A Joke For The Graduate

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" 

The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." 
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" 

The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."


http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/technology-jokes

Save The Drama For Your Mama

So I had some people around me recently that got into an all and out, "I hate that beeyotch" and "She's just a bit*ch!". Drama....

I have been left to choose my words carefully to each of them and be very deliberate about not getting involved. The thing is, I happen to love both of these people and I just happen to be in the unfortunate position of being the common denominator between them. So #1 is pissed at #2 and #2 is pissed at #1 and I'm smack dab in the center of this sh*t storm. Both of them have tried to talk to me on separate occasions about the other one, at which time I have had to ask them to not involve me. And when they continue, I am left to distract myself with my mobile device or Facebook (that's what it's for, right?).

I have my opinions on the issue, but I'm not going to share them with either of them. So get this...the fact that I won't comment on the issue is causing them to throw shade at me??? WTF? I have nothing to do with the issue! It is completely between them and I have nothing to do with it and somehow I've found myself caught in the cross hairs.

Don't make me go all Theresa on you're asses!  And figure the sh*it out and leave me out of it.

Baby, Baby, Baby, OH!

The Biebs got arrested..

Big news on the radio as I was driving to work today. Evidently he was drag racing his yellow Lambo while under the influence of something. The press is having a field day with this latest infraction. It's like the vultures are circling now waiting for his demise. 

I say not smart ever-especially when you're Justin Bieber. 

BUT-really? Big news? Ya maybe if you're TMZ or E! but broadcasting live on every news channel? This is really not hard news worthy enough to have his mug shot streaming over the AP. Here's the thing...

He's 19! The kid is 19 years old and has lived a lifetime already. Tons of money and lived a pampered life. The life of a rock star who can pretty much do anything he wants to pretty much any day. But he's still a kid. Listen, I'm not condoning drag racing while you're hopped up on something but I get that a 19 year old would. 

My nephew got arrested for drag racing at about the same age in Small Town, USA- I don't recall his mug shot plastered all over the AP. Or the local PTO meeting either, and believe me, those suburban moms can talk... They didn't because either their kids did it too or they came dangerously close. Too close. 

It just proves that The Biebs, while being the biggest pop star on the planet, is still just a kid. A boy who likes his toys. It just so happens that he can afford the best. 

Yes, it's extremely dangerous.

Yes, it's foolish and childish.

And yes, it's not how a role model should behave. Ever. 

But it doesn't warrant the "bring down the Biebs" campaign that the press has been waging. 

Maybe all that's warranted here is a time out. His mom should ground him for a month and take his keys away. Done.

Just like every other parent of a 19 year old in the good old U S of A.

Pin Up Terror

Really Rolling Stone?

There is a distinct difference between these two covers.
Discuss.....

Changing Course

I've got to change course and talk about something else....

So forgive me, but I thought I'd change it up quite a bit. Today I want to talk about the newest beauty craze-
Tit-tooing.

You heard me right, TIT-TOOING, and it's all the rage. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't read about it for myself. Now "tittooing" is nothing like the picture above. No, this latest beauty craze comes out of the UK and it's not about pictures on boobs."Tittooing" is about  the tattooing on or around the nipple to darken the areola or re-shape the nipple. And get this: some people think their nipples are too pink.?

"A lot of people want their nipples made darker. It’s the fashion," says Gail Proudman, a clinician who performs the procedure. "Some people think theirs are too pink or their boyfriends want them done. I think sometimes they are doing it because they are conscious of them being pale and they think it’s fashionable to have dark nipples."

Since when did nipples become "fashionable"?

The entire procedure takes about two hours to perform and touch ups are needed every 12-18 months to avoid fading. Prices have been quoted at 1,200 British Pounds for a full set, which according to today's calculations is about $1827.60 USD. A real bargain.

I have to wonder how safe it all is?

I guess it all comes down to the youth in our culture being obsessed with perfection. I'm all for doing a safe procedure if you can afford it and it makes you feel good. But the last time I checked, unless your job description listed "porn star" a woman's nipples were kept mostly under wraps. Or bras. Or shirts for that matter. I'm not sure what this says about the direction of the youth of our world.

One thing's for sure, I'd file this one under titty torture.

iJacked

One of the things that I really love about my iPhone 5 is the calender app. For someone like me, it helps me to keep my appointments on track and even alerts me a day, an hour or ten minutes before an important appointment.

So it's no surprise that I'm completely PISSED that somehow, someway, I have no idea how; this fricken "Weekend Event Guide", that came from Facebook, and I  DID NOT add to my calender, has popped up on EVERYDAY of my month. WTF???

Can someone please tell me how to delete this sh*t, because now I'm pissed.

I googled the crap out of the subject, and what I found was the consensus that when you are invited to an event and you respond, you get all the events in your calender, even if you decline. Sources report that this is a FB "bug" or virus and hopefully it will work itself out, but I'm not too happy about it invading my personal space, or in this case my personal calender.

HELP!

Speechless

Honey, I Ain't A Scared Of A Little Snow

Bring it on beeyotches....