Mini Me

I got the chance to spend some quality time with Frick this weekend before she headed back to the Big Apple and you know what I discovered?

She is a total Mini Me.

I guess I always knew this to be true, but the older she gets the more I begin to see the similarities in our personalities. She is totally me.

She's been going through some stuff recently, and that stuff is stuff we all go through. Growing pains, heartache and the kind of stuff that challenges the foundation of who we are. And she's handled it much like I do-or would have. She even made some statements that I have made when faced with a similar situation. I was kind of surprised.

She's a mini me.

We talked...a lot. And we discussed things and I gave her advice as best I could. I think she gets it, but because we are so similar I feel her pain, quite literally.

We both work hard and are focused on the end result.
We both play hard and enjoy play as a satisfying reward.
We both love hard-sometimes to our detriment.
And we both feel really hard, which in turn makes us vulnerable and obvious. We wear our hearts on our sleeves.

She too, has integrity and a great capacity to "over think" things, which gives me the unique opportunity to provide her with some perspective. Something I sometimes seek in my own mother. I can hardly believe this amazing young woman came from me and is like me in so many ways. I'm left to question whether this is a good thing or a bad thing?  Of course, I hope she has a different outcome with her life. One that is better than the life I have lived and I wish for her not to duplicate the mistakes I have made. Let's hope history does not repeat itself here.

Like they saying goes, "Mirror, mirror on the the wall. I am my mother after all...."

Big City Momma!

Today's moms are an incredible hybrid of sorts. Made up of one third Super Woman, one third Bat Girl and one third Wonder Woman, super heroes, if you ask me moms are busy super humans. So it's no wonder that moms, after doing everything they need to for everyone else barely have a moment for themselves. And I'm sorry to tell you ladies-it's beginning to show. But fear not-I may have just come up with a solution!

Busy moms everywhere, take notice!

I'm giving my expert beauty advice to moms on the Big City Mom's blog, click HERE. 

And trust me when I tell you-it gets better. And just when you think you got this mom thing down,  you are left missing them when they grow up and fly the nest. So enjoy it while you still can, but make sure you take a little time for yourself along the way.

Mommy Dearest.

Would it be considered "over parenting"? Lately I have been guilty of taking on the problems of my grown, somewhat adult children? This is a new sensation to me because in the years leading up to now, it was my JOB to take on the problems of my kids. Now that Frick and Frack are 20 and 19 respectively and out of the house, I find myself obsessing over the silly little day to day stuff that they complain about which really has nothing to do with me.

For God's sake wouldn't you think I have better things to worry about??

Yet here I am worrying and thinking about their small stuff. Things like social issues, romance issues, the influence of peer pressure, academic pressure and I worry that they are unequipped to deal with these things. Despite my worry, they seem to be handling the world without me just fine, and its not like I am constantly calling them or texting with my advice. I silently think about their stuff and find myself wondering how they may have handled a situation, ever careful not to let on that I have been worrying about it. Sometimes I think I worry about their crap more than they do.

I finally realized that despite what I think, my children are equipped to handle these minor navigations through their lives. Dare I say it, it's probably good for them to handle these things alone, even though I don't want to admit it. I have taught them well. Then it dawned on me-maybe they are happy? Maybe something that I may not agree with was actually born out of a choice. A choice that they made for themselves to keep their lives in harmony. After all, it is their life to lead.

It's never easy, this parenting thing, is it? But I realize that no matter what I'm not going to change who I am. I just have to learn to let them be who they are. If they want my advice, they'll ask for it and I will be ready and waiting to give it. Yes, hard as it is I'm going to have to learn to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my kids and their small stuff.

Whether I like it or not.

Teen Mantras

 So a friend sent this to me over the weekend, and I loved the whole message. Even if you don't have teens, these are worth reading and sharing.

1. Yes, your freshman year counts towards your GPA for college entrance. Screw it up and you’ll work for crap wages your whole life. 

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2. No means NO. In every possible circumstance.

 

3. Join every sport, every club, every after school activity no matter what the cost. It’s cheaper than bail.

4. Repeat after me: I am never in that much of a hurry…I am never in that much of a hurry. Now say that every time you get behind the wheel. It will save your life and that of your best friend in the seat next to you.

5. Don’t smoke pot. It ruins your

 short term memory. (Did I already say that?)

6. Don’t ever get a credit card. Ever. You earn it or you live without it.

7. If I yell at you, it’s because I love you. And also, because you pissed me off. To avoid the latter, stop being an idiot.

8. Make a vivid picture inside your head of every great moment of your childhood. You’ll need those to get through adulthood.

9. Make snow angels as often as possible.

10. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

11. Be always benevolent. Yes, that’s a word. Look it up.

12. Call me for a ride even if you are so drunk you barely know my number. I’ll probably be mad for a while but I’ll respect you for calling and I won’t kill you. Riding with someone who is drinking will.

13. Be a leader, not a follower. Unless you are doing stupid things, then follow the kid with the highest GPA.

14. Love your siblings, even when you don’t like them. Some day you will be trying to get them to take care of me in my old age. If they are mad at you, you are stuck with me.

15. I’ve been there, done that on more things than you can imagine. I’m not stupid and I know what you are doing. I was once you (times ten).

16. Work hard at everything you do. Anything worth doing is worth doing your best at.

17. Cover it. (Enough said.)

18. When I tell you to clean your room, do not point at my messy room and raise your eyebrows. I’m trying to raise you to be better than me.

