Friday Funny

A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residential zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. 

The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman. 

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blondepolicewomanjoke.html

Candy's Weekly Wank

"You've just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"

"Phil"

"But you named the last eleven Phil"

"Yeah its great. I say, "Phil go clean the room", they all go clean their room. I say, "Phil come for dinner", they all come for dinner."

"But what if you only want one of them?"

"Oh! Then I call them by their last name."