WTF Friday?

  

It's Friday bloggers and I'm feeling sort of funky...

Like this lady at Wally World here. WTF is that? Really? Girlfriend, I gotta tell you that those flesh colored yoga pants are doing you no justice. A darker solid would be much more conducive to your figure and actually be slimming. Poor thing. She probably has no idea what this get up looks like from behind. I call that "naked nonsense".

Happy Friday bloggers and seriously? Try to consider what you look like both coming and going this weekend. 

Holding On For Dear Life

Girlfriend got a tight grip goin for safety.

The Great Underwear Debate

Ok, so I vowed I wasn't going to get in to this on The Daily Dandy, but I gave up swearing for lent, not lying. HA! So here goes. This is one that had us all talking.

Yesterday I'm watching GMA and this story comes on about a mom and her 9 yr old daughter, who she took to Victoria Secret to buy underwear.  Now, there are a few details I need to report before you can form your opinion and respond.

• She took her to Pink, which is a subsidiary of Victoria Secret that is marketed to college age girls and is still in the same store as Victoria Secret, but has it's own space. Pink's designs are bright, bold, lacy racy and eye catching. As you can see some, not all designs have sayings that could be considered inappropriate for a nine year old. 
• The mother claims there is "nothing wrong with it". She says "No child wants to be the one in the locker room with the ugly underwear."
• The child claims it's time to leave the "Gymboree" behind and "move on to the next level. 
• The mom says she draws the line at lace. "There's a hard line between pretty and sexy and it's hard when we're talking about underwear to know where that difference is."

Here's the story:

And the GMA link:

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/mom-says-victorias-secret-okay-tween-132303210--abc-news-parenting.html

Tell me what you think! I'm dying to hear.
Oh, and there's one more thing.

Did I mention that the mom is a blogger?

Speechless

Did Bama Get A Job In Advertising?

I was just minding my own business this morning.

I was working out on my elliptical, like I do almost every morning watching Good Morning America. (Katie Couric was guest hosing because Robin Roberts is on vacation. I hope they don't replace Robin, because I'm a huge Robin Roberts fan...)

Anyway, like I said, I was just minding my own business and this commercial came on. I could hardly believe it. You know the old saying that sex sells? Well holy Liquid Plumber! I might have even got a little hot and bothered, had I not been so surprised that this commercial was airing on morning TV. Imagine all the desperately dirty housewives out there in America after catching this PORNY ad? The househusbands of America could be rejoicing!!

For sure, it's got moxie. Judge for yourself:

Five Hundred Twenty-five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

"Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes,

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Moments so dear.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?"

If you're Kim Kardashian you don't measure it in love, you measure it in money. It only lasted 72 days. 72 days was too long for Kimmy to be out of the spotlight so she created another bombshell to drop on the world. No biggie,. cuz life goes on in the Kardashian clan like nothing ever happened. Onto the next big thing.

"In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights

In cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure

A year in the life?"

A loaf of bread lasts longer in my freezer than their marriage lasted. I have mold in my refrigerator older than 72 days, (not really, but you get my point) and it takes far more than 10 weeks/72 days to shoot an entire season of "Keeping up with the Kardashians". That, being the same "brand" they fought so diligently to protect. Now the experts are predicting that the public will feel "duped" by the sham that was their "over the top", lavish $10 million dollar wedding.

Sources have reported that between the wedding, the ring, and the deal with People Magazine and Us Weekly for the photos, Kimmy pocketed over $18 million for the entire scam. A mere $250,000.00 per day of their doomed union. Not a bad gig.

How about love? How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love Seasons of love.

Kim's not letting a minor divorce keep her down. She is already back to business hosting parties in NYC, going to Australia to launch her new handbag line then landing in Atlanta for her first major acting gig in Tyler Perry's appropriately titled move, "The Marriage Councelor". For Kim Kardashian every season is a season of loving herself.

And who said she is unlucky in love?

What A Twat

So I got a Twitter virus yesterday from Knucklehead. I'm sure it's not his fault, but who knew you could get a virus from Twitter?

Now I gotta worry about Tweeting viruses?? Cut it out.

It was all very cunning too. I got a notification the other day saying that my blogger buddy, Knucklehead, had tweeted some "bad stuff about you" here (web address). So, since it was the week of Jet/Pats, I'm thinking Knucklehead, a bleedin, stinking Jets sympathiser, was trash talkin My Tommy and the boys. I clicked onto it but couldn't open it, so I just left it and went on about my business.

