Miss 'Merica

So our newly crowned Miss America thinks that Tom Brady is a cheater? Actually-she said that she thought that My Tommy was a cheater if there was a question, but the media blew that way out of context. What she did say when asked if Brady should be held accountable for deflating footballs was,

"Did he cheat? That’s a really good question, I’m not sure," Miss Georgia, 21, replied. "I think I’d have to be there to see the ball and to feel it to make sure if it was deflated or not deflated, but if there was any question there then yes, I think he cheated. If there was any question to be had I think that he definitely cheated and he should have been suspended for that. That’s not fair."

The social media backlash was not kind. Dumb? Maybe, but Miss America 2015 Betty Cantrell's answer is not the dumbest thing a beauty pageant contestant has ever said. 

Here are some of the greatest highlights over the years:

Jeanie Anderson, Miss Philippines 2001

Question: "If you could be beautiful and not so smart, or brilliant and not so beautiful, what would you be and why?"
Answer: "Well, I'd rather choose to be beautiful, um because, to be beautiful it's natural. But being smart you can learn...you can learn, um a lot of things...a lot of things from the experience...you can learn from a lot of things being smart."

Smart..not her strong suit. 

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007

Question: "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"
Answer: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children".

Poor thing. She will never-and I mean never-live that down. 

 Miss Venezuela Irene Sofia Esser Quintero at Miss Universe 2012
Question: "If you could make a new law, what would it be? And explain why."
Answer: "I think that any leys (read laws) there are in Constitution or in life, are already made. I think that we should have, uh, a straight way to go in our similar, or, eh, in our lives as is this. For example, I'm a surfer, and I think that the best wave that I can take is the wave that I wait for it. So please do our only, eh, law that we can do. Thank you, Vegas!"

Talk about hanging loose...

We don't know when or where this Junior Miss pageant occurred, but when asked, "What is the most important event in our nation's history?" she responded, "In my opinion, Pearl Harbor, which occurred on December 7, 1941, is the most significant event in our nation's history because…because it ended the Great Depression and it forced them into the World War II…and…our country experienced patriotism and unity." At least she got the date right.

And I'm sure she was very proud of her AT LEAST coherent answer, though not accurate. 

Melissa Powell, Miss Utah 2013

She was asked about how women are continuing to earn less than men in America, and what she thinks that means for our society.

"How to create jobs right now, that is the biggest problem right now, and I think especially the men are seen as leaders of this and so we need to figure out how to create education better so we can solve this problem," Powell answered.

I have to cut these ladies at least a little slack. These are some serious high pressure situations and let's face it, they are not on that stage to "change the world" with their minds. But they know they are going to be asked a question involving current events, so it might help to pick up a newspaper once in  while. 

Or squeeze a football....  

Friday Funny

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!" 

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker." Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car" he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" 

The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber." I have to laugh every time I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least 5 boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!" 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/random/blonde411.html

The Thief Among us

So I go into my favorite little gas station/variety store this morning and I see the owner behind the counter. He and I are on a first name basis and we exchange pleasantries. After a few moments of this and that, I ask him where "Bobby" is?

Now "Bobby" is the regular attendant who, for the past 5-6 years, has been faithfully behind the counter at the convenience stop. Close to my home, the gas/convenience store is a place that my entire family uses for gas, lotto, scratch tickets, milk, eggs, etc. on our way to and from home.  "Bobby" if you remember, was the guy that told me the story of what turned out to be one of The Daily Dandy's most popular posts entitled, "Desperately Dirty Housewives." We knew about his new baby, his wife and I even knew him before he got married three years ago, when he was a single guy looking for fun.

So, this morning, it was a natural response to walk into the store and inquire about "Bobby." The owner of the shop replies, "Bobby" stole a large sum of money from my safe, lottery tickets and cash from the register and fled the country."

"Huh?" I blinked. More than once.

"Are you kidding me?" I said. He wasn't kidding. A couple of days ago "Bobby" never showed up for work. The owner called all over looking for him. He called his wife, his friends but no one knew where "Bobby" was. Then, hours later the owner got a call on his cell phone from a strange number. He answered it and it was "Bobby" who was rude and told him that he stole money and that he was in another country and that he was never coming back.

"It was almost like a F-you, you suck," the store owner said. "Thanks for everything."

He then told me that he had taken....get this, the CUSTOMERS for money. What? I couldn't believe it so I questioned him further. He told me that "Bobby" turned on the water works and gave an Oscar worthy, good guy, down on his luck, performance to some of the regulars. "So are you saying they just, like, cut him a check, right there on the spot?" I asked.

Evidently people are that stupid, or generous, or whatever you want to call it. I can't say I might not have fallen for it if he had asked me, because "Bobby" was someone I felt like I knew. In a small way, yet I thought I knew who he was, enough to believe him if he said he was in trouble. That's the thing, you think you know someone and then you find out you don't know them at all.

So here's the question:
Does that make you stupid?
or
Does that make the other person a deviant genius?

I've often posed that question to myself.

Beantown Smackdown

I want to forget about Sunday as much as the next guy here in Boston, but it just won't go away.

And now Giselle, aka Mrs Brady, is under BIG fire for her post-Super Bowl expletive-laden rant aimed at Tommy's boys on her way out of her luxury box at Lucas Oil stadium immediately following the Patriots loss to the Giants.

