Dog Days Of Summer

You're either a dog or a cat person. I'm not a cat person, so the doggies are King today on the Daily Dandy!
Some of these are literally LOL worthy!

I miss my little pug Jingles....

I see this just about every morning from Buddy...

Tell me about it baby...

Grandpa doggie wisdom.

If this ever happens to me, I'm not asking questions.

Ohhh boy they are getting creative!

Seen this before..more than I care to remember. 

Now that's funny...

This one reminded me of Frick and Frack...I wonder why?

I couldn't resist this one...

Love this one!

Somedays I feel like Buddy is looking at me this way.

Happy Tuesday Bloggers! Enjoy the dog days of summer while you can!

Photo Friday

My blogger friend Corey James over at Madtexter tagged me for a photo meme. Since it's Friday, I figured what the hey, I'll play!

The rules of this one are easy:

• Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.
• Tell the story behind the photo.
• Tag 5 other people to do the same.

This photo was taken last June at my mother's Rockin' Birthday celebration. We had a big surprise party for her where we traveled by bus to a private room in a swank Boston restaurant, ate a swank Boston meal, roasted her, (well, I was the only one who roasted her, everyone else wimped out) and then traveled to an improv club where she was the star of the entire show. Mom said it was the greatest night of her life.

Pictured here with me, from left to right is my handsome as HELL nephew #1, Laurel, My Guy, My boobs,er..umm,.. I mean me, and my handsome as hell nephew #2, Hardy (not their real names). We are standing outside the restaurant, engaging in small talk and smoking disgusting cigarettes.

I love this photo because I love those boys like they were my own. Since I was about their age when they were born, I was their nanny for more that a few summers and I feel like our bond is very strong. Now that they are grown men, I enjoy spending time with them whenever I can, which is not very often. That night was a very special night for my family and I think that's evident by this photo.

I'm not a good meme tagger, so I will do the wimpy thing and just throw it out there to see what sticks. If you like the idea, run with it. I hope it brings you joyous memories, as it did for me. I want to thank Corey James for bringing me back to that great night and I will leave you with a photo from that night of the whole Rockin' fam-damily. My moms is ,of course, front and center.

Oh what a night!

Twisted Mommy Meme

It is a well documented fact that I am not a big fan of the blogger, "meme". Having said that, there are only a few reasons for me to comply with being tagged, one of which is a genuine fondness for the blogger doing the tagging.

Such is the case with The Dental Maven, who tagged me for the Motherhood Meme. In the short time since we have connected, Maven, or Mave, as I call her, has fast become a staple in my blogging routine. Her blog, "Know Your Teeth" is not only genius, but as unique and hilarious as The Maven herself. The topics range from pop culture to daily hygiene issues and always revolve around oral health. It is a certainty that The Dental Maven will make you think as well as make you laugh and her blog is worth a peek, as she has created her own unique spin on niche blogging.

So to comply with this Mommy Meme, I must list 5 things I love about motherhood and tag 5 bloggers to do the same. Since this is The Daily Dandy and I ruin everything by showing no respect for that which is sacred, I decided to instead list five things, tongue in cheek, that I love about being a mother. I know The Mave will forgive me, for I am nothing if not a loose cannon who marches to the beat of my own ipod. So here goes:

1. I love the fact that I can swear like a truck driver at my teens, but the second they utter even a somewhat mild form of profanity, I feign shock and horror at them, immediately punish them, and question the "hoodlums" that they spend their time with.

2. I love that my kids are afraid of me, but at the same time they have no problem crapping all over everything I have taught them. They damn well should be afraid, and if they think for one minute that I am just going to lay down and let them walk all over me, they would be right. I'm too freakin tired.

3. I love the fact that my being their personal ATM is, at times, a two-way street. That's right bloggers, I sometimes jack the kids wallets when I need some cash for the pizza guy or I'm just too lazy to go to the bank that day. And because my kids are always extorting money from me and My Guy, the little cherubs are LOADED; flush with a cash hoard and I know exactly where they hide it. Unfortunately for me I have a screw missing in the "it all comes out in the wash" department and I always fret about returning the cash, so I do. I hope to get over that sooner rather than later.

