at this time-I am ready. I have been waiting for this opportunity my whole life.

Clear View?

So, I just recently started wearing contact lenses. I have been complaining about my failing eyesight for a while now, so on Dec 26th, 2014, I went to the eye doc and got myself a pair of contact lenses. I can't even tell you how my life has changed for the better! I used to be so dependent on my glasses and now? I don't hardly use them at all. It's so much easier at work! I can see everything clearly and I'm not constantly fumbling and looking for my glasses. It is a blessing to be able to do my work without the distraction of searching for a clearer view.

Flash back to Dec 27, 2014: Day One of contact lens wear. It took me a good hour to insert the lenses properly into my eye and after more than a few tears, loud cussing and steely determination, it was mission accomplished!

Day 2: 45 minutes of cussing, frustrated cries for help, but I wasn't giving up!  Finally success!

Day 3: 10 minutes! I may just be getting good at this!

Day 4: 10 minutes and I'm much more confident that this can become part of my everyday life.

Flash Forward to today: Five months of everyday wear, and I've got the insertion of the lenses down to a few minutes. My contact lenses are very dear to me and I can't imagine life without them BUT I discovered today that contact lenses are a very fickle thing.

I insert my contacts after I get out of the shower, before I apply my makeup. I did that today- which was no different than any other day. I got dressed and started to apply my makeup. No problems except for a slight tingle in my left eye-I then began to blow dry my hair and as I was doing so, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and realized immediately that I could not see clearly.

Where was my contact?

I know I put it in and I might even have been able to feel it, but where was it and why wasn't it doing it's job? This is what I had feared. I had heard about contacts that "get lost" in the eye but I never had experienced it till today. I then began the painful process of swiping my iris and cornea searching for the lost contact.

Redness and stinging in the eye ensued.
Black mascara and eyeliner began to expertly pool under my left eye, creating a mess of the artistry I had minutes before created. I couldn't stop though, I knew the contact was in there but I couldn't find it no matter how hard I tried. I decided I may have dropped it somewhere, so I took a pair of extra reader glasses and began searching frantically around the bathroom for it. Nothing. I then washed my hands and began the painful sweeping the cornea/iris process all over again. After several minutes and several tears I decided to give up. It was then that I felt it!! The lost contact was balled up in the corner of my eye and I was able to pull it gently from my eye!!

I swear I shed a tear of relief that I had just successfully retrieved my $$ contact. I then cleaned it off with the disinfecting solution and you know what I did?

You bet I inserted it back into my eye where it peacefully resides right now.
The good truly outweighs the bad with my contacts. I like going through life with a nice clear view.

Dear...

Dear,

Spring,
Where are you? Why have you forsaken us?

Breaking Bad,
I miss you. You were my best friend for a while and I will fondly remember our time spent together.

Hillary,
You can't please some of the people all of the time and I respect the fact that you are trying. Making  history isn't easy. The question remains; is it enough?

Food,
Our love/hate continues. Will I ever have the advantage here? I doubt it but recently I have learned a thing or two so look out.

Business,
Why are you so fickle? I guess that's why I am addicted to your ebbs and flows. I'd like a clearer picture on the future. Could you throw me a bone here?

Blogger,
I have been neglecting you a bit. Someday's life gets in the way so it's not always what we agreed to. I will try to be better about us.

Boston,
I am proud of you. You did real good yesterday. Even in the cold, raw and unrelenting rain. You persevered and showed your mental strength. We truly are Boston Strong.

Key West,
You are so beautiful. Thanks for last week.

Buddy,
I love everything about you. You are the world's best dog. Your loyalty, love and presence are some of the most precious things about home. Thanks for being at my feet every day (even when you don't want to) I'm sure you can sense that sometimes I need it more than you do.


With Much Love,

Candy
xoxo

Destination Vacation

Destination on the Magical Mystery Tour Part 3???

Key West, Florida!! It was an amazing weekend with lots and lots of sun, fun and the usual debauchery that comes along with being part of the Toxic Trio. A quick recap?
Thursday night, we arrived around 7PM after a day of flying and immediately had dinner in the hotel restaurant which is situated on the beach at the southernmost point of the state! Key West just happens to be 90 miles from Cuba, and is indeed the farthest south you can get in the USA. The Southernmost is also the name of our hotel! The thing about Key West is that even though you are in Florida, you really don't feel like you are in Florida. Key West has this awesome island feel that makes you believe that you are somewhere in the Caribbean.

The pool bar just to the left in that photo was our next destination on Thursday night, and we closed out the evening in perfect Trio fashion: cocktails, friends, photos and fun! Friday was a spectacular day, weather wise, it was in the high 80's and we spent the day at the pool relaxing and making merry. The sun was strong and hot and we got plenty of sun kissed color on our bodies. We had arranged a sunset booze cruise, so we told the Trio to be ready by 5:45.

