What Would Carrie Do?

Let's take a different angle on all this Covid-19 perspective today. While watching my favorite go-to on TV, I decided to think about what this apocalyptic world would look like for the girls from Sex and the City. How would they handle this Social Distancing when their entire existence is centered around Sex...in the city? And just like that, I had my blog post.

I'm going to start with Miranda.

She's the sometimes angry corporate lawyer who is a cynical spit fire with a soft side. Steve, her husband and Brady, her son complete her world. But what about Miranda pre-marriage? I wondered what would this NYC lock down look like for her?

Miranda, I think, would be spending her quarantine days at her well appointed dining room table covered with legal briefs, zoom conferencing with her partners and clients. She'd be calling Carrie, after a long day of work and possibly meeting her for a clandestine walk, six feet apart, down the deserted streets of New York. While all of her possible suitors would be contacting her for booty calls, something tells me that Miranda would cautiously selective, or practicing abstinence for the good of all.

Then there's Charlotte

She is the gorgeous WASP with the Cinderella complex. Charlotte did get her fairy tale ending when she fell in love with her divorce lawyer Harry and had two beautiful little girls; one adopted and one conceived after a struggle with infertility. But what would Charlotte be like pre-fairy tale? Charlotte never gave up on the prospect of true love so what would she do if her all important search was suddenly put on pause?

Charlotte, I think, would spend her days, since her gallery is closed, cleaning out her closet of her Lilly Pulitzer and matching headbands, organizing her designer purses, by color, and watching romantic old movies on TV. Charlotte would not be meeting up with the ladies for a 6 foot walk. No, Charlotte and her Rabbit would be spending quiet nights home  alone.

The one and only Samantha

She is a true original. Samantha the sex-obsessed, brash and straight forward successful PR agent, moved out to the West Coast with her love Smith. She then moved back to the city because she "loved herself more" and we could all use a little more of that in our lives. Samantha was never one to shy away from confrontation, so what would a little self-isolation do to Samantha's never satiated sex drive?

Samantha, I think, would not take this Covid-19 crisis lying down, or maybe she would? Literally. Samantha would be forced to keep her sex line up to a select few. Preferably the ones with a house in the Hamptons and the ones she deemed "clean", because there is no way Samantha would stop having sex. With the prospect of no premiers, restaurants and parties to dress fabulously for, Samantha would be breaking the rules and having safe sex parties in her fabulous apartment in the meat packing district. And that handsome stranger she met while picking up her takeout? Oh Samantha, she may not be able to abstain. " Honey, it's all about the phermones We are all just reacting to each other's smell."

And our girl Carrie

She is our protagonist. Her nervous and self-deprecating personality belies her true intelligence. She is the supremely insightful author of her newspaper column "Sex and The City", and fiercely loyal to her girlfriends.  Carrie finally got her man, and she and John Preston, aka "Big" made it legal. But pre-wedding days, I found myself wondering what a self-quarantine would look like for Carrie?

Since sex is her business, I think Carrie would be spending her days Face-timing her friends and sources looking for leads and delving into what happens when sex is not an option. Then she would be spinning the tale of what Sex in The City looks like without the prospect of sex and the city.

She would be publishing her column daily, and since she was still working, she would definitely be shopping online. A lot. Sales on couture and sales on shoes all with free shipping, Carrie might find herself in a financial frenzy. After long days of writing and scouring unique sex stories, she might possibly invite the girls over to defy the shelter-in-place order to eat take-out and drink cosmos around her circular coffee table at least six feet apart. As for sex, I'm quite confident that during this unusual time in the history of our world, Carrie would be comfortable being an observer, chronicling the trials and tribulations of being a single in the new social-distancing age.

One thing is for sure, with all this uncertainty out there today it's unnerving to have to consider whether having single sex today is safe. Better we tune into our girls from Sex and The City to contemplate the meaning of our sex lives in this new normal.

While the world we live in has changed dramatically, I couldn't help but wonder, "What would Carrie do?"

This Is Getting A Bit Weird...

So I'm watching TV on Friday night and I happen to catch the 20/20 episode with Leah Remini. By now the entire world knows that Leah, a once famous member of the Church of Scientology, is a Scientologist no longer. Leah has just written a book entitled, "Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology". In this controversial memoir Remini makes some stunning claims about her former church and it's teachings. Many of those claims have included the most famous Scientologist, Tom Cruise.

