Clyde And His Bonnie

The legend of Bonnie and Clyde is at it again. A married couple from Quincy, MA ; Joseph and Jennifer Carrier, decided to support their heroin habit by robbing banks up and down the East Coast with their seven dogs in tow. Their brazen crime spree started in Ludlow Mass when they robbed a bank and made off with not-enough-cash-to-make-it-worth-it. To make things worse-the couple made their getaway in a stolen brown Buick Encore-that Jennifer is wanted for the theft of.

Living the glamorous life of crime, these two then continued on to Florida where the Bonnie and Clyde act continued. Joseph walked into a Wells Fargo in Palm Coast and demanded "large bills". The teller reportedly gave him $300.00, before he reached in and grabbed more leaving with $800.00 total. I'm not sure these two-with their seven Brussel Griffons dogs-can live a life in the lamb and support a heroin habit on $800.00.

So they would, of course have to do it again. And do it again they did, yesterday. This time they chose a bank in Wilmington, Delaware and took off in the stolen car. Police were called and the couple was spotted on I-95 where a high speed  chase ensued.You know how that goes... the couple was arrested and taken into custody. I'm thinking Bonnie and Clyde didn't have a heroin habit that made them sick, but the addiction is still the same. The addiction the the high. The high that they get from stealing and the high they get from the drugs.

These two had a better ending to the story than Bonnie and Clyde, although they may not think so. They get to continue living-without each other-in prison and have a chance at getting clean and turning their lives around. Bonnie and Clyde didn't get that opportunity-prison or not. They ended up dead. Killed by the authorities that hunted them in an ambush. Although their story went on  o became one of legend the real tragedy is that they never got to live long enough to realize that crime, really doesn't pay.

For Real? This Is A Good One.

I nearly fell off my chair when I saw this today...

Shared on FB by my blogger friend Sybil Law, this morning, it's a story that's about as crazy as it gets! The cookies you see above were made to look like.....vagina's. Yup vagina's but that's not the crazy part of the story. I'll get to that part but first I have to comment on the absurdity of the cookies above. Like those things are LOL worthy, but somewhat appealing at the same time. Which makes me LOL even harder!! Vag cookies.....good times.

Anyway, the crazy part of the story is even better than the cookies made to look like vaginas.

The crazy part of the story is that those cookies were made by a mother of a second grader for said second grader's entire class. Reportedly the mother was "excited for the opportunity" to bring in some baked goods for the kids. According to mommyish.com , the mother brought the treats in and announced to the teacher that she should use this as her opportunity to teach the children about vaginas! When the teacher removed the tin foil and saw the cookies, adorned with ALL KINDS of vagina's, she emphatically told the mother that she could not serve the cookies to the children as they were inappropriate. The mother, furious at this, stormed out of the classroom leaving the baked vag's behind.

OMG...that is a good one! Crazy bat shit mom then sends the teacher an email with the rantings of an insane person about how she's missing the opportunity to "educate and empower women". Hilarious. She claims she's trying to spread her message?

I gotta say, I'm not quite sure if it's her message, that's she's trying to spread. It's obvious to me that this mother is definitely off her meds.

I Was Just Thinking....

What a world we live in.

Donald Sterling, the LA Clippers basketball team owner is in hot water over racist remarks he made recently that were caught on tape. Caught by Sterling's alleged girlfriend.

Ooooh boy. This one is ugly. The tapes, obtained by TMZ.com, posted on their website on April 25, 2014, were of an alleged conversation that took place between Sterling and his alleged girlfriend. The argument on tape was about the photograph above, posted to her Instagram account. The photo has since been deleted, but the damage has been done. Sterling's reps have stated that the validity of the recording is questionable and could have possibly been tampered with. OK, if that's his story he's going to stick to it. I'm not sure this is the case but it's possible.

I listened to the entire audio of the conversation and I cannot believe what I was hearing...

The high lights/low lights for me:

DONALD: "Ya, it bothers me a lot that you want to promo...broadcast that you're associating with black people. Do you have to?"
GF: "You associate with black people."

GF: "But not in public?"
DONALD: "But why publicize it on the Instagram and why bring it to my games?"

GF: "What's wrong with minorities?"
DONALD: "Minorities are fabulous. Fabulous."

DONALD: "How about your whole life, everyday, you could do whatever you want. You can sleep with them, you can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask is that you not promote it on that and not to bring them to my games."