Here's what I think: Thank God it wasn't me, because if it was, it would have been far worse.

If you haven't seen it already on all the trash TV shows, Giselle was being heckled by some obnoxious butt heads immediately following the loss, on her way out of the luxury box. They were shouting things like, " Eli rules!" and "Eli owns your husband!"

So what does Gi do?

She fires back while standing in front of the elevator to go down, in her thick Brazilian accent, " My husband cannot fu*king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time." and "I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times." She ripped the team. Big no-no. Now Tom and Gi have a huge loss AND a PR mess to deal with.

Ok, so she ripped Welker and Hernandez and all the boys who work hard to make Her Tommy look good all season long, but she was mad as hell and provoked and somewhat right.....I guess when you are making 50 Mil a year in your underwear,and you are married to a genetically gifted man and have the world by the financial kahunas, you can't be forgiven of an extremely emotional moment; however foolish.

Hell, you should have heard all the names WE were calling them. It wasn't pretty and there were young kids around and no, we're not proud of it. If it were me, (in a dream) it might have been far worse. Not only would I have thrown back some choice expletives, but I might have played dirty pool and I can't say that I would not have responded, had I been her. Nope, I would have let them have it too. And a lot LOUDER. This I know for sure. I might have even lost some endorsement money and been in a bigger mess than Gi is right now. Emotions, at that time, were raw.

I guess when you have the world by the proverbial balls and your look like her, there is no crying in football. Not even if your soul mate just lost on the biggest stage there is, AGAIN. Not even when some heckling asshole, rips your heart out after the Giants just stomped all over it. Nope, the rules are different for her. She is expected to just shut her mouth and look pretty because that would have been the classy thing to do. Show no emotion. Well, who ever went on record and said that Giselle had class?

Again, good thing it wasn't me. I might have started a riot right there in the lobby of the luxury boxes at Lucas Oil Stadium. Just sayin.

Daily Dribble

Hey Bloogers! How was the weekend??? Today's dribble is brought to you by my messed up mind and all it's workings. It's just a sampling of the mindless crap that was running through my mind today.

• I watched "Face The Nation" yesterday for the first time, ever. Not light and airy programming, but compelling nonetheless. The back and forth of partisan politics was almost amusing, although I can't say I didn't learn something and that my time was not well spent.

• My Tommy and his bride Giselle were just voted the richest couple by Forbes Magazine at $76 million a year. Really? Do these two have it all or what? They beat out Beyonce and Jay-z who came in second at $72 million. Dang, If you told me that My Tommy shits unicorns and rainbows I might just believe you. He better sprinkle some of that magic dust onto the fields of Gillete Stadium and bring us home the hardware this season.....Bit*h.

• I went to my girlfriend's fab house on Sat nite. We had the most fantastic dinner on their roof top overlooking the city of Boston. She served so much good food; steamed lobsters, Caprese salad with 3 different tomatoes and other wonderful cuisine. Her dessert would have put old Martha Stewart herself to shame. Picture this: simple and delicious orange bread, smothered in whole blueberries (not crushed), served with a blueberry sauce, if you so chose. I sat with 5 of my best friends that night and just enjoyed life.

• I will have been married one full year next Sunday. Time sure flies when you are having fun and I'm loving it.

• Even though the end of August is fast approaching, I'm not going to panic. There is still plenty more of it and I intend to stop and enjoy what's left of the heat of summer. September is a great month in New England too. I can't even look at the fall fashions in the stores right now. It just doesn't seem right. It's like they retailers are pushing the end of the season for their gain. Well I'm not having any of it. None.

Have a great Monday bloggers and keep summer in your heart.

Stick A Fork In Him

So I just don't get this.

Chris Brown, who pleaded guilty in 2009 to assaulting then girlfriend Rhianna, apparently had a major melt down in his dressing room at the New York studios of Good Morning America yesterday. Brown, who spent the last two years apologizing and keeping out of trouble since he took a huge hit (no pun intended) in his career from the fallout of the Rhianna incident, was on the morning show to promote his new album.

GMA anchor Robin Roberts asked him about whether or not he has moved on from the incident with Rhianna, and Brown, clearly bothered by this, spent the next two minutes trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Rhianna and onto his new album. After his GMA performance, Brown then stormed his dressing room and trashed it. He then threw a chair into a window smashing glass onto the streets of Times Square below, ripped off his shirt and was photographed leaving the GMA set in a fury.

Do you think this kid has a serious anger management problem? Word has it that Brown was aware that he would be questioned about the infamous 2009 incident, yet he couldn't control his rage and successfully erased all the work he had done in the past two years rehabbing his image. For what? Because a TV journalist pissed him off? Hey, we all get pissed off, but we go home and throw chairs through windows, not in the headquarters of the powers that be. No amount of remorse can erase this one. So what if he patiently signed autographs for fans hours later on the streets of New York. The kid successfully put the word PROBLEM between his first and last name.

What the hell? Just when it was safe to come out from the shadows and eat some proverbial crow saying he was sorry for his behavior, he revealed to the masses who he really is. First time shame on me. Second time, shame on you.

Shame on you Chris Brown. Dude, seriously? You just blew it, again. Looks like you're just a punk with an anger management problem and not much else. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this one. I think you have successfully stuck the fork in yourself, cuz dude, you're all done.