I thought this to be an interesting topic that I have little knowledge about, so I  continued to watch. Remini was a child who was brought into Scientology by her mother. So immersed in the church she became, that as a teen she attended the prestigious Sea Org, reserved for Scientology's most dedicated members. Remini claims that her education comprised of only Scientology related subjects, and she was dedicated to working her way successfully up the "Bridge of Scientology" which is much like climbing a ladder.  Remini admits to horrid living conditions while there and remembers getting in trouble for acts she committed with her then "boyfriend" that were prohibited by the church. Regardless of her previous discretion's, Remini continued to practice Scientology for 30 years.

It wasn't until her acting career took off and she became a celebrity when she was invited to the 2006 wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that she began to question things that were happening in the church. Her most stunning claims:

• As a member of The Sea Org, Remini was required to sigh a billion year contract. Scientologists believe in reincarnation and are required to rejoin the church when they are reborn.
• Remini and her husband were recruited to teach Tom Cruise and his then-girlfriend salsa dancing. During the lesson, Tom was forcibly kissing Katie Holmes to which Remini responded for them to "get a room". She was immediately written up and sent into "succession". (a form of punishment in the church)
• Told by the church to invite her friend Jennifer Lopez and her then husband Marc Anthony to the Cruise wedding, she then realized that the church purposely sat them at different tables and purposely kept them away from each other during the evening. 
• Remini, perplexed about the absence of her friend Shelly Miscavage, the wife of Scientology leader David, at Tom and Katie's wedding, questioned Shelly's whereabouts to which she was immediately written up and disciplined. 

But here's the most perplexing thing, Remini says in her book, " I am an apostate. I have lied, I have cheated, I have been selfish and have been a horrible wife and mother." Remini says those things in her book because she claims she knows how the church deals with people like her. "I wanted to be the first one to say it."

For their part, The Church of Scientology had plenty to say about Remini, all of it not becoming to an organization that calls itself a church. Their entire statement can be found HERE. The language they use to denounce Remini is troubling at best. The Church Of Scientology, calling Remini in a public statement, "self-absorbed, shallow and spoiled", it was Remini who claims to have voluntarily left the church. Scientology refutes that fact in their statement. Of Remini's departure they said,

"Her repeated ethical lapses and callous treatment of others led to an ecclesiastical review which resulted in her being expelled. She now regurgitates the tired myths the Church has repeatedly debunked, circulated by the same tiny clique of expelled former staffers bitter at having lost the positions they enjoyed before their malfeasance and unethical conduct were uncovered. Ms. Remini is now joined at the hip with this collection of deadbeats, admitted liars, self-admitted perjurers, wife beaters and worse."

I'm now beginning to understand why Nicole Kidman never stayed with nor had much contact with her kids after her 2011 divorce to Tom Cruise. I often wondered how a woman could leave her children. Now the picture is becoming clearer and clearer.

Evidently-Nicole was "self-absorbed, shallow and spoiled" too.

I Was Just Thinking...

I saw this picture of Paris Jackson today and it got me to thinking about Michael Jackson's kids and where they are now. You know how a picture or a story gets you thinking about people that really aren't in your realm of life, yet you can't stop wondering what happened to them?

A quick internet check on Paris finds the 17 year-old beauty seemingly happy and attending a private boarding school in Utah. She certainly has turned out to be a beautiful young lady, and social media pictures show her to be dating.

Her 18 year-old boyfriend, Chester Castellaw, is a soccer player for the Real So Cal youth soccer club. When not away at school she resides with her grandmother, Katherine Jackson and cousin Tito in California and her two brothers. She seems to be doing much better since her reported suicide attempt when she was 15.

Her brother Prince Michael also seems to be faring well.

The Loyola Marymount student, 18, is focusing his studies on a career in film and television. Reportedly a great student, Prince is said to be committed to his studies and focused on receiving a degree. Good thing because as the heir of his father's vast estate, he will need a good head on his shoulders to navigate all that entails. Talk about pressure. Let's keep our fingers crossed he stays the course. I think it would be a great testament to his late father.

Last, is their brother, Prince Michael II, "Blanket" who is 13.

Reportedly bullied for his name "Blanket", he changed his name to Bigi Jackson. Blanket, as he was known by his family, is said to be quiet, funny, respectful and helpful to others. Here's hoping he can live a somewhat normal teen aged life.

After reading and reporting all of that, I am left to wonder why I care? But strangely I do care-Michael Jackson's children were the young and  innocents caught in the madness that was his life. I could be wrong, but it looks like his mother is doing a good job raising his children. And as I said before, it would be nice if despite it all, the 3 kids turned out to be decent, happy and successful adults. As a parent, that's the best you can hope for.