Here's my thing: I cannot believe that there are actually people that are this RACIST in the world today. The last time I checked, Mr. Sterling employs a team full of black professional athletes and promotes them daily. His alleged girlfriend states on tape quite emphatically that she too is of mixed race. Although she questions him on his statements, she continues to use terms of endearment like "honey" and "sweetie" when speaking to Sterling. At one point she even states that he is in love with her even though she is "black and Mexican".

Here's the other thing. I am not sympathetic to either party here..My opinion of both of these human beings is better left unsaid, but to alegedly lure someone into a taped conversation unknowingly for your own personal and financial gain is deplorable. Yet in today's tech savvy, over sharing world, it's a real possibility. Just ask Donald Sterling.

Somewhere, some how Harvey Levin is so happy he decided to stop practicing law. His pursuit of "justice" has much more meaning today.

Are You Kidding Me?

Dear A**holes Out There Driving This Morning,

How freakin hard is it to stop and let a car pass in front of you? Are you so much in a gard damn hurry that you've lost all of your common courtesy? And Holy Hell No, why would you let TWO cars through the line of traffic? I get that everybody is on their way to get to where they need to be, but me and the driver in front of me sat waiting to take a left on a busy street, into the flow of traffic for what seemed like an eternity! I was floored!

The person on the car in front of me must have been pissed too because as he inched closer into oncoming traffic, just to let them know he was there, trying to go left, you all swerved around him like he was an idiot! It was sort of like a game then...with all of you giving him dirty looks and swerving around him like maniacs.

I have to know... how hard is it to let someone go in front of you?? How many seconds out of your precious day will it cost you to be NICE? And a whole line of parading as*hole drivers for minutes on end?? What are the odds of that happening?

Really, I have only to thank you because when we finally did get through traffic, I stopped for every car that I saw on the road today. Every one, and it felt amazing! I took a pleasure in knowing that that tiny gesture of common road courtesy quite possibly got someone to where they needed to be a bit faster, and a lot more pleasant for sure. I took great pride in knowing that I was not the selfish butt hole that you all are.

Thanks for the reminder that a good deed never goes unpunished.
I'm sure all your a**hole friends that were behind me today when I stopped for every car that needed it where pretty pissed too!

xoxo-
Candy

Ghost Writing

So you all know I watch those zany Real Housewives, as I have said before, they are my favorite guilty pleasure. I watch them all. Much to my delight, Real Housewives New York debuted last night and the antics started immediately. Back are almost all of the women (minus LuAnne) and the fireworks begin when Aviva begins talking about her book deal. Aviva was the one housewife everybody had a problem with when we left them last season, so it was amazing to me that she spent the first episode making amends for her bad behavior and then the second episode destroying all that hard work.

But this post is not about that, per se, this post is about what happened when Carole and Aviva engaged in what is now known on social media sites as #bookgate. Quick history: Carole Radziwill is a journalist by trade, and has worked in the news media and magazine world for what she says is 20 years. She calls herself a "writer", claiming "that's what I do" and she has written 2 books, one which reached the New York Time Best Seller List. Aviva Drescher is what one could call a true NY housewife, who according to Carole, "never had a job outside the home". The second season drama is over Aviva's book deal with a publisher and a lunch between Aviva and Carole where the topic of ghost writers came into discussion.

A ghost writer according to Wikipedia " is a writer who writes books, articles, stories, reports, or other texts that are officially credited to another person." 

Sounds interesting, and if you think so, read on. Aviva and Carole discuss the topic of using a ghost writer. Neither claims to have used one, and then things get hairy. The awkward lunch takes a turn for the worst and Carole takes offense at Aviva's intimation that she used a ghost writer on her first book. Aviva then goes on a gossip campaign, telling all of the other Housewives that "her publishing house told her that Carole used a ghost writer on her first book"  A lot of back an forth takes place, but what sticks in my mind is Carole's objection to the whole topic of ghost writing. Carole has a real point here: she is a career journalist. She has built that career working for news organizations, writing for magazines and working in the field as a journalist for many years. Her books stand alone and her pedigree is impeccable, so I stand behind her when she feels that her reputation as a writer is being called into question. She has earned the right to be called a professional in her trade.

Aviva is a housewife of several wealthy men (not at the same time), and now a reality TV star whose personal story of triumph (she had her leg amputated at a young age in a horrific accident)  is inspirational at best. She was well educated an evidently academic enough to score a book deal with a professional publishing house.

