Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloweenie

Spooks and kooks abound, this is the weekend for the crazee's to hit the streets because for one weekend only, it's a prerequsite to let your freak flag fly!! (imagine what those crazees at Wal Mart are going to do??)

I am NOT dressing up for Halloween. I figure I'm freaky enough without any help from some elaborate costume, but I will be at the 50 yard line come All Hallows Eve, watching My Tommy kick the crap out of Brett "I didn't text that woman a picture of my penis" Favre and Randy Moss. Oh what a joy!
The picture above is of my kitchen table, today! I'm so fricken rock and roll...I can't stand it!!!!

Must be the new hair.....

Happy Halloween Bloggers!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Who's That Girl?

So yesterday I did something COMPLETELY out of character for me.

I drastically and pre-calculated-ly altered my look. I cut my long, down to the middle of my back, light, golden blonde hair to shoulder length AND, I dyed it brunette.

I shocked the shit out of every one but My Guy, because I discussed it with him first. It was a laugh out loud riot, witnessing the people in my world's reactions to the new me and I must say I keep thinking, "Who's that girl?" every time I look in the mirror. I like it, this chocolate brown me, and I think everyone else does too. It makes me look so much younger.

I haven't changed the color of my hair in years. Come to think of it, the last time I changed the color of my hair, my husband left me (not the one I'm married to now) so I'm thinking that it was a pretty ballsy move. And empowering. I feel stronger in a strange sort of way. My kids were flabbergasted at first, looking at me with eyes wide open and a half crooked smile on their shocked faces. Strange as this sounds, I feel like they are proud of me for doing it. Proud that I was not afraid to go against the norm and try something new. Proud that I'm not all long, blond hair anymore. Proud that maybe I am so much more than just my hair.

See what happens when you empower yourself with something as simple as a change in your look? You even sound different. So I'll ride this empowerment wave for a while and I'll enjoy it. But I know I'll creep back into blonde land eventually. It will start slowly, with a few light highlights to enhance the chocolate locks. Then the highlights will get lighter and lighter and before I know it, I will be a golden blonde again and by then my hair will have grown to the middle of my back again. And I'll be the old me again. Once you go blonde it becomes a part of you, for life.

But I like this new me and right now so does everybody else. It's kind of exciting. It's like looking in the mirror at a new person and sort of like My Guy is sleeping with some exotic brunette every night. And when the people in my inner circle, see me for the first time, and ask themselves, "Who's that girl?".

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Oh, The Horror

I must admit, here and now......

I have never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I know. You're shocked. Someone as well read, sophisticated and cutting edge as myself, (insert chuckle here) having never experienced the cult classic, Rocky Horror Picture Show. But I have not, so I was more than looking forward to the Glee interpretation of the show.

Slightly disappointed and majorly confused is how I felt about Rocky Horror after last night's Glee episode. What last night was really about had more to do with Emma and Mr Shuester and less about Rocky Horror.

I don't live under a rock, so I have seen a few bits and pieces of the show here and there and I have seen images from the original. I will say that the Glee casting was great and that more than a couple of the musical numbers were entertaining. The shows open had me mesmerized. Those lips....Was that Quinn? I'm thinking the lips belonged to Quinn (Diana Argon) so anyone else want to venture a guess here, be my guest.

Rachel and Finn were cast in the lead roles of Janet Weiss and Brad Majors and the casting of the rest of the show scattered among the Glee club aside, Emma's new boyfriend Carl, (John Stamos) as Eddie, decked out from head to toe in leather singing was NOT a complete waste of my time, to say the least. "Whatever Happened to Saturday Night", was performed to perfection with the rest of the Glee club joining in, left me thinking it's no wonder Will is worried about Emma and Carl. These two have chemistry, and Will is beginning to feel that Carl is "winning" by making Emma a better person. She even left the crusts on her sandwich. Shocking.

Sam, cast in the part of Rocky, is a complete no brainer and he wins the award for the best one liners of the night; describing his shirtless, gold mini-shorts costume as "abulous" and the classic, "Can I get some longer shorts? I'm afraid I'm going to show some 'nuttage'." Sue is up to no good, planning an expose of the show for TV. The idea was piched to her by Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick, in a nod to the original cast members of the movie. The basis of the expose is that the show's content is far too racy for high school, but Shue won't admit to anyone, including himself that he is pushing the limits for Emma.

