Wondrous Wordless Wednesday-"Santa! I Know Him!!"

Cheeky Children

This Is Me If I were Santa

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

http://www.dancentury.com/xmas.html#.UL9vHOTLSf4

"You Smell Like Beef And Cheese. You Don't Smell Like Santa"

I'm sure everyone, in the archives of their holiday pictures, has a Santa shot somewhat like this one. A shot with Santa that just ain't right. And just like a canary in a coal mine, its the little kiddies who are able to detect a foul Santa's immediately. While creepy Santa's may be abound, there are still some poor schmucks who actually enjoy doing the Santa thing despite the bad rap.


This holiday season at Sketchysantas.com you can revel in all the glory of Santa's gone bad.

"What you talkin' about Willis"

Ummm, Santa? That just aint right.

Do all shopping mall Santa's get background checks? One would hope, yet we still continue to put our children on the laps of strangers for that time honored tradition of a picture with the big guy in the red suit. Good times.

Today's Boston Herald reports that a retired mechanic, who's been donning the red suit for 35 years, is not a big fan of sketchysantas.com, "I think it serves no purpose other than to sully the reputation of all Santa's," he says."Just because a kid is crying does not mean he is a bad Santa." "A good Santa invests in a top-of-the-line suit, with much care to the beard and wig, but it also takes someone with very good acting abilities and desires to be Santa, which comes from the heart." Something tells me you have to have a lot of "heart" to withstand this all day.

Good or bad Santa is our go-to-guy at Christmas time. Most of us roll old school when it comes to Santa, so cut the new guy some slack. Maybe he's just trying to make somebody happy.