Marketing Strategies

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.  Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.

By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards.  The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" 

"But why?" asked Mike.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/valentine/valentine_jokes.htm

A Very Merry Christmas From Candy's Daily Dandy

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through The Dandy,

Every creature was stirring,  not least of all Candy. 

The stockings were hung and the fake tree was trimmed, while the Christmas bling sparkled from each perfect little limb.

The Children weren't nestled, nor snug, nor in bed,

They were laughing and drinking and making merry instead!

Frick and Frack were adults, now living on their own while Candy and Her Guy kept the fires burning at home. With the college kids away for most of the year, the empty nesters adjusted but held the holidays dear. A full house was a joy to behold for a time. Is that so much to ask, or would the kids consider it a crime?

And Candy dressed in Gucci and her Guy  in Tom Ford,  while Frick regaled them  with stories from her time spent abroad. The crest on the sparkle of the new life they lead gave way to their happiness, no more worry or dread. Frack was so pleased living life in the South, and he told them of college adventures from his very own mouth! 

When out on the lawn Buddy was causing a clatter, Candy rose from her Manolo's to see what was the matter. Since Buddy was the lone dog left in the house, he was running and chasing things much bigger than a mouse. A deer? A turkey? A bird or a raccoon? Surely that dog was as crazy as a loon!

While the celebration went on, fun and joy was abound so Candy decided to reflect during some quiet time she had found. Another year, she thought,  she felt blessed and at peace,  such love to be part of, she hoped never would it cease. Content in this thought, Candy wondered what would her Christmas wish be, when she realized that really, she had everything she would ever need. 

So she wished for others the same joy that she felt, and she was grateful for another year under her belt. And I heard her exclaim to every person to hear,

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy New Year!"

A Very Happy Thanksgiving To You And Yours.

A Daily Dandy shout out to all my peeps for a healthy and happy Thanksgiving holiday! 

Eat too much turkey, enjoy your day, laugh with the family and enjoy these very funny people's thoughts on our uniquely American tradition! Today's content is courtesy of Huff Post Comedy.

To The Men And Women Who Serve Our Country

Happy Halloweenie!

Happy Friday bloggers! Today is not just Friday, it's HALLOWEEN!! We were discussing last night how Halloween is a really huge deal if you are between the ages of 5-12. It's probably the second most anticipated day of the year for a kid.

Proof that some of us never really grow up, here are some hilarious examples of halloween creativity at it's finest!

Couple o' boobs, these two. The one on the right is kinda pretty? No?

This is great! But the toilet dude? He's going to get a serious quad workout tonite. And the other guy?
He's going to catch a serious cold tonite?

Stop it....that is the cutest/funniest thing I have ever seen..

Gross...just gross, but the further I look at it the more I think its genius. Yeah, gross, but genius.

Bwahahahahah! Really? Bwahahahaha!

I gotta give the guy props for creativity. I love it! It may not work so well with the ladies though. It's like he's putting the cart before the horse. You know what I mean?

Now this guy? He's got it all figured out. If he finds any takers he's gonna have a good time tonite. 

AND THE BEST FOR LAST:

I'm sorry, but I LOLed so hard when I saw this. This is so wrong on so many levels but you gotta love it when someone laughs right in the face of life. Imagine the two of them looking at this photo 20 years from now! I just think this is hilariously wrong, but hilarious nonetheless. 

Happy Halloween bloggers! Have a safe and happy evening and take a moment to appreciate this all Hallows Eve, a unique American tradition. 

Happy 4th of July

Have a safe and happy holiday, Bloggers!
And be sure to have one for America!

It's A Good Friday

'

Hey bloggers! This is the end of a crazy, busy week and the start of the Easter holiday weekend.

I searched the interwebs for the best Easter humor I could muster up and I found some great ones! Consider this my little bag of Easter jelly beans to you!!!!

Happy weekend peeps! Have an EGGScelent holiday........

My Three Sons

While I was on vacation in Puerto Rico last week, (which was FAB-u-lous) I found myself at a New Years Eve celebration in the hotel with lots of happy families, happy people and music. I spyed a group of kids sitting on a sofa together. They were adorable. There were two boys age 14 and 13, two little girls-11 and 10 along with their baby brother who was 4- and was sleeping soundly on the sofa. Being a helicopter mom myself, I continued to watch the kids through the celebration right through the magic time that 2013 had turned into 2014. The girls were dancing and playing with noise makers, giggling and enjoying a festive evening being included in the adult activities. The boys stayed put, almost watching guard over their baby brother who was sleeping right through the party that was taking place around them.