4. I love that I can read their personal text messages and then expertly LIE to their faces about it. I figure it is my duty as a parent and although we talk a lot about the sanctity of someone's privacy, all bets are off when it comes to teens. I NEED to make sure they are ok and if I break that rule while they are at a vulnerable age, I'm hoping good old St. Peter still may see it in his heart to give me a free pass on that one. "What are you the text police?" is my favorite response. And for some reason they can always tell when I have done it.

5. I love that "Because I said so," is a valid and binding response to any inquiry. "Why can't I have 5 friends sleep over?" Response: "Because I said so."

"Why do I have to finish my homework before I go to the mall?" Again, "Because I said so."

The four most perfect words uttered together in the English language. Of course if it were that easy, I would have them tattooed across my ass and flash them every time they inquired in a whiney tone about one thing or another. Truth is they really mean nothing. In today's world everything is a long, drawn out, emotional negotiation which I usually end up losing anyway.

And I don't think I would have it any other way.

You know the rest people, run like the Dickens with this meme if it suits your fancy.

Many thanks to The Dental Maven for bestowing upon me the Mommy Meme honor, although I twisted it around to suit me.

Sometimes I just a deviant little mother.

Queen Beeyoch

The ladies over at Scandalous Housewife have bestowed upon me a most distinct honor; that of Queen Bitch.

Hell Yeah! It's nice to be recognized for all your hard work and dedication. Thank you my bishes!

Scandalous Housewife is the home to three lovely ladies-Team Cougar-Scandy-the smokin hot Scandalous Housewife herself, Lush-Ess, her sexy, MILF counter part and Suburbia Steph, the deliciously naughty suburban house wife extraordinaire. Please check them out, one click over there and you will be hooked! (Heff, these lovelies are right up your alley) Oh the trouble and mischief we could conjure up if we lived near each other. One can only dream.....LOVE THEM!

Anyway, enough of the Scandalous love fest! So with this prestigious award I must adhere to the following:

With this award,the Queen duties include:

1. List 7 things that make you awe-summm.

2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that we love.

3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens, too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you).

Ok bishes, you ask and you shall recieve.

I decided that since the Scandalous Ones inspired this post, I would list 7 things that the bishes would approve of that make me awe-summmmm.

Warning: This could get a little racy.

1. I have no gag reflex. Nuff said.

2. I was a dancer and I still occasionally take ballet class to stay fit. Let's just say that FLEXIBILITY is my strong suit.

3. After my ex-asshole and I broke up, one of the first things I did was hook up with a hot, young, strapping, hottie that had a thing for me in grad school. Since I was married at the time we met, we became good friends until that evening....revenge sex ROCKS!

4. My breasts are real and still perky-after forty. My cleavage is a weapon I use wisely.

5. I practice a very disciplined form of exercise daily called Kegels.

6. My Guy says that I am insatiable. Like this is a problem?

7. I shop regularly at La Perla. Nuff said.

So because I love all you bitches and I couldn't choose between you, I invite you to take this award and run with it!

Thanks to Scandy and the crew for providing the inspiration for today's fun. Now if you'll excuse me, some of us may need a cold shower.

Peace Bishes!

PMS or Pretty Much Sensational

Frankly, I'm in a bit of a mood today...and I like it.

I can't say exactly why; (probably because my lower back is sore and I'm craving chocolate), but it could just be the influence of the moon's rising sun or some other crap like that. When I'm feeling like this it's not necessarily a bad thing, and by that I mean I'm not bitchy in a nasty mood kind of way. It's more like I have an edge about me. A razor sharp edge that somehow works in my favor.

No, today I feel good. Almost too good because the mood inhibitors are giving me a swagger. I very rarely get like this, but when the mood strikes, I feel compelled to go with it. I'm liking the reflection I see in the mirror and that nasty old bitch is liking me right back. This is the kind of feeling that could get me into trouble. Of course, the trouble I speak of would never happen because I'm far too smart and far too old for that kind of stuff, but no harm in workin' it, if you know what I'm sayin....So I'll wear it today as my badge of courage.

