Monday, January 18, 2016

Mini Me

I got the chance to spend some quality time with Frick this weekend before she headed back to the Big Apple and you know what I discovered?

She is a total Mini Me.

I guess I always knew this to be true, but the older she gets the more I begin to see the similarities in our personalities. She is totally me.

She's been going through some stuff recently, and that stuff is stuff we all go through. Growing pains, heartache and the kind of stuff that challenges the foundation of who we are. And she's handled it much like I do-or would have. She even made some statements that I have made when faced with a similar situation. I was kind of surprised.

She's a mini me.

We talked...a lot. And we discussed things and I gave her advice as best I could. I think she gets it, but because we are so similar I feel her pain, quite literally.

We both work hard and are focused on the end result.
We both play hard and enjoy play as a satisfying reward.
We both love hard-sometimes to our detriment.
And we both feel really hard, which in turn makes us vulnerable and obvious. We wear our hearts on our sleeves.

She too, has integrity and a great capacity to "over think" things, which gives me the unique opportunity to provide her with some perspective. Something I sometimes seek in my own mother. I can hardly believe this amazing young woman came from me and is like me in so many ways. I'm left to question whether this is a good thing or a bad thing?  Of course, I hope she has a different outcome with her life. One that is better than the life I have lived and I wish for her not to duplicate the mistakes I have made. Let's hope history does not repeat itself here.

Like they saying goes, "Mirror, mirror on the the wall. I am my mother after all...."

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

My Birthday Ode To My Mom On My Birthday

She was a young and vibrantly beautiful woman, two years short of her 40th birthday, and ready to pop with her fifth child. Almost as beautiful on the inside as out, she possessed an incredible strength that she still holds today, and she knew that she had to be prepared. It was early December, but the spirit of Christmas was already heavy in the hustle and bustle of the air. She had to be finished with her Christmas shopping because she would never disappoint her 4 other children. The toys were bought, wrapped and safely hidden from sight as she knew the time for baby could be at any moment. She even drove an hour away, enormous belly and all, to secure the coveted ski boots for her oldest. There was no Cyber Monday in those days-it was late in the 60's. Those who knew her best were not surprised. She was extremely capable and the birth of a child, for her, was no deterrent.

Soon she felt the child was ready and off she went to the hospital. It was 8 or 9 am when the baby girl arrived! She didn't remember much because of the anesthesia, but she remembered being ecstatic God had given her another girl. Two girls, she had first, then two sons, and this baby girl was a joy to behold! Back then, the gender of the child you carried was a mystery to be revealed only at the joyous moment. She went in with a few ideas of names. "What would we name her," she thought. And she remembered the lovely nurse who took such good care of her while in the hospital. The nurse was named Candace and she quickly decided it was a most beautiful choice. Baby Candace, was to her, the most wonderful Christmas gift of all. Her husband was born on the following day many years before, and they joked that the baby wanted to make her own entrance into the world. Candace would not wait, they laughed, she had to make it all her own. Oh, how they knew me even back then. 

Some forty something years later and she is still a beautiful and strong woman and still very much prepared for her children's Christmas. 16 grandchildren later, 2 of them from Candace, she still toils with the Christmas shopping for each and every one. The joy of child birth long past her, she has reveled in the wonder of the many births that her children experienced as if they were her own. She still possesses the ability to be the mother she has always been; Loving, caring, nurturing and strong. 

God, she always says gave her the gift of her 5 children; like her 5 fingers, she couldn't live without her fingers. But really we are the fortunate ones. God truly gave us the gift of her. So lucky, are we...

Monday, November 16, 2015

From Paris With Love

There were so many incredible things that happened over the weekend, but none more devastating than the attack on our innocence. Terror took front stage on Friday and our innocence was the victim. But rest assured good prevails, as it always does because evil has no place amongst our existence. Yet we are changed as a world, and we now know that this cowardice act of terror will NOT, can NOT, become commonplace. The lives of the innocent that were lost will never be forgotten and this war we are fighting will somehow bring justice to a broken hearted world.

The words of the victims/survivors tell a story of courage, love and triumph for life; not at all what the hate that entered into the city of Paris on Friday night intended.
I came across this today when I was going to post something different entirely-and I am humbled by this young girl's resolve and by her courage.