I couldn't help myself.

I sat down next to the group at the sofa and began chatting with them. Affable, intelligent and way off the cutie chart, the kids and I enjoyed the normal conversation exchanges. "Where are you from? How old are you? etc." We were having a great time talking, as each one enjoyed their moment in the spotlight, explaining who they were and their ages. Their step-dad had gone to UMass, they told me and they stated that a trip to Boston is something they would like to do someday. The conversation then naturally turned to school. The boy to my left, Gabrielle, explained that they were from a town in Puerto Rico about an hour away but were there at the hotel for the week enjoying a family vacation. I asked them when they were returning to school, to which they replied "Jan 13th". "Why so late?", I inquired. Frack was slated to go back on Jan 3rd. They explained that the return was normal; it was in observance of Three King's Day.

I had never heard of this.

I had heard of people leaving their Christmas trees up until Jan 6th, because of "little Christmas" as they called it, but I never understood that this little Christmas they spoke of was the one my new friends were explaining to me. They kids told me it was just as big as Christmas to them and that the three Kings brought them just as many presents as Santa. "The Feast of the Epiphany", or "Three Kings Day" falls on January 6th and marks the biblical visit of the three wise men or The Magi, to the baby Jesus. It is the anticipation of this day by children mainly in Latin America and Spain that my new little friends spoke of.

 "According to the Gospel of Matthew, the men found the divine child by following the North Star across the desert for twelve days to Bethlehem. Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar -- representing Europe, Arabia, and Africa respectively -- travelled by horse, camel, and elephant in order to present baby Jesus with three symbolic gifts."

Anyone who has ever been to my house, my mom's house or anyone in my immediate family's home, would find displays of the Magi (the three wise men)  all over the house. And not just at Christmas. My mother was given a prayer by a priest when she was a little girl in homage to the Three Kings. It is to be said three times and is described as a very effective prayer. My mom believes, and always has, that the three Kings are the bearers of good fortune. My brothers and sisters and I all posses this prayer and many displays of the Magi in our surroundings. How could I have not known about Three Kings Day??

Today when I woke up, I thought about the kids I had shared that enjoyable conversation with in the early hours of 2014. I though about them putting grass and water out for the wise men's camels in anticipation of their arrival and I thought about them enjoying a wonderful day with their family. I don't think those adorable kids had any idea of the impression they left on me, but I carried it with me right through to today.

Happy Three King's day to them and all of you! I hope that the Magi continues to bring all of us good fortune all the year through!

Plating Pretty

This week it's all about food...

So I'm watching Sunday Morning on CBS on Sunday and it was all about food. Food is love, where I come from, and the Sunday morning program served to solidify that fact. There was an interesting piece about a new staple in American restaurants called "plating".

Remember when your food was presented to you in a way that served the important food groups? A protein, a starch, a vegatable and so forth. All compartmentalized, like the paper plates with the sections spaced out, your food was placed on the plate side by side. Today, with the popularity of cooking shows and reality cooking competitions, that has changed. "Plating" the food has become the norm and even some chain restaurants are getting into the phenomenon. Plating, or food styling, is a way to present the food in the most artistic and appetizing way possible, like wrapping a present, the presentation is just as important. We are learning from the pros, by following food shows and competitions, and designing our plates to be things of beauty.

Food bloggers take pics of the foods presented to them on their blogs and social media sites are all abuzz with the pretty and pleasing presentations of food on a plate. The garnish, tying the plate together to make it a work of art.And they may be on to something.

Take a simple turkey dinner; instead of loading the food on in different sections, the food is sometimes presented from the inside of the plate out. All of your mom's favorites, piled expertly and beautifully with the gravy drizzled over it like the garland on a Christmas tree, the gourmet way is now the trend in our food obsessed culture. 

So on Thursday, don't lop a bunch of your favorites on the plate with no rhyme or reason, instead think of your plate as your own personal masterpiece. You may have more than a few people at the table who will ask you for a bite from your own "plating" Picasso.