Yesterday, I was reading some emails and I saw the notification again and I decided it was time to find out what this was all about. When I clicked the link on my computer, I saw a warning that said it could be from an "unprotected source". Since it was from someone I knew, I ignored the warning and clicked the link.

Big mistake. I still couldn't open it and it gave me some bullsh*t about how Twitter was having some issues. I, again, left the site and again went about my business. About five minutes later, my iphone started to blow up. Ping after ping of text notifications kept coming and wouldn't you know I was working with a client at the time.
"Is that your phone?" my client asked.
"Yes, it is. Excuse me for a second," I said, thinking it was one of my kids with something urgent.

It was my nephew, my other nephew, Zibsy, and a whole cadre of my Twitter followers, (I don't have very many), asking me to re-send the Tweet or asking if I had a virus. Then poor Sybil left a comment here that my Twitter account was sending her crap all day too. I spread a deadly virus unknowingly. It was news to me but evidently not to them as my nephews knew right away it was a virus hacking into my account.

MY NEPHEW: Did you mean to send me the Twitter message bout a bad blog about me or is it a virus.

CANDY: Ooooh, bad twitter virus

MY NEPHEW: That's a good one a lot of people will be dumb enough to click that lol

Ha ha, yeah, I was one of them DUMB people.

Later, I was able to log onto to Twitter and Tweet that I had a virus and that I was so sorry. Again, Who knew? Not me. I hardly use my Twitter as it's mainly for The Candy Bar.

Bottom line, I'm super sorry I'm a SUCKER and I hacked your accounts, unknowingly.

I'm sure Knucklehead's sorry too.

Check This Sh*t Out..

Hey, I am all for love.

Dang, I am probably one of the most mushy, push overs when it comes to being in love and being around love. I also know when I'm being hoodwinked, and something ain't right here.

Meet Doug Hutchison and his 17 year old bride, Courtney Stodden. Yes, that girl just turned 17, and she was 16 when they met and married this past May. Doug, a Hollywood actor, is best known for his role as a creepy and twisted prison guard in The Green Mile. The two met when Doug agreed to give Courtney some acting lessons. It was then they say, that they fell in love. With Courtney's parents giving her their blessing and their parental consent, the two were able to marry legally. She says she found her soul mate and he says he was attracted to her mind. Cmon now.....

The truth? I can't say for sure but their upcoming reality show says a lot about their love. The Internets are all abuzz with Courtney's Tweets, so sexy and salacious, that I'm thinking this girl lives on Ecstasy 24-7.

Please, have at this little GMA interview then let's discuss this in the comments.

Buy Me Some Peanuts And An $80 Hot Dog

No kidding. This is what an $80 hot dog looks like.

The Brockton Rox, a Massachusetts based Can-Am league baseball team, broke the Guinness Book World Record on Saturday when they unveiled and sold this $80 dollar hot dog at their ball park. Holy heartburn.

The "K-O Dog", named for the Rox mascot, is a foot long, half pound of beef, smothered in truffle oil, rolled in prochini mushroom dust, sprinkled with white truffle shavings, then topped with creme fraiche, caviar and roe. I bet that $6.00 dog at Fenway isn't looking too ridiculous now, is it?

The promotion is the brain child of Rox executive chef Ben Glanz and the Brockton Rox are attempting to put their team on the map with the record breaking offering. The previous record for the most expensive hot dog was held by Serendipity 3 in New York that sold a hot dog at $69.00.

The team, which may now be known for selling the most expensive hot dog in the world, has another claim to fame. Their minor league players, a group of virtual unknowns, are managed by one of baseball's most infamous. Former Red Sox first baseman, Bill Buckner, who will forever be known as "the ball through he legs guy", is the Rox manager.

Let's hope they have better luck selling the pricey dog and winning games than Buckner had in 1986.

That Dastardly Cellulite

I'm talking smack today about cellulite because quite frankly, it sucks. That photo above is of the lovely Eva Longoria, and yes ladies, even Eva has cellulite. And with the summer upon us, we want to get our groove on and show some sexy skin, but that dastardly cellulite always foils the plan. It seems to me there is an epidemic of dimply, lumpy thighs and butts out there and no matter how you eat or how you exercise, the cellulite creeps up on you and gets a hold of your body.

So what the hell is this stuff and how do we deal with it? The first thing to know is that we all have it, even super fit and slim celebs. The degrees are varying and believe it or not, it's not always about fat. It's true that cellulite is fat deposits that cause dimpling on the skin, especially evident in the hips and buttocks area, but it has more to do with the cellular structure of the skin. According to about.com, " It is the structure of the overlying skin and of the underlying connective tissue that determines whether a given area has a smooth or rippled appearance."

