Thursday, May 21, 2015
One day there were these 3 men in a bar. They all got drunk and went home. The next day, they gathered together and talked about how drunk they were.
The first guy said, "I was so drunk last night, I made out with the lamp." The second guy said, "That’s nothing, I got my DUI." The third guy said, "I went home and blew chunks."
The first and second guy asked the third guy what was so bad about that and the third guy said, "NO! You guys don’t understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
So I walked into a local grocery store this morning, to grab a couple of things before work. The moment I entered the aroma awakened my senses with the most amazing smell...
I looked at the cashier at the door and said, "I smell sausage."
She smiled and said, "Yes! The deli guys are making sausage for the lunch crowd."
The smell was heaven. It smelled, I told her, like Sunday morning. When I was a kid, being the last in a line of 5 children, I grew up to the smell of sweet Italian sausage cooking every Sunday morning. On Sunday, my mom would have a big breakfast waiting for her family. There was regularly an array of breakfast foods at my house on Sunday morning. My dad, 100% of Italian descent, would play tennis with his buddies early every Sunday morning and when he arrived home, breakfast was always ready.
Back in the innocence of those days, food was love. We never thought about fat content, calories and gluten. We ate because we were growing kids and my mother made sure we ate well. Sunday mornings were my favorite because it was the best of everything. We always had fresh fruit; cantaloupe, strawberries, blueberries and orange juice as well as toast, assorted danish and pastries, eggs, bacon, pancakes and of course, sweet Italian sausage. Sometimes she even made a breakfast quiche and if you wanted an omelette, my mom would be ready with the frying pan to accommodate.
I was usually the first to rise, my brothers and sisters all teens at the time, would wake later because the yummy smell could wake anyone from a deep slumber no matter how lazy they were. My dad, at the head of the table, ate slowly, with the Boston Globe in front of him and I would happily read the comic page and enjoy the breakfast with my family. Those were some of the happiest memories I have of growing up. It was our very own Brady Bunch moment, and it was part of our routine.
My children love sweet Italian sausage too. Our busy lives today, unfortunately never lent to the innocence of Sunday morning breakfast. When my kids were little there were early Sunday hockey games, lacrosse games or rehearsals to attend, so I tried my best to make Sunday mornings as special as I could. And yes, I cooked the sausage.
It's amazing how that smell this morning brought me such happiness and joyous memories all in a flash.
Frick and Frack are home from college now and you can bet that this Sunday will be special. In fact, I'm making the grocery list now. Be dammed fat, sugar, gluten and calories! I want to make a memory and I think that's far more important, if only for a Sunday morning.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Accidents happen, and the latest tragedy to hit Amtrak is a sobering reminder of just that. Seven people were killed and hundreds injured as the train they were traveling on derailed somewhere in Philly. This one hit home especially hard for me as I travel to New York on Amtrak frequently to see Frick. Amtrak is our chosen mode of transportation to get her home time and time again, most notably this Sunday, as Frick has a ticket booked to return home.
I'm not feeling too good about sending my kid home on an Amtrak train right about now.
I am saddened for the families of the loved ones lost and I pray for the recovery of the injured, but how can I knowingly put my child on a train after this? Some would argue that this might be the safest time to ride the train, others may decide not to press their luck. I'm more of the latter way of thinking, yet life goes on. It has to, don't you think? The train service has resumed, everyone more than likely exercising extreme caution to prevent against further accidents, but still I worry.
Maybe I'll drive down to pick her up myself.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
So, I just recently started wearing contact lenses. I have been complaining about my failing eyesight for a while now, so on Dec 26th, 2014, I went to the eye doc and got myself a pair of contact lenses. I can't even tell you how my life has changed for the better! I used to be so dependent on my glasses and now? I don't hardly use them at all. It's so much easier at work! I can see everything clearly and I'm not constantly fumbling and looking for my glasses. It is a blessing to be able to do my work without the distraction of searching for a clearer view.
Flash back to Dec 27, 2014: Day One of contact lens wear. It took me a good hour to insert the lenses properly into my eye and after more than a few tears, loud cussing and steely determination, it was mission accomplished!
Day 2: 45 minutes of cussing, frustrated cries for help, but I wasn't giving up! Finally success!
