"Can We Talk?"

I'm devastated by yesterday's news of Joan Rivers passing.

She was one of a kind, an icon, a pioneer in the industry. She will be mourned and missed by all who loved and knew her. And I was one of them. Joan went before she possibly should have, the result of a routine throat surgery she probably didn't need. Tragic. I was fortunate enough to see her in person last November and I'm glad I did. She was spectacular! Pure Joan, uncensored and politically incorrect but nonetheless hilarious and heartwarming. I am a huge fan and today I'm sad she has left us.

The piece below debuted here on August 21, 2012. I was already Joan Rivers fan but gained a new found love/appreciation for the woman that was Joan Rivers when I watched the 2010 documentary on Joan, "Piece of Work".

The Joan Ranger's salute you. RIP Joan.

She Hates Everybody

I'm a Joan Ranger.

I love Joan Rivers. Yes, I know, she's crass, mean, insulting and mostly inappropriate, but she's hilarious and she always leaves me laughing.

She is currently starring in two shows; one reality show on WE TV called "Joan and Melissa" and "Fashion Police" on E.

On "Fashion Police", she is incredibly funny yet politically incorrect in her impeccably timed Joan Rivers way. She commands the floor with her panel of fashion "experts", but make no mistake, Joan is the show. It's well worth the watch.

I became a fan a couple of years ago when I came across the documentary "Joan Rivers. Piece of Work." It released in Jan 2010 and was filmed during one year of Joan Rivers life when she was 75 years old. It followed her through her crazy, schedule of appearances and performances.

This lady works. I gained an incredible appreciation for her work ethic. She was non-stop. Joan makes no bones about the fact that she has to work to support her opulent lifestyle, yet she admits to needing the work to boost her self esteem.

Notorious for her abuse of plastic surgery, Joan admits quite openly to being very insecure. She does it all too. At the time of filming, Joan was still working every day, attending several personal appearances, doing comedy shows and regularly traveling across country. A schedule that would have made even a younger person, question why. Yet Joan seemed to revel in it, and she hardly complained.

This lady is no dumb blonde, either. Fresh off her "Celebrity Apprentice" win in 2009, "Piece of Work" showed Rivers the business woman for the shrewd artisan she is. Her jewelry line is one of QVC's most successful sellers to date and that is just one of the many projects that Joan is attached to.

I hope to God that when I am her age, I have half the stamina that she has. And that's not something you can buy from a plastic surgeon. You gotta have hutzpah! Forbes has estimated Rivers net worth at $290 million, and that's a hell of a lot of hutzpah.

Say what you will about her.
She's probably already heard it and incorporated it into her act and made it ten times funnier. 

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Best Of Men..

Got some bad news yesterday and I feel like laughter would be the best medicine today...

She Hates Everybody

I'm a Joan Ranger.

I love Joan Rivers. Yes, I know, she's crass, mean, insulting and mostly inappropriate, but she's hilarious and she always leaves me laughing.

She is currently starring in two shows; one reality show on WE TV called "Joan and Melissa" and "Fashion Police" on E.

On "Fashion Police", she is incredibly funny yet politically incorrect in her impeccably timed Joan Rivers way. She commands the floor with her panel of fashion "experts", but make no mistake, Joan is the show. It's well worth the watch.

I became a fan a couple of years ago when I came across the documentary "Joan Rivers. Piece of Work." It released in Jan 2010 and was filmed during one year of Joan Rivers life when she was 75 years old. It followed her through her crazy, schedule of appearances and performances.

This lady works. I gained an incredible appreciation for her work ethic. She was non-stop. Joan makes no bones about the fact that she has to work to support her opulent lifestyle, yet she admits to needing the work to boost her self esteem.

Notorious for her abuse of plastic surgery, Joan admits quite openly to being very insecure. She does it all too. At the time of filming, Joan was still working every day, attending several personal appearances, doing comedy shows and regularly traveling across country. A schedule that would have made even a younger person, question why. Yet Joan seemed to revel in it, and she hardly complained.

This lady is no dumb blonde, either. Fresh off her "Celebrity Apprentice" win in 2009, "Piece of Work" showed Rivers the business woman for the shrewd artisan she is. Her jewelry line is one of QVC's most successful sellers to date and that is just one of the many projects that Joan is attached to.

I hope to God that when I am her age, I have half the stamina that she has. And that's not something you can buy from a plastic surgeon. You gotta have hutzpah! Forbes has estimated Rivers net worth at $290 million, and that's a hell of a lot of hutzpah.

Say what you will about her.
She's probably already heard it and incorporated it into her act and made it ten times funnier.

Have You Seen Chelsea Lately?

Saturday night my girls and I went to see a live performance of Chelsea Handler. If you're not familiar with Chelsea, she is a stand-up comic, author, and TV personality with her own show on the E Channel called Chelsea Lately. Before Saturday, I had seen no more than highlights of few episodes of Chelsea Lately, (way past my bedtime) and had not read her best selling book, "Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea", (although it has been highly recommended) so I was not quite up on Chelsea's comedic "schtick". I just knew that she was funny.

What I was not prepared for was her demeanor on Saturday night. She was loaded. And I don't mean "flush with cash". No, she was full on smashed and outright nasty, but none-the-less hilarious. Drunk must be her "thing" because the fresh-faced, crude but bright and bubbly, 35 year old Chelsea on TV is not the same Chelsea uncensored on stage. No way.

