Miss 'Merica

So our newly crowned Miss America thinks that Tom Brady is a cheater? Actually-she said that she thought that My Tommy was a cheater if there was a question, but the media blew that way out of context. What she did say when asked if Brady should be held accountable for deflating footballs was,

"Did he cheat? That’s a really good question, I’m not sure," Miss Georgia, 21, replied. "I think I’d have to be there to see the ball and to feel it to make sure if it was deflated or not deflated, but if there was any question there then yes, I think he cheated. If there was any question to be had I think that he definitely cheated and he should have been suspended for that. That’s not fair."

The social media backlash was not kind. Dumb? Maybe, but Miss America 2015 Betty Cantrell's answer is not the dumbest thing a beauty pageant contestant has ever said. 

Here are some of the greatest highlights over the years:

Jeanie Anderson, Miss Philippines 2001

Question: "If you could be beautiful and not so smart, or brilliant and not so beautiful, what would you be and why?"
Answer: "Well, I'd rather choose to be beautiful, um because, to be beautiful it's natural. But being smart you can learn...you can learn, um a lot of things...a lot of things from the experience...you can learn from a lot of things being smart."

Smart..not her strong suit. 

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007

Question: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"
Answer: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children".

Poor thing. She will never-and I mean never-live that down. 

 Miss Venezuela Irene Sofia Esser Quintero at Miss Universe 2012
Question: "If you could make a new law, what would it be? And explain why."
Answer: "I think that any leys (read laws) there are in Constitution or in life, are already made. I think that we should have, uh, a straight way to go in our similar, or, eh, in our lives as is this. For example, I'm a surfer, and I think that the best wave that I can take is the wave that I wait for it. So please do our only, eh, law that we can do. Thank you, Vegas!"

Talk about hanging loose...

We don't know when or where this Junior Miss pageant occurred, but when asked, "What is the most important event in our nation's history?" she responded, "In my opinion, Pearl Harbor, which occurred on December 7, 1941, is the most significant event in our nation's history because…because it ended the Great Depression and it forced them into the World War II…and…our country experienced patriotism and unity." At least she got the date right.

And I'm sure she was very proud of her AT LEAST coherent answer, though not accurate. 

Melissa Powell, Miss Utah 2013

She was asked about how women are continuing to earn less than men in America, and what she thinks that means for our society.

"How to create jobs right now, that is the biggest problem right now, and I think especially the men are seen as leaders of this and so we need to figure out how to create education better so we can solve this problem," Powell answered.

I have to cut these ladies at least a little slack. These are some serious high pressure situations and let's face it, they are not on that stage to "change the world" with their minds. But they know they are going to be asked a question involving current events, so it might help to pick up a newspaper once in  while. 

Or squeeze a football....  

Happy Halloweenie!

Happy Friday bloggers! Today is not just Friday, it's HALLOWEEN!! We were discussing last night how Halloween is a really huge deal if you are between the ages of 5-12. It's probably the second most anticipated day of the year for a kid.

Proof that some of us never really grow up, here are some hilarious examples of halloween creativity at it's finest!

Couple o' boobs, these two. The one on the right is kinda pretty? No?

This is great! But the toilet dude? He's going to get a serious quad workout tonite. And the other guy?
He's going to catch a serious cold tonite?

Stop it....that is the cutest/funniest thing I have ever seen..

Gross...just gross, but the further I look at it the more I think its genius. Yeah, gross, but genius.

Bwahahahahah! Really? Bwahahahaha!

I gotta give the guy props for creativity. I love it! It may not work so well with the ladies though. It's like he's putting the cart before the horse. You know what I mean?

Now this guy? He's got it all figured out. If he finds any takers he's gonna have a good time tonite. 

AND THE BEST FOR LAST:

I'm sorry, but I LOLed so hard when I saw this. This is so wrong on so many levels but you gotta love it when someone laughs right in the face of life. Imagine the two of them looking at this photo 20 years from now! I just think this is hilariously wrong, but hilarious nonetheless. 

Happy Halloween bloggers! Have a safe and happy evening and take a moment to appreciate this all Hallows Eve, a unique American tradition. 

Marcel Is Back

Just so cuuuute...

See Buddy

SEE BUDDY. 

BUDDY IS A GENTLE, LOVING WHITE BOXER WHO IS HAPPY AND PEACEFUL ALL OF THE TIME.

SEE AMOS.

AMOS IS BUDDY'S BROTHER AND ALPHA MALE IN THE PACK. ALTHOUGH AMOS IS ABOUT THE QUARTER OF THE SIZE OF BUDDY, HE IS MOST DEFINITELY THE BOSSY BOSS.

AND THIS BOTHERS BUDDY..LIKE A LOT. SO MUCH SO, THAT BUDDY THINKS AMOS IS A BIG, FAT, PAIN IN THE ASS. 

