Loser Like Me

Last night it was all about being an original.

Song, that is, and the McKinnley High glee club decided that they would write and perform original songs for Regionals. Kurt's Dalton Academy Warblers opened the show with a fantastic cover of Maroon 5's "Misery". With Blaine at the lead, once again, Kurt found the nerve to complain to Blaine that he was tired of Blaine leading all the solos. He even called the Warblers, "Blaine and the Pips." Boo fricken hoo. I could watch and listen to Blaine (Darren Criss) all night long. After Kurt's beloved parakeet Pavorrati died, a sullen Kurt sang my favorite Beatles tune , "Blackbird" in his memory. And something magical happened. Blaine saw Kurt for the first time through different eyes. He later tells Kurt, “There is a moment when you say to yourself, ‘Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.’ Watching you do ‘Blackbird’ this week, that was the moment for me, about you. You move me, Kurt.” And then they kissed! It was a sweet moment we have all been waiting for.

Rachel sang her latest attempt at an original song, "Only Child" to Finn in the choir room. Finn told her he thought it was better than her last attempt, but that she needs to write from deep inside and only then will she succeed. Quinn, standing outside the choir room, observing Rachel and Finn, gives us an inside look into the inner workings of her brain. She wonders how someone like Finn could like someone as annoying as Rachel, but she concedes that Finn is a good guy. She decides that without him she will not get what she truly desires; prom queen and that she knows that only Rachel stands in her way. Quinn then puts into work her plan, keeping her enemy Rachel as close as possible. Quinn and Rachel decide to write an original song together, but when Rachel shows up to write she instead confronts Quinn about what's going on with her and Finn. Quinn mercilessly tells Rachel that she will end up heartbroken and Quinn will end up with Finn, kids, a successful career as a real estate agent and Finn taking over Kurt's dad's tire shop. "You don't belong here, Rachel and you can't hate me for helping me send you on your way." Rachel storms out, heartbroken and writes her song on her own.

Santana and Brittney continue with last week's lady love plot line. Brittany asks Santana why she won't talk to her and Santana tells her that she blew her off for Artie. Sue sees them in the hall, and after being more than nasty to them she tells them that she likes to play dirty. The girls then open their lockers which are full of dirt, which sprays all over both of them. The glee club continue to perform originals. Santana's "Trouty Mouth" for Sam and Puck's, "Big Ass Heart" for Lauren, but the best of these offerings was Mercedes', "Hell To The No." All good, but inappropriate for Regionals. The club, using Coach Sylvester as fuel and Mr. Shue's Rhyming Dictionaries write their new anthem.

Onto Regionals where Sue's Aural Intensity sing a perky, pop, version of ,"Jesus is a friend of mine." The crowd and the judges loved it! The Warblers are up next and Kurt and Blaine sing a duet. "Candles" from Hey Monday, which is nice, a bit too vanilla for me but I like Pink's, "Raise Your Glass" with Blaine at the lead much better. The New Directions are next and Rachel takes center stage with her original, "Get It Right". I must admit that Rachel (Leah Michelle) can do no wrong vocally in my eyes, so I loved this. And in what must be no surprise to anyone, my Download Pick of the Week is the glee club original, "Loser Like Me." Complete with fingers raised in the shape of an L on their foreheads, the New Directions capped off their song with confetti filled slushie cups tossed into the audience.

The New Directions win the competition, Kurt wins Blaine, and Rachel wins the competition MVP. "all I’ve ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen, and I just wanted to thank you guys so much for giving me that.”

Sometime the losers finally win.

Glee's Bringing Sexy Back

They're also bringing substitute teacher Holly Holiday, (Gwyneth Paltrow) back and that usually means some sort of sexy shake up. The sex-packed episode started out with a meeting of a three member Celibacy Club which consisted of Rachel; to help her get over Finn, Quinn; to also get over Finn and Emma to just get over it. She has her issues with sex.

In walks super sexy Holly, who Will Shuester is more than delighted to see, and she immediately clashes with prudish Emma over how the kids should be educated about sex. I'm thinking all the kids really needed to do is watch the scenes between Holly and Will and then just fill in the blanks. Damn, these two have some serious chemistry, and I'm glad to see Will back to his sexy self, and not the babbling fool chasing after a married Emma.

There seemed to be a lot going on here, as Santana and Brittney, "The Lesbian Years" takes center stage. Santana decides that Brittnay is the girl she really wants and tells her she misses her sweet lady kisses. Awkward. But this story line reveals a kinder, gentler Santana and her spot on clueless, target of her affection Brittnay. They decide to talk to Holly about their feelings. Holly told the girls they needed to be able to talk to each other and express their feelings or better yet sing a song about them! Holly and the girls performed the Stevie Knicks ballad "Landslide", and Santana's vulnerable side was on display for the glee club's consumption. I have to say, I think there is potential for this girl on girl relationship, as these characters develop into what could be a tender love story, but Brittnay's love for Artie stands in the way. Stay tuned.