The show started with a stand-up by Heather McDonald, a regular on Chelsea Lately, who was almost funnier than Chelsea. Handler then came on and it was apparent immediately that we were in for a ride. She came on carrying a drink, which we can only assume is some kind of vodka concoction. Brash, rough, crude and inappropriately hilarious, Handler almost relishes the fact that she has a drinking problem, to which a few minutes of comedy is dedicated. She also lets us know immediately that she is single and damn happy to be. And it's funny, yes.

What wasn't funny was how dark her beloved "drunk" seemed to make her. She was just plain nasty and I got the feeling that she was not entirely enjoying this. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe they ran out of vodka, but this Chelsea looked tired, worn, irritated and way more than her 35 years should look. Beside a momentary giggle, the only bright point of the entire stand-up was when she told a heckler to, "shut the F**K up".

Look at this woman. She's beautiful, smart, funny, talented and making it in Hollywood. Kudos baby! Drop the nasty drunk and you've got the Chelsea we see on TV every night. But add in some alcohol and what you get just might shock you. If the dark, nasty drunk thing is a schtick, I'm here to tell her it's not working to her advantage. If it's not, than it just may be a cry for help. Whatever the case may be, Chelsea Handler has a fan in me. And I'm sure she could care less what I think.......

If she were here, I know she'd just tell me to "shut the f**k up" anyway.

The Happy Voyeur

Let's talk a little bit about the voyeur in all of us, shall we? The word voyeur is defined by Merriam Webster.com as, "one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means". But I'm not referring to that kind of voyeur today. Sorry pervs.

Today I am referring to the kind of voyeur defined as, "a prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous". I feel quite confident saying that everybody, at one time or another, seeks the "sorid or the scandalous". It's human nature. Like it or not we are all members of a "train wreck mentality" society, so curious we find ourselves unable to look away. Sometimes to our detriment.

And you know you've done it.....

And you know someone who's told you about a situation they saw or overheard....

That's what makes this so funny.



Tom Mabe: Eavesdropping

Happy Thursday, Voyeur Nation.

Let's Get This Party Started

Before we commence with the merriment of today's contest, I want to send a shout out to all you bloggers out there who participated in this most prestigious of blogger awards and say thank you. The Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall Of Fame award is an important one because it is a contest that is done completely by the blogging community, for the blogging community. Together we choose the winners based on the nominated comments "LOL-ability".

This process takes a bit of time, so I might suggest you read the entries and vote during some down time in your day. Or read, consider, then come back later and vote. You won't be sorry, because these bloggers are falt out hilarious, and who couldn't use a GREAT laugh today?

I recieved 12 equally hilarious posts and comments for nomination to the Hall of Fame. That being said, my job, to whittle them down to only 10, was NOT easy. Then, you factor in that what may strike some as comical may not be as funny to another, and you begin to see my conundrum. It is also the beauty of this democratic process.

So, taking into consideration the fact that there is so much good stuff here, I decided to post them all for consideration on the ballot. (can you blame me?)

The guide lines for the election are as follows:

• The nominations are numbered so that you can correspond your vote with your favorite numbered comment nominee on the ballot.
  


• The blogger who nominated the other is named first, then the URL linking you to the post with the nominee's comment and then the actual comment nominated. *a word of caution: I got so lost in all the other hilarious comments on the posts that I had to keep going back and checking to see who was nominated. Better to stay the course, for the integrity of your vote-then go back and re-read later.
  


• Voting ends at 3am EST tonight. You may vote for as many nominees as you like-and let's employ the honor system here-but you may only vote for a nominee ONCE.
  


• The voting is open to ALL bloggers. You need not have nominated someone in order to cast a vote.
  


• The winner will be revealed Tuesday morning.

Without further adieu, I present to you the NOMINEES: (in no specific order)

1. Cora nominated Scope:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2008/12/dear-santa-part-2.html

Scope said:"Dear Santa;

Could you add "Nanny Cam" to my wish list, if you know what I mean?

Dude, you so owe me a solid after last year's "Mr. Microphone" incident.

Thanks,Scope"

On a side note: this tidbit of hilarity may be the starter of the greatest blogger love story ever! As the future Mrs. Scope said in her own words:
"(And this is the IMPORTANT one as this is the comment which kicked off our relationship. In fact if he hadn't said that, we might never have even met. We call it "THE comment" 'cuz it is hands down the most powerful comment ever uttered in all of Blog World!!!! :-))"

2. Candy nominated Gwen:

http://candysdailydandy.blogspot.com/2008/12/dear-old-aunt-flo.html

Gwen said: "A year or so ago I ran into Aunt Flo's ex-husband, Uncle IUD, and I haven't seen her since. Uncle IUD is a little "stuck-up" but as long as he keeps her far away from me, we're cool."

3. Scott Oglesby nominated Pammy Girl:

http://zodiblog.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/ok-so-im-broke-and-homeless/#comments

Pammy Girl said: “Maybe you should get a ridiculous haircut, marry Jon Gosslin, have a litter of kids, exploit them on national television, abuse your dogs, and then become Jewish. You’d be tabloid fodder!”

4. Cora nominated Words, Words, Words:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2009/03/wordless-wednesday-lewd-lava-lamp.html

Words said: "After reviewing all the comments on this post, I have decided to legally change my name to Lava Lamp."