VMA Madness

Naked is the new black...or so says Miley Cyrus. This is Miley's latest fashion forward moment at last night's  MTV VMA Awards. And this girl was the evening's host! Hard to believe that just 4 short years ago this girl was a bubble gum, tween queen Disney darling. I wonder if Walt is turning over in his grave?

Taylor Swift and Nicki Manaj show the world that there is no Bad Blood. Were they fighting? I must have slept through that one, but ok, seems they could make up long enough to perform together last night. I would venture to guess the whole thing was made up to sell some records. Amiright?

Since Nicki's not fighting with Taylor anymore, she decided to pick a fight with Miley Cyrus. When accepting her award last night for Best Hip-Hop-Video she ended her speech, throwing it back to Miley by saying "and now back to this bitch who had a lot to say about me in the press the other day." Again, relevance, records and dollars. You think the had a meeting before and staged it? I'd say that was the best "performance" of the night. I give her high marks on her dress, tho. I think she looks beautiful.

Ugggh, them again? And seated front and center last night. Question: Does Kim have a tailor? Because I have the name of someone and she could CLEARLY use one. The ill fitting garment does nothing for her except make her look sloppy. Anyway, her self absorbed husband decided to declare his run for the presidency in 2020 on stage. What the hell? If Donald Trump can run for President and lead the polls why not Kayne?

So not relevant anymore. Britney Spears presented an award last night and I know what all of you were thinking because I was too; washed up, tired and over. It's sad because it would seem that Britney finally has her life together. She's no dummy though. She reportedly made $30 million over the last two years for her Vegas show and just renegotiated a raise for her next run. Reports say she will take home close to $1 million a week. And although she has surpassed expectations selling tickets to her show, I'm not sure it's the MTV crowd that's buying her tickets. My money is on the Bingo junket playing crowd filling her seats.

Yup, she won a bunch of awards again..This lady has the Midas touch! And in a class move, she put to bed forever the Taylor/Kanye feud. Repeating his famous and controversial outburst at the VMA's a few years ago, she declared Kanye's career 'the greatest career of all time', then hugging it out with him for all to see. Class act, that Taylor.

The Nanny Chronicles

Another one bites the dust...

It wasn't bad enough that our boy Ben lost his freakin mind and started banging the Nanny, but now reports have surfaced that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale's marriage may have been doomed over the suspision that Rossdale cheated with....THE NANNY. 

WTF? 

What gives? Do all these successful men have mommy issues? Or do all men have issues? Mom's hire nannies-especially working moms-so that they can contribute to the family financially, and socially so that they can have a life that is not centered around the kids. Moms need to feel good about themselves, and a good mom takes care of family first but then takes care of herself. When mama's happy, everybody is happy and a working mom needs both family and career to work cohesively to achieve domestic harmony. 

The nanny is key to the cohesiveness of those two worlds. But in today's crazy, sexed up, messed up world, do moms now need to worry about what goes on at home-with the nanny and her spouse-while she is working? So it would seem that any woman in her right mind would hire only Mrs. Doubtfire doppelgangers. Knowing what we now know, what are the options? 

Look, my kids are out of the nest and their "nanny" is still at my home 2 days a week taking care of household business. She has been with my family for 10 years and she's 28. AND did I mention that she looks like a Brazillian J LO? Am I worried? I wouldn't be human if I didn't let sinister thoughts creep into my head. Top that off with the fact that I was once married to a serial cheater and got my world rocked by the shit that he did. But I decided a long time ago that in order for me to live happily and not be completely devastated by a man and his extracirrucular activities, I have to love me more. Simple, I love me more and in the best case scenario he loves me more too. 

I don't know if simply loving yourself more is the answer, but it's a start. 

That and finding the agency that only employs women nanny's over the age of 75. 

Bye, Bye... Miss American Idol

It was announced today that the next season of American Idol, the 15th season, will be it's last. It is the end of an American institution, to be sure, but I think we can all agree it is time to put this one out of its misery. First debuted on Fox in June 2002, American Idol created a sensation from the moment the first episode aired. 

American Idol once was a national obsession. Years ago, myself and several other bloggers would write re-caps and enjoy handicapping every minute of the Cinderella story played out in real time. I used to LOVE to watch Idol every week and root for my favorite talent to win. It was a family affair, as we would all gather together to enjoy the excitement of Idol. It was magic, watching everyday people become singing sensations each week. Thorough it's tenure, Idol has produced two bonafide recording stars; Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Then a string of 11 almost stars, some more forgettable than others. American Idol introduced us to Simon Cowell, the celebrity judge we all love to fear. If Simon said something, one was hardpressed to forget it and his advice helped launch the careers of many aspiring stars. 