After some Pirate photo ops-complete with earrings and eye patches, we boarded the boat. The band on board was the first indication of the next two hours of fun and safe to say that the Trio ladies hijacked the boat and held court on the dance floor! We held a limbo contest and even dressed other people up as pirates with our props. Some people even thought that we worked for the cruise company! The scenery was perfection and the sunset didn't disappoint! We left the boat and retired to dinner on world famous Duvall Street. (remember the clue:Robert Duvall?) So many bars, restaurants to choose from, we chose outdoor dining and engaged in people watching for the rest of the evening.

Saturday was another gorgeous beach day and the guys managed to find a new obsession: Wallhooky!
Who would have thought the men could find so much fun with a hook, a brass ring and a piece of string? We then rented an electric car that seated six, perfect for the Trio and we were off to explore the island.

First stop was lunch at El Siboney Cuban restaurant for the locals favorite and then off to the Hemingway House. Earnest Hemingway was a very famous Key West resident whose home has been turned into a museum of sorts, and we toured the old home complete with the many cats that reside there. FUN FACT: the many cats that roam the property freely are direct descendants of Earnest Hemingway's first cat, Snowball, that was given to him by a Massachusetts fisherman decades ago. Hemingway was a complete dog-we found out-as he was married 4 time in his life, seemingly to women his wives had introduced him to. We had a wonderful dinner at Louie's Backyard, which is smack dab on the beach. The fine dining was some of the best food we experienced on the island and the atmosphere was incredible!

Sunday funday was another great beach day! The Trio spent the day playing Wallhooky with the world famous champion, Barcode-who was touring the coast trying to promote the sport. It was Sunday Funday for sure because the Trio got very tipsy spending quality time at the pool bar with Barcode and the boys and almost missed our dinner. We made it of course, and because it was our last night we just HAD to experience some Duvall Street night life and we chose, of course, Sloppy Joes, as our final destination for Key West night life.

Sloppy Joe's is a historic bar in Key West and its most famous patron was Earnest Hemingway himself!
The drinks and the music were flowing freely by the time we got there and I'm not quite sure we ever left the dance floor! The band was awesome, the patrons were just as crazy as one would have thought they would be in Key West and we danced until the wee hours in the morning.

Monday reluctantly came and the Trio boarded the plane to head back home, but not without heavy hearts.
We were just grateful that no one came home from vacation on probation..

The Magical Mystery Tour:Part 3

Hey bloggers! It's that time of year again..
Time to embark on our storied tradition of mystery travel with the Toxic Trio. This is our third year of the mystery trips and it is our turn to plan the events of the long weekend. In case you aren't familiar with what I am talking about I'll give you a quick bit of background:

• The Toxic Trio are a group of 3 couples that we are a part of and spend lots of quality time together making merry and crazy wherever we go. Believe me when I tell you we have been kicked out of only the finest establishments.
• This tradition started back in April 2013 and you can read about our first trip HERE and HERE.
• The next trip which was last April 2013 and was a great success! You can read about that trip HERE and HERE.
• The idea of the "mystery" is to provide the other couple with clues, so as to try to understand where we are going without really knowing where we are going.

This year it is up to us! My Guy and I have planned a fab vacation destination for the Toxic Trio to converge on and enjoy some quality drinking/fun time together. Last night we had our kickoff dinner, to get our Trio Trip vibe on, and as always it was a wonderful evening for all of us! We are definitely getting pumped for the weekends events!

Before I try to tempt you to solve our Mystery Tour riddle, I need to let you know that I will be leaving on our Mystery Trip tomorrow, April 9th, 2015. I will not be returning to the bloggersphere till Tuesday, April 14th, 2015. On Tuesday you can all find out if you guessed the right destination.

These are the clues we provided:

• We will be traveling in the United States-no passports are required.
• The destination will be warm, so beach attire and light clothing are a good bet. 
• We will be taking 2 planes to reach our destination. (remember-I live in Boston)
• And the last clue was this:
  

Good luck guessing bloggers! I'll see you on the flip side!! That is if I survive...

Jive Turkey

Just quietly sitting here going crazy. 

But one can literally drive themselves crazy, can't they? I mean focusing only on what's wrong is easy, and detrimental to any chance of positivity. I swear, this dark and dreary winter has done just about all it can to depress even the happiest of people. But I'm done with it. I'm done complaining about it and I'm done feeling helpless. There's power in change! Turning over a new leaf means accepting whatever life hands you and that despite it all you know that you will be ok. I will be ok. The snow will melt-the dirt and salt will get cleaned up, the sun will come out and the world will look new again. Renewal is inspiring. I will look for action in that inspiration. 

Elanor Roosevelt once said that "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I say, "Can't let the turkeys keep you down!" Down is not where I belong. 