What's the problem ladies? OK, I understand Carole's objection to Aviva telling the entire WORLD on TV that Carole used a ghost writer when she didn't. According to me 'dems is fighting words, and its dirty pool when you try to discredit someone's career. But Carole is not without fault. Because Aviva is not a "journalist" it's not to say she can't become a "writer" and that the idea that she could sit down and write a draft for a book on her own absurd.

Here's what I mean: I have a Master's Degree in Journalism from Boston University. I have this daily blog that I have pretty much written every weekday for 7 years. Before that, I worked briefly writing in local news and TV. Does that give me the right to call myself a writer? Do I need the pedigree of a paycheck from a news organization or a national magazine to lay claim to that? And if not, can I never claim to be somewhat of a writer? What about all those people out there who extensively journal every day, write short stories or blogs? Are they fraudulent "writers" too?

I'm not sure I understand this whole thing. Who has the right to say who a writer really is? I don't deny that hard work and career accolades are definitely constitute a profession. But does that mitigate someone who puts a pen to paper or a finger to a keyboard.......then hits the publish button?

Booty Boogie Bonanza

Hey Blogggers! It's Friday and  Friday's are the day I sometimes like to visit our dear, old friends at Wally World. While I haven't visited them in a while, it never ceases to amaze me what I find when I log on to the peopleofwalmart site. Today's edition seems to have a theme, and Bootylicious would be the sound track!

So away we go!

Oh, Papa! I can't find fault here! I have to give the dude credit. He's got killer legs and a nice svelte figure. I also give him props on his outfit. Dare I say it? The guy has perky boobs too. Add in the fab zebra print purse and this guy just could be the envy of all the silver haired dolls in WalMart.

There is so much going on here, I don't know where to begin. So when you have back fat rolls, is it ok to showcase them in this fashion? And did I say fashion? I am truly mistaken because the 80's called and they want their look back! That is one hell of a display of ripped and torn, shards of clothing. Oh hell girl, no.

While some of you may enjoy this, I say, REALLY? OK the girl has what seems to be a nice ass, and on the beach its totally appropriate. But waltzing into Walmart on a sunny afternoon? I hope the blood pressure machines are working in there.

I have no words....except, working girl?

So our friend here looks to be wearing the newly crafted, plastic "say no to crack" cover. Cover being the operative word, cuz this is doing no covering of crack. Seriously? What the hell is that? I don't get it.

Somebody forgot to feed the cat....

And finally! The Redneck version of the "Whale Tail". Cheap and just distinctive enough to get Uncle Earl to notice!

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to keep it in your pants this weekend.

Sneaky Pest

I HATE sneaky people. And nosy people too.

I just want you to know that I'm on to you, dude. You're not fooling anyone. Fu*k off and mind your own business. Why are you so worried about mine?  You can't be doing well if you are stalking me, so my suggestion to you is to worry more about what you are doing and less about what I am doing.

And don't think for one second that your little spy/flunkies are fooling me either. Back OFF! or I will take action and you don't want to get on my bad side.It's not pretty over there.

I guess I should be flattered that you think I am such a threat, but now you're beginning to annoy me.

Take this as your warning and don't push me.

Friday Funny

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!" 

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker." Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car" he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" 

The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber." I have to laugh every time I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least 5 boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!" 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/random/blonde411.html

I Was Just Thinking....

• B's-Pittsburgh Sat night! I'm gearing up for a good hockey game. I think this is going to be the series of the playoffs. 

• Get this: buzz is that, this tea kettle is stirring up some major controversy. JC Penney put this "Bells and Whistles Stainless Steel Tea Kettle" on a major billboard on the 405 Freeway in Southern California. Seems innocent enough, right? Commuters and people in the area are complaining that the tea kettle resembles Adolf Hitler. Really??? The curved handle is said to resemble Hitler's hairline. Do you see it? Looks more like a Colorforms character to me.

• You've got to know things have taken a turn for the worst when you get a public lashing from Courtney Love. Evidently Love Tweeted some advice to falling teen star Amanda Bynes on Monday night. "Pull it together babe", Love Tweeted at Amanda Bynes, to which Bynes responded via Tweet: "Courtney Love is the ugliest woman I've ever seen, To be mentioned by her at all makes me and all my friends laugh." Hello Amanda? Have you checked the mirror lately? And if you have "all your friends" around you, why doesn't one of them tell you that you are on a crash course for disaster?