5. ON THE SAME POST AS ABOVE Cora nominated Scope:

http://lovelettersbycora.blog"spot.com/2009/03/wordless-wednesday-lewd-lava-lamp.html

Scope said: '... FYI - When I turn on my lava lamp, it take forever to heat up, but when it does, there's just a massive spew that erupts forth. Then it takes like, anothe 45 minutes before it gets going again."

6. Scope nominated Moooooog 35:

http://scope-tech.blogspot.com/2009/11/here-puzzle.html

Moooooog 35 said: "Worst. Email address. Ever.

7. Candy nominated Beckeye:

http://candysdailydandy.blogspot.com/2009/09/moe-larry-and-dr-phil-stooges-of-news.html

Beckeye said: "I wish Kanye had come out and said:YO DR. PHIL, I DIG YOUR MUSTACHE AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT JOYCE BROTHERS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TV PSYCHOLOGISTS OF ALL TIME!!!!"

8. Cora nominated Words, Words, Words:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2009/08/bog-of-eternal-stench.html

Words said: "I'm glad you got your revenge, but as usual it's the innocent bystanders that are always war's true victims."

9. Beckeye nominated Doc:

http://thepopeye.blogspot.com/2009/10/perhaps-i-need-to-be-tucked-in-eh.html

Doc said: "I'd be glad to read you a bedtime story. Go put on your footie pajamas and I'll read, "How Good Little Girls Go Wrong And Get Knocked Up By Celebrities". I'm not sure it will put you to sleep but the pictures are very graphic! Doc"

10. Joanie nominated Recovering Actor:

http://joanies-random-rambling.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-very-first-totally-awkward-tuesday.html

Recovering Actor said: "I haven't gotten over it yet... still scarred for life.And for the record, that pattern doesn't look good on ANYONE. I also had a giant bow on my butt. I forgot how awkward I looked at the age 11... What a weird wedding. It was the only time I've ever been in a wedding party. And I hope i don't have to snap anyone's crotch the next time I'm in a wedding party..."

11. Gwen nominated Son Of A Thomas:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2009/08/id-still-make-out-with-him-sorry-shil.html

Son Of A Thomas said: "Sources close to SOAT say the conversation between Clinton and Kim Jong went like this:

"Bill: "So what do you say?"

Kim: "I no see rut you mean."

Bill: "Like I said, whip it out and slap it on the table. The bigger one gets the girls. It's like rock paper sissors man."

Kim: (Lowers eyes) Just take the girls."

12. Cora nominated Scope:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2009/05/coracopia.html

Scope said:

"Eating Cora?

Sticky?Sweet?

Lying on the sofa with pants undone?

People, I think she is trying to kill me."

13. Cora nominated Beckeye:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2009/06/tmi-thursday-gee-i-hope-this-doesnt.html

Beckeye said: "You are like the Tara Reid of the blogging world."

14. Scope nominated ~E:

http://scope-tech.blogspot.com/2009/10/october-national-breast-cancer.html

~E said: " Now if you should perhaps host a contest till the end of the month where for every (decently covered) boob/bra shot you get you'll donate like a dollar to cancer research, I might be inclined to join."

(which Scope did and raised $50.00 for Breast Cancer Research)

So there you have it!! Vote now and Vote often and good luck to all the nominees!! Voting will end at 3am tonight, so make sure you vote!!

This Is It

Ahh, the comment.

It's the fuel to the blogger fire, and the love that keeps our blogger hearts pumping. We write and we wait, needing that tiny confirmation that someone is out there reading our words. The comment is, in short, the crack in our proverbial crack pipe. And once you get one comment hit, you're hooked.

As bloggers:

We need the comment.

We covet the comment.

We have to have the comment.

And when the comment makes you laugh so hard, you nearly choke on your saliva, you know you've just hit blogger nirvana. That's what all this hub bub is about. Giving back to your fellow bloggers, and showing some BIG BLOGGER LOVE.

Welcome to the 2nd Annual Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Hall Of Fame.

The Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame works like this:

1. Post a comment in the comment section of this blog post with only the name of your blogger Hall of Fame nominee and the link to your site where his/her comment is posted. You may nominate more than one blogger for consideration, but their comments had better be knee slapping hilarious!

2. I will retrieve the comments and, depending on the response I get, whittle down the nominees and post the top ten on Monday. The post will be up all weekend; the deadline is 12am Sunday, Nov 22. That should give you plenty of time to come up with the good ones and get the word out. And spread the word people, there is so much talent that needs appreciation out there. Let's show our blogging community we appreciate what they do!

3. If all goes smoothly, on Monday, after I post the top 10 for consideration, I will post a ballot on the Daily Dandy's sidebar and we will ALL choose the winner by voting, with the final results to be announced on Tuesday. So Nominate now and nominate often!!!

I will go first and give you an example from my list of legendary comments:

There are so many to choose from, and since I can only post ten, (and it's MY contest), I feel I have to nominate two, because I just couldn't choose between these gems.

1. I wrote a post titled "Moe, Larry, and Dr. Phil, The Stooges Of The News". I talked about the ridiculous over saturated news programs, specifically Larry King Live, and the controversy surrounding the Kanye West/Taylor Swift debacle. I also expressed my disdain for "psychological expert" Dr. Phil showing up on Larry's show, to give us his take on the "Kanye Gate."

Becks blew me, and (everyone else) away with this comment.....