Day 3: 10 minutes! I may just be getting good at this!
Day 4: 10 minutes and I'm much more confident that this can become part of my everyday life.
Flash Forward to today: Five months of everyday wear, and I've got the insertion of the lenses down to a few minutes. My contact lenses are very dear to me and I can't imagine life without them BUT I discovered today that contact lenses are a very fickle thing.
I insert my contacts after I get out of the shower, before I apply my makeup. I did that today- which was no different than any other day. I got dressed and started to apply my makeup. No problems except for a slight tingle in my left eye-I then began to blow dry my hair and as I was doing so, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and realized immediately that I could not see clearly.
Where was my contact?
I know I put it in and I might even have been able to feel it, but where was it and why wasn't it doing it's job? This is what I had feared. I had heard about contacts that "get lost" in the eye but I never had experienced it till today. I then began the painful process of swiping my iris and cornea searching for the lost contact.
Redness and stinging in the eye ensued.
Black mascara and eyeliner began to expertly pool under my left eye, creating a mess of the artistry I had minutes before created. I couldn't stop though, I knew the contact was in there but I couldn't find it no matter how hard I tried. I decided I may have dropped it somewhere, so I took a pair of extra reader glasses and began searching frantically around the bathroom for it. Nothing. I then washed my hands and began the painful sweeping the cornea/iris process all over again. After several minutes and several tears I decided to give up. It was then that I felt it!! The lost contact was balled up in the corner of my eye and I was able to pull it gently from my eye!!
I swear I shed a tear of relief that I had just successfully retrieved my $$ contact. I then cleaned it off with the disinfecting solution and you know what I did?
You bet I inserted it back into my eye where it peacefully resides right now.
The good truly outweighs the bad with my contacts. I like going through life with a nice clear view.
Monday, May 11, 2015
It was announced today that the next season of American Idol, the 15th season, will be it's last. It is the end of an American institution, to be sure, but I think we can all agree it is time to put this one out of its misery. First debuted on Fox in June 2002, American Idol created a sensation from the moment the first episode aired.
American Idol once was a national obsession. Years ago, myself and several other bloggers would write re-caps and enjoy handicapping every minute of the Cinderella story played out in real time. I used to LOVE to watch Idol every week and root for my favorite talent to win. It was a family affair, as we would all gather together to enjoy the excitement of Idol. It was magic, watching everyday people become singing sensations each week. Thorough it's tenure, Idol has produced two bonafide recording stars; Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Then a string of 11 almost stars, some more forgettable than others. American Idol introduced us to Simon Cowell, the celebrity judge we all love to fear. If Simon said something, one was hardpressed to forget it and his advice helped launch the careers of many aspiring stars.
The judges, they became like family. A cuckoo, crazy family with a stern father (Simon), a beautiful but dizzy mother (Paula), a groovy big brother (Randy), and the voice of reason. (Ryan) Then they got too famous...the judges almost became the focus more than the talent. There was fighting within producing staff...it was documented that the franchises marquee talent-Simon Cowell- wasn't happy and was looking elsewhere. Then Paula left and then Simon left and no matter who they replaced them with Idol was never the same without Simon.
Is that when Idol jumped the shark?
Possibly, but my guess is it jumped the shark some where in between Season 4 and Season 8. Too many talented folks elimated early-conspiracy theories abound-and America's favorite show never quite rebounded. The hand writing was on the wall, yet it soldiered on, banking on America's belief in the dream. They bled that franchise for every dollar it was worth and they weren't smart enough to stop the bleeding. They hired new celebrity judges-big names with big followings-they changed the format countless times, yet Idol never delivered the goods after Season 4. They never delivered another true American Idol.
In the end, we enjoyed it for what it was worth-but nobody like a guest who overstayed their welcome.
Bye bye American Idol. Your time has come.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
According to the just released Wells report, we now know it's, "more probable than not" that New England Patriots personnel have been implicated in the intentional defalating of the Patriots game day footballs in the 2014/2015 AFC Championship game. And the kicker? According to Wells,
"It's more probable than not that Tom Brady was at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities."
