Showing posts with label Rednecks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rednecks. Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2013

Candy's Weekly Wank




"You've just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"
"Phil"
"But you named the last eleven Phil"
"Yeah its great. I say, "Phil go clean the room", they all go clean their room. I say, "Phil come for dinner", they all come for dinner."
"But what if you only want one of them?"
"Oh! Then I call them by their last name."

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Redneck Medicine




Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'


http://www.lotsofjokes.com/latest_jokes.asp

Friday, September 9, 2011

You Know You're A Redneck If...



You showed up at the high school prom by limo.



You relax with friends in your back yard spa.



You can proudly display all the wedding photos.



You carry around your little lap dog.



You just hosted Uncle Earl and the family at the family reunion.



Calamari is one of the foods you eat regularly.




You have your own stool at the local pub.




You're a true fashion visionary.

Happy Weekend Bloggers!