The judges, they became like family. A cuckoo, crazy family with a stern father (Simon), a beautiful but dizzy mother (Paula), a groovy big brother (Randy), and the voice of reason. (Ryan) Then they got too famous...the judges almost became the focus more than the talent. There was fighting within producing staff...it was documented that the franchises marquee talent-Simon Cowell- wasn't happy and was looking elsewhere. Then Paula left and then Simon left and no matter who they replaced them with Idol was never the same without Simon.

Is that when Idol jumped the shark? 

Possibly, but my guess is it jumped the shark some where in between Season 4 and Season 8. Too many talented folks elimated early-conspiracy theories abound-and America's favorite show never quite rebounded. The hand writing was on the wall, yet it soldiered on, banking on America's belief in the dream. They bled that franchise for every dollar it was worth and they weren't smart enough to stop the bleeding. They hired new celebrity judges-big names with big followings-they changed the format countless times, yet Idol never delivered the goods after Season 4. They never delivered another true American Idol. 

In the end, we enjoyed it for what it was worth-but nobody like a guest who overstayed their welcome. 

Bye bye American Idol. Your time has come.

I Was Just Thinking...

• About the whole Bruce Jenner thing....I think he's finally being true to himself and possibly trying to use his celebrity to do some good. Great for him, but right now I can't help feeling bad for Kris Jenner. I know what you're thinking...she's a money monger who will do anything-including treating her husband like a dog on a TV camera for ratings-but I gotta think this whole "I'm really a woman" thing sorta rocked her calculated world. Sources say she knew from the beginning of their relationship, but he certainly put on a good show for many years. They had two children of their own and raised six kids together. 23 years is a heck of a long time to put on a show. I get it when she says "I have these memories of this life, and I feel sometimes like it doesn't exist." All I can say is I get it. When someone you think you know turns out to be someone you don't know at all, it literally shakes your entire foundation. I think the media has been unfair to her. What's she supposed to say, besides voicing her support?

• About A Rod hitting his 660 th career home run tying Willie Mays at Fenway Park a few days ago. It came amid boos-and virtually no fanfare. Not even a mention of the milestone on the outfield board-a screen notorious for broadcasting even the slightest minutia during a game. The Yankees have stated that they will NOT pay the contractual $6 million dollar bonus they agreed to when he reached this milestone before he was suspended for drugs. Is it fair? Is it right? Facts are what they are...Rodriguez tested positive for performance enhancing drugs a year ago and was suspended for the entirety of last season, leaving an asterisk on his name in the record books forever. This one may get ugly, as the players union says it will step in on behalf of ARod, but I think the Yankees have the upper hand here. ARod did the crime, now he's gotta do the time. ARod*

• About how I have been sick almost the entire month of April. I got one horrid cold right on top of another horrid cold. I'm thinking WTF? Then it dawns on me. Allergies? Yes, it very well could be allergies. I've never been bothered by allergies before but I'm thinking this is quite possibly the culprit. Allergies + stress = horrible combination.

• About how my favorite TV series, "Nurse Jackie" is back! Edie Falco is such a great actor, and the entire cast is phenomenal. This is Season 7 and I have yet to miss one episode!! Jackie has let her drug use ruin most of her life,  but the things that she does to stay relevant are horrible and dangerous, yet I can't stop watching this whole ride! With the beauty of On Demand, you can catch up with ever crazy, depraved thing that Jackie has done. I highly recommend it. 

• About how Spring has finally arrived! When I see that groundhog...I'm gonna ring his neck!

American Movie Idol

Scott Eastwood

So I'm watching TV the other day and a trailer comes on for the new movie, "The Longest Ride". And I stop dead in my tracks for a second. All of a sudden I'm mesmerized by the male lead in this movie. Like I really had to stop and look at this guy. I thought, 'who is THAT?' because I couldn't believe how handsome this kid was. The movie, aimed at the younger than I generation, looks to be another hopeful contender to be the modern day "The Notebook", but my curiosity got the best of me. I Googled the movie and quickly found out that this handsome kid, whom I have never seen before in any tabloid or on TMZ.com, is none other than Scott Eastwood. Yes, that same Eastwood of the Clint Eastwood fame because he is his son.

I then text the authority on the subject, Frick, my daughter.

MOM: OK so Scott Eastwood "the longest ride"? Seriously? The dude is like Tom Brady handsome and I never thought anyone could ever come close

FRICK: HES SOOOOO HANDOME

FRICK: LIKE WOW

FRICK: LIKE HES SO BEAUTIFUL

MOM: Umm yaaa

MOM: WOW

MOM: It was a Zac Effron moment.

