There's No Crying In Cooking..

Picture this:
Candy in the kitchen cooking all the family's holiday favorite foods on Sunday. Christmas music playing festively in the background and the family comfortably nestled around hearth and home. It's a beautiful holiday picture...until it came time to chop up the onions. The kids were horrified by mom's sudden red and tearing eyes and I was stifled by the pain and stinging.

I tried some of my best known tricks for stopping the torture while chopping onions

• Put a match stick between your teeth. (I tried both lit and not lit)
• Run the water while chopping.
• Light a candle.

None of them worked. I was crying like a little baby-and the stinging was so painful that I had to stop completely more than once. I even contemplated shorting the recipe of chopped onions because I seriously couldn't put myself through the agony for one more second.

There's no "Holly Jolly Christmas" without everybody's favorite foods-so what am I to do? What do you do? Because seriously-I'm considering using the scuba mask like my friend in the picture above. Legend has it that as the onions grow under the ground absorb the sulfurs from the earth that cause the painful gasses to emit when chopping. 

A quick internet search shows several tried and true ways to stop the tearing. I'm ready and willing to try anything at this point:

• Cut an onion under the vent-put a cutting board on the stove top and turn on the vent overhead. The ventilation fan is supposed to redirect the fumes away from your eyes. 
• Wear goggles-you can purchase specifically designed goggles for onion cutting, but everything that I read says swimming goggles work just as well.
• Freeze the onion-put the onion in the freezer 15 minutes before chopping. Theory is that the cold inhibits the onion's release of the painful gasses.  
• Put a piece of bread in your mouth-probably the easiest and most effective. The thinking here is that the bread absorbs all the bad stuff, but users of this method report that your mouth will water while chopping causing one soggy piece if bread in the end. 

All in all-I don't care which one causes what as long as it works! Because a Christmas without onions is like the year without a Santa Claus!

Wondrous Wordless Wednesday-"Santa! I Know Him!!"

2 Weeks Till C-Day

Hey Bloggers! It's just about 2 weeks and counting till the day that Santa lets us all know if we have been naughty or nice! Judging by these photos, there's going to be a lot of coal passed around, Just sayin...

Not sure if this dude is serious or not, but in a very small way the suit is kinda bad ass..scratch that-it's just bad!

The funny thing here is that Dad find absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. I can just hear him, in response to his daughters horrror, "What?"

The modern Addams family. Hey, they like to spread the Xmas cheer too! 

Oh my...What the? Uhhh, I guess I will reserve judgement here. I'm all for flying your freak flag. Right? 

But this?This is just too creepy for words. Well there are two words that come to mind: "Jazz Hands!"

After the previous two, this somehow seems normal....

Nice! Bad Granny here is workin it! You go girl!!! I love it when people poke fun in the face of Christmas.

And speaking of poking fun in the face of Christmas...This one needs no explanation.


Happy Friday Bloggers! And I hope you have a very jolly weekend!

The Great Christmas Tree Debate

I grew up in a "fake" Christmas tree household. As long as I can remember, I never had a real Christmas tree when I was growing up. Not that it really was a huge deal, but the second I had my own home, I vowed to never have a fake tree again....until now.

That's probably 20 Christmases, with my own family, that we have bought real Christmas trees. We have had huge ones, skinny ones, weirdly shaped ones, gorgeous ones, and ones that were uniquely ours in every way. And I have loved them all. They have fallen and smashed ornaments, not once but twice, they have smelled heavenly and they have brought us lots of joy and Christmas cheer. They have also created huge messes. Pine needles everywhere, water stains from spilling, scratches on the ceiling and doors and become an all over big pain in the rump. Especially when they are a complete fire hazard around the 4th or 5th of January.  I used to love to tour the Xmas tree lot, spying that perfect specimen to bring home and lovingly adorn with my Christmas memories. But now?

This year I feel differently. My "fake" Christmas tree moratorium has been lifted. I have been to friends homes recently and seen some gorgeous trees! When they told me they were fake I could hardly believe it so I did a bunch of research on the new fangled fake trees out there. They come with lights already on them?? OMG, this is truly a bonus, and there are so many shapes and sizes to choose from I could hardly decide. And they are beautiful! You can choose what kind of tree you want, like what the actual branches look like and if you want that realistic look, you can get ones that are snow covered and have pine cones. My Guy and I chose ours online, and are picking it up this afternoon and I can't wait to see it. We are thrilled and I couldn't wait to share the good news with Frick and Frack!