It's reflected in my attire: slimming designer jeans: check. A tight fitting top that accentuates my womanly assets in all the right places: check. Hair and make-up; done just so: check. My sexy recessional purchase wedge shoes I told you about: check. (yeah, today was just the day to break those babies out) The complete view from behind: check plus! (at least in my mind)

I was thinking this morning about an exchange I had with a guy I knew in high school. His name was Rick and he was the leader of the "Stoner crew". They were the tough guys that nobody messed with, and were just dangerous enough to stay away from. Rick and his crew held court out in the shared smoking area outside our school. I was a part of the "coolie crew" or the jocks as they are called, and we were on complete opposite sides of the social spectrum. For some reason, Rick took a small liking to me. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that I was never easily intimidated by him and that I never cowered to his bullying, always quick with a smart ass comeback to his domination tactics. Regardless, our social groups co-existed in that tiny area with minimal interaction.

One day Rick decided to make a proclamation, in front of his friends and mine when he announced to everyone, "One day, Candy (insert my last name here) I predict you will be starring in a ZZ Top video." Everyone sort of just laughed slyly and I'm sure I threw back some quick, sharp comeback because at the time, as I was only slightly familiar with ZZ Top and their music, my being a "pop princess" and all and I was more than a little annoyed at his suggestion that my life's ambition would be to star in a music video. It wasn't until later that I realized that Rick had paid me the highest form of a compliment in his world.
I never forgot it, and on days like this, I recall it to memory. A visual aid to explain my swagger, so to speak.

So take this as my offering to go and get your "swagger on". I hope it inspires you to put a little bit of that sometimes necessary edge in your step.

And God help My Guy tonite, cuz it's date night and after all that has been said here today, HELL YEAH, you can bet I know how to use them!

D Is For Dandy

I have been put to task…by myself, yes, but put to task none the less. Sass over at Are You Sassified was playing this alphabet meme yesterday and, in perfect Sass fashion, she made it look fun and easy so I uncharacteristically decided to play along. If you haven’t checked Sass out, please do so, she is one of my favorite bloggers with that certain panache to call it like she sees it. As I’ve said before, I’m not a big fan of meme’s so I’ll try to make this brief and as Sass did before me, if you decide you want to play, leave me a comment and I’ll assign you a letter.

So, it works like this, you are assigned a letter of the alphabet to best illustrate 10 things you love beginning with that letter. Sass gave me D cuz I’m Dandy, or Candy, or whatever, but D is my letter and I’m sticking to it. Since there are no other rules to live by in this game, don’t be surprised if I twist and turn it a bit to my advantage. Why not?? We are the dream makers and the destiny takers, right?

Let the Dandy games begin!

1. Daughters and Sons-I could begin no list of things I love without a mention of the two most important people in my world. My children. My two hands, as I tell them. Without them (my hands and my kids) I couldn’t function. While it is true they love to challenge me at every opportune moment, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have taught them well and I cherish the beautiful souls they each possess. They are amazing people, each talented and gifted in their own right, and we love each other without question or condition.

2. Dinner’s Out-I am a great cook and I can be found on any given day, around dinner time, camped out in front of my stove, preparing the evening meal. Dining out is a special treat and something I love to do for a change of pace. And the thought of having an expert prepare my meal and serve it to me?! Pinch me honey cuz I think I have died and gone to heaven. I especially love eating foods I wouldn’t normally cook at home like Asian Fusion, Middle Eastern cuisine, Seafood and Thai food. This brings me to-

3. Date Night-There is no better way to say I love you and bond with your honey than a planned date night. I love putting on my sexy stilettos, a fabulous dress, and just the right touch of that perfect perfume to go out for a wonderful evening alone with My Guy. It keeps the home fire burning!