Let's talk about Puck and Lauren. This is fast becoming my favorite Glee coupling. Lauren Zizes is brilliantly torturing sexy Puck by making him wait and want whatever it is she is selling. And it's working! Last night she decides that she wants fame, fortune a reality TV show and a fragrance and they way to get that fame is through a sex tape, a la Kim Kardashian and Pamela and Tommy Lee. Puck can hardly believe his good fortune, and all he can think about is "motor boating those twins". While plotting their cinematic triumph, they are approached by Holly who shares with them the fact that they are minors who could be arrested for child pornography if a sex tape were released. Talk about a buzz kill.

Then there's Blaine and Kurt. In their Dalton Academy hangout coffe shop, Sue shows up with some Regionals info. She tells the boys that McKinnley is hitting the sex factor for Regionals and Kurt and Blaine decide to up the Warbler's sexy stakes. Not very convincingly. Blaine compares Kurt's attempts at "sexy" as looking like he has gas pains. Blaine decides to tell Kurt's dad Burt that Kurt needs Sex Ed stat! In a wonderful moment for TV, Burt awkwardly but lovingly, has "the talk" with Kurt and tells him he matters. Great TV right there.

The Celibacy Club, complete with new member Noah Puckerman, decide to perform for the Glee Club , "Afternoon Delight" with an under utilized John Stamos at the drums. When Holly discovers that Emma thinks an afternoon delight is a dessert, she agrees to meet with Emma and Carl to discuss their sexual issues. (Cuz Holly's a sex therapist who teaches Spanish and algebra??) We then learn that Carl and Emma have yet to consummate their marriage. Holly drops the big bomb when she asks Emma, "Do you still have feelings for Will Schuster?" Emma can only reply that her feelings are complicated, sending Carl to a hotel.

The episode ends with Holly and Shue saying goodbye and the sexual tension here is so thick you can feel it. Then it happens...Holly gives in and tells Will, "I know a lot about sex but maybe it's time I learn about romance." Shuster has the line of the night, as he grasps Holly, and Rhett Butler-esquely dips her, then whispers to her before kissing her, "I am an excellent educator."

Steaming hot! and now I gotta go take a cold shower.

Fat Bottomed Girls Got Game

Forget all about today's play-by-play recap of last night's episode of Glee, (which I LOVED) I wanna talk about Fat Bottomed Girls and more important, Lauren Zizes.

Where did this superstar come from?? Lauren Zizes, is a member of the wrestling team at McKinnley high and President of the AV club when Puck offers her "seven minutes of heaven" in the closet if she will join the glee club. Tonite we got to see that super confident in who you are makes you more desirable and that Fat Bottomed Girls got game. She rocked Puck's world in the closet, when she found out that Puck is all talk, there bye putting her in the driver's seat in this cat and mouse game. Now Puck wants more and she's making him beg. And loving every minute of it.

Complete with electric guitar, Puckerman tries to woo his new woman with a rousting rendition of, "Fat Bottomed Girls". Although Lauren looks to be touched by Puck's expression of love songs, she lets him know that song selection is key and that song made her "feel like crap". She then proceeds to torture Puck for the entire episode, standing him up and making him beg for more. My favorite line of the night, "I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct, because I spell woman ZIZES. And I need to be wooed," She's my new hero. A great example of what can be when you believe in who you are. AND that it took a ring pop for her Puckerman to finally win her over. These two are going to be good fun.

Quinn and Finn decide to see if the spark they had been feeling in Sunday's episode could be a flame, but they disappointingly turn into cheaters. Quinn is cheating on Sam and they both know it. Or shall I say they all know it? Because Santana figures it out and drops some lethal mono she picked up in the nurses office from a sick kid. Santana is apparently immune to the sickness as she said, "I've had mono so may times it's turned into stereo" and she kisses Finn in his kissing booth, as to effectively spread the germs and prove her theory about him and Quinn.

Then there's Rachel. Rachel pays for a kiss from Finn at the kissing booth, but gets one on the cheek instead. Finn then gives her a gift he bought her for Christmas, a star necklace, and lovingly tells her to follow her dreams, without a man. He tells her she needs to shine like the star that she is. Rachel later asks a delirious with mono Finn if he felt anything when he kissed Quinn. "Fireworks", was his reply, and we get a great cover by Rachel of Katy Perry's "Firework". Who couldn't see that one coming? Predictable but great, nonetheless.

As for Kurt and The Warblers, I have to give my Download of the Week honors to "Silly Love Songs", by Blaine and The Warblers. Crisp and bright, this cover of the Wings classic played out to the evening's close at Breadsticks where the Glee clubbers, minus Quinn and Finn, were in attendance. A perfect ending to this great Valentines episode. And If you didn't see it coming, Santana and Sam catch a knowing glance at each other, which can only signal trouble.

Fat Bottomed Girl or not, last night's episode got game.