"I wish Kanye had come out and said:YO DR. PHIL, I DIG YOUR MUSTACHE AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT JOYCE BROTHERS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TV PSYCHOLOGISTS OF ALL TIME!!!!"

2. I wrote a post entitled "Dear Old Aunt Flo". I wrote of my "monthly visitor" as my dear old Aunt, that always seemed to visit on NOT the most timely of occasions.

Gwen one of my blogger favorites said...

"A year or so ago I ran into Aunt Flo's ex-husband, Uncle IUD, and I haven't seen her since. Uncle IUD is a little "stuck-up" but as long as he keeps her far away from me, we're cool."

See how FUNNY!!!! And it's really easy too!

So there you have it, the first two nominations for The Daily Dandy's Comment Content Hall Of Fame.

So let's have a good old laugh this weekend and nominate, nominate, nomintate!!!

Then come back on Monday and we will all vote, vote, vote!!

Show your civic blogger pride.

Comment Crack

It's back, by popular demand!

The time has finally come to crown a new King of the Comment in the 2nd Annual Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Hall of Fame. (loud crowd applause)

Scour the archives, because this is your chance to show your favorite commenter some big love. For those of you who weren't around last year, we crowned the King of Comments to be the legendary, McGone, who has since "McGone'd" from the bloggersphere. Still the King in our hearts and forever in theComment Hall of Fame, McGone occasionally makes his prescence be known with his usual razor wit comment, and I wax a little nostalgic whenever I see his comments. Ahh, those were the good old days.

BUT, as is the case here at The Daily Dandy, nothing here is without a flair for the dramatic. It was a hotly fought race with the talent abound, right down to the finish. Those two blogger dark horses, Beckeye and Dr. Zibbs, would not be denied!!! The victory separated the three of them by a mere vote or two, with Becks and Zibsy SHARING 1st runner up duties.
"I thought for sure Zibbs would come up lame," Beckeye said in her post-contest interview. "But that sly Yak held on and kept us laughing."

And with so much new talent out there in the sphere, this could be any one's crown for the taking.

So here's how it works:

Tomorrow I'll post the starting post with the rules and regs-the contest itself-and leave it up all weekend for you all to scour your archives and make your nominations.

On Monday WE will all vote-the King Of the Comments is a democratic process-and on Tuesday the winner will be crowned.
Heck, I might even offer the winner a prize this year

Read here if you want a look at how this works from last year. There are some big blogger names!

So if you're planning on playing, it's game on baby!! And even if you're not playing, you can still read the nominations, laugh your butt off and vote for the winner.

Start spreading the word.....

Today's Special: Cheap Laughs

Sorry to "cheap out" on you two days in a row with a short post, but I am embarking on a new exercise regimen this morning and need to focus because in "shape" is not a adjective I would use to describe myself at this moment. Lord help me.

Anyway, My Guy is away on bizness in the great city of Philly. He went to the Flyers game last night and told me that he saw no less than a dozen people wearing these around the city.

Gotta love a city with a sense of humor.

You Little Tease

Yesterday, that blogging extraordinaire super star, my friend BeckEye dropped a comment on my post about Larry King that caused me to laugh out loud, quite literally. Of course this robust guffaw sent my family into the office to see what the hilarity was all about. And its not the first time that Becks has tickled my funny bone via blog comments. No, no. In fact Becks, you might say, is the "pseduo" reigning co-champ of the prestigious Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame, by way of being last year's runner up. But we'll talk more about that in a second.

When I saw Becks comment I immediately decided to save it for nomination for the Hall of Fame game, then realized, if you weren't blogging with me last November, you will have no idea what I'm talking about. Which means that small tidbits of comment gold are floating around the bloggersphere getting lost in cyberspace. And we can't have that now, can we??

So, if your new to the game, I'll give you the 411.
By now you all know why we do what we do-we blog because we love it! But what fuels the fire, what keeps us going, the crack in the pipe of blogging is the comment. And sometimes they are so funny that you nearly pee you pants from laughing. Last November I held the First Annual Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame which celebrates the brilliance and comedy of the blog comment. And it was quite funny, indeed. I'm sure there have been more than a few that have caused you to shed a tear of laughter, so we celebrate the genius of our blog commenters with an award

I decided to give you people an early heads up and tease the 2nd annual CDD Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame slated for the first week of November. In the mean time, save those hilarious comments and come November, nominate your favorite one.

Since last years champ, McGone, the King of the comment, has sadly retired from his blogging days and is unable to preform his champion duties, that leaves last years co-runners up, BeckEye and Dr Zibbs as reigning co-champs. To see what all the hub bub is about click here, and if you want to see Becks brilliantly hilarious comment from yesterday click here.

And save those comments for November, because a good laugh is always ezactly what the doctor ordered!

Stay tuned .......

"If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?"

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

=0 A

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

Ben Stiller Is A Funny Dude

Saturday night we were having a rousting debate over which Ben Stiller movie is the funniest. We had just finished watching 2007's Farelley brother movie, "The Heartbreak Kid". While I thought the movie was funny, I didn't think it was one of Ben's best and a debate ensued. It would seem that in the last decade, Ben Stiller has emerged as an everyman, funnyman and as such, he has appeared in some of the best known comedies in recent history.

I did a little research and sure enough, this is a topic that has been hotly debated on the internets. I found many lists ranking Stiller's movies from best to worst; problem is I don't agree with any of them. Here's why.