4. Dynamic Duos-Holy Crime Fighters Batman! That’s right. I love me some Batman and Robin. And I’m not talking about George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell. I roll old school when it comes to my Batman. Adam West, Burt Ward and the cast of the original TV series are my favorite. Eartha Kitt as Catwoman, Burgess Meredith as the Penguin and Cesar Romero as the Joker. It just doesn’t get any better than that. It must run in the blood because I’ll never forget, when my daughter was about 3 years old, she caught sight of Batman for the first time on TV and literally stood memorized for a moment. She then said to me, “Who’s that mommy?” I told her, “That’s Batman, honey,” and she replied, eyes wide open, “I like that guy.”

5. Diamonds-I’m sure you saw this one coming, and when it comes to bling I am no different than any other woman. The ice is just so nice and the bigger the stone the better. I am blessed enough to possess a wonderful collection of my own (which used to be bigger, before the robbery. But please don’t get me started on that) and enjoy wearing them, but I am smart enough to realize that in the big scheme of things, they rank very low on the important scale. I still love them though!

6. Dean Martin-I’ve always loved the Rat Packer’s because they represented my parent’s era of their young life. When I met My Guy, he reintroduced me to Dino and I fell in love with his suave sound all over again. As Dean sings, “You’re nobody till somebody loves you.”

7. Dogs-Definitely a dog person. I have 3 too many. Not into cats..at all. Sorry.

8. Dolce and Gabbana-Italian designers. All designers in general, I love designer clothes, handbags, shoes- you name it. I either have it or want it! I am a hopeless slave to fashion. And so is my wallet.

9. Dancing-Dance was my minor in college and I can cut a rug, I tell ya. I love classical ballet the most and I believe that when I am 80 I will still be taking ballet classes, stretching at the barre. Letting loose at a nightclub with friends is also one of my favorite things to do.

10. Daydreaming-I believe in the power of the dream. Without it there is nothing to live for, work for or strive to attain. In a world cluttered with cynicism, I hope that I never loose my ability to dream. It keeps me sane and is part of what makes me who I am.


So there you have it! 10 Dandy’s all about Candy. You wanna play??? C’mon you might learn a thing or two about yourself and have some fun too! Drop me a comment if you’re game and thanks for listening.

Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word.

I got this baby from Lisa at The Butterfly Farmer. Not a huge fan of meme's myself, I considered blowing this off for all of 3 seconds, before deciding that in the spirit of the New Year and fresh starts (and because I like Lisa :), I will take part in this HONEST game and fulfill what has been asked of me. I also liked the way Lisa tagged us by saying, " these are some people I wouldn't mind knowing some more honest stuff about".

So, Let's start with the rules:"The honorees are to: a) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap."

Instead of passing this on to 7 bloggers, I think all of my fellow bloggers embody the spirit of the honest scrap, so I implore any of you to feel free to take this and run with it!!

Who said this was gonna be easy? Here goes:

1. When I was a kid in third grade, I hated my teacher, Mrs. Reeves, so much that I used to fantasize about running away during class and running all the way home. I almost got my wish because on the second-to-last day of school, she grabbed me by the arm so hard that I ended up kicking her in the leg to break free from her grip, and then ran like a maniac out of the school and up the street. I didn't make it far. Our Principal, Miss Hadelski, who everyone thought was meaner than Mrs. Reeves, drove up behind me in her car and brought me back to school. At the time I was so scared! Scared out of my mind! This was the most HORROR I had ever faced in my young life and my behavior could be construed as that of a wild, out of control child. I think I was acting out of pure instinct to survive. Much to my surprise, Miss Hadelski was very nice to me and understanding and I didn't get into any trouble. What's interesting is that they NEVER called my mom. And mean old Mrs. Reeves spent the next day, the last day of school, taking me out in the hallway, trying to bully me into telling my mom. (you'd think she would have called my mom herself... hmmm) I told her I would tell my mom. I told her anything to get her off my back, but I never told my mom. I walked around for years with so much guilt and worry that my mother would find out until I was old enough to realize that I had been the victim of abuse. I think I still hate Mrs. Reeves.