FRICK: I feel YA

FRICK: I feel the same way. Three of the most handsome men ever.

The Zac Effron thing is a reference to a time not so very long ago when Frick was a little girl watching "High School Musical" in her bedroom. I came in to her room to discuss something important with her and while I was speaking I glanced over at the TV and completely lost my train of thought. I went silent and I said, "Who is that? He's so handsome."

Silly me-I get distracted by beauty.

And a beauty he is. Just like his father, Clint Eastwood, who was at one time an American movie idol and  not just a two time Oscar winning director. In fact, back in the day Dirty Harry was positively swoon worthy and a major Hollywood sex symbol.

The legendary Clint Eastwood

Yes, good genes run in the family because it would seem that this kid has what it takes to take it to super movie idol status....and I'm an old lady and he stopped me mid blink.

Monday Minutia

• Saw a post on FB that cracked me right up. It said, "If Mondays were shoes, they'd be Crocs"

• And on that note, the funniest thing I ever saw on Twitter was a tweet from a dude who said, "Whoever just left me a voice mail, could you send me a text and let me know if I should listen to it?" 

• So all the weather people here are foaming at the mouth over the fact that we need 2" more of snow to break the record for the snowiest winter ever. I'm thinking, really? Tell that to the thousands of us here dealing with ice dam damage and seasonal depression..

• I'm almost finished with the 3rd season of "Breaking Bad". Why did I never watch this show when everyone was telling me I had to? I'm now obsessed! This is the greatest thing on television! I love the whole dynamic between Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. And Aaron Paul's, " Yo, where's my money?...Bitch!" Interesting to note: "Breaking Bad" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Highest Rated TV Series.

• The Boston Herald reported that My Tommy is thinking that after he retires from football, he may go the Hollywood way, via an acting career. I say whatever My Tommy is selling...I'm buying.

Sheer perfection...I'd pay to watch him recite the alphabet.

#TheDress...

Evidently the dress is black and blue-but I saw gold and white. I guess that means my emotions are in check? Such a fuss....

But I don't want to talk about that dress. I wanna talk about this one:

Get this...

This dress that Lupita Nyong'o wore to the Oscars last Sunday was reportedly made completely with pearls; 6000 white Akoya pearls-estimating its worth at $150,000.00-was STOLEN right out of her hotel room!  Nyong'o reportedly told police that the dress was stolen out of her room at The London West Hollywood sometime Wednesday between 8am and 9 pm, while she was out. 

Holy Hollwood caper, bloggers! Have a great weekend and please try to lock up your valuables! 

UPDATE: The dress has been found! According to TMZ.com the thief who stole the dress returned it to the hotel after he learned that the dress-made of pearls-were fake! He contacted TMZ to inform them of "Hollywood's fake bullsh*t".

Hollywood's Golden Girl

I like this lady. There is something about her that draws me in.

Maybe its because she strikes me as the kind of person who just doesn't give a sh*t.
Maybe it's because she's interesting and beautiful and has always been on the outer cusp of Hollywood-like she's been there all along-but not quite.
Maybe it's because she looks and acts like she knows exactly who she is.
And maybe because she just kicked everyone's ass this awards season.

Patricia Arquette is boss lady. The thing is, she always has been. Most recently as TV's The Medium, which had a 6 year run, and up next CSI:Cyber, it's safe to say she has been quietly succeeding in the complicated maze of the acting world. One of a family of Hollywood types-her famous siblings, Rosanna, Richmond, Alexis and David, are well known themselves for various reasons-acting being the common denominator. But there's something about Patricia, and Patricia right now.

I'm not talking about her Oscar acceptance speech either, although that just adds another dimension to her appeal. I'm talking about how she carries herself. She's every woman. She's feminine and relatable because she possesses an elegant beauty that can't be found in a hair and makeup room. She is a beautiful woman, of that there is no doubt, but she is a beautiful woman on what appears to be her own terms. She doesn't conform to Hollywood standards and she doesn't have to. She set the bar for herself and it works for her.

If she's selling, I'm buying. I read that she was strongly considered for the Dorothy Boyd character in "Jerry Maguire" so to Patricia I will say this, you had me at hello.....

Overheard On The Elliptical This Morning

Thanks GMA

• Keith Urban-not a fan: The dude couldn't even draw a major crowd in his hometown of Nashville for a free concert on Good Morning America this morning. Granted it was pouring, but I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift could have filled the place and caused a major stir in the same spot under the same conditions. 
• Rock The Vote #turnoutforwhat: Love Lil John! Loved him on the Celebrity Apprentice years ago and continue to love this guy. He turned his smash hit  into an anthem for voting. Great message-Hollywood appeal style. Dude even jumped a plane to Atlanta from LA to vote in his home district after his request for an absentee ballot went unanswered. Check out this video.