Text messages between two Patriots employees; a locker room attendant and an equipment assistant, that were illegally obtained in a cooperative investigation with the Patriots and the NFL, are the proverbial smoking gun? But make no mistake, nothing is smoking here; the guys gave the NFL their text messages. They cooperated. Period.
Does it sound like they deflated balls? According to the text messages released by the Wells report, we are led to believe that they deflated balls, but it's all hearsay according to the law. Who knows whom or what they are specifically referring to in those messages. It's implied otherwise but nothing conclusive.
The NFL and Wells have had this information since BEFORE the Super Bowl which was played on Feb 1 of this year and it took them 13 weeks to decipher a whole lot of nothing else? It's bulls*it and a great big waste of time.
And I don't care.
I'm over it. It does nothing but add fuel to the haters fire and as the old saying goes, "haters gonna hate." Do I personally think the balls were deflated to Brady's liking. It's highly probable. But I also think that lots of quarterbacks do it across the league and I don't think it was ever an issue before Tom Brady uttered the famous words in a post game press conference referring to Baltimore Ravens Head Coach, John Harbaugh, "maybe those guys need to study the rule book and figure it out." I think that's where this all began and I think a few guys conspired to get Tommy in trouble for something that is a common, well known in the NFL.
In fact, I don't think the NFL actually had a protocol for this specific issue because I don't think it was ever an issue until Tommy allegedly made Harbaugh look like a boob in front of the world. That's just my theory. Either way- it doesn't change my view of the greatest quarterback of all time nor the greatest team. In fact, I'd like to think of it as what I heard was this morning from GMA's Legal Analyst Dan Abrams. He said this report is all hearsay and circumstantial and that the evidence would never stand up in court. It's not a criminal case, but if it was he said, "Fixing a game would equate to a Murder in the 1st charge. Spy Gate could be seen as manslaughter, but this?" Abrams said, "This is assault and battery at best."
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
- About the whole Bruce Jenner thing....I think he's finally being true to himself and possibly trying to use his celebrity to do some good. Great for him, but right now I can't help feeling bad for Kris Jenner. I know what you're thinking...she's a money monger who will do anything-including treating her husband like a dog on a TV camera for ratings-but I gotta think this whole "I'm really a woman" thing sorta rocked her calculated world. Sources say she knew from the beginning of their relationship, but he certainly put on a good show for many years. They had two children of their own and raised six kids together. 23 years is a heck of a long time to put on a show. I get it when she says "I have these memories of this life, and I feel sometimes like it doesn't exist." All I can say is I get it. When someone you think you know turns out to be someone you don't know at all, it literally shakes your entire foundation. I think the media has been unfair to her. What's she supposed to say, besides voicing her support?
- About A Rod hitting his 660 th career home run tying Willie Mays at Fenway Park a few days ago. It came amid boos-and virtually no fanfare. Not even a mention of the milestone on the outfield board-a screen notorious for broadcasting even the slightest minutia during a game. The Yankees have stated that they will NOT pay the contractual $6 million dollar bonus they agreed to when he reached this milestone before he was suspended for drugs. Is it fair? Is it right? Facts are what they are...Rodriguez tested positive for performance enhancing drugs a year ago and was suspended for the entirety of last season, leaving an asterisk on his name in the record books forever. This one may get ugly, as the players union says it will step in on behalf of ARod, but I think the Yankees have the upper hand here. ARod did the crime, now he's gotta do the time. ARod*
- About how I have been sick almost the entire month of April. I got one horrid cold right on top of another horrid cold. I'm thinking WTF? Then it dawns on me. Allergies? Yes, it very well could be allergies. I've never been bothered by allergies before but I'm thinking this is quite possibly the culprit. Allergies + stress = horrible combination.
- About how my favorite TV series, "Nurse Jackie" is back! Edie Falco is such a great actor, and the entire cast is phenomenal. This is Season 7 and I have yet to miss one episode!! Jackie has let her drug use ruin most of her life, but the things that she does to stay relevant are horrible and dangerous, yet I can't stop watching this whole ride! With the beauty of On Demand, you can catch up with ever crazy, depraved thing that Jackie has done. I highly recommend it.
- About how Spring has finally arrived! When I see that groundhog...I'm gonna ring his neck!