Shue decides that maybe the show is a little too risque, and that Sam seemed out of his comfort zone, so he tells Emma that he will now be playing Rocky and that he needs her to rehearse 'Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me'. She agrees and needless to say it's quite steamy and
Emma and Shue almost kiss....
*note to producers: Matthew Morrison is a HOT hunk of man...If you are going to flash us that ABULOUS body of his, please...wax the hair from his chest. thank you.*

Finn, freaking out about having to do a scene in his underwear, decides that he's going to walk through the halls of McKinnley High wearing nothing but boxer shorts to try and embrace his sexy-ness. He almost gets suspended. And can someone please tell me when Finn is going to haul off and punch out one of those bulling football jocks, who are always giving him shit about being in Glee club? I'd REALLY like to see that happen soon, considering he's about 3 or four inches taller and could take both of them in a fight, I'm sure...just saying.

In the end, after Mr. Shue finds out about Sue's TV expose, Mr. Shue realizes that he is putting the school, the kids and his reputation on the line for Emma. He tells her he is canceling the show and admits that he only did it to get closer to her. He drops the classic and cheesey, "If I really love you I need to back off and accept the fact that, at least for now, being with him is the best thing for you."

And I am left with burnt toast.
Maybe I'll take it with me when I go to a REAL showing of the movie. I think I need to do it and soon, otherwise I'll loose my theater geek credentials.

I'll leave you with this, which was my download choice of the night and a song even I have heard before. Not bad for a bunch of misfits....which is really what the Rocky Horror Picture show is really all about.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Halloween Hoax

Ok, so they can just call it now. Call it for what it is, already, a hoax.

Cmon, I question whether these two are even real, let alone married. She's a pop princess, second only to Lady Gaga, in the "Rule the Pop World" category, and he's just plain weird. Seriously, I believe he really is the character, Aldous Snow, the one he played in,"Forgetting Sarah Marshall".

They say there is someone for everyone, so if this is true, I think these two have YET to find their someone. Call me cynical, but I just think there is no way Little Miss Type A married that big heap of mess. For all the success that Russell Brand has had, and he's sort of riding a wave of cinematic success right now, what are the odds that Katy will hang around when the Russell Brand train comes to a halt?

What do I know? They could be the worlds longest survivng couple ever, but the odds are heavily stacked against them, especially if they both continue finding success in Hollywood.

Let's get a pool together and predict how long these two will last. I'm serouis.

$2o bucks says six months, or at least until after the release of his next movie, Arthur.

Monday, October 25, 2010

My Bad

Overheard at a party this weekend:

Little Red Riding hood was frolicking through the forest, when out from behind a tree jumped the Big Bad Wolf.

The Big Bad Wolf, drooling and ready to pounce, said to Little Red, "Little Red Riding hood, I'm going to bend you over and GIVE it to you good, you little whore."

Little Red, unfazed, reached into her basket, pulled out a gun, put it to the wolf's head, pointed to her vagina and replied, "No you're not. You're going to EAT me just like the story says."

Friday, October 22, 2010

Shaq VS. Boston

The universe must be in complete alignment, because star-crossed lovers Sahquille O'Neil and Boston Sports Fans have finally found each other.
As promised, the Shaqrock tweeted his location in Harvard Square yesterday and posed for pics with fans like a statue, a la the city's beloved Celtic's legend Red Aurabach.

Pandemonium ensued. Word has it that Shaq, who did not speak to his fans, (he's supposed to be a statue) was quoted after the photo shoot, "Now I can say I went to Harvard."
This city loooves it's Shaq. And the feeling seems to be mutual. He can pretty much say what ever he wants and Boston fans will flock.

Now lets see what the Big Green does for the Big Green......

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Shut Your Hole

I'm not sure if the bump on my head from falling off the Turnip Truck is 100% healed, but Saturday night, my friend told me about this game called Cornhole. Now, I don't know about you, but my definition of a corn hole was NOT a game and much like a middle school kid, I giggled every time my friend said the word, corn hole.
A quick google search proved that indeed, Cornhole is a game and a serious one at that. There are even leagues and an American Cornhole Association. *insert immature giggle here*

People can get all kinds of different cornhole boards, pimped out with your favorite sports teams and or designs and there are official rules on playing the game.