• Foodies Rejoice: People who follow a diet regimen regularly and make healthy food choices spend 33% LESS on food yearly. This will make my American Express card very happy! Sounds like a good argument to eat healthier. 
• I'm A Joan Ranger: Kathy Griffin has confirmed that she was offered Joan River's position on "Fashion Police" after Joan's death in September as the show's host. Kathy made the following statement: ""They did offer it to me," Griffin told Access Hollywood. "I don't know if the situation is correct at this time for me or right for me at this time."  I'm not sure the show will make it without Joan, Kathy Griffin or not. There was nobody like Joan. 
• Democracy at it's finest:Whether your political agenda was furthered yesterday or not, we as a country demonstrated the great democratic process. Way to go America!

El Jefe And The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

I recently watched the movie "Chef" on On Demand. It was good and I recommend it highly for a light fun movie watch, BUT I will caution you....DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE HUNGRY. This movie is food porn at its highest degree and after viewing it I found myself absolutely ravenous!

Since watching the movie, I can't stop thinking about the grilled cheese sandwich the chef cooks for his son. I have watched the clip below from YouTube about 6 thousand times and I think I got it down, but I'm literally guessing on the type of cheese he uses. I'm thinking the orange cheese is sliced cheddar mixed with some Gruyere, to make that yummy, cheese pulling goodness. It's just about all I can do to not make it grilled cheese night every night in our house! 

I recommend the movie, but the grilled cheese and Cuban sandwiches are the reason to watch. 

And do yourself a favor and have something with you to eat. Something you really like because your are going to need it.

This is the clip from You/tube. I couldn't get it to embed for some reason. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BTfctEmg5w

Strut-ting His Stuff

Be still my heart...I do love me some Lenny Kravitz.

That hunky, gorgeous piece of eye candy has just dropped a new album called Strut. Playing to his rock side, Kravitz said this album literally wrote itself. Kravitz has been living a dream as of late, his acting career skyrocketing in the past few years. He landed a role in the Oscar winning movie Precious and then as Cenna in the Hunger Games and Catching Fire movies. He then played a key role in the award winning movie, Lee Daniels, The Butler. Yes, it's been a good couple of years for Lenny.

Kravitz says that while he was on set finishing up Catching Fire, he kept hearing music in his head that just wouldn't go away. He decided to pay attention to it rather than loose it and his latest album was hatched. A true instrumentalist, song writer he starts with guitars and drums first and adds what it needs along the way. Best known for his number one hit, "Fly Away", Lenny Kravitz has been a hit maker since he debuted in the early 90's.

I'm buying the album because I love his music and I'm a huge fan. Rumor has it the inside cover sleeve photo is worth the price of it alone.

This isn't it the one from the new album, but you get the idea here.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah...I love me some Lenny Kravitz. I wanna fly away..........

"Can We Talk?"

I'm devastated by yesterday's news of Joan Rivers passing.

She was one of a kind, an icon, a pioneer in the industry. She will be mourned and missed by all who loved and knew her. And I was one of them. Joan went before she possibly should have, the result of a routine throat surgery she probably didn't need. Tragic. I was fortunate enough to see her in person last November and I'm glad I did. She was spectacular! Pure Joan, uncensored and politically incorrect but nonetheless hilarious and heartwarming. I am a huge fan and today I'm sad she has left us.

The piece below debuted here on August 21, 2012. I was already Joan Rivers fan but gained a new found love/appreciation for the woman that was Joan Rivers when I watched the 2010 documentary on Joan, "Piece of Work".

The Joan Ranger's salute you. RIP Joan.

She Hates Everybody

I'm a Joan Ranger.

I love Joan Rivers. Yes, I know, she's crass, mean, insulting and mostly inappropriate, but she's hilarious and she always leaves me laughing.

She is currently starring in two shows; one reality show on WE TV called "Joan and Melissa" and "Fashion Police" on E.

On "Fashion Police", she is incredibly funny yet politically incorrect in her impeccably timed Joan Rivers way. She commands the floor with her panel of fashion "experts", but make no mistake, Joan is the show. It's well worth the watch.

I became a fan a couple of years ago when I came across the documentary "Joan Rivers. Piece of Work." It released in Jan 2010 and was filmed during one year of Joan Rivers life when she was 75 years old. It followed her through her crazy, schedule of appearances and performances.

This lady works. I gained an incredible appreciation for her work ethic. She was non-stop. Joan makes no bones about the fact that she has to work to support her opulent lifestyle, yet she admits to needing the work to boost her self esteem.