Big mistake..

Frick and Frack who both live in other states most of the year are not happy with this Christmas tree development. "No mom! That's disgusting!" Frick said. Disgusting I thought? That's a wee bit extreme. (God bless my baby girl, she is an actor after all.) Frack doesn't love the idea either, so I asked them if they wanted to be the ones to remove the tree from the house and clean up the mess...

Radio silence...

Just what I expected.

In any case, a fake tree it is in this house and I'm looking forward to meeting the new addition to our family. In the meantime I told my kids what every good, loving and caring parent tells their children to avoid disappointment. I said, "I'll buy you some pine tree scented spray. It will be fine."

My Grown Up Christmas List

Something for Frick.
Something for Frack.
My Guy is next. Check off the list, that.

What to do about the family swap? A $75.00 gift for a man or a woman whom never seem to stop.
Shopping online? Better do it now.
Not going to get caught wondering when it will get here and how.

Do I have enough bows, wrapping paper, ribbons and tape?
Where are the tags to put on the wrapped presents we make?
Sales here, sales there, the retailers are swarming.
Prices are dropping because the competition is warming.

Gotta make the homemade ravioli that my Grandmother made.
The sauce, turkey, fixings, cookies, cakes, and the Christmas treats I'd never trade.
Frick wants sausage and cinnamon rolls to eat.
Frack doesn't care, he's happy with every food he meets.

Bones for the dog and put up the tree.
It sounds like a lot, but it gives us all glee.
Christmas is a feeling more than a wrapped up gift,
and these "things" give us numerous memories through which to sift.

Making a list gives me the direction which gives me a push and a shove,
because through it all, everything I do is done with much love.

Christmas In September

I've decided to start shopping early for Christmas this year.

I'm not, and I repeat, not going to get all caught up in the hype and the panic of the holidays and work and work and end up buying whatever I can for whatever the price at the very end because I haven't done anything. No way. I've decided to make a schedule for the coming weeks and pick up at least two things per week for my family. I think it would be nice to be "done" by early November.

Here's the thing. The internet has changed the way we shop. Every week I get 10-20 emails touting sales, 20-30% off offers clutter my email inbox, so much so that I hardly look at them anymore. So I've decided to start looking at the deals offered and start plugging away at the big old Xmas list now.

This is all good in theory, I just hope I can really stay true to my plan. Have you ever finished your Christmas shopping early, like super early? I'd love to know how you did it.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Dandy, every creature was stirring, not least of all Candy.

The children were smiling, there was something in the air, it was the magic of Christmas and it was just about here. The store, it was booming; the sales, there were lots and the year had flown by with special memories in spots. Frick had been cast in her first NYU show and Frack was just accepted into college, ya know. They were joyous and pleasant and had matured as they grew, but Frack? He still tested the waters a time or two.

And Candy in Balmain, her guy dressed in Burberry had settled into party mode making the atmosphere quite merry. The dogs were excited, lots of crumbs to be had, even they could sense the spirit; this was no time to be sad. The prognosis was good for Candy's sister; she was tough. Everything else was unimportant, compared to her fight this crap was just fluff. They were grateful, for things had worked out quite well, wouldn't you say? So the adversity, the trying times, they were put aside for the day.

And My Guy had taken care of the kids who didn't think there was hope. They had a Christmas because of him, yes this was not the end of their rope! It gave him a quiet joy, because he remembered Christmas was rough when he was kid. So he made sure every wish was taken care of and special, you bet he did! Frick and Frack delivered the goods, the feeling was a gift in itself. Doing Santa's work for others was so fulfilling, acting just like an elf. He never forgot them, for those kids were his passion, and he solicited donations from corporate sponsors and made giving "in fashion".

As the families gathered, the good spirits abound, along with the wine and the food that was everywhere around. What a gift, was this life! And it felt good to cheer with the ones who mean most to us at this time of year. So when all was said and done and the day drifted into the night, Candy and her Guy settled in for a quiet moment to reflect on the season, so bright. 

And I heard them exclaim as they rose for the night, 

"Merry Christmas to all, may your holidays delight!"

Cheeky Children

A Boy And His Toys

We all know how little boys love their toys! Especially on Christmas morning, the joy of toys at Christmas is like no other. This post is about another kind of boy, although not little, both share the same excitement when presented with their toys.

I'm talking about My Guy.