2. I like liverwurst. Really, I do. And I especially like it with onions.

3. I cry at every and any sappy, sentimental, silly moment possible. It's a curse really, and I SUCK at trying to conceal it. I was watching the Brady Bunch with my kids the other day and I got all choked up over the episode when Jan decides she wants to be an only child...I am such a loser.

4. When I see a woman wearing a wedding ring, my thumb instinctively rubs over the vacant area on my ring finger where my wedding ring used to be. This always happens to me and I often wonder what it is about that specific symbol of marriage that makes me react that way. Could it be because my ex broke into my home and stole ALL of my jewelry, including my wedding ring? (oooh, did I say that out loud?? I'm sorry, the police have not confirmed that) Not that I would have ever worn it again. My first reaction after the theft was, "Good. It all held bad karma anyway." But now, three years later, I'm still pissed off.

5. I have great teeth. And for some reason they are naturally super white. I went to go have them bleached last year and they laughed at me, telling me the result would not be any different considering my teeth already matched their whitest result. But I insisted, and they gladly took my $400.00 . I walked out of the office an hour later with neon white/blue teeth. They were TOO white and I was embarrassed to smile for a few days. Chalk that up to an expensive lesson.

6. I am a pocketbook FREAK! The more expensive the better. The problem is that once I get the bag I desire, I am already on the hunt for my next victim. And once I'm done with a bag I rarely, if ever, use it again. My Guy kids me all the time about selling my cast offs on EBAY and financing a trip around the world with the proceeds. HA!

7. I am a very good golfer. I could be a great golfer if I played more. I figure I'll save that for when I slip into my golden years. Then I'll be able to kick all my fellow silver-haired doll's asses with pleasure.

8. Now that my kids are both teens, I let them swear. A little. You know, I let the occasional "shit" and "ass" slide. My fourteen year old has even dropped an f-bomb in front of me. I try not to let that one go-unless it is absolutely necessary-in context.

9. I am SUPER touchy feely. My poor Guy!! I am constantly pawing him and kissing him and my kids too! But I have recently realized, much to my delight, that I don't do it because I seek their acceptance. I do it because it's so much a part of who I am, that I need to express that physical love in order to be the best me possible. It's more about me than it is about them. (funny-when I'm not all over them-they immediately wonder if I am OK)

10. I don't pretend to have all the answers, or be "holier than thou", nor do I consider myself to be damaged goods just because I am divorced. I think I am a splendid example of a strong, surviving woman who is lucky enough to have risen from the ashes, better from the experience to tell the story. And tell the story I will.

Crappy Stockpile Continued

I got tagged for That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts for Sick People Stockpile by Scope over at ScopeTech! Oh the honor of knowing that I have chosen that perfect piece of crap to brighten up a sick person's holiday.

I chose this which ranks pretty high on the CRAP-O-METER:

It's caption reads, "Watch it rot!! It's easy to do and fun to grow!" After all, they're SICK! It's not like they have anything else to do. When all is said and done the recipient a will have an experienced companion to keep them company while in their "sick exile".

I like this idea and the whole "pay crap forward" concept it promotes. Here's how it works:
1) Pick a crappy gift for the That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts For Sick People Stockpile and post it on your site.
2) Pick 5 bloggers that you think might want to open their hearts and pick a crappy gift.
3) Link back to this post.
4) And if you really want to get into heaven, write, "I POSTED A CRAPPY GIFT" in the comments section of this post so we can see the crappy gifts you picked.

Since the crap must keep flowing for the sickies, I tag:


Lydia- Obsessive Girl.- I love you waaaaay to much not to let you share in this joyous holiday crapfest.

Slyde- Slydes Blog- Dude, won't you please spread the crap? For the sick people and all.

Slopmaster-Slopmaster Tales- This may be hard for Slop because it has nothing to do with sex, but I'm sure he'll give it the old college try. There is no rule that says it can't be crappy and sex realted!

Lisa-The Butterfly Farmer-Lisa you are funny and maybe you want to get some gift ideas from your old lady friends. Not Noni though, Noni is way tooo cool!

Coco-Piece O Coconut Cake-Instead of "upping" your game you have to "down" it. Your game is way too up! I know because we worship in the same fashion houses of faith.