Well, isn't that just great? It's a genetic thing.

Ok, so I'll admit that when I google celebrity cellulite all these pics come up with celebs like this, and this, it makes me feel better knowing that these women have cellulite too. I would have showed them here, but you really need to see a BIG picture to get the full effect of the cellulite. Yes, celebrities are human too.

Some days I feel like I work so hard and eat right and yet, I still can't seem to rid my body of cellulite and other days I decide I'm gonna eat that pizza and embrace my dimples and I just say screw it! It is what it is but one thing's for sure, we all have it somewhere. So in the sinking lifeboat that is cellulite, even Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson are right there, going down with us.

So remember that the next time you look at someone and think they are perfect. Somewhere, photo shopped out or hidden by some good lighting, is that dastardly cellulite. Of that we can be certain.

How Bad Does It Have To Get?

You're never gonna believe this one.

This woman, Catherine Kieu Becker, chopped off her husband's pecker.

Really. She did. Then, she threw it in the garbage disposal and turned it on. Evidently, she poisoned her husband's dinner with some sort of hallucinogen that would make him drowsy. Police reports allege that she then tied him to the bed and chopped off his penis, put it in the kitchen garbage disposal and turned it on. She told police, "he deserved it".

Now I gotta ask you, how bad do things have to get for someone to do this? The couple were reportedly going through a divorce. I know a thing or two about divorce and when I was going through it, the last thing I wanted to do was see his face much less make him dinner. Would I have liked to cut off his penis? Maybe, but the thought of getting rid of him for good made much more sense to me.

You can read about it here and wonder just like I did, what this woman was thinking. The only one she's screwed is herself. According to the Associated Press she has been charged with "aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse." One of these charges carries a life sentence.

Was it really worth it? No one knows for sure what goes on behind closed doors but to give in to hate and anger like that only destroys both lives.

It may or may not be that simple, but I say just get out and save yourself.

Freaky Friday

Hey bloggers! It's a Friday freak fest over here at The Dandy and who better to showcase than our favorite freaks!

Today's freaks are extra freaky, if you ask me.

Now, I have to ask you...do you think she knows her shorts are falling down? Cmon..I think this look screams, "look at meeee!!!"

I gotta give him style points here. Grey and pink are a perfect color pairing. The boy's got a fabulous flair for fashion.

Speaking of fashion flair, this boy is in danger of loosing those pants...are you kidding me? I wanna know how the hell he walks around like that.

OOOhhh baby, nothing like getting it on in full view of the Walmart public. Oh yeah, and his manly physique surely will make her envy of the neighborhood.

And is it me or is there something in the air? People seem to be getting a little somethin' somethin' everywhere. Hey, free lovin never hurt no one....

Unless of course the kiddies are looking, then they probably want to know why he's got his hands down her pants...

Sister has her cheeky issues, for sure, but my problem here is not her jiggly cheeks, but her HORRID shoes. The girl needs to buy a fashion magazine on her way out.

And I always save the best for last...

Look very closely, but don't stare too long it may hurt your eyes permanently. Is sister wearing pants? Stretch pants? Is she naked? I can't tell.

The world may never know the answer to that one.

Have a great weekend bloggers!

Stick A Fork In Him

So I just don't get this.

Chris Brown, who pleaded guilty in 2009 to assaulting then girlfriend Rhianna, apparently had a major melt down in his dressing room at the New York studios of Good Morning America yesterday. Brown, who spent the last two years apologizing and keeping out of trouble since he took a huge hit (no pun intended) in his career from the fallout of the Rhianna incident, was on the morning show to promote his new album.

GMA anchor Robin Roberts asked him about whether or not he has moved on from the incident with Rhianna, and Brown, clearly bothered by this, spent the next two minutes trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Rhianna and onto his new album. After his GMA performance, Brown then stormed his dressing room and trashed it. He then threw a chair into a window smashing glass onto the streets of Times Square below, ripped off his shirt and was photographed leaving the GMA set in a fury.

Do you think this kid has a serious anger management problem? Word has it that Brown was aware that he would be questioned about the infamous 2009 incident, yet he couldn't control his rage and successfully erased all the work he had done in the past two years rehabbing his image. For what? Because a TV journalist pissed him off? Hey, we all get pissed off, but we go home and throw chairs through windows, not in the headquarters of the powers that be. No amount of remorse can erase this one. So what if he patiently signed autographs for fans hours later on the streets of New York. The kid successfully put the word PROBLEM between his first and last name.

