Thursday, March 26, 2015

Jive Turkey



Just quietly sitting here going crazy. 

But one can literally drive themselves crazy, can't they? I mean focusing only on what's wrong is easy, and detrimental to any chance of positivity. I swear, this dark and dreary winter has done just about all it can to depress even the happiest of people. But I'm done with it. I'm done complaining about it and I'm done feeling helpless. There's power in change! Turning over a new leaf means accepting whatever life hands you and that despite it all you know that you will be ok. I will be ok. The snow will melt-the dirt and salt will get cleaned up, the sun will come out and the world will look new again. Renewal is inspiring. I will look for action in that inspiration. 

Elanor Roosevelt once said that "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I say, "Can't let the turkeys keep you down!" Down is not where I belong. 

I found my funk and funny, it is precisely that same funk that pulled me out of one. 



Monday, March 23, 2015

When Did The Flip Phones Flip Flop?



So lately I've been binge watching "Breaking Bad" on Netflix. It's quite possibly my favorite TV series of all time, but I've noticed a curious fact while watching.

Everyone on the show has a flip phone...

So I thought about this for a second and I realized that not only do they have flip phones on this show but NO ONE texts each other. In fact, I am currently on the very last season of the 5 season blockbuster and so far there has been only one text message read in context to the plot and it was on Season 5 circa 2013. I then looked back at the air dates of each of the seasons and I started to understand the flip phone thing a bit better. The Pilot episode first aired in January 2008 and the series then progresses over the next 5 years to it's final episode that aired on Sept 29th 2013. The iPhone didn't launch till 2007 and it revolutionized the mobile device industry over the next few years.                    

So then I got to thinking...where are the "smart phones"on the show? Where are the iPhones and why aren't the cast constantly checking their emails and Facebook updates on their phones during the episodes? Why are they not texting each other incessantly like we all do now? I had to think about it. Not even in the later episodes dating 2011 and later, does the phone become a central part of the plot?

When did the "smart phone" revolution start? There's no question that we are now a mobile device driven society. Do you check your email on you cell phone? Do you use a social media site on your cell phone? If you answered yes to both of those questions then you are a living, breathing adult that functions in the world today. Even my dad, just this morning, texted me something important. So much a part of our everyday society today that 48% of all online sales come from a mobile device.

So I gotta ask again? When exactly did the smart phone revolution take over?





Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Curious Case Of The Missing Takeout.


While away on a small respite with my family, we indulged in one of our favorite traditions back home-Sunday Chineese dinner. The food was great, the company better and we enjoyed our family ritual in a different state and atmosphere. After dinner was done, we asked for the left over food to packed up and then headed to our home away from home where we safely ensconced said leftovers in the fridge.

Important to note-there were 5 boxes of Chineese takeout. 4 large boxes and one small box.

Day 2 of our fabulous vacation, and the family decided to grill dinner on the fantastic grill out back. That morning, we went to the supermarket and got all of the needed items for the feast. The menu was planned-including some of the stir fry veggies from the Chineese take out. I confirmed the veggies were still a viable entity, by opening the box and tasting a cold piece. Frick, who is here with some friends, informed me that she would be eating some of the leftovers for lunch. I know that the veggies are safe around a bunch of young girls so I then went on about the rest of the day.

It's now later that afternoon and I come back to the house to begin preparations for our cook out. I had to start the water for corn, marinate some of the meat etc, when I noticed that there was only 
1 takeout box left in the fridge- and it wasn't the stir fry veggies. No biggie, I thought, the girls must have eaten the veggies with lunch and I thought I probably should have told them of my intended use for the veggies for dinner. When the girls come back, I jokingly say to them, "hey, you must have been hungry because you ate the veggies too, huh?" Frick is surprised. "No mom, we only ate what was in 2 of the boxes." Really? I asked where the other 2 boxes had gone. They had no idea. 

I then asked My Guy. He had no knowledge of the whereabouts of the 2 missing boxes. Ok, I thought now this is curious. I'm so curious that I decide to satisfy my curiosity by checking the trash can. Interestingly enough, the trash had just been taken out. I inquired with everyone in the house as to who had taken out the trash? My Guy said he had taken out the trash, but did not throw away the missing 2 boxes. Now I'm more than intrigued. WTF had happened to the 2 missing boxes? If Frick and her friends had not thrown them away, and My Guy had not thrown them away, and I know for sure that I had not thrown them away, then where were the 2 missing boxes

I tried to dismiss the whole incident as unimportant, but the nagging mystery poked at my psyche. Who was lying and why? And was there a stranger who came into the house and took the 2 boxes of leftover takeout? The empty trash can held the answer and my curiousity was just about killing me, so I went out to the garage and I opened the trash can. The nearly empty can held the white kitchen garbage bag clearly visible, so I reached in and retrieved the bag. Yes, I opened it because at this point I needed to know if the 2 missing boxes were in there. Just as Frick and My Guy had said, the 1 large box and 1 small box the girls had eaten for lunch were inside the bag but not the 2 missing boxes

I can't say I wasn't disappointed. Now Im really perplexed with this strange situation and I tie up the white garbage bag and throw it back into the trash can. It was then that I spot 1 of the 2 missing boxes thrown at the bottom of the can! Right next to it is the other missing box, but curiously they are without a trash bag, just thrown randomly into the can???!! And none of the food had been touched, as they were both still full of food and veggies.