The majority of lists top with the number one movie as:

Zoolander- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Derek Zoolander, a self absorbed male model who begins to question his shallow existence as finds himself suddenly "out of favor" in the fashion world, replaced by a younger modeling rival, played by Owen Wilson. Personally, I think this movie was RIDICULOUS, over-acted and insanely silly, (like almost all Ben Stiller movies, which is undoubtedly the point). The positive on this one is that I did manage to get through the entire movie. Just barely, but not without thinking that was two hours of my life that I wanted back. His greatest movie ever??? That shit is just whack.

There's Something About Mary- This is one I whole-heartily agree with and this would most certainly be second on my list as well. Classic, hilarious with a great supporting cast, Matt Dillon has always been a douchebag, but who knew he could perfect his douchebaggery in this movie. The icing on the cake: Brett Favre and the entire cast's rendition of "Build me up Buttercup" during the credits.

Tropic Thunder-A great comedic film, but I would say it was Robert Downey Jr. AND Tom Cruise that stole the show here. I may even go out on a limb and say that Tom Cruise's surprise role provided me with far more laughs than any other, rendering him the effective show stealer. A true ensemble cast effort, Stiller was good but I wouldn't say this was his 3rd best starring vehicle.

Meet The Parents- Personally, I would place this movie somewhere in the top three, as Stiller's somewhat goofy straight man played perfectly to Robert Di Nero's off kilter-ex CIA agent soon to be father-in-law. Meet The Fockers- was great as well, but I think Hollywood missed the boat with a spin off on Streisand and Hoffman's performances as Stiller's aging hippie parents. They were Jewish comedy gold.

Along Came Polly- This gets my vote for #1 top Ben Stiller movie. Two reasons: Ben Stiller and Phillip Seymor Hoffman. The shart scene alone is worth the price of admission, and the scene on the basketball court with Hoffman. Add to the equation, Alec Baldwin as his creepy, Jersey accented, foul mouthed, inappropriate boss and Hank Azaira as a hilariously accented scuba instructor who steals his wife on his honeymoon. Aniston plays spacey, flighty Polly who somehow manages to bring Stiller's wound up tight, Ruben back down to earth. The tug on my heartstrings and the fully belly laughs produced by this movie renders this Stiller vehicle my favorite.

Dodgeball- Again, a waste of two hours of my life, but Vince Vaughn's sarcastic humor saved face. Stiller?? Redonkulous.... along with a lovable cast of goofballs you end up cheering for. The best thing about Stiller here; his finely chiseled pipes. Not bad for a pukey little skinny man.

While there are many others to choose from, lets continue the debate here. What's your favorite Stiller movie?

I Can't Help Myself...It's A Sickness

It is very well documented here at the Daily Dandy, my love for Tommy. Today it would seem I'm not alone. Check out MSNBC.com's sports guy Matty Blake's hilarious take on his Tommy man crush-edness at it's finest!

My favorite is the scene showing just his leg. Dude-we (Pat's Nation) feel your pain!

Who's your man-crush? C'mon, you know you have one!!

Today's Special: Done your way

We here at the Daily Dandy are huge Anjelah Johnson fans, and "Nail Salon" previously posted here is an all time favorite.
My daughter showed this to me and we couldn't stop laughing and mimicking this comic gem. (a great bonding moment indeed)"I will CUT you" is now part of the everyday vernacular. Plus, everyone likes it done their way. Don't they? Yeahhh, I thought so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

McGone you be the McGreatest!

AND THE NEWLY CROWNED KING SAID UNTO HIS PEOPLE........IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING!

Congratulations to McGone!!! (*crowd cheering wildly*) for his big win in The Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame.
It was a great race and a BIG Daily Dandy congrats goes out to the winner and to all who were nominated.

But before all the pomp and circumstance takes place, and HRH McGone gives his acceptance speech and ascends to his Hall of Fame throne, I need to annouce the runners up.

COMMENT CONTENT COMEDY HALL OF FAME RUNNER UPS

1st runner up: Tie

BeckEye

Dr. Zibbs

This is an important role because if the winner, for any reason, can no longer perform his duties, the 1st runner up will take over and be crowned King or Queen. (If ,in fact, this does happen, I'll figure it out later.)
It was a close race, and for a while it looked like any one of these three (BeckEye, Zibbs and McGone) could take the crown.

2nd runner up: Zibbs

Zibsy pulled this one out ALL ALONE. Nice going Zibbs on your second honor in the contest.

3rd runner up: Four way tie.

Mike

Vodka Mom

Poobomber

Falwless, Suze, The Lady Who Dosen't Lunch, Whiskeymarie

There's actually more than four of you here, but what you people decide to do in the privacy of your own home's is really none of my business.

4th Runner up: Three way tie.

Slyde

Pistols at Dawn

BeckEye

Oooh BeckEye, you naughty girl! Behave...

5th Runner up: Tie

Mjenks

Whiskeymarie

Both strong multiple nominees in the competition. (I said multiple nominees, not what you were thinking. Pigs.)

6th Runner up: Tie

Word, Words, Words

Scope/Eric

Great work and congrats to you both on your first honor!

In the category of Honorable Mention the winners are as follows:

HONORABLE MENTION WINNERS

Winner:

Dr. Zibbs (*crowd cheering wildly*)

Yup, that zany guy that is number one in your program and number one in your heart's!!! Zibsy when it comes to honor you reign SUPREME!! Congrats on your third win in this competition.