Good Dad's Are Always Sexy

Daily Dandy best wishes for a very happy Father's Day to all the good dad's out there!

Nothing is sexier than a man who is a good dad. It doesn't take blood relations to make someone a good dad either. It takes commitment, love, time and whole lot of patience and if you are really lucky, longevity.
Dad's are not only an important role model for their children but their loving guidance is instrumental in building the moral fiber of the future of our children.

Dad's are in large and in charge! With moms permission, of course..

Happy, happy Father's Day to all you sexy dads!!
We salute you!

Summer Kick Off!

Can you believe it?
Summer is here! This is the summer kick off weekend and I think we are all ready to rock and roll.

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone, and please take a moment to remember the ones who fought so hard to make this country a great and free one. For the record, Monday is NOT National BBQ day. Instead it's an observance of the sacrifices the brave and strong made to ensure we will continue to be the home of the free.

But don't get me wrong, bloggers. Please enjoy your weekend BBQ's, just take a moment to remember. Peace! See you on the flip side.

Happy Holiday

Today is holiday in Massachusetts! It's Patriots day and it's a nice little break for us in early spring.

Patriots Day is a civic holiday that commemorates the anniversary of the first battles of the Revolutionary war; the Battles of Lexington and Concord. It is alway on the third Monday of April and the battles are re- enacted in both Lexington, MA, at the Lexington Green, and Concord, MA at the Old North Bridge. Hundreds of Militia groups gather to enjoy the re-enactment of the battles and play war games.

It's also the 117th running of the Boston Marathon, or "Marathon Monday". The 26.2 mile marathon which begins at 9: 35 AM and goes in waves till the last group runs off about 10:40 AM. For me? It's a forced holiday. The famous marathon runs right in front of The Candy Bar  in Wellesley, and closes things down in the town for most of the day. The streets surrounding Wellesley are blocked and there is only foot traffic allowed. It's not a great retail environment, so we all shut down for the day. The weather is not cooperating either. The chilly 43 degree weather will keep the spectators to a minimum.

A traditional Red Sox/Tampa Bay matinee at Fenway rounds out the Patriot's Day events  making us a bustling HUB of activity. I am going to make the most of a rare Monday off and do a few things I never get to do, like cook and clean and go to the supermarket. (seriously, I really just said that)

Happy Monday Bloggers!
I hope yours is a good one too.

A Very Good Friday

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

" I feel terrible,"! He explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." 

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..........."Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

Black Friday Boob

Did you hear the story about this guy?

I thought I'd heard it all, but this one really hit home. Trouble here is, I can't quite figure out who is the bigger boob. Him, for leaving his girlfriend's two year old toddler in his car at 1:30 am while he went into KMart score a 51 inch TV on Black Friday, or us for buying into all of this Black Friday madness.

No doubt, Anthony Perry is a boob to the highest degree. He claims he will live with the guilt for the rest of his life which I find interesting considering he reportedly fled the scene after purchasing the TV and saw the police cruisers and ambulance outside his car. (authorities later found him at home with his TV) But aren't we, society and the consumer public boobs too?

We buy into all this Black Friday madness and create this climate by simply engaging in shopping at midnight on Thanksgiving. Hey, I'm not saying I'm any better. As a retailer myself, I knew I had to make some sort of Black Friday offering to my customers or "live with the guilt for the rest of my life". Business is business and retailers need to stay competitive. I get that. I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't want my own Black Friday offering to create a stampede in my store. But do we/I have to create a dangerous frenzy while engaging our customers in some rewarding retail therapy?

I think not.

Look, there will always be a few bad apples that spoil it for the rest of us. This is a fact. But let's try to keep the sanctity of Thanksgiving by letting Black Friday be Black Friday. On Black Friday. Not Small business Saturday or Cyber Monday. Or whatever the emails I kept getting the week before announcing Black Friday deals the week before Black Friday. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I guess we are all boobs and like I always say:
Boobs are just like drinks:
One is not enough and three is too many.

Gobble Gobble...

I can't believe it's here already.

How did that happen??  I'm glad, because I love the holidays. I guess I've been too busy to notice that they were creeping up on me. Despite it all I am cooking a turkey just for Frick, Frack and My Guy this year which should be a welcome change. My little nuclear unit.

This year I'm Thanking for all the Giving and I'm going give back and not ask for Thanks.

