Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloweenie!

Happy Friday bloggers! Today is not just Friday, it's HALLOWEEN!! We were discussing last night how Halloween is a really huge deal if you are between the ages of 5-12. It's probably the second most anticipated day of the year for a kid.

Proof that some of us never really grow up, here are some hilarious examples of halloween creativity at it's finest!



Couple o' boobs, these two. The one on the right is kinda pretty? No?




This is great! But the toilet dude? He's going to get a serious quad workout tonite. And the other guy?
He's going to catch a serious cold tonite?





Stop it....that is the cutest/funniest thing I have ever seen..



Gross...just gross, but the further I look at it the more I think its genius. Yeah, gross, but genius.





Bwahahahahah! Really? Bwahahahaha!




I gotta give the guy props for creativity. I love it! It may not work so well with the ladies though. It's like he's putting the cart before the horse. You know what I mean?




Now this guy? He's got it all figured out. If he finds any takers he's gonna have a good time tonite. 




AND THE BEST FOR LAST:


I'm sorry, but I LOLed so hard when I saw this. This is so wrong on so many levels but you gotta love it when someone laughs right in the face of life. Imagine the two of them looking at this photo 20 years from now! I just think this is hilariously wrong, but hilarious nonetheless. 

Happy Halloween bloggers! Have a safe and happy evening and take a moment to appreciate this all Hallows Eve, a unique American tradition. 


Thursday, November 1, 2012

You Can Insert "X-Husband" Too, Ya Know.


My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the
time our divorce started and she got her license shortly
before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the
aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error:
Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating. 

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was very lucky.
































 Happy Belated Halloween!!!


Monday, October 31, 2011

Really?




Today is a snow day.

Can you believe that I just told you that? Seriously, today is a snow day for all of us because the storm that hit us over the weekend nearly crippled this area and we are AGAIN without power for days. This time both my husband and I cannot go to work because there is no power and it's only halloween. Last time neither of our businesses were effected.

So what ever happened to Global Warming?

Not around here. It's like Armageddon around here and I feel like I just went through this recently.

Because I did just go through this recently. It was two months ago to the day that Irene hit this area with high winds and downed power limes, leaving us powerless for five days.

Today is day two and I'm optimistic that this will be the end. That power will be restored by tonite, and that this was just a minor bump in the road. I can't ever remember being without power for this long, ever.

I'm moving to Florida....

Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloweenie



Spooks and kooks abound, this is the weekend for the crazee's to hit the streets because for one weekend only, it's a prerequsite to let your freak flag fly!! (imagine what those crazees at Wal Mart are going to do??)


I am NOT dressing up for Halloween. I figure I'm freaky enough without any help from some elaborate costume, but I will be at the 50 yard line come All Hallows Eve, watching My Tommy kick the crap out of Brett "I didn't text that woman a picture of my penis" Favre and Randy Moss. Oh what a joy!
The picture above is of my kitchen table, today! I'm so fricken rock and roll...I can't stand it!!!!


Must be the new hair.....


Happy Halloween Bloggers!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween

Here's hoping you don't go out on Halloween and make a complete ASS of yourself.

Have a great Halloween and a great weekend bloggers!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm Too Old For This Crap



Saturday night, being All Hallows Eve, marks the American tradition of dressing in costume and commencement of the tricks for treats. Being the mother of a teen-aged girl and boy means that my trick or treat responsibilities have changed from escorting the festivities to chaperoning the festivities. There will be no trick or treating on the streets of my sleepy little town for my kids. They tell me that they are too old and waaay too cool for that. It's now house parties on the streets of my sleepy little town. This year, the parents got together and decided that the Halloween party would be held in our small, historical town tavern, which we rented out for Saturday night.

We meticulously put together a nutritious menu of pizza, pretzels, chips, cookies, soda and candy for the shindig. There is a group of us, with spouses and significant others, that will be on hand to chaperon the evening. Truth be told, we are planning on having a better time than the kids. We've got music, goodies for the kids and plenty of alcohol for the adults, which we will discretely hide from the kids. We decided that the teens would be best served if we incorporated a philanthropic spirit, and made it mandatory to bring a canned good or non-perishable food item to benefit the town food pantry for the elderly as their admission to the party. We are expecting a few hundred kids. Good times.

But of course, there is a slight hitch, witch effects me personally. At our organizational meeting last night, I was informed that since we made costumes mandatory for the kids, that the adults must come in costume too.

UGGH! Are you kidding me?? I'm too old for this crap. Really.

I have no more desire to show up in costume, than I do to get a Barium Enema. Can't I just write a check or something??? (sorry, did I just write that out loud?)
I was wracking my brain last night trying to figure out how I could get dressed up in costume without really getting dressed up in costume. The best I could come up with is I would dress as a hippie/flower child wearing my tye dye shirt that has big bell sleeves and put a peace sign headband around my forehead.
Lame, I know.
So I ask you today to give me some suggestions for a costume that allows me to be dressed up without really being dressed up. Be creative, but the goal here is to not put much effort into the actual costume, and a no-effort costume idea for me and My Guy would be acceptable too.
Give me your best bloggers, because you are just about the smartest people I know!! And thanks.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Scenes from a bonfire

EXT. BACKYARD BONFIRE-10pm

Male HOST sits at a backyard bonfire on a crisp autum night with his two guests. GUEST 1 and GUEST 2 are young people in a committed relationship. GUEST 1 is a male and GUEST 2 is a female. GUEST 2 is making smores over the CRACKLING fire, the marshmallow still melting amongst the flames.


HOST: Tonight marks the first time I have allowed my 12 year old son to go trick-or-treating with a group of his friends without parental supervision.

GUEST 1: (Leaning into GUEST 2) Man, when I was 12 on Halloween, I remember getting my first kiss with Debbie Simpson in the back of my best friends garage. Yeah, that's what I was doing at 12 without my parent's supervision.

GUEST 2: (Looking straight into GUEST 1's eyes) Debbie Simpson? That's the name of the first girl I ever kissed too!

Momentary SILENCE as GUEST 1 and GUEST 2, intensley hold each other's stares.

Robust LAUGHTER ensues.

Crack-cakes and other things that go bump in the night.


In the spirit of Halloween and things that go bump in the night, I relay a real story with real characters that go bump in the night.
My girlfriend came over to my house on Tuesday to do some laundry. (she has no washer/dryer) While we were waiting around for the clothes to dry, I suggested we make some cupcakes. ( I'm back on the "crack-cakes" as I call them. They are soo good, I swear they are just like crack-can't just have one. Definitely fodder for a future post; with a recipe) So we whipped up about 2 and a half dozen of cakes, she finished her laundry and went on her way, crack-cakes in hand. Yesterday, while talking to her on the phone, I asked her if there were any cup-cakes left at her house.
She replied, "I had to take what was left into work. I have been eating them in the middle of the night."
To which I responded, "Are you still night eating?"
I had to laugh. She has been telling me for a few years now how she thinks she eats in the middle of the night. She has no recollection of the actual act of eating, but wakes up occasionally with gummi bears clenched in her hands or with wrappers strewn about the kitchen counter that weren't there when she went to bed. Once, she was having a conversation in the morning with her boyfriend when he suddenly asked, "What the hell is all over your mouth?" When she went to the mirror to inspect, she found dark, chocolate rings around the corners of her mouth from what she later deduced had been from night-eating more than one ice cream sandwich.
I know it is terrible to laugh because apparently this is a real affliction that affects 1 to 2% of the population. But I couldn't help but think it hilarious- shame on me. I have even seen this on Oprah or Dr. Phil once or twice, so I cannot claim ignorance on the subject.

According to Albert Stunkard, MD, of the University of Pennsylvania’s Weight & Eating Disorders Program, "People who fall prey to this syndrome are not simply indulging in a bad habit. They have a real clinical illness, reflected by changes in hormone levels.” Night eating syndrome, as it is called,was first described in 1955 but has only been recognized by the medical community since 1999. Wikipedia states, " to be considered a bona fide disorder, this pattern should continue for two months or more." Research also suggests that night eaters also have a preference for carbohydrates, which trigger "feel-good" neuro-chemical production in the brain. The theory is that it is an unconscious attempt to "self-medicate mood problems and relieve stress."
Apparently she has gained a few pounds over the past couple of years, but nothing alarming as her night-eating episodes are few and far between. Thank goodness for her.
So on this All Hallows Eve, when night has fallen and the house is quiet, except for a thump from the kitchen. Beware... it could be your, spouse, significant other, or roommate indulging in a little self medication. Happy Halloween.


ps-this picture is of my little pug, Jingles. Her expression reminds me of that famous 70's quote from a bumper sticker, "I'm so happy I could just S--T"