This is the Facebook post of  Isobel Bowdery, a young college student who attended the rock and roll show at the Bataclan Theatre in Paris on Friday night:

"you never think it will happen to you. It was just a friday night at a rock show. the atmosphere was so happy and everyone was dancing and smiling. and then when the men came through the front entrance and began the shooting, we naiively believed it was all part of the show. It wasn’t just a terrorist attack, it was a massacre. Dozens of people were shot right infront of me. Pools of blood filled the floor. Cries of grown men who held their girlfriends dead bodies pierced the small music venue. Futures demolished, families heartbroken. in an instant. Shocked and alone, I pretended to be dead for over an hour, lying among people who could see their loved ones motionless.. Holding my breath, trying to not move, not cry – not giving those men the fear they longed to see. I was incredibly lucky to survive. But so many didn’t. The people who had been there for the exact same reasons as I – to have a fun friday night were innocent. This world is cruel. And acts like this are suppose to highlight the depravity of humans and the images of those men circuling us like vultures will haunt me for the rest of my life. The way they meticoulsy aimed at shot people around the standing area i was in the centre of without any consideration for human life. It didn’t feel real. i expected any moment for someone to say it was just a nightmare. But being a survivor of this horror lets me able to shed light on the heroes. To the man who reassured me and put his life on line to try and cover my brain whilst i whimpered, to the couple whose last words of love kept me believing the good in the world, to the police who succeded in rescuing hundreds of people, to the complete strangers who picked me up from the road and consoled me during the 45 minutes I truly believed the boy i loved was dead, to the injured man who i had mistaken for him and then on my recognition that he was not Amaury, held me and told me everything was going to be fine despite being all alone and scared himself, to the woman who opened her doors to the survivors, to the friend who offered me shelter and went out to buy new clothes so i wouldnt have to wear this blood stained top, to all of you who have sent caring messages of support – you make me believe this world has the potential to be better. to never let this happen again. but most of this is to the 80 people who were murdered inside that venue, who weren’t as lucky, who didnt get to wake up today and to all the pain that their friends and families are going through. I am so sorry. There’s nothing that will fix the pain. I feel priviledged to be there for their last breaths. And truly beliving that I would join them, I promise that their last thoughts were not on the animals who caused all this. It was thinking of the people they loved. As i lay down in the blood of strangers and waiting for my bullet to end my mere 22 years, I envisioned every face that I have ever loved and whispered I love you. over and over again. reflecting on the highlights of my life. Wishing that those i love knew just how much, wishing that they knew that no matter what happened to me, to keep belieivng in the good in people. to not let those men win. Last night, the lives of many were forever changed and it is up to us to be better people. to live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly will now never be able to fulfil. RIP angels. You will never be forgotten."

Friday, November 13, 2015


I've been a bit of a trainwreck lately.

In the best possible way, of course. But my blogging time has been directly affected. The more The Candy Bar's numbers go up, the less time I have to blog. These are good problems to have because when all is said and done, I gotta devote my time to the thing that pays the bills. All week I had plans to blog, yet I never seemed to find any time. Like this week I had plans to blog about:

  • "Don't Discount the Discount"-I went shopping with my high school girl friends on Monday afternoon. We went to a Nordstrom Rack and while there I found at least 6 things that I liked that were cheap. Normally I don't buy cheap items, but these were fashionable and fit well. The price made me think twice? Really? Expensive items don't make me think twice but the cheap ones did? Were they not good quality? Would they last? I bought them anyway and I'm glad I did. I have received lots of compliments on my discounted clothing and heck, if they don't last, it's not like I paid a bundle for them.

  •  "Stop and Smell the Success"-As I stated earlier, I'm getting busier and busier at the store. This is great, and it's about time but I have to remember I am not superwoman. Some days I forget to eat both breakfast AND lunch. Not good when come quitting time I'm so stressed out and I have a headache that I can't even enjoy my down time. I gotta take a moment. I've got to breathe, and let someone else do it. I don't have to always be the one doing. I already am the one worrying about it so I might as well let someone else do it.  

  • "Trainwreck"-After an especially stressful day, which resulted in a headache, I took two Advil, ate dinner and watched the movie "Trainwreck". It was just what the doctor ordered. It was a dumb-ass movie, but I loved it! Amy Schumer is hilarious. Who knew LeBron James was funny and a surprise cameo from John Cena made it worthwhile. The sex scene with Cena was worth the two hours alone! He was hysterical! The laugh was a great release and much needed.
Yeah...It seems like I woke up and it was Friday already. Where did the week go?

For now, I'm ok, great in fact. But I've got to remember that this train I'm on will NOT be a wreck.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

This Is Getting A Bit Weird...

So I'm watching TV on Friday night and I happen to catch the 20/20 episode with Leah Remini. By now the entire world knows that Leah, a once famous member of the Church of Scientology, is a Scientologist no longer. Leah has just written a book entitled, "Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology". In this controversial memoir Remini makes some stunning claims about her former church and it's teachings. Many of those claims have included the most famous Scientologist, Tom Cruise.

I thought this to be an interesting topic that I have little knowledge about, so I  continued to watch. Remini was a child who was brought into Scientology by her mother. So immersed in the church she became, that as a teen she attended the prestigious Sea Org, reserved for Scientology's most dedicated members. Remini claims that her education comprised of only Scientology related subjects, and she was dedicated to working her way successfully up the "Bridge of Scientology" which is much like climbing a ladder.  Remini admits to horrid living conditions while there and remembers getting in trouble for acts she committed with her then "boyfriend" that were prohibited by the church. Regardless of her previous discretion's, Remini continued to practice Scientology for 30 years.