SEE BUDDY SLEEPING.

AT NIGHT, BUDDY WOULD DREAM OF WAYS TO GET EVEN WITH AMOS. HE SECRETLY WAS HOPING FOR ALIENS TO COME AND ABDUCT AMOS. 

SEE AMOS WAKING UP.

AMOS ISN'T EXACTLY SURE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM LAST NIGHT, BUT HE HAD CRAZY NIGHTMARES ABOUT BEING MEAN TO BUDDY. ITS LIKE HE SUDDENLY KNOWS HE BETTER BE NICE TO BUDDY OR ELSE...LIKE SERIOUSLY.

BUDDY, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAS NO IDEA WHY AMOS IS ACTING SO SUBMISSIVE...MUST BE BUDDY'S SWEET AND CHARMING PERSONALITY. 

YES,THAT MUST BE IT!  GOOD BOY BUDDY! 

Friday Foolishness

A loser is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in Daytona where he tells him that he will score for sure. The loser enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pick up lines that he acquired from his friend. 

The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says " OK, I’ll spend the night with you, but I’ve got to let you know up front that I’m on my menstrual cycle. The loser looks at her and says " That’s OK. I’ll follow you on my Moped. 



Happy Friday bloggers! Be nice to the losers...someday they might be your boss.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/bornloserjokes.html

Blonde Delay

There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. 

They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed." 

They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.

Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"


http://kickasshumor.com/funny-joke/2966/there-are-three-moms-a-brunette-a-redhead-and-a

He's Bringing Sexy Back

I'm sorry but sexy is sexy is sexy is sexy.

So today I'm sayin' "Hey hey" to Michael Stray. That would be Michael Strahan, the retired NFL football star who is now Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host on the morning talk show"Live with Kelly and Michael".

I like Michael enough. He is extremely affable, articulate and as co host a great addition to morning TV. But here's the thing: I hardly ever watch that show. I just so happened to catch it the other day when the TV was left on and I saw the video above, live.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.
Dead sexy.

Sorry fellas, the dude got game and I'm a sucker for a big strong man. Mama likey, and I now see Mr. Strahan in a completely different light.

And he's looking good.

Now don't get me wrong, I won't be lusting after him cuz there's only one man that makes my heart go pitter patter for real (and his name is NOT Tommy). No thanks, I'm all set in the sexy man department. All I'm saying is sexy is sexy is sexy.

And Damn! if Michael Strahan ain't sexy.

I Like Your Style

Who is this guy? This guy is Psy.

He's the funky, fresh Korean K-pop star that is right now sweeping America by storm. Just last night he performed at the VMA Awards, and he recently signed on with Justin Beiber's manager to make history and become the first Korean pop star to break into the American music industry.

His trademark "Gangnam Style" video has over 120 million views, and that number continues to grow every day. Best of all, he's got some Bean town roots as he attended both Boston University and Berklee College of Music.

Check it out bloggers, as a kick start to the weekend and let your own "Gangnam Style" shine.

Peace.

Foxy Brown

EDITOR"S NOTE: Today's post is not a political endorsement of any candidate running for office or any political party. Today's post is just an observation/opinion on physical appearance and has no political agenda whatsoever.


Ok, so can we talk freely?

When did Scott Brown become so foxxy?? I'm watching my TV and I spy a Brown for Senate ad and I'm suddenly thinking. 'damn, that Scott Brown is handsome'. Of course, the ad portrays him as an everyday kind of guy who folds laundry and takes to the road to speak to the people, but I can't stop thinking that the guy is hot. Shame on me.

As a political figure, I'll keep my Scott Brown opinions to myself, but if he's speaking to a group of ladies, I'll wager that he's got ALL of their attention. I'm not sure that is a good or a bad thing, because during that speech, I'm sure 90% of those ladies aren't quite getting his whole message. Yeah, they're thinking what I was thinking and, "What was that you said again? Never mind."

It's true that Scott Brown got some mad swagger these days. Is it because he is a US Senator and he splits his time between Washington and the state of Massachusetts and has tons of photo ops with important and influential people? It can't hurt, and that's what I'm talking about here today. Physical beauty=opportunity. Shallow, but true. Now with all that attention, I have to ask the question if attention=votes? And in an election year, when the women's vote is highly respected and sought after, I wonder if Foxy Brown here has a slight advantage in the voting booth.

As my dad would say; maybe yes, maybe no.

I'd hate to think that women were that shallow.

Little Larry

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ...

Harry's Willy

Ok, so really?

Big fricken whoop. Harry got caught showing his willy in Vegas while on what was reported to be a drunken escapade. Again, big fricken whoop.