I found my funk and funny, it is precisely that same funk that pulled me out of one. 

The Curious Case Of The Missing Takeout.

While away on a small respite with my family, we indulged in one of our favorite traditions back home-Sunday Chineese dinner. The food was great, the company better and we enjoyed our family ritual in a different state and atmosphere. After dinner was done, we asked for the left over food to packed up and then headed to our home away from home where we safely ensconced said leftovers in the fridge.

Important to note-there were 5 boxes of Chineese takeout. 4 large boxes and one small box.

Day 2 of our fabulous vacation, and the family decided to grill dinner on the fantastic grill out back. That morning, we went to the supermarket and got all of the needed items for the feast. The menu was planned-including some of the stir fry veggies from the Chineese take out. I confirmed the veggies were still a viable entity, by opening the box and tasting a cold piece. Frick, who is here with some friends, informed me that she would be eating some of the leftovers for lunch. I know that the veggies are safe around a bunch of young girls so I then went on about the rest of the day.

It's now later that afternoon and I come back to the house to begin preparations for our cook out. I had to start the water for corn, marinate some of the meat etc, when I noticed that there was only 

1 takeout box left in the fridge- and it wasn't the stir fry veggies. No biggie, I thought, the girls must have eaten the veggies with lunch and I thought I probably should have told them of my intended use for the veggies for dinner. When the girls come back, I jokingly say to them, "hey, you must have been hungry because you ate the veggies too, huh?" Frick is surprised. "No mom, we only ate what was in 2 of the boxes." Really? I asked where the other 2 boxes had gone. They had no idea. 

I then asked My Guy. He had no knowledge of the whereabouts of the 2 missing boxes. Ok, I thought now this is curious. I'm so curious that I decide to satisfy my curiosity by checking the trash can. Interestingly enough, the trash had just been taken out. I inquired with everyone in the house as to who had taken out the trash? My Guy said he had taken out the trash, but did not throw away the missing 2 boxes. Now I'm more than intrigued. WTF had happened to the 2 missing boxes? If Frick and her friends had not thrown them away, and My Guy had not thrown them away, and I know for sure that I had not thrown them away, then where were the 2 missing boxes? 

I tried to dismiss the whole incident as unimportant, but the nagging mystery poked at my psyche. Who was lying and why? And was there a stranger who came into the house and took the 2 boxes of leftover takeout? The empty trash can held the answer and my curiousity was just about killing me, so I went out to the garage and I opened the trash can. The nearly empty can held the white kitchen garbage bag clearly visible, so I reached in and retrieved the bag. Yes, I opened it because at this point I needed to know if the 2 missing boxes were in there. Just as Frick and My Guy had said, the 1 large box and 1 small box the girls had eaten for lunch were inside the bag but not the 2 missing boxes. 

I can't say I wasn't disappointed. Now Im really perplexed with this strange situation and I tie up the white garbage bag and throw it back into the trash can. It was then that I spot 1 of the 2 missing boxes thrown at the bottom of the can! Right next to it is the other missing box, but curiously they are without a trash bag, just thrown randomly into the can???!! And none of the food had been touched, as they were both still full of food and veggies.

What the? And here's the kicker- no one is admitting to anything. It has now become a running joke between us, with everyone accusing one or the other of lying about the missing boxes of takeout.

What do you think happened here bloggers? I'm just about ready to think there is a ghost on vacation with us. 

Can't Keep A Good Man Down

Ever since my beloved Amos went to heaven last November, I have noticed a change in Buddy. I expected him to be affected, but the diffence in Buddy was one that I had not anticipated. I worried that Buddy would be depressed like he had when his beloved sister Jingles died. I worried that he would be lonely being the only dog in the household and even entertained bringing a puppy into the family. Interestingly enough, none of those worries were even close to what has happened with Buddy. 

Buddy's life was one of a pack. He spent his early days with his sister Jingle then two years later, Amos, aka. Boss Man was added to the pack. Their days comprised of loving each other and bonding, but It was clear early on that Amos was the Captian and that he ran a tight ship. Buddy had Jingles, who he loved her like a sister, and it was almost as if the two of them aligned to commiserate about Boss Man and his regime. Then Jingles was called to heaven way too early and Buddy was devastated. He layed around lethargicly and uncharacteristicly left food in his supper dish. Boss Man showed no evidence of emotion but stayed close to Buddy, and then there were 2...

It was life as usual for the boys and they had what seemed like a happy existence. There was definitely  a balance between them. When the altercations became physical, which they did occasionally, Buddy was always the victor due to his obvious size advantage. Still Boss Man never let him forget he was boss. There were rare occasions that they slept in the same doggie bed, which almost always prompted a photo to document as proof. They loved each other, it was obvious, just in their own way. Amos was advanced in age-we never knew exactly because My Guy rescued him-we estimated his age to be around 17 years old. We knew his day would eventually come. Come it did, and we worried how Buddy would react. 