What the hell? Just when it was safe to come out from the shadows and eat some proverbial crow saying he was sorry for his behavior, he revealed to the masses who he really is. First time shame on me. Second time, shame on you.

Shame on you Chris Brown. Dude, seriously? You just blew it, again. Looks like you're just a punk with an anger management problem and not much else. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this one. I think you have successfully stuck the fork in yourself, cuz dude, you're all done.

What Did We DO To Deserve This?

I'm in the "Buy Lots Of Booze" part of the map...

Today's Special: Kiddie Crows Feet

Walmart, besides being home to my favorite crayzee's, will launch a new line of cosmetics for the Tween set, girls aged 8-12 called GeoGirl.

Cute? Yes. Crazy? Maybe.

People like me, proprietors of cosmetic products, should be squealing with delight at the prospect of this little gem aimed at tweens, as it makes future cosmetic buyers in training. This equates to future loyal cosmetic customers. All good right?

But something about this seems wrong. Maybe it's what's offered in the line of products that has me in a tizzie. The line boasts to using all natural ingredients like chamomile, lavender and white willow bark to exfoliate and antioxidants. (which fight free radicals-pollutants found in the air) This all seems a little mature, wouldn't you say?

A cleanser? I'm all for that. Learning to take proper care of you skin is a valuable thing and anything that helps young girls start properly cleansing their skin I'm endorsing, but a "mineral blush, liquid2power shadow, feather-lash mascara and a face shimmer". A face shimmer? Why does an eight year old's face need to shimmer? And a feather mascara? What's next? Diamond encrusted false eyelashes? And for the soccer set, matching team color blushes and lip sticks?

Listen, I realize that little girls will always want to experiment with make-up like thier moms, but I'm thinking that that's where it should stay. We run the risk here of sending a message to these girls that they would look better with feather lush lashes, than without.

I think skin care is fine, but when you start training at 8 them to wear mascara, bronzer and eye shadow we quietly create an entire generation of 10 year old Tammy Faye Baker types.

"Susie, it's time to get the bus for school."

"Ok mom, let me just finish putting my face on."

Not good.

Who's That Girl?

So yesterday I did something COMPLETELY out of character for me.

I drastically and pre-calculated-ly altered my look. I cut my long, down to the middle of my back, light, golden blonde hair to shoulder length AND, I dyed it brunette.

I shocked the shit out of every one but My Guy, because I discussed it with him first. It was a laugh out loud riot, witnessing the people in my world's reactions to the new me and I must say I keep thinking, "Who's that girl?" every time I look in the mirror. I like it, this chocolate brown me, and I think everyone else does too. It makes me look so much younger.

I haven't changed the color of my hair in years. Come to think of it, the last time I changed the color of my hair, my husband left me (not the one I'm married to now) so I'm thinking that it was a pretty ballsy move. And empowering. I feel stronger in a strange sort of way. My kids were flabbergasted at first, looking at me with eyes wide open and a half crooked smile on their shocked faces. Strange as this sounds, I feel like they are proud of me for doing it. Proud that I was not afraid to go against the norm and try something new. Proud that I'm not all long, blond hair anymore. Proud that maybe I am so much more than just my hair.

See what happens when you empower yourself with something as simple as a change in your look? You even sound different. So I'll ride this empowerment wave for a while and I'll enjoy it. But I know I'll creep back into blonde land eventually. It will start slowly, with a few light highlights to enhance the chocolate locks. Then the highlights will get lighter and lighter and before I know it, I will be a golden blonde again and by then my hair will have grown to the middle of my back again. And I'll be the old me again. Once you go blonde it becomes a part of you, for life.

But I like this new me and right now so does everybody else. It's kind of exciting. It's like looking in the mirror at a new person and sort of like My Guy is sleeping with some exotic brunette every night. And when the people in my inner circle, see me for the first time, and ask themselves, "Who's that girl?".

Friday's Freak-Fest

Hey Bloggers! It's Friday at the Daily Dandy and you know I love nothing more than wrapping up a week with those cra-zee's from Walmart.

Listen, I am all for letting your "freak flag fly" if that's what floats your boat, but these beauties are more in the "what the hell were you thinking when you got dressed this morning" category.

"You know, I wear this just to run around town and do errands...."




If you're freaky and you can't help it, hey, we'll give you a free pass. But I can issue no free pass here. Access denied! Is that Leather and Lace or just plain Linda Lovelace? I can't quite be sure. I also can't quite be sure if even Heff would hit that....