Cornhole is much like beanbag toss, and some people don't think it's funny at all. According to the American Cornhole Association or the ACA;

"Cornhole or Corn Toss is similar to horseshoes except you use wooden boxes called cornhole platforms and corn bags instead of horseshoes and metal stakes. Contestants take turns pitching their corn bags at the cornhole platform until a contestant reaches the score of 21 points. A corn bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. It's great fun for the whole family."*insert immature giggle here*

The game of Cornhole has even been called Cincinnati's best kept secret and the World's best kept secret. According to Shannon Russell of The Cincinnati Enquirer, "Cornhole originated on the West Side of Cincinnati, which is generally any area west of I-75." And since West Sider's eat East Sider's for breakfast, Ms. Russell writes that she was fairly reticent about checking out the Cornhole-ing community for her editorial assignment. “Cornhole is big over here because so many different people can play, and men and women can compete against each other equally,” said a Cornholer she interviewed. Russell, a native Cincinnati East-Sider, asked the Cornholer why she had she never heard of it.

“BECAUSE PEOPLE ON THE EAST SIDE ARE AFRAID TO SAY CORNHOLE,” The Cornholer said with a booming laugh. I briefly considered defending the entire East Side but decided I wanted to keep my teeth intact," writes Russell.

Dang, these people are serious about their Cornhole. *insert immature giggle here*

Come to think of it I kinda like my teeth too.
I think I'd probably be better served to just leave it at that, and shut my hole.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Last Play At Shea

So I'm riding in my car this morning to a Zumba class, that didn't happen, (a whole other story) listening to Howard Stern. He's interviewing this guy and they're talking about Paul McCartney and the Beatles. While I'm listening to the interview, I'm trying to figure out who this guy is that Howard is interviewing. He sounded much like a kid from Long Island, and at times a bit humble. Howard was asking him what it was like to be a rock star and why he closed each concert with, "Don't take any crap from anyone." He replied it stemmed from his childhood and how he was pushed around as a kid and he kept referring to himself as Willie. Willie got picked on because he played the piano and had his books knocked out of his hands and such. I'm thinking it's Billy Joel, but then I decided no. The piano man could never be a Willie.

Howard asked him about the people who sang at his concert; this last concert at Shea. Artists like John Mayer, Steven Tyler, Garth Brooks, and Sir Paul. Stern went on to call this man insecure, because he admitted to not knowing exactly who would show up at his concert and why they would. Willie told the story of how McCartney called him the day before the show, and he didn't know who it was at first, to tell him that he didn't think he would be able to make it. Something about a flight and not being able to get into town in time. Willie, ecstatic that Sir Paul even considered making it, said he went on stage content that Paul McCartney had almost made it. He was floored when the legendary Beatle, indeed, showed at Shea to close out the show. The New York Times is quoted as saying about Joel when McCartney came on stage,

"The sold out crowd of 55,000 people let out an ear splitting roar as Mr McCartney sang the Beatles, "I Saw Her Standing There. Mr Joel, playing back-up fitting his reputation as a self-deprecating rock star, looking on from his piano as if he were just a fan himself."

It was confirmed that my suspicions that Willie was Billy Joel, when Howard asked him what his favorites of his music were and he replied, "New York State of Mind, Vienna, Summer Highland Falls, to name a few. The entire process was filmed for his documentary that opens tomorrow called, "Last Play at Shea".

I'm thinking that's a documentary I would like to see in the theaters and that that interview alone was worth my $23.00 subscription to Sirius Radio.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

See Buddy: The Treat Mafia

See Buddy.

Buddy has fallen in with the wrong crowd and now is a member of a vicious street gang called, "The Treat Mafia".

See The Boss.

The Boss, and his colleagues believe they are in the business of "Treat Management".

See The Dame.

The Dame is, by far, the most ruthless member of The Treat Mafia. Her bite is much worse than her bark if she is denied her share of a treat. And without regard for consequences.

