"Can We Talk?"

I'm devastated by yesterday's news of Joan Rivers passing.

She was one of a kind, an icon, a pioneer in the industry. She will be mourned and missed by all who loved and knew her. And I was one of them. Joan went before she possibly should have, the result of a routine throat surgery she probably didn't need. Tragic. I was fortunate enough to see her in person last November and I'm glad I did. She was spectacular! Pure Joan, uncensored and politically incorrect but nonetheless hilarious and heartwarming. I am a huge fan and today I'm sad she has left us.

The piece below debuted here on August 21, 2012. I was already Joan Rivers fan but gained a new found love/appreciation for the woman that was Joan Rivers when I watched the 2010 documentary on Joan, "Piece of Work".

The Joan Ranger's salute you. RIP Joan.

She Hates Everybody

I'm a Joan Ranger.

I love Joan Rivers. Yes, I know, she's crass, mean, insulting and mostly inappropriate, but she's hilarious and she always leaves me laughing.

She is currently starring in two shows; one reality show on WE TV called "Joan and Melissa" and "Fashion Police" on E.

On "Fashion Police", she is incredibly funny yet politically incorrect in her impeccably timed Joan Rivers way. She commands the floor with her panel of fashion "experts", but make no mistake, Joan is the show. It's well worth the watch.

I became a fan a couple of years ago when I came across the documentary "Joan Rivers. Piece of Work." It released in Jan 2010 and was filmed during one year of Joan Rivers life when she was 75 years old. It followed her through her crazy, schedule of appearances and performances.

This lady works. I gained an incredible appreciation for her work ethic. She was non-stop. Joan makes no bones about the fact that she has to work to support her opulent lifestyle, yet she admits to needing the work to boost her self esteem.

Notorious for her abuse of plastic surgery, Joan admits quite openly to being very insecure. She does it all too. At the time of filming, Joan was still working every day, attending several personal appearances, doing comedy shows and regularly traveling across country. A schedule that would have made even a younger person, question why. Yet Joan seemed to revel in it, and she hardly complained.

This lady is no dumb blonde, either. Fresh off her "Celebrity Apprentice" win in 2009, "Piece of Work" showed Rivers the business woman for the shrewd artisan she is. Her jewelry line is one of QVC's most successful sellers to date and that is just one of the many projects that Joan is attached to.

I hope to God that when I am her age, I have half the stamina that she has. And that's not something you can buy from a plastic surgeon. You gotta have hutzpah! Forbes has estimated Rivers net worth at $290 million, and that's a hell of a lot of hutzpah.

Say what you will about her.
She's probably already heard it and incorporated it into her act and made it ten times funnier. 

Heroine In Heaven

Nora Ephron has left the building.

And while I never knew the woman who would turn out to be the essayist, Oscar nominated screen writer and movie director of a generation, I knew her well. Or should I say she knew us well, the "us" being women everywhere. Norma had a unique gift. She could see it then she could write about it.

She could write the hell out of anything and she caught the attention of people in her profession early in her career at The Post. When she fell into Hollywood, quite by mistake, Ephron's prose was so real and funny that it was hard not to see her genius. She turned her divorce from Watergate journalist, Carl Bernstein into literary and Hollywood gold with her novel "Heartburn", which was turned into a screen play and she never looked back. Not bad when you have Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson playing out your life story. Her many screen writing credits brought her the opportunity to direct and in 1993, she landed her first hit with "Sleepless In Seattle".

She continued to succeed as woman in the exclusive boys club in Hollywood and her credits are impressive. "When Harry Met Sally", "You've Got Mail" and "Julie & Julia" to name a few. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the mind of Nora's genius. Today, as I read the articles and obits on this legendary lady, one specific essay stands out. Interesting that it was not written for Hollywood or for publication. It was written as a Commencement Address to the 1996 graduates of Wellesley College, her  alma mater. She talked about how upon her entrance to Wellesley, in the fall of 1958, there had been an article in the Harvard Crimson stereo typing women's colleges. Wellesley, it said, was a school for tunicata-(a fish who spend the beginnings of life swimming around exploring the ocean and the second part of life lying on the ocean floor breeding). Nora went on to recall how 25 years later, everyone of her classmates still remembered the definition of the tunicata.

Long story short, the world of Wellesley in those days so long ago, taught Nora and her classmates that they were in college attendance to marry success not achieve success. It would seem that Nora made a career out of proving them wrong. Be your own heroine.

And those words certainly resonate with me.

In closing her Commencement Address Nora said this, and I will remember this always and make it a mantra:

"Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope that you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women."

R. I. P. Home Voicemail

VOICEMAIL, HOME of the Daily Dandy Headquarters, after a long period of non-service on April 8, 2009. Home Voicemail was credited with keeping the Daily Dandy family informed of important messages for years, and only recently became stricken with it's long battle with redundancy and newer technology.

Born in the spring of 2001, Mr. Home Voicemail was a vital part of the everyday life of his family with family members rushing home to check in with him daily. Home Voicemail also possessed modern features that allowed his family to check in from outside the home with easy access codes and at one time boasted the best messaging service of it's kind.

Mr. Home Voicemail became stricken with inactivity over the last few years as personal cell phones, equipped with voicemail service, became more and more prevalent in society.

"It got to the point that I kept forgetting to check my home voicemail because I had my cell phone at all times," a family member said. "My home voicemail mail box would become full and it became easier NOT to delete the messages. If someone wanted me, they could get me on my cell."

A victim of a vital strain of newer technology, Mr. Home Voicemail put up a valiant fight right to the end. "I began putting my cell number on important documents like the school and the doctor's office as my contact number, " another family member remembered. "But every once in a while, I would catch something important that Home Voicemail would pick up."

Mr. Home Voicemail leaves his family of four with a substantial savings on their home phone bill, and private services will be held at the home for immediate family only. Donations can be made to AT & T Wireless: account number 463512.