1st Runner up: Tie

Gwen

Whiskeymarie

Nice work ladies, congrats to you both and to Whiskeymarie on her third honor in the competition.

2nd Runner up: Three way tie

Some Guy

Falwless, Gwen, The Lady who Doesn't Lunch

Kate

Congrats to Some Guy and Kate on thier first victories! Props to Falwless, Gwen and The Lady who Doesn't lunch, all picking up their second nods. And-by the looks of things here, it looks like you could be Some LUCKY Guy. Discuss amongst yourselves.

3rd Runner up: Tie

Anonymous

Big Ben

Both new comers to my blog! Welcome and Congrats to you both on your first nods!

4th Runner up:

The Imaginary Reviewer

And the cheese stands alone. (I mean that in the best possible way-really.) Congrats to you on your first win!

So there you have it- again, Congratulations and a BIG FAT thank you to everyone who participated. I couldn't have done it without you all!

McGone- I just want to say to you-did I not call this?!! Yes I did!! Damn, I am good. Thank Gwen for pulling that gem out of her archives! Oh wait- you already did that on yesterday's post.

Anyway, Well done and I turn the podium over to you-You Be The KING!!!!

Gentelmen (and ladies), start your engines!!!

*Please be advised, the content presented here is adult in nature and may contain the use of profanity and sexually explicit content. Content of this nature is expressed here today only for the purposes of the electoral process and not usually contained within writings posted on this site daily. Kinda.

I received 26 equally hilarious posts and comments for nomination to the Hall of Fame. That being said, my job, to whittle them down to only 10, was NOT easy. Then, you factor in that what may strike some as comical may not be as funny to another, and you begin to see my conundrum. It is also the beauty of this democratic process.

So, taking into consideration the fact that there is so much good stuff here, I decided to post the top 15 for consideration on the ballot (can you blame me?) and the other 10 for the category of Honorable Mention.

The guide lines for the election are as follows:

• The nominations are numbered so that you can correspond your vote with your favorite numbered comment nominee on the ballot.


• The blogger who nominated the other is named first, then the URL linking you to the post with the nominee's comment and then the actual comment nominated. *a word of caution: I got so lost in all the other hilarious comments on the posts that I had to keep going back and checking to see who was nominated. Better to stay the course, for the integrity of your vote-then go back and re-read later.


• Voting ends at 3am EST tonight. You may vote for as many nominees as you like-and let's employ the honor system here-but you may only vote for a nominee ONCE.


• The voting is open to ALL bloggers. You need not have nominated someone in order to cast a vote.


• The winner will be revealed Tuesday morning.

Without further adieu, I present to you the NOMINEES: (in no specific order)

#1. Falwless nominated Mike for:
http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/10/atonement.html

mike said...
I don't even think that's a real unicorn.

#2. MeLO nominated The iNDefatigable mjenks for:

http://justeasier.blogspot.com/2008/11/have-you-seen-this-yet.html

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...
Wow. I was afraid we were gonna go all Sharks and Jets there for a second.

#3. Dr Zibbs nominated Words, Words, Words for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/11/he-has-name.html

words words words said...
I say he's getting you accustomed to this form of communication so that he can fulfill his legal requirement to notify you that he's a sex offender without actually talking to you face to face.Even if that's NOT it, this is the best thing that could ever happen to your blog. I'm jealous

#4. Dr. Zibbs nominated Whiskeymarie for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/11/he-has-name.html

Whiskeymarie said...
I actually once dated a guy who basically just left me a note. He ended up being the boyfriend who didn't ever really have a job who played Nintendo all day naked, but it really did have a sweet beginning. Our first date was (and I don't say gross stuff like this often)...magical. Who cares if it's the garbageman? That means he has a steady job and will bring you all sorts of cool stuff that he found on his route, like broken chairs and unwanted babies.

#5. Candy nominated Vodka Mom for:

http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2008/11/elevatorsold-peoplethe-retarded-butt.html

Vodka Mom said...
sweet baby jesus. Finger condoms? I'd type more, but it's hard to type with one hand, while the other is protecting my a**.

#6 Gwen nominated Eric (who I am assuming is this funny dude) for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/10/marco-pollo.html

Eric said...
I'm waiting to see one of these headlines from the Post Dispatch...

Joe "Six Pack" Biden Caught Trolling for Walleye

Completely Hairless Woman Terrifies Small Children With Lack Of Eyelashes

Metropolitan St. Louis Sewer District Tells Soulard Woman – We've Taken About Enough Of Your S**t

Local Office Worker "Works From Home" on Fridays. Rest of Office Sees 15% Productivity Increase.

Angie Devastated As Brad Elopes With Her ARCH Nemesis

#7. Falwess nominated Beckeye for:

http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2008/08/whos-birthday-boy-that-looks-taller-on.html

BeckEye said...
You know that elevator that you're on has an H for "Hell," don't you?

#8 Falwess nominated Dr. Zibbs for:

http://lotsbetterthenyourblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/large-hadron-wha.html

Dr Zibbs said...
Falwless, you've got a good blog, but when it comes to Science, you don't know shit. Let me field this question. You see, when you got a proton and you want to split it..wait..there's an atom split but it's very small so when...uh..I gotta go.

* funny post Fal-equally funny comment Zibbsy; but be sure to read mjenks comment also. it was TRUE genius.