See their hangout.

The Treat Mafia patrol their hangout without mercy. Anyone who enters, gets the squeeze for a treat, and when they want it they want it now!

Or else.

And The Dame isn't one to be denied... If you know what's good for you.

The last guy who denied them a treat was never seen or heard from again.

Message on the street was, "he was with Luca Brazi, sleeping with the fishes."

Friday, October 15, 2010


It's Friday people, and you know what that means???

We get to stare down our Wally World counter parts and ask the question that begs to be asked, WHY?

We were never quite sure why Uncle Earl was never married....

Did that thing just wink at me, or am I seeing things?

I think I just heard him say, "Thank you, Thank you very much..."

Girls just wanna have fun....but only if it's with other girls.

Looks to me like Nana stashed the rolls from the restaurant in the back of her shirt instead of her purse.

Oh, the joy of!!!

Peace out bloggers and have a great weekend knowing that after viewing these, things couldn't really be that bad...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Who Knew Beaver's Mom Was A Bad-Ass?

Inspired by my blogger friend Scott over at Zodi's Blog, I recalled this epic piece of cinematic history.

Remember this?

I guess I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue....

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Glee Free

No Glee recap today, cuz I know how much you people love my Glee recaps. I will say I did watch last night's episode and I LOVED it! So if anyone wants to Gleek out, feel free to drop a comment and we'll discuss. Today I thought I'd discuss the latest news out of Hollywood, about the break up of the marriages of Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette and Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman. Needless to say I wasn't shocked as much about the break-ups as I was about who it was that was breaking up.

I'm aware that being married in Hollywood is not at all conducive to a long and happy wedded life. It's a fact. But in the course of tabloid publishing, reading and reporting, I'll bet that these two couples somehow looked like they had the staying power. Let's take Courtney and David. When she married him 11 years ago, during the height of her "Freinds" fame, the world watched and scratched their heads, wondering what she saw in the "goofy, childish" Arquette. I, myself, never thought it would last, nor did I really care, but during those 11 years, the spin on the Arquette's was nothing but positive, loving and fun, both seemingly bringing success into their union. I began to root for them and when they had their daughter, Coco, it looked like their family was intact.

I should have known better. I, of all people, should know that nothing is really ever as it seems. If mis-matched Courtney and David can't make it work, who can? In today's paper, it is being reported that David spoke to Shock Jock Howard Stern yesterday and admitted that the break-up was all his fault. He alleges that he and his wife had not had sex for a month before they separated, so Courtney gave him the go-ahead to "do whatever you have to do". Huh??

So he went and had sex with some famous, celebrity "hanger-on" skank, who has a complete resume on all the celebs she has slept with. Nice move David. I'm sure Coco will be so proud when she looks back on the publicity surrounding her parents break-up. No wonder Courtney, David told Stern, told him, "I don't want to be your mother anymore." Sad truth there.

What about Christina and Jordan? Bratman, who got beat down with the ugly stick more than once (sorry) and his sexy, hot, siren wife Christina Aguilera announced their split yesterday after 5 years of marriage. What the heck?? They looked so much in love. They welcomed their first son a few years ago, appeared publicly together with just the proper amount of PDA and even spoke of their "naked Sundays", where they stayed at home on Sundays all day sans clothing. Hey, whatever works for you. Curiously, they announced that this is a trial separation, and that they may reconcile at some point in the future.

Talk about pressure. Now here's a young couple who I though had it together. You know she didn't marry him for his looks, money or fame, so one could assume that he floated her boat intellectually and physically, but add in the fame factor and any Hollywood marriage is starting out in the negative side of a statistic. Why is this? Who's next? For all that people want to criticize Brad and Angelina for not being married, I have to give them credit. They have six children together and feel no pressure to get married. They have committed themselves to their children and each other and admit that not all days are sunshine and roses. Maybe they have it figured out.

