Emily Post 101: A Survey

Is emailing a thank you note acceptable etiquette? The answer may surprise you.

The experts say handwritten thank you's are still tops, but there are exceptions to the rule. According to Emily Post, a handwritten note is preferred for gifts, but if the gift comes from a close friend or relative an email note is acceptable. The other exception is a thank you for a job interview. In that case an email thank you is highly encouraged and can aid your chances for the position.

I would venture to guess that in this wired age of technology, easy and instant email communication with another individual is not only acceptable, but eco-friendly. What would all the "greenies" say to Emily Post?

I will admit that I love a quick note in my inbox, expressing gratitude and well wishes, but I also understand the impact of a note taken from pen to paper. The handwritten note has become a lost art form. I read once that Princess Diana was a stickler for thank you notes. She always hand wrote her thank you's and always within 24 hours of the gesture. Blue bloods steeped in tradition, but it drives home the point about the importance of saying thank you.

Tell me what you think.

What A Bit*h

I woke up this morning with a memory I'm not proud of. I decided to share it with you so that I may find some forgiveness for the sin I committed.

Back in the early 80's, I was a high school freshman, just beginning to feel my oats as a young, pretty girl. I was finally one of the "coolies" as my dad used to tease us, and with my new found status, I had several choices for a date to the Freshman Semi-formal dance. For some God forsaken reason, I decided to listen to my mother and let her fix me up with her friend from work's little brother who was the same age as I was. I remember the excitement that would build every time my mom assured me that "Carl" was handsome, sweet and fun. After all, his sister Marina was gorgeous, she had dark hair and I remember her big brown eyes and flawless make-up.

I told all of my friends about my special date, and how nice and handsome he was. Soon word got around about my mystery man, and my friends were curious and inquisitive. All I knew was that this guy was great, and I could hardly wait to meet him. I made arrangements to attend a pre-dance party at one of my friends home and then to drive over to the school dance with another couple. (our parents would be driving, of course) Soon the night came and I could hardly wait to meet my Prince Charming. It's funny, I don't remember the dress I was wearing, (I think it was white) or what anyone else was wearing, but I remember everything about Carl.

My heart was racing when I saw Marina's white car pull into the driveway. I waited in the kitchen and as I heard my mom answer the door and invite them in. My pulse quickened as a huge smile crept across my face. Then Carl walked in. It was as if the band in the soundtrack of my life had just played a rousting rendition of the blooper music, because Carl was nothing like I had imagined. He had dark hair, like his sister, that was perfectly coiffed in a Deney Terrio style and he was wearing a dark suit and tie, but all I saw was his NOSE. And it was that big.

My heart, the one that had been giddy with school girl anticipation, dropped into my stomach and stayed there for the rest of the night. I greeted Carl, exchanged pleasantries and we soon left for the party. I remember being PISSED. I felt like I had been duped, and what I did next I'm not proud of.

When we got to the party, I ditched Carl faster than The Flash and left him to the dogs. You see, all my friends were curious about my mystery man and so when we arrived, he was pretty popular from all angles. Everyone questioning him about this and that. But when the questions had been exhausted, Carl and his NOSE were left alone in a strange place, all alone, to sit and wonder what his sister had gotten him into.

I think I must have talked to Carl again at the party, because he left with me, but once we got to the dance, my super hero powers were working over time, because I ditched that guy quick. WHAT A BITCH. And looking back now, who the hell did I think I was? Poor Carl. I'm not sure if he had a good time or not, because I hardly saw him at all that night. I think I saw him dancing with someone, but I can't be sure. Anytime Carl came near me I jetted off in another direction and quick. And the hardest part for me to swallow is that I didn't care. I somehow felt justified for my actions, because I had been duped. WHAT A BITCH.  Poor Carl was a complete gentleman, in the five minutes of my time I granted him that evening and I was that cold-hearted, stuck up bitch I so hated.

Looking back, Carl was not bad looking at all. His nose was big, yes, but if I think hard enough, he looked exactly like a large nosed Ralph Macchio and I remember him being polite and sweet, even after I treated him like dirt. Was looks all that mattered to me at that time? I guess so. What a tragedy.

Carl, if you are reading this today I want you to know that I am sorry and that 30 years later I am still sorry for the way that I treated you. I hope that God gave you a reward for withstanding what was probably your worst date EVER and if I ever meet you again, I OWE you one. A BIG one.

Who knows? Maybe somewhere, Carl has his own blog and he's already told the story of his bitchy and horrible date. I'm sure all his readers assured him that she was just not worthy of him.

The Ex Files

I have a question that I need your valued opinion on.

Emily Post, I'm not, so I figured I'd ask all of you. You guys always give me the best advice anyway, so here goes:

Is it proper etiquette to send your upcoming wedding invitation to your ex-wife's home?

Granted, your two children live in your ex-wife's home and both children make up the entire wedding party. It's pretty much a sure bet-a lock- that both of them will be there. The children are kids-ages 14 and 12, so they are not invited "with guests". The kids will be with him on that entire weekend, so they have no need for time, place, and all the other things a wedding invitation entails.

Now before you go thinking I have "bitter ex-wife syndrome", let me explain. Four years later, we have both effectively moved on and the wedding has been a known fact for quite some time. No surprises. I habor no ill will towards anyone other than Jackass for other reasons far too numerous to mention here. For the sake of the children we manage to be civil-most of the time. Makes us no different than the thousands of other divorced poeple in the world.

When I got the mail and saw the invitation, I found it a bit strange, but at first glance I thought to myself, "OK, they need to respond", but the more I let it marinate in my mind, the more I think this was meant to be a direct slap in my face.

Of course, by giving it life and putting it to words here on The Dandy, I have effectively lit the match and ignited the bonfire that was intended. And Jackass would like nothing better, but sorry to disappoint, I am now curious and I am looking to clarify the grey area here.

What's your opinion/expertise on this matter?