Friday Funny

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1

What can I do?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to download
Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the applications Jewelry 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be downloaded into your system.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are unsupported applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Goin' To The Chapel

Wedded bliss. A celebration of love. Weddings are a huge day in the life of two people who pledge to unite in love forever. Guest come and wish the couple well with toasts that bestow wisdom and blessings. It is a cause for celebration and a memory for the ages. Yes, marriage can be a great send off to the rest of your life.

But what if it's not what you thought it was going to be? What happens when-you know- like you know deep in the pit of your soul- that the decision to marry is not right? And you confide your fears to people you love and trust, listen to their advice, then convince yourself that you are doing it for all the right reasons. Because you convince yourself that you can't get out of it. Then what? Do you then become a statistic? And the "how long is this gonna last?" pool begins amongst your closest allies. Sorry, but we all saw this coming a mile away.

What happens when you cry, like a lot? And you are really not into the whole planning thing and you start drinking, like a lot, and lounging on the sofa way too long and sort of give up. It's probably a warning sign that this "wedding thing" is not for you. Is there pressure from your partner? From your family? Financial obligations involved in the wedding? I'm thinking you gotta play the "in the long run" game. What stings now will soon heal. And believe me-you are not the first one to feel this way. I looked this whole phenomenon up today and the best quote I read was, "If you have to ask the question, 'Should I be getting married?', I think you know what the answer is."

Weddings are not for the faint of heart and quite possibly not for you.

At this time.....

Destination Wedding Day

Hey Bloggers!

I'm off to somewhere I've never been before to witness a family wedding. I'm off to Key West Florida today to enjoy the wedding of My Guy's niece to a wonderful man we have come to call family.

Even though I've been to Florida about 6947 times, I've never traveled to "the southern most part of the US", the Florida Keys. We are looking forward to enjoying a wonderful weekend relaxing and celebrating with close friends and family.

For me it couldn't have come at a worse or better time. Better, because I need a break and an opportunity to unplug. Worse because, well....I'll tell you next week. Exciting things coming my way and I can't wait to share them with you when I get back.

But today is about them. The happy couple and their happy guests in a gorgeous destination, toasting their gorgeous life together. I wish them love, joy and peace as they come together.

Raise a glass this weekend and toast your loved ones, bloggers! And count your blessings.

Good Guys Don't Always Finish Last

I'm a sucker for a love story.

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively pulled off a top secret wedding last night, in Mt Pleasant, SC, leaving the voracious celebrity paparazzi collectively scratching their heads. I love it when the good guys win one. Sources report that Florence of Florence + the Mechanics performed at the reception at Boone Hall Plantation and only friends and family of the couple were in attendance.  

Haha! Take that Harvey Levin and the boys at TMZ!

People magazine allegedly broke the story, which probably means that the couple, Lively, 25 and Reynolds, 35, more than likely gave them the exclusive on the pics which I'm sure will be coming to a newsstand near you shortly.

Here's hoping Reynolds and Lively are the longest married and happiest couple in Hollywood. I think they deserve it. Reynolds dodged a bulllet when he married Scarlett Johnasson in 2008 and she dumped him and divorced in 2010. Of course she lived to deeply regret it. How will she ever forgive herself?

I think he made out much better in the deal. Don't you?

Look And Find

So my BFF sent me this and it totally stumped me for a few days. 

It was entitled "The Hokey Pokey". 

Tell me what do you see?

Maybe I'm Not As Old As I Think

Sometimes I think age really is a state of mind. Most days, I like to think of myself as a young woman, and there are other days when I feel really old. None more so than after a night of partying and drinking.

My nephew got married this weekend and it was a family affair; a real cause for celebration and we ripped it up hard. I had a grand old time and drank champagne all night and sure enough I was feeling it the next morning. I spent the afternoon on the sofa eating hangover food, napping and watching football. I almost hated myself for being so fricken useless and almost resigned myself to the fact that I just don't bounce back like I used to.

Then I talked to some of the other, YOUNGER, members of my family and they all reported that they were wrecked for the day yesterday too. I'm not sure I hit it quite as hard as they did, but I kept up and you could say that we were part of the group of the few left standing. Heck, I wasn't that bad. I figured it was Sunday and if there was a day to take it easy this was the day. Yeah, I could have got up and ran some errands and cooked and cleaned yesterday, but I really didn't have to and I decided to give myself permission to chill and recover.

It was then that I realized that maybe I'm not as old as I think.

This was a great revelation!