Maybe not. Maybe they will be the next announcement. The world has been waiting for that shoe to drop for a long time. And you know bad news always comes in threes.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Load Of Crockery

As some of you know, I went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for my fabulous honeymoon. While there, I couldn't help but notice that everything that was served to me during a meal was on coordinated, magnificent, Mexican crockery. And I mean everything. The plates, bowls, condiment trays, salt and pepper shakers, mugs, small dishes, etc., all coordinated with each other. It was beautiful. Since I am never one to turn her nose up at a retail opportunity, I decided that I had to take some of this beauty home with me. My Guy agreed, and we set out to find beautiful matching crockery to bring home to compliment our new married life.

We went to downtown Cabo and talked/bargained with some of the shop keepers, looking for the best deal. Each one had crockery more beautiful than the next, but what we were most concerned with was how we would get the stuff home. We knew it would need to be shipped. On our last afternoon, we were chatting with the manager of the hotel, telling him about our plans for the day, which were to secure the gorgeous Mexican crockery to send home, when he pulled out a business card and sent us to a place that sells the stuff to the hotels, wholesale. I was ecstatic! We immediately got in a cab and rode over to the warehouse. When we arrived I was overwhelmed by the number of beautiful styles, but I got right to work.

I selected service for 8, meaning I chose 8 coordinating dinner plates, salad plates, mugs, bowls, creamer and sugar, a butter dish, a serving bowl and a pitcher. The warehouse had a staff, but when we asked for help in locating a certain bowl or dish, their lack of English or their disinterest in our plight as they pointed a finger in the direction we were already in, told us we were pretty much on our own. There was a large sign at the cash desk that said, "CASH ONLY. NO CREDIT." We literally stole the gorgeous set of crockery, as it was relatively inexpensive for what we got, and My Guy paid the two Mexican gentleman extra to wrap up our purchases.

We returned to our hotel/resort and called in our butler. She had agreed to take care of having the 2 large boxes shipped back to the US for us, but when we got the price to do so, it was slightly more than we paid for the entire set of crockery. In hindsight, we should have carried the boxes onto the plane ourselves, because we paid the shipping and when they arrived home to us, almost every single plate; dinner plate, salad plate, was broken. And a few mugs and bowls too. And one of the salt and pepper shakers. Yes, they were insured by the shipper DHL, but I really don't care because I want the dishes more than I want the money. It's not like I can call the place that we got them and have them look the number up on the computer and re-ship me what was broken.

So I have been sitting on this for over a month now, and every day when I look at my coffee mug, all I see are the broken dishes and the lost opportunity. Until today. This morning I went online to try and locate my dishes and I did! The plate above is almost identical to the ones that were broken. BUT-the kicker is they are on eBay, and you know since I got screwed by eBay a few months ago. I'm not really looking forward to dealing with them again. The other issue; they are only advertising one plate for sale and I want 10. I sent the seller a message, so we shall see what happens. I would LOVE to replace the items we lost in shipping, but could I be that lucky? And with eBay? I'll keep you posted.

It's either that, or My Guy has to take me back to Cabo and soon.

Monday, October 11, 2010

What's Cookin'?

So, today is a holiday with our observance of Columbus day and my store is closed. I find myself with a happy, much needed day to bond with my family. Growing up, when my mom wanted to re-connect with us, she would cook, knowing that the wonderful, wafting scents from her kitchen would keep up all around all day. This is my plan for today. On the menu:
  • Cupcakes. Seriously, who doesn't love cupcakes?

  • Muffins. My Guy has requested homemade chocolate chip. No problemo.

  • Chili. I got a serious hankering for some veggie chili after reading Corey James' blog today.

  • Pot Roast. It's getting chilly, so tonite a nice pot roast will be a welcome meal for the troops.

Nothing makes me happier than knowing my family is eating wholesome food cooked my mom. Frick and Frack love to help in the kitchen too, so sometimes I can get them to tell me things while we are cooking together that they wouldn't otherwise. You know, they can't use the TV or the computer as an excuse for not answering any of my pointed questions. In the kitchen, it's just easy, casual, conversation...most of the time.

What's cookin' today? A whole day of family love and fun.

And I can't wait.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Moss Grows On A Rolling Stone

So you might have heard that Randy Moss was traded a few days ago to the Minnesota Vikings.

Boo Fricken Hoo.

