Good Friends Are Chicken Soup With Red Wine

So I spent Friday night with some of my girl friends from high school. It was a great time, just hanging out, laughing and talking. The weather was not very cooperative, but we still managed to pull of some summer fun.

We had our best friend, red wine, along with us and before we knew it the wine and fun made us late for dinner. So late, in fact, we missed it all together. Who would have thought that a tourist community closed their kitchens at 10 pm? But with the help of our trusty iphone's we managed to find a pizza place that delivered. It was some of the best pizza I ever ate.

The thing about good friends is that they know you better than you remember. They have memories of things that you don't and they never let you forget how you were back then. They share in your triumphs and they worry about the same things. We talked a lot about our kids, and it was refreshing to know that they go through the same things that we all do.

Before I knew it, our time had ended and it was back to reality. We had managed to sneak in some bonding time, but the memories linger on into today. I wanted more. I needed more, but I am content in the knowledge that they will always be a phone call or a text message away.

That's the thing about chicken soup. You may not know at the time how much you need that valued home remedy.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Joke provided by Coolfunnyjokes.com

Have You Seen Chelsea Lately?

Saturday night my girls and I went to see a live performance of Chelsea Handler. If you're not familiar with Chelsea, she is a stand-up comic, author, and TV personality with her own show on the E Channel called Chelsea Lately. Before Saturday, I had seen no more than highlights of few episodes of Chelsea Lately, (way past my bedtime) and had not read her best selling book, "Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea", (although it has been highly recommended) so I was not quite up on Chelsea's comedic "schtick". I just knew that she was funny.

What I was not prepared for was her demeanor on Saturday night. She was loaded. And I don't mean "flush with cash". No, she was full on smashed and outright nasty, but none-the-less hilarious. Drunk must be her "thing" because the fresh-faced, crude but bright and bubbly, 35 year old Chelsea on TV is not the same Chelsea uncensored on stage. No way.

The show started with a stand-up by Heather McDonald, a regular on Chelsea Lately, who was almost funnier than Chelsea. Handler then came on and it was apparent immediately that we were in for a ride. She came on carrying a drink, which we can only assume is some kind of vodka concoction. Brash, rough, crude and inappropriately hilarious, Handler almost relishes the fact that she has a drinking problem, to which a few minutes of comedy is dedicated. She also lets us know immediately that she is single and damn happy to be. And it's funny, yes.

What wasn't funny was how dark her beloved "drunk" seemed to make her. She was just plain nasty and I got the feeling that she was not entirely enjoying this. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe they ran out of vodka, but this Chelsea looked tired, worn, irritated and way more than her 35 years should look. Beside a momentary giggle, the only bright point of the entire stand-up was when she told a heckler to, "shut the F**K up".

Look at this woman. She's beautiful, smart, funny, talented and making it in Hollywood. Kudos baby! Drop the nasty drunk and you've got the Chelsea we see on TV every night. But add in some alcohol and what you get just might shock you. If the dark, nasty drunk thing is a schtick, I'm here to tell her it's not working to her advantage. If it's not, than it just may be a cry for help. Whatever the case may be, Chelsea Handler has a fan in me. And I'm sure she could care less what I think.......

If she were here, I know she'd just tell me to "shut the f**k up" anyway.

The Domino Effect

My high school friend sent this email to around 18 of us yesterday and within 15 minutes my inbox was flooded with requests for a "Girls Weekend Away". Needless to say, we are now going away as a group in March.

Why females should avoid a "Girls Night Out" after they are married.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed. 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'. He didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'Oh, shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."