He just re-did our garage. Yup, our garage, and you should see his peacock strut whenever he enters into his newly pimped out garage. Now, I'll admit, it looks great! Tools and sports equipment now have a newly designated place of their own, neatly displayed for easy access and even the trash bins look better, with their own space. But he didn't stop there. He added a heating system and painted floors and I swear, the man would add a  great big flat screen if I let him. He's like a kid at Christmas with everything in its place and a place for everything.

It's totally adorable.

Driving the car into the new garage is like a new adventure  too and sometimes I feel like, when the weather is bad and the car is all dirty and wet, like I'm doing something I shouldn't be. We have an extra fridge out there and it's much more pleasant to walk out to a warmer garage to get the milk. I got to thinking, was it really that easy? Was it a tiny change like a newly appointed garage that could make him so happy? All of us a little bit happier? Life a wee bit better?

I guess so.

And with all of that new fangled garage paraphernalia out there, I'm happier because he just made some of my X-Mas shopping a bit easier.

Merry Freakin Christmas

So I was dreaming of this song all night...go figure.

• Merry Freakin Christmas..Jacoby Ellsbury signed with the Evil Empire for a gazillion dollars. Ouch! We knew it was bound to happen. Ellsbury's agent is Satan and nobody wants to deal with him. Ellsbury is from CA, so no ties here to his East Coast team and it's like Wes Welker all over again. Thanks buddy, for the dedication and the memories. 

• Black Friday was a great success. Small business Sat-not so much-and Cyber Monday was a huge blow out. What's that all about? Are brick and mortar stores a thing of the past? What does that say about stores like mine? Delivery by DRONE?? And according to Amazon CEO Jeffery Bezos, if you can buy it, you can get it from Amazon and have it delivered to your door. "Complaining is not a strategy," Bezos says to small business owners. Ok Jeffery, who died and made you retail boss? I can embrace technology too. You started small once and I can only imagine the possibilities today, but the second you think you are invincible is the second you are dead in the water. Jus sayin..(for the record that last statement is not a challenge to the world's largest online retailer. Just an opinion is all)

• Still don't have my Christmas tree yet. My house is decorated but this is late for us. I'm beginning to feel the XMas pinch. Why are the holiday's so competitive?

• It's like the song above says," I don't need expensive things. They don't matter to me." Even though the holidays are a crunch and a hustle and busy and crazy, I still love Christmas and the anticipation of the holiday like I did when I was little. This is, for sure, the best time of the year. And for all my complaining, I really love every little twinkling light and ribbon and all that holiday music. 

Merry Christmas everyone. 

Ring-A-Ling-A-Ling-A-Ding-Dong-Ding

Just like the song says, "just hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting tingling too", once you hear them it's hard not to sing right along. "Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you."

Admit it. Your car radio has been on the local all Christmas music-all the time station for weeks and your heart beats a little merrier when you listen to the songs of the season. There are so many Christmas songs that put us in the mood for merriment, I wondered which ones would be in the Top 5 of all time.

According to Billboard Charts, these are the Top 5 Holiday Songs of all time:

#5. Burl Ives, "Holly Jolly Christmas". Not bad for a song that was recorded for a children's Christmas tale like "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer." Who could forget his snowman voice overs and rendition of this song.

#4. Bobby Helms, "Jingle Bell Rock".  First recorded in 1957, this song has been recorded and re-recorded by thousands of others, but Helms version is the one we want to hear. The distinctive guitar that belts out the melody in the opening seconds of the song are best known.

#3. Nat King Cole, "The Christmas Song". What would Christmas be like without this soft and soulful rendition from Nat King Cole. Roasting chestnuts has never sounded so good.

#2. Brenda Lee, "Rocking Around The Christmas Tree". Brenda Lee, a singer who sang rock pop and country hits, was best know for this Christmas song. She was 13 at the time she recorded this Christmas hit in 1958.

And the Number 1 most beloved Christmas song of all time, (according to Billboard)

#1. Mariah Carey, "All I want for Christmas is You". Yup, my very own doppelganger. Written by Mariah and Walter Afanasieff and recorded in 1994, this song remains one of the best selling singles OF ALL TIME. The thing about this song is, even though at this time of year, when they play it four thousand times a day, it still makes me smile and gets my feet tapping. And it's one of the most covered too. Michael Buble brought it down tempo with his smooth vocals and lots of other performers have tried to cover it, but in reality, there's only one Mariah, and nobody even comes close when it comes to this song.

So bloggers, did I forget anyone? Any song? Any favorites?