• Police say this guy...Who is known as "Thong Caped Scooter Man", isn't breaking any laws riding around Madison Wisconsin. Seems he got a little too close for comfort when he rode by an elementary school when the kiddies were walking to their bus. Staff at the JFK Elementary School in Madison alerted authorities that Thong Man was in the vicinity of an elementary school. He was questioned and said it was unintentional, but may have been "poor judgement". Good thing for Thong Man we live in the USof A, because he is free to exercise his constitutional rights. Although some may say he's just a bum....  

Friday Freakfest

Hey Peeps! It's Friday and it's been a while since I've done a Freaky Friday Wally World Wacko's edition on The Daily Dandy, so lets see what we've been missing shall we?

Away we go!

He's kinda cute... and I applaud his use of neons! He's right in the height of fashion because the wedge never goes out of style. Let's hope he can pick out the perfect shade to compliment his ensemble.

Actually, I'm kinda pissed about this one. OK, so shes's too big to be wearing those shorts. OK, but this is the US of A and our forefathers fought so that we could have certain freedoms and wearing shorts with your fat ass hanging out, if you so choose, is one of them.So check out the lady taking the picture in the rear view mirror...and the kid in the back seat. Way to go lady. Teach your kid about kindness and compassion instead.

I call bullshi* on this one.... Really? Cmon, there's no way this dude does NOT know that his ass crack is showing!!! Feel the draft? A true BUTT head, indeed.

I need to present every side to an argument. Looks like our forefathers fought so that hookers could dress they way they wanted too also...

These ladies are fresh off the Butlik groupie tour bus. Restocking the necessary refreshments..

And finally...another great example of outstanding parenting. Yes son, your daddy loves strippers and he wants the entire world to know it.

Well all I can say is this Bloggers, have a great weekend and try to stay off the pole.

Peace!

Useless Tidbits

• So there were two Powerball winners, one in Arizona and one in Missouri. Some people have all the luck. I'll just keep telling myself that 500 million dollars would have screwed my life up anyway. Right?

• I was watching the XFactor last night and I have decided that Britney Spears is either dumb as rocks or on some serious drugs. The chick is seriously off, like really off. Sad. 

• Seriously disgusted by this story. Quick recap: Young couple from New Hampshire allegedly beat and burned the young girl's 3 year old son so badly that the doctors feared he was blinded. About a week ago they dropped the child off at a local hospital and took off. The child is fighting between surgeries, and expected to make a long recovery. The authorities found them yesterday in, get this: Universal Studios in Orlando. 5 Words: (and they aren't nice words) HUNG. UP. BY. THE. BALLS.

• Frick told me something interesting when she was home this weekend. She, being a freshman in college, just got to see her old high school friends for the first time this school year over the weekend. She told me that quite a few of them started smoking. I found this interesting because my theory is this: these kids live a sheltered life. Even though they do a hell of a lot more than I think they do, they've probably never been exposed to many smokers. What do you think?

Good Grief America

So the other day, the cable guy came to my house to update my cable boxes. While he was there he checked the DVR service by recording a random program. When I checked later, I noticed that he had recorded the new afternoon program from Good Morning America called, "Good Afternoon America". I was psyched because I was curious about it so I sat down to watch it.


 Being a loyal GMA viewer, this new program, featuring Lara Spencer and Josh Elliot, I thought would be a younger, hipper, extension of the Good Morning America format I have become accustomed to. Boy was I disappointed! 


 I couldn't believe what I watched. To put it bluntly: it was stupid TV. It was all about fluff. Jammed with celebrity gossip, segments about flirting at work, hair tips for frizzy hair and celebrity interviews and even a game called "Marry, Ditch, Kill." which everyone knows is just a PG rated version of the "Marry, F*ck, Kill" game. It was ridiculous. 


Now I know what you are thinking.You're thinking that someone like me would love this new format, right? Wrong. I like a bit of fluff sprinkled in with my news and smart interviews, but this? This is embarrassing. Lara Spencer navigates the fluff quite beautifully, which speaks more to her professionalism than her ease with the subject matter, but poor Josh Elliot. I think even he knows that this is borderline silly. He looks like a fish out of water. 


Is this what ABC thinks women at home want to watch? Do they think the average American stay at home woman is dumb? Or do they want to make her that way? Because this is quite literally the dumbing down of America.

Stop It....

Really? Honey, no way. Poor kid.

 Everyone had a great time at the party. Especially Rex the dog.

This is a huge win in my book. My kids would be pumped! 
Unfortunately I'm not that cool. Sorry Frick and Frack. 

C'mon now, this is funny...

I'm still laughing at this one...Bwahahahahaha!!

I had to make this one big so you could see it. From babes...truth. Children learn what they live.