#9. Candy nominated Slyde for:

http://candysdailydandy.blogspot.com/search/label/See%20Buddy

Slyde said...the dog is just being framed by the white man...

#10. Candy nominated Poobomber for:

http://www.whiskeymarie.com/2008/11/cant-talk.html

Poobomber said...
You forgot to mention Bob likes spanking and hardcore a**play and a*al, while Mavis likes double penetration and dirty sex with strangers.

They're the perfect couple. They thank Jesus every time when Bob can pick up a hitchhiker leaving Mt. Rushmore, bring him home, tie him up, and he and Mavis can get their freak on....

*click above to read the rest. Great Stuff. BTW-you both should write a book about the life of Bob and Mavis. Good times.

#11. Gwen nominated Pistols at Dawn for:

http://katrocket.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-big-wicked-online-pageant-entry.html

pistols at dawn said...
Finally, someone using children for their intended purpose: prop comedy.

#12. Gwen nominated McGone for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/06/playing-with-our-food.html

McGone said...
Is it gross to make out with an elf?Not at all, but if you are expecting them to call you the next day, you'll be very disappointed.I'm sorry, I have to go. I have something in my eye.

#13. Fancy Schmancy nominated Dr. Zibbs for:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4010235121801086626&postID=1617990470694354356

Dr Zibbs said...
That lady is a jerk! But how funny would it have been if when you asked the kids where his mom was he was really a midge like on the Warner Brothers cartoons, "Listen seee, I'm a full grown man. Whadya talkin' about lady?"

*read further the back and forth with Fancy and Zibbs. Great stuff.

#14. The Imaginary Reviewer nominated Beckeye for:

http://imaginary-review.blogspot.com/2008/07/horoscopes.html

BeckEye said...
I went to high school with this girl who was a crazy born again Christian, and she told me that horoscopes were the "gateway" to devil worship. Well sir, talk about being able to predict the future! One night, after she told me that for the umpteenth time, I ripped her tongue out, cut her throat and offered up her blood to the Dark One. She's my zombie slave now and, gosh, we still laugh about the irony of that whole thing.

#15. Gwen nominated The Lady Who Dosen't Lunch, Falwess, Suze, and Whiskeymarie for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/search/label/I%27m%20not%20here%3B%20please%20leave%20a%20message%20and%20I%27ll%20get%20back%20to%20you%20on%20my%20return.

Falwless said...
*moves tent to back porch*
The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...
I'm very sorry. I pooped in your bushes while I was waiting.
Suze said...

Camping on your front porch - ha? I broke into your house, drank your alcohol, slept in your bed and ate the last of your Rice Krispies. Wait....you do live in New Jersey right? gulp...right?
Whiskeymarie said...
I was camping on what I THOUGHT was your porch...Your neighbors have no sense of humor whatsoever. You'd think they would have been HAPPY to come home to a passed out drunk chick in her underwear. Hmmm...maybe it was the vomit in the mailbox that they were mad about. Who can really say?

So there you have your Top 15 nominees for consideration. As I said, this was not easy so if you didn't see your favorite above, you can cast a vote for them in the Honorable Mention category.

Honorable Mention Nominees are as follows: (in no specific order)

#1. Dr Zibbs nominated Some Guy for:

http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2008/11/random-things-about-blogs-and-some.html

Some Guy said...
I actually prefer StatCounter for my statistical needs (I have used Google Analytics, too). It seems like it's much more detailed. For example, it tells me what people are wearing when they read my blog. Seriously, some of you people are pretty depraved.

#2. Gwen nominated Gwen and Whiskeymarie for:

http://www.suzelssass.com/2008/11/change.html

Gwen said...
Whiskeymarie is a man.Oh shit, that's not MY secret to tell. Oops
Whiskeymarie said...
I had something funny to say, but I was laughing so hard at what Gwen said that I forgot what it was. Oh yeah- Gwen has a "thing" for midgets, and she has webbed feet.
Gwen said...
Whiskeymarie speaks the truth; I'm a very good swimmer.

#3. Falwess nominated Dr. Zibbs for:

http://www.whiskeymarie.com/2008/11/cant-talk.html

Dr Zibbs said...
Mavis: Bob! We're on the Internet!

Bob: Did we win something?

Mavis: I don't know...it.. looks like...we're getting made fun of.

Bob: Get my gun.

#4 Candy nominated The iNDefatigable mjenks for:

http://candysdailydandy.blogspot.com/2008/10/we-interrupt-this-program-for-special.html

*don't read the whole thing-well, you can if you want to- but scroll down to the picture of Mel Gibson and read just that.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...
That chick to the left looks Jewish. You think Mel's uncomfortable?

#5. Gwen nominated Falwess for:

http://ladywhodoesntlunch.blogspot.com/2008/08/brace-yourself-i-hate-birds.html

But Falwess graciously denominated herself. I just love this post! It is hilarious and Gwen's comment is a classic to which the Lady who dosen't lunch's reply is great too! A vote here is for all three of them!