Good Luck every one! and be sure to check back here later today for my weekend post! It is sure to be a Rockin' around the Christmas Tree good time!

I'm it!! It's all about me!!

I was tagged almost a week ago and I fully realize that I am behind you all in this game, so please forgive me on my timing. Ever true to my word, I promised I would play so here goes:

Here are the rules for the game:
1.Link to the person that tagged you
2.Post the rules on your blog
3.Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4.Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5.Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6.Let your tagger know when your entry is UP.



Six non important/quirks/habits/things about Candy:


1. I swear I was born with an extra Y chromosome. Females are born with two X chromosomes and males are born with one X and one Y. I think I somehow ended up with an extra Y because I am such a guy when it comes to certain things. Truth be told- I am the biggest girly girl diva going;to be sure, but I also can sit down and talk sports, belch, bet, quote player stats and hang with the boys better than most guys. I know this because I have been told on numerous occasions by the men in my life. Plus, they always want to watch the big games at my house because I always serve the best game time nosh. I also love cars,(although I dont talk horsepower and things of that nature and wouldn't know my way around an engine) and I can play just about any sport. A perfect afternoon to me would be out golfing with my son, my daughter, my guy, my dad or any other member of my family. Once, on vacation with my guy, when we first started dating, I whipped his butt playing one on one basketball. My dream job, at one time, was to get a job in television sports as a commentator-but I guess I'm too old now and would definitely settle for sports journalism as a career.

2. I love miniatures. Anything and everything little! I love doll houses, and accessories from Barbie dolls because they are tiny little replicas of Barbie's fabulous wardrobe. I meticulously wrapped and saved my childhood doll house and it's contents and occasionally I take it out to admire it. I have always been this way as my mom used to predict that when I grew up I was going to marry a midget.

3. I was a top ten runner up in a state title holder beauty pageant. Once.. I absolutely HATE it when people acknowledge this. I did it when I was in college and figured it would be a great way to meet media types and possibly network for my big career in sports journalism. I told no one...although my mother told everyone and when I came back people were either interested in getting all the details of my experience and/or snickering behind my back. I knew very early into it that pageants were not for me when I realized that a large majority of the girls neither spoke to each other nor ate in front one another and that I had to be "on" at all times in full make-up and heels the entire weekend. I figure the weekend was not a total loss because I now possess the proper research if I ever decide to write a novel about a crazed beauty queen serial killer.

4. I am a terrible liar. (Which, of course, has been documented on this blog and can be archived under-lies.) This fact is quite ironic seeing as I was at one time married to the World's Biggest Liar. I am honest to my detriment and I guess you could say I am sometimes not aware of the fact that I am being lied to. My guy says that I think everybody is the Easter Bunny, but I'd rather see it as a blind faith in the goodness of others. Despite what I have been through, I still believe that most people have good intentions.

5. I am a sucker for love. Being an Italian, and because I posess a strong passion, I have the capability for intense love. I am constantly pawing and lovingly touching all of the people I adore. I believe that a hug can cure alot of what ails you and I believe that to be able to share that love is a great gift.

6. I still believe that I will someday be famous. I shared this fact with Tova Darling on her blog one day, and I realize that the clock is ticking. Despite the fact that my brother lovingly informed me one day, "I think that ship has sailed", I still have faith it can happen and will. You never know. I won't give up on my dreams.

I have been tagged by three people:
Piece O' Coconut Cake
Lydia @...down the rabbit hole...
a @red tent girls

I tag:
Joe@ The Other World Wide Leader In Sports- I know this is not the kind of content you have on your blog- but since it's only you and I for now, play along and you can delete it later.

The Bad Husband Chronicles-maybe I can get her to respond?

The dude from Day Old News. I don't know who you are but I read your blog daily. It's like a mini subscription to People magazine. Your funny.

My sista Pam Disarro. She does not have a blogger account...YET. But you will notice she comments daily. Sista-you can leave yours on my comment section. Just don't write a novel.

Ask Alice @Alice in Average-land-we share the same unemployed status.