Maybe I still got it, and maybe the youngsters could learn a thing or two from us older, more experienced family members.


And no matter how hard you hit it, and how old you are; it's simple, you play, you pay.

The difference? Now my bank account is a lot bigger.

Wacky Wedding Wishes

So I'm really excited Bloggers, cuz this weekend My Boy, my nephew is taking a walk down the aisle with the love of his life! Yup, and he's the first one of my 11 nieces and nephews, so we are gonna par-tay into the wee hours of the night and celebrate.

Having just been at this rodeo myself, I decided to dedicate today's post to the glorious couple and lighten up the mood. Lord knows things can get pretty hectic for the happy couple right about now.

From this point on, whatever happens; happens, and something tells me it couldn't be as bad as this:

I'm not quite sure what to say about them, except that the favors at the wedding were vials of the couple's blood.

Vegas already has odds on the length of this union.

This guy has decided to take matters into his own hands, quite literally.

This is definitely Frick and Frack at the reception. "No mom, I wasn't drinking at all."

Enthusiasm has it's rewards. He's going to be a tiger tonite.

This little guy is just checking for wardrobe malfunctions...

And no matter what, remember that we, your family and parents were young once too.

We would never do anything to embarrass you.

Have a great weekend Bloggers! Dedicate it to your signifigant other, and celebrate.

Congrats to My Boy and his bride!

That's A Wrap

Congrats to Wills and Kate for getting it done so that we can all go back to a normal life now that its over!

Stunning, elegant and regal were the words that came to mind as I turned my TV on at 6:15 EST to catch the precise moment the couple exchanged vows. Kudos to me for impeccable timing.

Happiest are the days of a wedding and I wish them much love, patience and happiness as they enter into this blessed union. I pray the press of the world have learned their lesson from Prince William's mum, Diana, and please respect the dignity and the need for privacy of another human being's life. But I fear they won't and Kate hunt is just beginning. The paparazzi have their new sacred cow.

I wondered what Diana might look like in the pews of the Abbey and how vibrant her smile might have been as her boy became a married man. The bit of mischief in her younger son Harry's eyes gave way to the warmth of his mother and her several breaks. with protocol. Indeed, she was there. I couldn't help but sense the "commoner" in Wills bride, and I hope she never looses that quality as she ascends into her inevitable position of the most photographed woman in the world.

Let the celebrations begin, and hoist a cold one to the Royal Couple today.

Well done.

A Modern Fairy Tale

From the ba doom boom files:

• Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.



• My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That...
  
  


• Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
  



• The rest cheat in Europe.
  



• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  
  


• If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.

• When I married MR. RIGHT, I didn't know his first name was ALWAYS!




Here's wishing the Royal couple the very best of luck!

Halloween Hoax

Ok, so they can just call it now. Call it for what it is, already, a hoax.

Cmon, I question whether these two are even real, let alone married. She's a pop princess, second only to Lady Gaga, in the "Rule the Pop World" category, and he's just plain weird. Seriously, I believe he really is the character, Aldous Snow, the one he played in,"Forgetting Sarah Marshall".

They say there is someone for everyone, so if this is true, I think these two have YET to find their someone. Call me cynical, but I just think there is no way Little Miss Type A married that big heap of mess. For all the success that Russell Brand has had, and he's sort of riding a wave of cinematic success right now, what are the odds that Katy will hang around when the Russell Brand train comes to a halt?

What do I know? They could be the worlds longest survivng couple ever, but the odds are heavily stacked against them, especially if they both continue finding success in Hollywood.

Let's get a pool together and predict how long these two will last. I'm serouis.

$2o bucks says six months, or at least until after the release of his next movie, Arthur.

July Moves Forth

Happy Forth Bloggers!

I'm taking off today, (after work) to Cape Cod for a long weekend to observe the holiday with my loved ones. I'll be back here on Tuesday morning.

I want to give a BIG BLOGGER shout out to my friends Cora and Scope as they enter into the bonds of holy matrimony on Saturday!!!! I'm so happy for you both. God Bless and enjoy every minute of your big day. (I wish I could have been there)

I also want to say best wishes to my best friend, who decided to pull off her wedding this weekend. It all happened in a week and sometimes that 's the best way to do it. I'll be there to witness your moment, shed a few happy tears and toast you and your groom into a new life. I can't wait.

As July moves forth, life does too and we come to realize how precious it really is when you share it with someone you love.

So share your forth with the love of your life and cherish the memories!

Peace.