Travel Log

Sorry about my silence this week. I just returned home form an extended trip. We left on Thursday and were set to return on Monday, but the nice thing about the empty nest is not having to rush home for anyone else, so we extended it to Wed. Such a nice surprise!

Things I learned while on sabbatical:

• I can play golf! I already knew this to be true, but I haven't touched a club in over two years and I picked up right where I left off, which wasn't a bad place. I was hitting the ball well and playing the game. I played twice and dare I say this may be my new vacation obsession..
• The rest of the country is in a deep freeze. 50 states woke up this week to freezing weather, but not where I was. Florida was the exception. BUT...my last two days were what I would call chilly...62 degrees and rain. Yup chilly in Florida too. 
• Charles Manson is getting married. Stop it. Seriously? The man is 8o years old and this daffy, 26 year old named Afton Burton aka Star is going to marry him. Does this dangerous, crazy old loon still hold power over his "followers"? Evidently. Or maybe Star isn't so daffy. After Charles kicks the bucket, she may have a $tory to tell that $ome may want to hear. You know what I mean?
• I won't be "shuffling off to Buffalo" any time soon. 5 and a half feet of snow and more to come? That's just crazy! No way would I be able to handle all of that. It's bad enough we get bombed here, but record breaking snow totals. SAY IT AINT SO! I must be getting old.
• Back to the grind today. As I said yesterday, it's good tto go away but its also good to come home. Home sweet home. Glad to be back.

It's Not What You Think, Honey

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"