The first few days without Amos, he seemed fine, still we waited. Nothing. There was no evidence of depression and dare I say it, Buddy had a new bounce in his step! Yes, Buddy is now The Man and he is loving it! Evidenced during treat giving, Buddy no longer has to quickly scarf it down so that Amos won't come over, snap, growl and confiscate it for his own. Nights are easier because Buddy can now sit on the end of the sofa comfortably without vicious growling and sharp teeth showing. Meal time has now become a joy without the threat of violence. Buddy has come into his own and now that the kids are gone, the empty nest is all about him and he is loving it. 

They say souls come into our world for a reason, and Buddy and Amos were destined to share their lives. Now Buddy is last man standing, left to be his own man alone and seemingly happy to be doing it on his own terms. 

You Go Girlfriend!!

A self proclaimed "Bravo-phile", it has been well documented here that my TV almost exclusively broadcasts the Bravo network when I find myself in front of it. So it should be no surprise that while on my recent 15 day-unauthorized vacation, that suddenly I had some rare personal time on my hands. Thank God for my iPad, because actually sharing the family room TV with my family can get very tricky. Since I needed to catch up on what all my favorite Housewives were doing, I downloaded the GENIUS Bravo ap and discovered my entire guilty-pleasure-viewing world at my finger tips!

It was within that world that I decided to start watching Bravo's first scripted series "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce". The show is promoted constantly during the Real Housewives franchise and stars Girlfriend Lisa Edelstein as Abby McCarthy, an acclaimed self-help author and family guru who lives in LA. Edelstein is a brilliant choice considering I loved her as the long suffering girlfriend of curmudgeonly doctor House of the 2004 long-running TV series bearing the same name. "Girlfriends" was one of my best binge watches to date. Season 1 is comprised of 13 interesting episodes.

Now before you say anything negative, let me clarify a few things:

• I am EXACTLY the demo Bravo wants; over 40, educated, self employed career woman who is divorced with two children. Safe to say the show speaks to me.
• Abby McCarthy (Lisa Edelstein) and I are nearly the same age and living somewhat the same life-not really-but I am sympathetic to her character and the parallels are numerous. 
• Add marriage, divorce, sex, money, fashion, family and powerful women and I'm in.
• The series first premiered on my birthday. Need I say more?

To those who say that Bravo and it's reality TV franchises are partly responsible for the "dumbing down of America", I say here is a smart and sexy, scripted show that just may teach us a thing or two. 

It's powerful. It's funny and compelling while being heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. And if you've ever been through a rough patch in your life or have a girlfriend who has, it manages to mirror your own personal story only with better fashions and better scripts. It's also one of the best season finale episodes I've watched in a long time. You don't have to be a girlfriend to watch it either, I think the story lines are compelling enough for anyone watching to find a relatable angle. 

Bravo, Bravo! Thanks for giving us finally Girlfriends we can depend on. 

The Reluctant Vacartion

Ok, so I just got back from Florida.

I was there for 15 days!! And before you bemoan what a complete b*tch I am for complaining about being in Florida during the snowiest spate of weather MA has ever seen, understand that it wasn't the most convenient or comfortable for me. Get this-three canceled flights! Yes, I swear three of my scheduled flights home were cancelled due to snow. I was lucky enough to have a place to stay, and I got a bonus vacation to boot, but I own my own business and I was very anxious to get back.

So here I am and don't you just love the first day back? Not really.

• Piles of mail at home and at work. Nothing is more anxiety inducing that a big, tall pile of unopened mail. It makes me feel like the little girl who slept through the final exam!
• So many invoices for product! And all that accounting?? I need to make lists of priority and take it slow-otherwise I will have a full on anxiety attack.
• Piles of laundry! Not really. I was fortunate enough to take home 100% clean laundry. Thank God for small miracles. Nonetheless I have piles of clothes to put away.
• Ice dams-if you don't like in New England you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Ice dams are when snow fall after snow fall after snow fall collects on the roof of your home. Ice forms on the roof which when you mix that with the heat from the inside of your home, it causes the most incredible water damage that is sneaky and crazy. 

But rest assured, there is some comfort in the fact that I am back.
On the contrary, there's the satisfaction of crossing all those crazy things off the list and feeling like you are accomplishing something. Seeing my dog's face after 15 days made my heart sing! There is the warmth of the fire and relaxing under my favorite blanket with my dog at my feet and of course, my own bed! I missed my own bed.

Going away for a "surprise" vacation was great, but if you had told me before I left that I would be gone for two weeks I would have said your were outta your FREAKIN mind! I would have said no way-nada-not happening. Yet it did happen, and if I tried to duplicate it again next year it would never be as spontaneous. So this one will go down in the history books as reluctant, yet special nonetheless.