Notorious for her abuse of plastic surgery, Joan admits quite openly to being very insecure. She does it all too. At the time of filming, Joan was still working every day, attending several personal appearances, doing comedy shows and regularly traveling across country. A schedule that would have made even a younger person, question why. Yet Joan seemed to revel in it, and she hardly complained.

This lady is no dumb blonde, either. Fresh off her "Celebrity Apprentice" win in 2009, "Piece of Work" showed Rivers the business woman for the shrewd artisan she is. Her jewelry line is one of QVC's most successful sellers to date and that is just one of the many projects that Joan is attached to.

I hope to God that when I am her age, I have half the stamina that she has. And that's not something you can buy from a plastic surgeon. You gotta have hutzpah! Forbes has estimated Rivers net worth at $290 million, and that's a hell of a lot of hutzpah.

Say what you will about her.
She's probably already heard it and incorporated it into her act and made it ten times funnier. 

On Stage

Did you ever hear a song in your car that just spoke to you? Made you burst out in full on sing song like you were on stage? In front of thousands of people? Singing like you've never sang before?  I know you have. We all have. And we have all seen someone at a red light just belting out a song like they are in the middle of Madison Square Garden in front of the adoring crowd.

That's why this is so funny.

You go Ellen! I wish I could do that every morning with a different celebrity in my bathroom.

Lady got some pipes..both of em.

I Was Just Thinking....

It was twenty years ago today....June 17th 1994.

It will always be a "where were you?" moment. And when you think about it..it was nothing short of crazy. Every time you see a white Ford Bronco, you have to think of that historic moment. ( the Ford Motor Company discontinued the line of cars two years after that infamous day) All the major networks cut into their regular programming to give credence to the madness that was unfolding in front of us. And the birth of a Kardashian on reality TV happened...

The prime suspect in his former wife's brutal murder 5 days earlier, OJ Simpson was expected to turn himself in to police. Instead he decided to run. We all know how that turned out. He and his friend Al Cowlings took to the California freeway. Cowlings was driving and OJ was supposedly in the back with a gun to his head. It was surreal how the events unfolded that day. We watched with rapt attention, an estimated 95 million of us, as Robert Kardashian, the now deceased patriarch of those crazy Kardashians, read a note on live television that OJ penned for "the people". Today it would be the equivalent to "going viral" except we didn't have as many social media outlets as we do today. It was like a live TV show. It was meant to be a suicide note, but Simpson was too cowardice to take his own life. Instead he turned all of ours into a circus.

At that moment we all knew the truth. He did it. He killed her and Ron Goldman in a brutal and unbelievably violent manner. He was the culprit and he was running. The chase began when police charged Simpson on June 17th with two counts of murder with special circumstance. Simpson was supposed to surrender himself, but he does not. Instead he remains at large and at 6:45PM police are tipped off to a white Bronco, reportedly belonging to Al Cowlings, on the freeway with Simpson in the back with a gun. The police then pursue the Bronco on a 60 MPH chase through LA which ends up at Simpson's Brentwood mansion at 8PM.

And we watched it happen in real time...

I was sitting in my condo with some friends playing cards. The TV was on, but we weren't really watching it, when the news broke in with the story. We were riveted. It was an amazing thing, and I remember thinking we are watching history in the making.

 Because if the glove don't fit, karma won't acquit! It will chase you down a California freeway or follow you around for the rest of your life until it catches your ass!
Karma has a really great way of catching up with you, doesn't it?

Black Mass

The great Johnny Depp is playing Whitey.

The notorious Boston gangster, Whitey Bulger, that is, and the people of Boston are curious. Beside Ben or Matt, I don't think there was a better choice for the elusive gangster. Depp is playing the title role in the movie adaptation of  the book "Black Mass: The True Story of the Unholy alliance between the FBI and the Irish Mob", written by Boston Globe scribes Dick Lehr and Gerard O'Neill. 

If you live in Boston, like I do, you would be hard pressed to find someone who does not know the story of the crimes committed by the Irish Mob for decades and the FBI men who allowed them the breathing room to commit them. It's an interesting story, and a book that I read with rapt attention.  Filming is going on now, and Johhny Depp filmed a scene yesterday In East Boston where he eerily resembled the aging, now incarcerated, legendary Boston gangster.  The scene, shot on the same street where a murder occurred just last week, was shot-quite literally-in Irish Mob fashion. According to the Boston Herald:

"in the scene shot yesterday Whitey/Depp and a couple of his henchmen walk with an unsuspecting victim near the water in Eastie. While Whitey shakes the man’s hand, he is whacked from behind by one of the aforementioned thugs. Whitey walks away and gazes out at the Tobin Bridge while the other two drag the body away."