I wish many blessings to you and yours and I thank you for coming here and joining in the discussion.


Happy Thanksgiving Bloggers, and make sure your belt buckle has a few extra holes in it...

How The Hell Did That Happen?

Really? It's already over?

The summer flew by and I hardly realized it was over. A waitress at a restaurant last night said to me when I ordered scrod, "Oh cmon, you can do better than that. It's the last weekend of the summer." Then it hit me. It's Labor Day Weekend already? I guess I have been so focused on Frick going to college and Frack's golf that I didn't even give it a thought.

I didn't really do much this summer, but I stayed close to home; close to the heart.  I'm over the BBQ thing and I'm not feeling a melancholy sense of dread like I usually do at this time. I'm actually looking forward to fall. I've got some great things coming my way.


 Highlights:

• I'm going up to Maine to attend a birthday party for a dog. Yes, a birthday party for a dog, a great excuse to have a party. It should be a good time. 
• Frack got his braces off on Wednesday and damn! if my baby boy isn't drop dead handsome! I keep asking him to see his smile, and it's driving him crazy. Too bad, is my response. I paid for them, so I wanna see them. Kid's got a killer smile, and I keep telling him his face is so much brighter! That's the best adjective I can use to describe it. We told him to get a stick, cuz he's gonna be beating the chicks off with it when he goes back to school. He's also playing light's out golf right now. Kid's a stud.
• Frick is LOVING college and surprisingly, she calls pretty regularly. I'm so proud of her, she is fulfilling her dreams right now and becoming the person she will be for the rest of her life. I miss her like crazy, but I am so excited for her and happy that she is enjoying this wonderful time in her life. I wanna go to college. 

Peace to you and yours for a safe and happy Labor Day. 

The Long And Winding Weekend

Hey Bloggers! It's Friday and that means its the start to the long Memorial Day weekend!

This being the unofficial start to summer and all, I'm sure burgers and dogs will be on the menu at some point for everybody in the next few days. It's also the official start of the wearing of the white!!! White shoes and bags will make their  summer debut this weekend and flip flops become the hottest accessory. The forecast is looking good and with the flowers just beginning to bloom, we are ready to welcome in the warm weather.

Have a great one, bloggers and I will see you back here on Tuesday, May 29. And while you are at one of those summer kickoff BBQ's take a moment to remember all of those who fought to give us that freedom.

Happy Memorial Day.

NSFW Easter Wishes

Happy Easter Bloggers!

So I was searching the Internet this morning looking for a dirty little Easter ditty to share with you, and I gotta tell you, it wasn't easy.

But in my searches, I think I found something that won't disappoint.

This gem came up under dirty Easter jokes, and God bless Aunt Anna, she's so cute, she even cracks herself up!! This one is entitled, "Aunt Anna's Dirty Jokes-Easter Italian Style" and she's just my kind of girl! Stay with it for the entire 2:25, as Anna shares two jokes with her family.

Happy Easter to you and yours from Candy's Daily Dandy Bloggers, and may you enjoy the holiday making your loved ones smile.

Happy 2012

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.



http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/christmas/new_year.htm

Talking Turkey

Ahhh, Thanksgiving.

It's that wonderful American tradition that is still held some what sacred. It's the only holiday that is completely, 100%, all about the food. Thanksgiving is a great feast.

Some observations:

• Stuffing seems to be the emotional favorite, second only to the turkey itself.


• There are those who prefer to eat out and those who prefer to stay home. I prefer to stay home.


• Cranberry sauce is in two categories: homemade and jelly. I always have to serve both because some like it jelly style, straight out of a can, and some will only eat the homemade kind with whole cranberries.


• Apple Cider. It's the only time I drink it and it is always a staple on my thanksgiving table.


• There's always one who's not speaking to so and so, and you have to be careful not to seat them next to each other or get in the middle of it for that matter.


• Thanksgiving is also synonymous with football.


• Is it legal to begin drinking on Thanksgiving day at 12 noon? It is a holiday after all.


• It's hilarious, it seems like the entire town I live in closes up shop around 3pm on Wednesday. People are either traveling or cooking, but no one is out and about after that.


• Is it legal to begin drinking wine on Thanksgiving morning at 10 am? It is a holiday after all. And I'm gonna need it to get through this one.

What are your observations bloggers?