Falwless said...
I cannot stop laughing. F**K. This is way funnier than anything I have ever posted on my blog ever. In the history of ever. I may just have to rename my blog after seeing this post. Or add the addendum (except for Gifts from a Broad). S**t.I'm gonna go read it again and laugh like I've never read it before. It's always better the second time around because then you know when the good parts are coming up.God I need a life.
Gwen said:
A gaggle of Car Sh***ing F**k Knuckles destroyed the interior of my convertible once. I've had the it hand-detailed twice and that s**t won't come off in some places. The same night someone stole the instruction manual for my car out of the glove box. I didn't lock it because, really, who steals a f**king instruction manual?!? A dipsh*t who can't likely read, that's who.Oh Lady, you've got me riled up now. Look out.
The Lady Who Doesn’t Lunch said:
Gwen - It's the Elmer's glue in their diet that keeps the s**t sticking for decades. Little bastards. Calm down Gwennie - get a drink.

#6. Gwen nominated The Imaginary Reviewer for:

http://katrocket.blogspot.com/2008/08/high-four.html

The Imaginary Reviewer said...
Wow, he's playing a hand? That's impressive. Soon he'll work his way up to being a groin, then a torso, and eventually he'll be a whole boy!

#7. Gwen nominated Anonymous for:

http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/2008/11/he-has-name.html

Anonymous said...
Gwen and Brian: The first meeting.

Gwen: It's so nice to finally meet you!

Brian: (Scribble, scribble, scribble)

Gwen: You say "You have watched me from afar and have been too shy to come forward." How cute!

*click above to read the entire comment.

#8. Mr. nominated Big Ben for:

http://slopmaster.wordpress.com/2006/02/06/man-hands/#comments

· Big Ben said:

There is no doubt I would have punched him in the face.
· Big Ben said:

on second thought I don’t want to fight someone with an erection

#9. Fancy Schmancy nominated Kate for:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4010235121801086626&postID=5059078710701860162

kate said...
Ha! That is a great story!! And I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one. Last year, when my daughter was in first grade, I went to pick her up from school. Another (very proper) mother and I were discussing a play date and pick up times. I MEANT to ask "What time to you eat dinner?" Instead I asked "What time do you start drinking?" Yes, I'm afraid I did.

#10. Dr. Zibbs nominated McGone for:

http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2008/09/dude-at-wcu-not-getting-laid-this.html

McGone said...
It would really be a cherry on top if the owner said "OK, now that you have the costume on, let's practice the dance moves."

Told you this would take some time. My work here is done. Happy Voting!!

Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame

I am pretty new to the wonders of having my own blog. I started The Daily Dandy on the last day of August 2008, as a place for my unemployed butt to go and write everyday so I could hone my writing skills. 2.7 months later and ridiculously, almost everything I see or hear becomes potential fodder for my blog. Most mornings I am rushing the kids and My Guy on their way out of the house just so I can get to my beloved bloggersphere. Here the world is truly my oyster.

At first I wrote simply and for myself. I was experimenting with this new entity for my ideas. I told no one and (as all writers do) I fell in love with my words in written form up on the screen. I got no comments and I didn't care. I was happy just writing. Then it happened. I got my first comment from a blogger, Miss Liddy. She gave me those few words of encouragement and a question or two and I was inspired to work harder, knowing someone was listening. (Thanks Lids, you will always be my BFF and where ever you blog, I will follow.)

I have learned and laughed so much by reading all your blogs, especially you Zibsy;) the blog master extraordinaire. Some day's it takes me longer to read all your blogs and comment on your amazing content, than it does to post my own blog. But it's THAT important. Thank God I don't have a job!!

By now we can all relate to how the comment is like the crack that keeps us junkies going, so I decided to try out the Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame. I say, "try" because I'm not quite sure if I get enough traffic on my blog for this to work.* I may need some help with this with shout outs from Poobomber or Zibbs sites(If you guys are interested. Hell, I spend way too much time on their blogs as it is) but give a sister a chance and implore all your favorite bloggers to come over here and nominate a comment for consideration.

The Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame works like this:

1. Post a comment in the comment section of this blog post with only the name of your blogger Hall of Fame nominee and the link to your site where his/her comment is posted. You may nominate more than one blogger for consideration, but their comments had better be knee slapping hilarious!

2. I will retrieve the comments (maybe you will too) and, depending on the response I get, whittle down the nominees and post the top ten on Monday. The post will be up all weekend, the deadline is 12am Sunday, Nov 9th. That should give you plenty of time to come up with the good ones and get the word out.

3. If all goes smoothly, on Monday, after I post the top 10 for consideration, I will post a ballot on the Daily Dandy's sidebar and we will ALL choose the winners.

I will go first and give you an example from my short list of legendary comments:

I wrote a post entitled: See Buddy. The url for that post is: http://candysdailydandy.blogspot.com/search/label/See%20Buddy

Slyde from Slydesblog said:

Slyde said...
the dog is just being framed by the white man...

HAHAHA! Pure gold! Great job Slyde! I swear your comment had me giggling all day.

So there you have it! The FIRST nomination for the Candy's Daily Dandy Comment Content Comedy Hall of Fame! Good luck Slyde baby!

Who knows, maybe I'll even make up one of those award-thingy's that people can post on the side bar of their blog. Wouldn't you want to be the #1 Comment Content Comedy Hall of Famer, proudly displaying it for the entire bloggersphere to see? (Peebs, can you show me how to do that?)

*once again, the magnificent Prof. Zibbz has provided me with the answer to this question. thanks Zibsy-love Eliza.

*oh yeah, I try to keep my blog as family-friendly as possible. I don't mind racy content, but overly obscene content may be edited and profanity written with ***'s.