Hollywood's take on this unbelievable story should be very interesting and the casting of Depp is brilliant. No one can take a character and make him believable, possibly even likeable, like Johnny can. (his portrayal of George Jung in "Blow" still remains one of my favorite Depp roles) Its a true crime story for the crime story lovers in all of us."Black Mass" is a best seller written by two Boston Globe writers who worked the beat and covered the Irish Mob during their horrific reign over the city which ends with the disappearance of Bulger in 1994 when he was tipped off by his FBI handler John Connley that the Feds were going to indite him on racketeering charges. He remained on the lamb for 16 years before being arrested in Santa Barbara, California in mid 2011. Bulger, at one time, was the FBI's most wanted man, right next to Osama Bin Laden.

Now he's getting the Holllywood treatment, albeit on screen only, but I wonder what old Whitey thinks of the casting of himself in his true crime story. These stories are the stuff that legends are made of. Lots of people died at the hands of these hardened criminals, and if justice is to be served, the families of the victims of the horrible crimes will share in the spoils of the movie's box office success. As for the real life cast of characters? Karma has taken care of them. And the rest is up to their maker, when they day comes for them to meet him. 

I Was Just Thinking....

What a world we live in.

Donald Sterling, the LA Clippers basketball team owner is in hot water over racist remarks he made recently that were caught on tape. Caught by Sterling's alleged girlfriend.

Ooooh boy. This one is ugly. The tapes, obtained by TMZ.com, posted on their website on April 25, 2014, were of an alleged conversation that took place between Sterling and his alleged girlfriend. The argument on tape was about the photograph above, posted to her Instagram account. The photo has since been deleted, but the damage has been done. Sterling's reps have stated that the validity of the recording is questionable and could have possibly been tampered with. OK, if that's his story he's going to stick to it. I'm not sure this is the case but it's possible.

I listened to the entire audio of the conversation and I cannot believe what I was hearing...

The high lights/low lights for me:

DONALD: "Ya, it bothers me a lot that you want to promo...broadcast that you're associating with black people. Do you have to?"
GF: "You associate with black people."

GF: "But not in public?"
DONALD: "But why publicize it on the Instagram and why bring it to my games?"

GF: "What's wrong with minorities?"
DONALD: "Minorities are fabulous. Fabulous."

DONALD: "How about your whole life, everyday, you could do whatever you want. You can sleep with them, you can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask is that you not promote it on that and not to bring them to my games."

Here's my thing: I cannot believe that there are actually people that are this RACIST in the world today. The last time I checked, Mr. Sterling employs a team full of black professional athletes and promotes them daily. His alleged girlfriend states on tape quite emphatically that she too is of mixed race. Although she questions him on his statements, she continues to use terms of endearment like "honey" and "sweetie" when speaking to Sterling. At one point she even states that he is in love with her even though she is "black and Mexican".

Here's the other thing. I am not sympathetic to either party here..My opinion of both of these human beings is better left unsaid, but to alegedly lure someone into a taped conversation unknowingly for your own personal and financial gain is deplorable. Yet in today's tech savvy, over sharing world, it's a real possibility. Just ask Donald Sterling.

Somewhere, some how Harvey Levin is so happy he decided to stop practicing law. His pursuit of "justice" has much more meaning today.

The Best Penis Wins!

So my BFFITWWW (My BFF in the whole wide world) are texting one morning last month about how Josh Elliot was leaving GMA!!??

We were pissed.

The following conversation took place on Monday, March 31, 2014

MY BFFITWWW: "Our boyfriend Josh is leaving gma" "Going to nbc sports station or something"

CANDY: "I saw that this morning! I hate it when they shake up gma"

MY BFFITWWW: "I know I'm still not over loosing sam champion and now George is the only penis-they need to bring in another man to off set."

CANDY: "I AGREE (insert emojis here of smiley face laughing so hard it's crying)

Then-on Wed April 2, 2014:

CANDY: "(I sent a link to the news story that Michael Strahan was in talks to join GMA) Now that's a good penis!!"

MY BFFITWWW: "Ooooohhhhhh that is great news!!! I love him!"

CANDY: "Yup..he's sassy."

Today April 23rd, 2014 Mr. Michael Strahan debuted on GMA!!
The best penis won! I couldn't be happier because I'm a huge Michael Strahan fan. As you can see HERE.

Thanks GMA, we needed some fine testosterone to compliment George the straight man and we think you chose just the right one!