19. Learn to type; to budget; and to pray. All are equally important.

20. Never be sedentary. Some day soon you will no longer be able to move like that. Enjoy it.

So Now I'm Really Pissed

OK, now I'm pissed.  Another Twitter virus???

WTF!!! How does this happen?

Does this mean I'm Twitter vulnerable? I got the virus from my daughter's friend. Her Twitter feed sent me a message yesterday that said, "OMG, I'm laughing at these pics of you (followed by a link)". Last year, the same thing happened and I totally fell for it and tried clicking on the link. I must have tried three or four times, then I started to get the messages from my followers that someone had hacked my account. I changed my password and did what I had to and proceeded on. Problem solved.

This time, I knew it was a virus and did not click on the link. I ignored it. Was that my mistake? Then last night, I got another message from my daughter's friend that said, "Someone is saying terrible things about you (followed by a link)".  Even though I didn't click the link this time, my followers still got the virus. WTF??? How annoying. I have since deleted all the messages, changed my password, but I want to know how it got into my account. Now I'm a Twitter hazard, since it's happened twice.

How do I protect against this happening again? I mean, I use my Twitter for business and today one of my favorite clients emailed me and asked me personally if I knew who it was that was saying bad things about her. I immediately explained to her that it was a virus and that I was sorry for the inconvenience, but that can't be good for business.

Any advice? I'm so pissed.

I Didn't Sign Up For This...Or Did I?

I've got to make this quick today because, believe it or not, I have to make a house call this morning. Yup, a house call. We make-up artists are amazing people, I tell ya. Anyway, I'm in a bit of a tizzy over the hiring of an employee. Dang, no one said it was going to be easy, but no one prepared me for this...

So I put the word out to some of my former colleagues and told them I needed someone part time. 2 days a week, minimum, which is 14 hours. I got a lead from one and I followed up. The girl is fantastic! She has years of experience as a make-up artist and she is a licenced esthetician. Which means that she is an expert in skin care, which means she can sell my highest priced item and one that will keep customers coming back. This is all good. Very good.

She calls me and we set up a time for her to come to the store. She comes and she is knowledgeable, adorable, and eager to join ranks. I'm liking her so far. I explain to her that I need two days a week, one during the week and one or two Saturday's a month, to which she replies, "Great." She's a mom, so Sat may work better for her, she says, but she can't do every Sat. I understand, believe me I do. If I can have two Saturday's off a month, I am golden. We talk compensation, to which she agrees. We part ways with the understanding that she will email me her schedule.

I get to work yesterday and I have three emails from her, one of which asks about cash incentives for meeting daily sales goals and about compensation for travel. Hmmm. I'm not opposed to this at all. As a matter of fact, I like her initiative. So I (me and My Guy) come up with a fair and attractive incentive package, which if she meets or exceeds her goals, will give her some nice cash at the end of each month. She likes it. I then ask for her schedule. She can't start until May and she can only commit to Tuesday's and one Sat in May. Huh?

So I send her a very nice email explaining that maybe I wasn't clear. Even though in every email thread I specifically state that the job is a 2x a week commitment, she might not have understood. I need her additional dates for May AND I was hoping I could get her in in April, as this is peak buying season. She emails back that that is all she can commit to right now.

What the F?? I'm seriously at a loss here, because am I an idiot or did she just completely re-neg on everything we agreed to?

I'm thinking this is not a good sign and my gut tells me to tell her no way. BUT-she's an ace with all these great references and credentials. I know she can sell my product and with her incentive package, even for two days, it's a win win for both of us. BUT, I need someone to commit to two days so she can build a clientele and make an impact immediately.

Any advice?

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I got an invitation to attend my High School reunion in November.

The question begs to be asked, should I go? When I recieved it, all that angst I had left back in the 80's came rushing over me like the Johnstown flood. I'm not quite sure I NEED go. Granted, I did attend the last one, five years ago and I wonder if every five years is the way to go with these things. I had a great time, but things have changed drastically for me since then.

This time, I have to go as a "divorcee". Not that I really care about that, but do I really want to explain all of that crazy shit to tons of people I never see? Not really. I still see all of my high school friends throughout the year. We have managed to stay pretty close and always travel to Cape Cod or some other destination at least once a year to bond (read: get drunk and act crazy). We still e-mail each other regularly and attend milestone events in each other's lives, so the angst thing would be about the other classmates that would be in attendance. The ones I don't keep in touch with.

Then there's the worry about loosing more weight, a killer outfit, and whether or not My Guy needs to attend the function with me. He knows most of my High School friends anyway, and he has heard all the petty shit that goes on between us and the good stuff too. Do I need to subject him to this, or do I fly solo and go into the Lion's den alone? I wonder. I suppose it could be fun, but maybe a decade or so between reunions is better served. I hate all the phony bull shit that goes on at these things. People shrilly telling you,"How great you look!" and people passing around pictures of their children and lying about how wonderful their lives are. It could be a good opportunity to network with people, and have a few laughs with old friends, but at whose expense? Mine? And with the big "D" hanging over my head, do I just look like another statistic? (which I am anyway)

I tend to be a pretty confident person in general, so I hate the fact that this invite has spiraled me back into a time of insecurity and uncertainty.

Give it to me straight bloggers, I can handle it.