Mini Me

I got the chance to spend some quality time with Frick this weekend before she headed back to the Big Apple and you know what I discovered?

She is a total Mini Me.

I guess I always knew this to be true, but the older she gets the more I begin to see the similarities in our personalities. She is totally me.

She's been going through some stuff recently, and that stuff is stuff we all go through. Growing pains, heartache and the kind of stuff that challenges the foundation of who we are. And she's handled it much like I do-or would have. She even made some statements that I have made when faced with a similar situation. I was kind of surprised.

She's a mini me.

We talked...a lot. And we discussed things and I gave her advice as best I could. I think she gets it, but because we are so similar I feel her pain, quite literally.

We both work hard and are focused on the end result.
We both play hard and enjoy play as a satisfying reward.
We both love hard-sometimes to our detriment.
And we both feel really hard, which in turn makes us vulnerable and obvious. We wear our hearts on our sleeves.

She too, has integrity and a great capacity to "over think" things, which gives me the unique opportunity to provide her with some perspective. Something I sometimes seek in my own mother. I can hardly believe this amazing young woman came from me and is like me in so many ways. I'm left to question whether this is a good thing or a bad thing?  Of course, I hope she has a different outcome with her life. One that is better than the life I have lived and I wish for her not to duplicate the mistakes I have made. Let's hope history does not repeat itself here.

Like they saying goes, "Mirror, mirror on the the wall. I am my mother after all...."

Move In Day!

So I have been up to my elbows in packing up Frick for college. Sorry about my absence.

A few things:

Yesterday was my 3rd wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has been three years because it feels like I have been with My Guy forever! We are so lucky to have found each other and I just want to say Happy Anniversary to the best husband, father and to one of the greatest men I know. 

I am currently in New York city about to embark on moving Frick into her dorm. I will then enjoy the rest of my Anniversary weekend with my husband and daughter in the Big Apple. (Frack had to stay home with his grandparents. Golf team practice has started) I will be absent from the bloggersphere from today, August 29, 2013 and will not be returning until Tuesday, September 3, 2013. 

Happy Labor Day bloggers! Make sure you BBQ all your summertime favorites and enjoy all the outdoor activities you can! 

How The Hell Did That Happen?

Really? It's already over?

The summer flew by and I hardly realized it was over. A waitress at a restaurant last night said to me when I ordered scrod, "Oh cmon, you can do better than that. It's the last weekend of the summer." Then it hit me. It's Labor Day Weekend already? I guess I have been so focused on Frick going to college and Frack's golf that I didn't even give it a thought.

I didn't really do much this summer, but I stayed close to home; close to the heart.  I'm over the BBQ thing and I'm not feeling a melancholy sense of dread like I usually do at this time. I'm actually looking forward to fall. I've got some great things coming my way.


 Highlights:

• I'm going up to Maine to attend a birthday party for a dog. Yes, a birthday party for a dog, a great excuse to have a party. It should be a good time. 
• Frack got his braces off on Wednesday and damn! if my baby boy isn't drop dead handsome! I keep asking him to see his smile, and it's driving him crazy. Too bad, is my response. I paid for them, so I wanna see them. Kid's got a killer smile, and I keep telling him his face is so much brighter! That's the best adjective I can use to describe it. We told him to get a stick, cuz he's gonna be beating the chicks off with it when he goes back to school. He's also playing light's out golf right now. Kid's a stud.
• Frick is LOVING college and surprisingly, she calls pretty regularly. I'm so proud of her, she is fulfilling her dreams right now and becoming the person she will be for the rest of her life. I miss her like crazy, but I am so excited for her and happy that she is enjoying this wonderful time in her life. I wanna go to college. 

Peace to you and yours for a safe and happy Labor Day. 

So This Is Really It.

This is it.

Her time has come. It's time to leave the big nest and fly. Fly she will, of that I have no doubt. It's me I'm worried about. How am I ever going to get through this? I'm gonna miss her so much it already hurts like crazy. What will I do without my baby girl?

Truth is, I'll be fine. I did the exact same thing that she is doing this weekend 28 years ago and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Part of me is jumping up and down for her in excitement, and part of me is dying inside. She's going to be great. She's going to thrive. She's going to fall in love with her city. HER city, because that's what it is now. And I've never been more confident that she's going to be EXACTLY where she belongs.

The pride is swelling up in my throat, right next to the lump that is omni-present these last days. I know I have to let her fly free. But part of her is holding back too, and I wonder if she's picking up on what I'm feeling. Part of her is scared and part of her does not want to go. But we both know that this is good for all of us. This is what growing up is all about. This is what all that hard work was for. One look at her and I know I've done good. She's awesome, and I couldn't be more proud of who she has become. Keep her safe New York city. She's my whole world.

So, I'm embarking on this journey with her today and because I'm a helicopter hover-er, I'm staying  in the city until Monday. I will not be returning to the bloggersphere until Tuesday, August 28, 2012.

She's going to be great.
I'm going to be a mess.

I'm going to try to play it cool in front of her because this isn't about me.
God grant me the strength to get through.

"Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves."-Ernest Dimnet

This Is Now

I can't believe it's finally here. This is now.

This is that day, when you give birth to your child and you look at her with hope and joy in your eyes, this is one of the days you think of; someday she will graduate.

This is the day I have looked at from a distance maybe a thousand times but never really saw it until today, never really felt it until today.

This is the day she has been looking forward to forever and I reminded her, with a tear in my eye, to stop and take a moment and breathe it all in.

I can't believe I have a child that is graduating. My child, the one I coddled and took care of and wiped her nose and scratched her back and soothed her fears. Today she graduates from me too, and the woman before me is powerful and bright. She will illuminate the world just by being in it.

Today we celebrate her work ethic and her determination to succeed. It's all culminated in the pomp and circumstance of ceremony. I'm so proud to be her mom, today and everyday. She is a gift.

This is the day.
This is now.