What the? And here's the kicker- no one is admitting to anything. It has now become a running joke between us, with everyone accusing one or the other of lying about the missing boxes of takeout.

What do you think happened here bloggers? I'm just about ready to think there is a ghost on vacation with us. 


Friday, March 13, 2015

Friday Funny



A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1
What can I do?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to download
Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the applications Jewelry 3.0 and Flowers 3.5
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.
Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be downloaded into your system.
So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are unsupported applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.
We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Today's Special: 2 For 1 A "Real Bargain"

So there has been a lot of funny talk about marriage at The Daily Dandy lately. I called to memory-and even pulled up and recited-a post that made me chuckle. I thought it really put things into perspective then and I still do now, as I have repeated this story more than once in the past week.I hope it brings you a laugh and some perspective too.


This is a RE-POST which first appeared here on July 29th, 2010. Titled "Divine Intervention"


So I was at my store the other day and one of my favorite customers and I were having a chat. We were talking about marriage and spouses and such, seeing as I'm heading down that path again in just 5 short weeks. We talked about longevity and commitment and how marriage is work. I was telling her that my mom has been complaining that she is really frustrated with my dad lately, for one reason or another. My customer then relayed this story to me, which I found to be quite amusing, indeed. I then, immediately relayed the story to my mom. True or not, this is one I will remember.

She told me that she had seen an interview with the Rev Billy Graham and that she always calls it to mind when she is feeling less than amorous with her spouse. She said it gives her peace.
The story goes like this:

The Reverend was asked by the interviewer if the Lord had ever spoken to him directly. The Reverend response was, "Only once." He went on to say that he had been arguing with his wife one day and while shaving his face alone in the bathroom, still stewing over the specifics of their argument, the Lord spoke to him and said, "You're no bargain, either."

I couldn't help but think it was genius.

Whether or not the higher power actually intervened and spoke those words of truth to the Reverend is completely irrelevant to the point, which is, so true.

"You're no bargain, either"

Damn, ain't that the truth.
This is not an endorsement of the Reverends teachings, or a religious or political agenda advancement. It's just a simple take on that age-old commitment of marriage.

It sure puts things into perspective doesn't it?


Monday, March 9, 2015

Monday Minutia


  • Saw a post on FB that cracked me right up. It said, "If Mondays were shoes, they'd be Crocs"


  • And on that note, the funniest thing I ever saw on Twitter was a tweet from a dude who said, "Whoever just left me a voice mail, could you send me a text and let me know if I should listen to it?" 

  • So all the weather people here are foaming at the mouth over the fact that we need 2" more of snow to break the record for the snowiest winter ever. I'm thinking, really? Tell that to the thousands of us here dealing with ice dam damage and seasonal depression..

  • I'm almost finished with the 3rd season of "Breaking Bad". Why did I never watch this show when everyone was telling me I had to? I'm now obsessed! This is the greatest thing on television! I love the whole dynamic between Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. And Aaron Paul's, " Yo, where's my money?...Bitch!" Interesting to note: "Breaking Bad" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Highest Rated TV Series.


  • The Boston Herald reported that My Tommy is thinking that after he retires from football, he may go the Hollywood way, via an acting career. I say whatever My Tommy is selling...I'm buying.
Sheer perfection...I'd pay to watch him recite the alphabet.


Wednesday, March 4, 2015

#WhatIsBeauty




I talk about beauty all day, every day. My job is to interpret, educate and inspire in people a simple beauty style. I am constantly inspired by other women; by what they say, by how they act,  who they are and by how they interpret themselves. I often wonder, do they see the beauty that I see?  And what does that mean to them? So I decided to make it my job to try and find out.

What is beauty? To you? What's your definition? 

Send me: in the comments section, via email or social media, a 15-25 second video (or written statement. Videos are preferred) with your answer. Your answers will be compiled and used to promote a #WhatIsBeauty message on all of The Candy Bar sites. 

I encourage you to send me your video! We are all beautiful and together we can inspire other women to define beauty on our own terms!

Click on the link below to send your video to any of these sites! 

Facebook
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The Candy Bar- click on Contact Us and send your video via email.

Join the movement #WhatIsBeauty

"Maybe it’s NOT Maybelline. Maybe you were just born with it."
Mandy Hale