Showing posts with label Blonde Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blonde Jokes. Show all posts

Friday, April 3, 2015

It's A Really Good Friday



Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"? 

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter. 

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." 

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven. 

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"? The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third blonde continued... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/easterjokes/threeblondesjoke.html

Happy Easter Bloggers! Here's to spring!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Dumb Blonde Friday



A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. 

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. 

Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''


Happy Friday bloggers. Have a great weekend and please don't let the kids play with anything dangerous. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Funny Cup O' Joe




A blonde goes to her doctor and says that every time she drinks a coffee her eye hurts. 

The doctor prepared her a hot, fresh cup of coffee to see what really happens. She took a sip of the coffee and screamed, "Ouch, that hurts!" The doctor said, "I know your problem." 

The blonde asked, "Is it bad, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, you just need to take your spoon out of your cup before you drink your coffee."

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Happiest Place On Friday



During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:


MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she replied "It had to be at least 8 characters long."

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Blondie P.I.


A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions: 

Officer: What's 2 + 2? 
Blonde: Ummm... 4! 
Officer: What's the square root of 100? 
Blonde: Ummm... 10! 
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? 
Blonde: Ummm... I dunno. 
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. 


The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. 
The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"




http://www.jokesoftheday.net/

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Dumb Blonde?



Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. 

She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" 

As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. 

Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching."

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/blonde-jokes/9

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Working Girl





A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."


 The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"