Yes, he's third in line to the throne. Yes, he's a British Royal. Yes, he's got a certain image to protect, but at 27 he's a young guy who made a slight error in judgement. Not unlike most single, young guys his age.

Where's the scandal? Looks to me like he was having a good time and feeling comfortable in his own skin. At least he was covering "the crown jewels". If he were a married man, yup, huge scandal. If he were on a mission to the US, to speak about sexual abstinence, yes, a disgraceful turn of events. But the Prince never claimed to be a choir boy and no he isn't any of those things.

His crime? He got caught with his pants down by a cell phone and he just happens to be Queen Elizabeth's grandson. My question is where was Palace security inside that Las Vegas hotel room?

I guess when you are the late Princess Diana's son, the most beloved Royal to date, and your public persona is far more important than the charity work that you do and good that your celebrity brings to a cause, it's not ok to get your freak on naked with some skank in a hotel room.

Really?

Yeah, cuz when you're Prince Harry what happens in Vegas stays on your resume forever.

Sad Or Smokin'? You Decide.

So in trolling the interwebs I come across this video that has me totally perplexed. I'm not sure if this is sad or smokin' hot.  

Check out this old dude in the middle of a hot happening Vegas pool party bash.

My first thought was "you gotta be kidding me". My second thought, "Dude is workin' it though."

Is this sad? Or Smokin'? You decide.

Good Grief America

So the other day, the cable guy came to my house to update my cable boxes. While he was there he checked the DVR service by recording a random program. When I checked later, I noticed that he had recorded the new afternoon program from Good Morning America called, "Good Afternoon America". I was psyched because I was curious about it so I sat down to watch it.


 Being a loyal GMA viewer, this new program, featuring Lara Spencer and Josh Elliot, I thought would be a younger, hipper, extension of the Good Morning America format I have become accustomed to. Boy was I disappointed! 


 I couldn't believe what I watched. To put it bluntly: it was stupid TV. It was all about fluff. Jammed with celebrity gossip, segments about flirting at work, hair tips for frizzy hair and celebrity interviews and even a game called "Marry, Ditch, Kill." which everyone knows is just a PG rated version of the "Marry, F*ck, Kill" game. It was ridiculous. 


Now I know what you are thinking.You're thinking that someone like me would love this new format, right? Wrong. I like a bit of fluff sprinkled in with my news and smart interviews, but this? This is embarrassing. Lara Spencer navigates the fluff quite beautifully, which speaks more to her professionalism than her ease with the subject matter, but poor Josh Elliot. I think even he knows that this is borderline silly. He looks like a fish out of water. 


Is this what ABC thinks women at home want to watch? Do they think the average American stay at home woman is dumb? Or do they want to make her that way? Because this is quite literally the dumbing down of America.

Isn't It Ironic?

http://failblog.org/tag/irony/

Friday Funny

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

A Curious Predicament

Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient: "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient: "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

How You Doin'?

Today's Special: Kiddie Crows Feet

Walmart, besides being home to my favorite crayzee's, will launch a new line of cosmetics for the Tween set, girls aged 8-12 called GeoGirl.

Cute? Yes. Crazy? Maybe.

People like me, proprietors of cosmetic products, should be squealing with delight at the prospect of this little gem aimed at tweens, as it makes future cosmetic buyers in training. This equates to future loyal cosmetic customers. All good right?

But something about this seems wrong. Maybe it's what's offered in the line of products that has me in a tizzie. The line boasts to using all natural ingredients like chamomile, lavender and white willow bark to exfoliate and antioxidants. (which fight free radicals-pollutants found in the air) This all seems a little mature, wouldn't you say?

A cleanser? I'm all for that. Learning to take proper care of you skin is a valuable thing and anything that helps young girls start properly cleansing their skin I'm endorsing, but a "mineral blush, liquid2power shadow, feather-lash mascara and a face shimmer". A face shimmer? Why does an eight year old's face need to shimmer? And a feather mascara? What's next? Diamond encrusted false eyelashes? And for the soccer set, matching team color blushes and lip sticks?

Listen, I realize that little girls will always want to experiment with make-up like thier moms, but I'm thinking that that's where it should stay. We run the risk here of sending a message to these girls that they would look better with feather lush lashes, than without.

I think skin care is fine, but when you start training at 8 them to wear mascara, bronzer and eye shadow we quietly create an entire generation of 10 year old Tammy Faye Baker types.

"Susie, it's time to get the bus for school."

"Ok mom, let me just finish putting my face on."

Not good.

Kids Think The Damnedest Things.

This has got to be the greatest stuff I have seen in a long time... I love kids.

Who Knew Beaver's Mom Was A Bad-Ass?

Inspired by my blogger friend Scott over at Zodi's Blog, I recalled this epic piece of cinematic history.

Remember this?

I guess I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue....