Destination Vacation

Destination on the Magical Mystery Tour Part 3???

Key West, Florida!! It was an amazing weekend with lots and lots of sun, fun and the usual debauchery that comes along with being part of the Toxic Trio. A quick recap?
Thursday night, we arrived around 7PM after a day of flying and immediately had dinner in the hotel restaurant which is situated on the beach at the southernmost point of the state! Key West just happens to be 90 miles from Cuba, and is indeed the farthest south you can get in the USA. The Southernmost is also the name of our hotel! The thing about Key West is that even though you are in Florida, you really don't feel like you are in Florida. Key West has this awesome island feel that makes you believe that you are somewhere in the Caribbean.

The pool bar just to the left in that photo was our next destination on Thursday night, and we closed out the evening in perfect Trio fashion: cocktails, friends, photos and fun! Friday was a spectacular day, weather wise, it was in the high 80's and we spent the day at the pool relaxing and making merry. The sun was strong and hot and we got plenty of sun kissed color on our bodies. We had arranged a sunset booze cruise, so we told the Trio to be ready by 5:45.

After some Pirate photo ops-complete with earrings and eye patches, we boarded the boat. The band on board was the first indication of the next two hours of fun and safe to say that the Trio ladies hijacked the boat and held court on the dance floor! We held a limbo contest and even dressed other people up as pirates with our props. Some people even thought that we worked for the cruise company! The scenery was perfection and the sunset didn't disappoint! We left the boat and retired to dinner on world famous Duvall Street. (remember the clue:Robert Duvall?) So many bars, restaurants to choose from, we chose outdoor dining and engaged in people watching for the rest of the evening.

Saturday was another gorgeous beach day and the guys managed to find a new obsession: Wallhooky!
Who would have thought the men could find so much fun with a hook, a brass ring and a piece of string? We then rented an electric car that seated six, perfect for the Trio and we were off to explore the island.

First stop was lunch at El Siboney Cuban restaurant for the locals favorite and then off to the Hemingway House. Earnest Hemingway was a very famous Key West resident whose home has been turned into a museum of sorts, and we toured the old home complete with the many cats that reside there. FUN FACT: the many cats that roam the property freely are direct descendants of Earnest Hemingway's first cat, Snowball, that was given to him by a Massachusetts fisherman decades ago. Hemingway was a complete dog-we found out-as he was married 4 time in his life, seemingly to women his wives had introduced him to. We had a wonderful dinner at Louie's Backyard, which is smack dab on the beach. The fine dining was some of the best food we experienced on the island and the atmosphere was incredible!

Sunday funday was another great beach day! The Trio spent the day playing Wallhooky with the world famous champion, Barcode-who was touring the coast trying to promote the sport. It was Sunday Funday for sure because the Trio got very tipsy spending quality time at the pool bar with Barcode and the boys and almost missed our dinner. We made it of course, and because it was our last night we just HAD to experience some Duvall Street night life and we chose, of course, Sloppy Joes, as our final destination for Key West night life.

Sloppy Joe's is a historic bar in Key West and its most famous patron was Earnest Hemingway himself!
The drinks and the music were flowing freely by the time we got there and I'm not quite sure we ever left the dance floor! The band was awesome, the patrons were just as crazy as one would have thought they would be in Key West and we danced until the wee hours in the morning.

Monday reluctantly came and the Trio boarded the plane to head back home, but not without heavy hearts.
We were just grateful that no one came home from vacation on probation..

The Reluctant Vacartion

Ok, so I just got back from Florida.

I was there for 15 days!! And before you bemoan what a complete b*tch I am for complaining about being in Florida during the snowiest spate of weather MA has ever seen, understand that it wasn't the most convenient or comfortable for me. Get this-three canceled flights! Yes, I swear three of my scheduled flights home were cancelled due to snow. I was lucky enough to have a place to stay, and I got a bonus vacation to boot, but I own my own business and I was very anxious to get back.

So here I am and don't you just love the first day back? Not really.

• Piles of mail at home and at work. Nothing is more anxiety inducing that a big, tall pile of unopened mail. It makes me feel like the little girl who slept through the final exam!
• So many invoices for product! And all that accounting?? I need to make lists of priority and take it slow-otherwise I will have a full on anxiety attack.
• Piles of laundry! Not really. I was fortunate enough to take home 100% clean laundry. Thank God for small miracles. Nonetheless I have piles of clothes to put away.
• Ice dams-if you don't like in New England you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Ice dams are when snow fall after snow fall after snow fall collects on the roof of your home. Ice forms on the roof which when you mix that with the heat from the inside of your home, it causes the most incredible water damage that is sneaky and crazy. 

But rest assured, there is some comfort in the fact that I am back.
On the contrary, there's the satisfaction of crossing all those crazy things off the list and feeling like you are accomplishing something. Seeing my dog's face after 15 days made my heart sing! There is the warmth of the fire and relaxing under my favorite blanket with my dog at my feet and of course, my own bed! I missed my own bed.

Going away for a "surprise" vacation was great, but if you had told me before I left that I would be gone for two weeks I would have said your were outta your FREAKIN mind! I would have said no way-nada-not happening. Yet it did happen, and if I tried to duplicate it again next year it would never be as spontaneous. So this one will go down in the history books as reluctant, yet special nonetheless.

Things That Go Bump In the Night

So I just flew back home last night from sunny Florida. It was a great break from the snow and cold and a welcome opportunity to unplug from the outside world. We stretched it out to the last possible minute too, leaving on a 7:20 PM flight home. Flying Jet Blue is a joy, usually. They have it all figured out. The TV's on board make the entire trip a breeze and I didn't have to miss a moment of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills! Lucky me!!!What wasn't lucky was the decent down into Boston. Holy turbulence, and I mean HOLY! It started out innocent enough.

The pilot explained to us that we were beginning our descent into Boston and "would be landing shortly, so please fasten your seat belts and flight attendants please prepare for landing." Everyone did as they were told and we settled in for our descent. The plane began to shake and drop, which is normal for the change in altitude. As we looked out the window I noticed the descent into the clouds outside my window. Turbulent air seems normal for that, I thought. But when the plane continued to shake and drop, and drop and twist and drop, and the clouds had gone I thought this wasn't very normal.

"Ooohhh", the groans collectively could be heard throughout the plane and with each twist and turn the taste of the blue chips I had eaten a mere hour before began to rise in my throat. I looked at Frack, he looked at me. I looked at My Guy, he tried to contain his composure focusing on the screen in front of him. I looked at my mom, she was gripping her arm rest and she looked at me with a quizzical look, her normally bright complexion gone ashen. I looked around me. No one was smiling. As a matter of fact, almost everyone was gripping their arm rest tight with ashen complexions too.

It seemed as if the bumpy air was never going to stop and just when it subsided a bit, the plane would sharply twist around immediately putting my stomach contents back into my throat. Outside the window the city lights below us looked to be on auto-loop with the scenery barely changing. Then the violent shakes began and the people on the plane again groaned with despair. Me included! Holy....I shut my eyes so I wouldn't hurl and I tried to be strong for my family. Big drops and more shakes were felt throughout and just when I decided I could no longer take another second of it, I noticed the city lights getting bigger, closer. I finally held out hope that we just may land this plane.

After another 5 minutes of dropping and shaking we hit the ground with a resounding bang! Everyone's heads snapped forward but the sound of overwhelming applause and cheers drowned out my huge sigh of relief. It took us a good 3 minutes to compose ourselves when Frack spoke.
"Mom, I swear to God I was saying the 'Our Father' the entire time."
I agreed with him and tried to calm the nausea that took over my body.

Entirely drained and slightly sick, we left that plane quicker than the flight attendant could finish her announcements. You never saw so many green faces standing in baggage claim. And funny....

I overheard someone at baggage claim say that the pilot never opened his door to exit till the plane was completely empty.

Wiggle It, Just A Little Bit

And the winner is.......Miami's Fontaineblue Hotel and Happy Mommy! 

And it did not disappoint! We arrived Friday afternoon to pouring rain and lots of excitement. Of course a little rain never never held back this group, and we quickly had lunch, unpacked and went down to the lobby to explore our new surroundings. In hindsight, I should have realized that a lobby that has a huge bar, complete with a light up disco floor in the larger portion of the lobby was there for a distinct reason, but in my "just arrived" excitement I hardly noticed.We had a few drinks then went off to the first destination, Mr. Chow in the W Hotel. 

Is everything in Miami a "scene"? I'm not complaining, because I seemed right at home in the nightclub atmosphere of the Asian Fusion  famous chain restaurant. The food was outstanding, the wait staff amazing and the atmosphere was fun and young, but a bit loud for an intimate dinner if that's what you are looking for. But that's not what this group was looking for. This group was ready for a little party. I said little right? 

All of that was fine and well, but the real heartbeat of Miami and our trip was yet to come. We had no idea what we were about to encounter. Now, I had been to Miami before, but I brought the children last time and we enjoyed the famous South Beach in a different way. This time it was from an entirely new perspective. The Fontaineblue has a unique vibe and by unique I mean after dark it turns into something completely UNBELIEVABLE. (Heff and Bama, save your pennies, cuz this place is your kind of vacation!)

After Mr. Chow, we arrived at the front of the Fontaineblue among what looked like lots and lots of young people. Did I mention lots? and we sort of looked at each other like, "What's going on here?" 

WHAT WAS GOING ON? Hundreds, and I'm not kidding you when I say hundreds, of scantily clad young women and men had descended upon the lobby of our hotel. Scantily clad being the operative words here. One young lady was more "naked" than the next and it was then that we decided that this "show" was so much better than anything we would have paid admission for. 

For the next two to three hours, we sat at the lobby bar and had what was the best part of the trip: the people watch. The Fontaineblue has a famous four story night club called LIV and no we didn't go into it, but believe me when I tell you, we didn't need to. The line to get into LIV starts forming early in the evening and never stops. The club opens at 11:30 and closes at 5:30 am, but the real show is what takes place outside the club in the expansive lobby. 

Jiggle and wiggle were jiggling and wiggling all over the place and I'm sure jiggle did not know what wiggle was up to. Boobs, butt and legs were on display in every size, shape, color and creed and even the fat ones looked gorgeous. I swear. It was hilarious and us newbies did not know where to look next. The entertainment was endless. The best part were the dresses..or lack of and the high heels. Judging by the height of the high heels and the length of the dresses, (strategically just above the coochie area, was the average) you would have SWORE there was a stripper convention going on at that hotel, and not the medical convention that was taking place in another part of the hotel. 

That scene was only topped by the scene at the hotel pool the next day. Really, that scene was much better if  I ever believed that could happen. I never have seen more bikini's, boobs and big heels at a beach destination. Skin was a pre-requisite and if you weren't showing lots skin, you were the one who was looking uncomfortable. God bless them, they were out in full force at the pool too. What a scene. 

We saw much more on our ventures up to Ocean Drive. That's where the late great Gianni Versace was brutally murdered on his front steps in 1997. His palatial private residence is now a private club complete with a restaurant, but you can't walk by there without stopping to ponder the sad shame of his untimely murder.  On our trek further down we caught a full on Drag Queen show that was amazing! We didn't even need to go into the bar that was hosting it, this one was right on the street for all to enjoy! Some of the most beautiful transgendered men/women I ever had the pleasure of judging with my applause. It was at The Clevlander, a few crazy blocks down, that we saw first hand the art of naked body painting and pole dancing right on the street!!! In full on view of everyone. The point here is, if you can't beat em', join em', so we sat and had a few jovial cocktails and enjoyed yet another show. 

All in all, the endless skin show was a blast, and the trip a huge success, but the greatest thing of all was the great time spent with great friends. Like the name of the famous night club in the Fontainebleu, it makes you want to LIV your life to the fullest. Miami beach is one of those places that really enjoys life. 

And a life like that is certainly worth living every once in a while.

Back In Business

It's good to be back. As much as it's good to go, it's also wonderful to be back in business. I always need a day to come back to earth after a vacation of too much drinking, relaxing, eating and fun and today will be no exception. I did some boating, had breakfast on Martha's Vineyard, ate some fried clams and snuck in some much needed beach time. And now it's over and it's time to get back in business.

I want to give a BIG BIRTHDAY blogger shout out to my girl Frack who will turn 17 tomorrow. Where did the time go? I can hardly believe it. Not a baby anymore, but not quite an adult either and already 17. WOW.

How was your week bloggers? Did you miss me? Did you enjoy the summer weather? I certainly missed all of you.

It's back to business over here at The Daily Dandy. Have a great weekend.

Monday, Monday

It's a Monday welcome back and I hope all my blogger buddies had a great Easter Sunday!

It's always difficult getting back into the groove, and since I hosted my family yesterday, I'm exhausted!!

So here's a few tidbits I threw together for Monday:

• Finally, some Red Sox wins!! Yay! It's about time fellas, let's keep it going. And a Celtics sweep. So what if it's the lowly Knicks, we beat Carmelo and I say bring it to the boys of Miami! And what about those Bruins? Instead of being on the brink of elimination, they are one game away from winning the series.



• The weather is slowly getting good. I think we might have reached in the high 70's yesterday. Rejoice!



• After a stellar week of sun, fun and some R&R, I rewarded myself with a feast of bounty yesterday. It was sooo good.



• I'm all caught up on my Nurse Jackie episodes and all set to watch tonite! That bitch is crazee!



• Gotta do inventory this week., UGH.



• Frack gave up soda for lent and I swear he practically took a bath in it yesterday.



• Been using a great product to extend my Florida tan a bit. Model Co. Tan Extender. It's a fabulous, gradual self tan product that actually gives your already sun tanned skin a glow and nourishes and tones the skin. I recommend you use it alone or when you are already tan. It works gradually and will not streak. Good stuff, and yes, it is available at The Candy Bar.



• I reconnected with that Blogger/Twitter extraordinaire, Dr. Zibbs, over the week. Seems he's a Twittering big shot now. So great to talk to him, that Zibsy sure is crazee and it's nice to know he's still at the top of his game.

So that's it for now bloggers. I hope you are all having a good Monday.

Re-entry Into The Earth's Atmosphere

I'm back and just adjusting to re-entry of the atmosphere of my life. These are just a few of my observations:

• When did Charlie Sheen decide he needed a press tour? As weird and unconventional as this latest media barrage is, I can't help but think this whole thing has been carefully orchestrated. Bizarre, yes. Stupid? I don't think so. I'm beginning to think that the guy is a real genius.

• Somehow, the fact that it snowed 4 or 5 inches the night I arrived home didn't seem to bother me one bit.

• Jet Blue totally has it figured out. I mean, everyone is created equal (no coach or first class), and they give you your own TV. I had all this work I brought with me with every intention of doing it quietly on the plane. That was until A&E had a Hoarders marathon on. So much for getting any work done. 3 and a half hours of Hoarders sure beats the hell out of work in my book.

• The Oscars were boring, but the fashions were not. The shot of Gwenneth above was my favorite dress of the night. I loved Juliana Rancic's dress also, which was designed by Christian Siriano, the Season four winner of Project Runway. So fierce.. I thought Scarlett Johanssen looked like a whore. Sorry.

• So I was watching the E Channel a few hours before the Oscar telecast and they had this whole fashion theme going on. They had all these people on I didn't know talking about fashion, and here's the thing: When did the Kardashians become experts on fashion? Kris Jenner was on hand as a fashion "expert"and, they had the two youngest ones filming in big sister Klohe's closet. Klohe later tweeted, which was scrolled across the screen, "Kendall and Kylie in my closet. How about asking me first? lol" Something tells me Klohe Kardashian knows when the E crews are filming in her closet. Puh-lease.

• Ryan Seacrest is a bigger star than some of the people he interviewed on the red carpet last night. Awkward.

• I'd really like Colin Firth to read me a bedtime story. Does the fact that he won an Oscar mean that I'd have to pay him the big bucks to do it now?

• Now that the Oscars are over, does this mean that the powers that be will stop shoving Natalie Portman down my throat. And I'm a fan, believe it or not.

Behind The Eight Ball

Going away for an extended period is always a great thing. It's when you return from an extended vacation that usually leaves one with that behind the eight ball feeling . Kind of like when the astronauts re-enter the earth's atmosphere after space flight, there are a few days of re-adjustment.

Of course, while this cat was away, the little mice certainly did play and Mr. Murphy's Law decided to throw his two cents in too, but nothing I can't ultimately handle. Thank God.

As we tackle the enormous pile of mail that has stacked up while away, and try to fix all the snafu's that occurred, we do so with a renewed energy and a desire to return to the normal pace of everyday life. Vacation was wonderful, but real life waits for no one.

A quick re-cap:

• Florida was COLD. Plain and simple. Good thing that I brought two pairs of jeans and a scarf, because I ended up wearing them the whole time. I never EVER once, wore shorts.
• Disney, while still the most magical place on earth, somehow seems to have lost it's edge. It's not as clean or amazing as it always has been to me. I also feel like it hasn't changed one little bit since I was there two years ago. The parks were crowded, but the staff seemed overwhelmed and not able to handle the crowds. A sure sign that even The Mouse has fallen victim of bad economic times.
• Something exciting happened while at Disney, which I will share with you tomorrow.
• I thought about Cora's daughter Gwen a lot. Not that I'm creepy, but Disney owns "The Nightmare Before Christmas", and there was paraphernalia from the movie all over the place. Hat's, vests, dolls, pencils, books, etc, and people had their faces painted to look like Jack. Every time I saw someone, I couldn't help think that Gwen would be in hog heaven! Note to Cora and Scope: you need to take her there, if you already haven't.
• Of course, while I was gone, my computer at The Candy Bar pulled a hissy. It was one of those problems that only I can fix and had to be shut down for TWO DAYS. I am STILL working on it as we speak. Technological reinforcements come today.
• My Guy, (bless his little soul) had the carpets cleaned while we were gone as a surprise to me, but Mr. Murphy's Law jumped in and said, "not so fast". Let's just say that new carpets are in my very near future.
• The dogs hardly cared that we were home. It was almost like they hardly noticed we were gone.

All in all, it was a great trip, but being home puts the term "home sweet home" into a new perspective for me.

Do I get a "do over"?

Back To Business

*heavy sigh*

Back to business as usual.

• Thank goodness the summer has finally arrived here in the East, because its about time. At least we will have one month of a warm summer. Lucky us!


• IHop announces that kids eat free for a MONTH. Too bad I haven't seen an IHop in my area since 1977.


• Tiger Woods-defeated for the first time in nine years in a major tournament when leading the field. If you're Y.E. Yang today, life is good.....


• Did you see the picture of the couple with the squirrel? Of course the skeptics are questioning the authenticity of the shot, but OMG, is that squirrel the cutest thing you have ever seen?? He could be the next Susan Boyle of the critter world.


• We are just a few short weeks away from the start of the NFL season. Thank you JESUS. I still need to sign up for Fantasy Football. I figure we will engage in Fantasy Football Friday's here on The Dandy. Whatcha think?


• I'm in NYC for the International Gift Show for one day today. Keep your little fingers crossed that I get done everything that I need to do in one day. Thanks.


• We ate at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill last night after I got off the train. Let's just say while the food was good, mine was cold (and I'm NOT a "sender backer") but had to send back my entree, because it was that cold. Then they comped us dessert, which was a heavenly coconut cake, then took a ridiculously long time getting us the check. It ruined the entire night.


• Speaking of "food sender backers", I think we will discuss this topic in depth tomorrow.

Yup, it seems to be business as usual today. I'll check in later bloggers!