Ok, now c'mon. It's one thing if you look like that, but another if you FLAUNT it. I want to know, is this about men that have, pardon the expression, "fattie fetishes"? And is Walmart where one would go to find such men?

I'll even give her the fact that she might even want to feel sexy sometimes and put on a little black halter. Heck we all do, but in the privacy of your own home or at least neighborhood, sister. Please.

And my most favorite Freak this Friday and interestingly enough, this was entitled "Candy Dandy". I will go on record here with a FIRM denial that this lady has NO affiliation with Candy's Daily Dandy:

Oh boy, where do I get started here??

Are you shi**ing me? Oh, Ummm, oooh.... WHY? That shit is preventable, really, and could cause serious retinal damage. Like-don't stare at it for too long-type of retinal damage. Oh boy!!

While I don't agree with what these lovelies are wearing, I will honor the fact that they live in the land of the free and it is their American born right to be freaky if they so choose.

God bless America and Walmart.

I love my mother for teaching me the difference between right and wrong.

Just Plain Weird

So I'm reading a magazine yesterday, an old US Weekly, (riveting, I know) and I come across a small story that literally left me numb for a moment. It was one of those little blurbs in the news-y section of the mag where they announce things like pregnancies and births. It said simply,

"Patrick McDermott, former boyfriend of Olivia Newton John who disappeared in 2005 has been found alive and living in Mexico after faking his own death."

Now believe me, I have more pressing things that send me into a tizzy in my life, but this one had me fascinated. I remember watching a Dateline about his whole disappearance and they even interviewed Olivia for the broadcast. She said she was devastated by his "death". She spoke about how much she loved him and how they were connected, and she later took the news crew out to her backyard where she had erected a large rock garden in his honor. She said it brought her peace to go there and pray for him and talk to him and it helped her through her grief.

And the dude faked the whole thing.

So I gotta ask myself, how connected could they have been? The man faked his death to get out of reportedly $30,000.00 debt so his son could recover the $100,000.00 life insurance. Are you kidding me? I'm sure O-New-Jo spent more than $30K on her rock garden. $30K seems like a drop in the bucket for her, so if they were so connected, why didn't he just ask her for the money?

Something seems fishy here, or is it just me?

And why in God's name, did Dateline NBC hire private investigators to find Patrick McDermott? What did they stand to gain, beside a "news scoop"? Was it worth it? How much money and resources were spent to find this elusive man, who obviously did not want to be found, when that effort and money may have been better spent looking for dangerous fugitives or missing children. The whole thing is just plain weird, and now that they have found this guy, he says he does not wish to be "hounded" by the media or investigators.

Yeah, just let him live out the rest of his lie in peace.

Whatever. I'll still be facinated if I see the follow up to this story in print, but it sounds to me like the guy just wants to disappear. After he repay's his debt and answers for the faking his death thing, I think he should be allowed to go back into hiding, or obscurity, or whatever it is they are calling it now.

Grifters tend to like it that way.

Is It Wrong That I'm Jealous?

Of course it's wrong!!! Sometimes I don't even recognize myself....

I'm sure you've seen this by now. It's the most insane thing I have ever seen!
Yet, I find myself longingly watching this kid's technique. He's got it down.

It's so disturbing and wrong, yet I can't look away. He reportedly smokes 40 cigarettes a day which amounts to a two pack a day habbit. Sounds pretty expensive, and super bad for this child's health, but his father says, "I don't see the problem".

And I still can't look away.

It's just so rediculous, that I'm mesmerized by the image of this child smoking a cigarette. It's so crazy watching this baby smoke and I know by posting it here, watching it over and over again I am contributing to the glorification of this tragedy.

Yet I can't stop myself. May God bless us both!

Happy Memorial day weekend bloggers! Lay off the butts this weekend, if you can.

Tramp Stamp Trailer Trash

Sometimes on Friday's, I like to visit that crazee web site to the "trailer trash stars", The People of Wal-Mart.

There are always so many reasons to say WHY? Here are a few of my faves:

C'mon, really???

This is wrong on so many levels...where do I start? And I'm NOT going to be the one to tell her.

Just say no to crack...

Somebody didn't get enough attention at home? C'mon, convince me she has no idea what's going on??

Fresh off her recent crowning of "Miss Double Wide Jet Airstream Fashion Risk Taker" award, Amber treats her people to a celebratory meal.

AND.....Naked is the new black...