It wasn't until her acting career took off and she became a celebrity when she was invited to the 2006 wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that she began to question things that were happening in the church. Her most stunning claims:

  • As a member of The Sea Org, Remini was required to sigh a billion year contract. Scientologists believe in reincarnation and are required to rejoin the church when they are reborn.
  • Remini and her husband were recruited to teach Tom Cruise and his then-girlfriend salsa dancing. During the lesson, Tom was forcibly kissing Katie Holmes to which Remini responded for them to "get a room". She was immediately written up and sent into "succession". (a form of punishment in the church)
  • Told by the church to invite her friend Jennifer Lopez and her then husband Marc Anthony to the Cruise wedding, she then realized that the church purposely sat them at different tables and purposely kept them away from each other during the evening. 
  • Remini, perplexed about the absence of her friend Shelly Miscavage, the wife of Scientology leader David, at Tom and Katie's wedding, questioned Shelly's whereabouts to which she was immediately written up and disciplined. 
But here's the most perplexing thing, Remini says in her book, " I am an apostate. I have lied, I have cheated, I have been selfish and have been a horrible wife and mother." Remini says those things in her book because she claims she knows how the church deals with people like her. "I wanted to be the first one to say it."

For their part, The Church of Scientology had plenty to say about Remini, all of it not becoming to an organization that calls itself a church. Their entire statement can be found HERE. The language they use to denounce Remini is troubling at best. The Church Of Scientology, calling Remini in a public statement, "self-absorbed, shallow and spoiled", it was Remini who claims to have voluntarily left the church. Scientology refutes that fact in their statement. Of Remini's departure they said,

"Her repeated ethical lapses and callous treatment of others led to an ecclesiastical review which resulted in her being expelled. She now regurgitates the tired myths the Church has repeatedly debunked, circulated by the same tiny clique of expelled former staffers bitter at having lost the positions they enjoyed before their malfeasance and unethical conduct were uncovered. Ms. Remini is now joined at the hip with this collection of deadbeats, admitted liars, self-admitted perjurers, wife beaters and worse."

I'm now beginning to understand why Nicole Kidman never stayed with nor had much contact with her kids after her 2011 divorce to Tom Cruise. I often wondered how a woman could leave her children. Now the picture is becoming clearer and clearer.

Evidently-Nicole was "self-absorbed, shallow and spoiled" too.

Monday, November 2, 2015

On Borrowed Time

Daylight saving time and, whoo hoo, if Fall Back isn't my favorite time of the year! I remember it best back in high school when it gave me an extra hour with my friends at that certain upperclassmen party! As I got older, had children and worked harder than ever that extra hour was a welcome gift. Yes, yesterday morning was a pure delight when I realized that I had an extra hour of sleep, rest or relax-whatever I wanted or needed to do-because time is precious, especially these days.

What could I do with my extra hour on a Sunday? More time to make my football picks. More time to do laundry, cook, clean, sleep or spend with my family. I felt like I hit the time lottery and my psyche had a slight  positive respite, if only for an extra hour. As happy as the extra hour makes me, there are those who do not delight in the borrowed time as I do.

Originally, the DST was method adopted to "save energy" during World War I and World War II, but recent studies actually show that this is not the case. It shows that it may decrease lighting use but may increase heating and AC use. It would seem that there are benefits and dangers to both moving the clocks ahead and back, and there are lobbying groups both pro and con for DST.

For me? I am just taking it one day at time and enjoying stealing an extra hour for myself. Talk to me in the spring when I have to give that hour back. For now I'm moving ahead living on the borrowed time.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

I Have An Emergen-C

It's THAT time of year..

It's inevitable. The temperatures are changing which means that sure as sh*t-we are all gonna get sick. And sure as sh*t, Monday night, on my drive home from work I noticed I had sprouted a sore throat that wasn't letting up. Christ! I can't get sick this week! My store manager is on vacation which means I HAVE to be at work for the next 8 days-sick or not. I had to think fast. If gone unattended, this could be an emergency of epic proportions.

Did I just say emergency? I think I did and that is exactly what came to mind when I decided Mr. Cold was asking to come into my body from the cold. I had some Emergen-C  at home and I knew this would be weapon of choice against the dastardly cold knocking at my door. I made the Emergen-C with hot water, because by now, not only is my throat sore but I am feeling a chill down to my bones.

It tasted good.
It made my throat feel better.
All of a sudden I wasn't so cold anymore.
The question was-did I kill the cold?

1000 mg of Vitamin C is no joke, (besides all the other sugar and crap that it is comprised of) and two days later I am still hitting the Emergen-C two times a day. But am I sick with a cold? A little.. slight congestion, sore throat fever and I'm up and feeling OK. I think it may have worked to shorten the duration of this cold. Hey! How about that?

I'm not taking any chances though. I figure a day or two more of this remedy, rest and taking it easy and we may not have an emergency on our hands.