It's not a great thing for my hometown team, per say, but it's not really a bad thing. You see, Randy is what you would call a "coddled" NFL football player. In the two years that Randy has played for the Pats, he's done some amazing things on the field. He's broken records and given Tommy a deep field threat that an unnamed NFL coach yesterday said, "Every defensive game plan against the Patriots starts with the question, 'How are you going to handle Randy Moss?'. You got to deal with Moss before you think about anything else."

That kind of thinking is what stalled Moss' on-field production last year. Now just into the 2010-2011 season, has Belichick thrown away the brass ring? Only time will tell. For now, the Pats decided that Randy had crossed over into the point of no return with his,"I'm not getting no respect" stance and successfully put the last nail in his New England Patriots coffin. He pissed off Kraft.

Story has it that back in February, at a charity event, Moss told a reporter that "the Patriots don't really pay". Not a smart move, to bite the hand that feeds you during a contract year. Mr. Kraft, a proud man, responded in the media with, "Do you know how much Randy has made over the last two years? Over 20 million, so I don't think we don't pay for quality." That was the beginning of the end for Randy and the Pats. Moss then went on to act disrespectful and make his unhappiness known to anyone who would listen. Including an assembled media after a big win. He began a recent post-win press conference with immature babble about feeling unwanted due to the lack of contract negotiations.

It was even more evident when last Monday night, Moss put up a no-catch game and had words with the offensive coordinator during half-time of the Pats/Dolphins Monday night game. Randy was the rolling stone, on a fast track to the bottom of the hill. Now back with Minnesota, Moss is with another star quarter back, hoping to get some love. We are left with not much of anything. Right now. Sure, Tommy has lots of other offensive weapons at his disposal. The question is will they be as effective as Moss. And why now? Is it business or is it football?

Belichick says that he makes decisions based on what's best for the team. Is this really the time to trade a marquis receiver, a future hall-of-famer, because he's being a brat? The Pats are defense-challenged this year and must rely on offensive to win games. Did Kraft and Bill make a big blunder to save face here? I some how feel like a Moss-y stone rolls just as fast as one without. Couldn't we have waited till the end of the season to wipe that stone clean?

*quotes from this report can be attributed to yesterday's Boston Herald*

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Doggie Audition

It's no secret that I love my dogs. Together they have formed a pack, the three of them (not those three above) and each one has his/her own distinct personality. They make me crazy most days, but no matter what happens, I can count on their loyalty. Life without them would be boring, for sure. I remember the day that I got my pug, Jingle. I bought her at a local Debbie's Petland. They probably got her from some horrid puppy mill, but the kids suckered me into it one afternoon, when our older pug became ill. They convinced me that he would do much better if he had a playmate, someone to keep him buzy and cuddle up with. "Another pug would give him a few more years and he'd have a playmate," they said. Call me a sucker, because the next thing I knew, we were all in the car on our way to the mall.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Once we got to the pet store/puppy mill, we scoped the cages for pugs. They had three fawn colored puppy pugs and we had been looking through the window at this tiny little boy pug. We watched him roll around and play and decided that we'd like to have him taken out to play with. We waited until it was our turn and told the clerk we wanted to see the boy pug. As he went to get the puppy, something made me say, "Wait! I want to see that one." I pointed to another pug three cages down. Don't ask me why, and the story has now become legend, but as I scanned the cages I saw this other little sad-faced pug and the words came out of my mouth before I knew they were coming.

Jingle is now Queen of the pack here, as she tolerates the boys antics regularly. A girl after my own heart, she will let them annoy her until she has had just enough, then look out! And they do. She's not the alpha, but she does not need to be if they push her buttons. And they both know it. I sometimes wonder what it was about her that made me change my mind so quickly, and made her fate change so drastically. I often think that to be a dog in a crate, waiting to be adopted must be a precarious state to be in. Wouldn't it be grand if a dog had some control over how he/she "auditions" for the role of a lifetime, family dog.

Jingle just may have telepathically sent me a message like this. You never know...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wednesday:Take 2

Dear Grilled Cheezus:
I want to do a re-do of today. Instead of blogging about the spiritual episode that was inspired by your face on a grilled cheese sandwich, like I was supposed to, I ended up spending an entire day in the hospital after what I thought was going to be an early morning follow up appointment with my doctor. AND I am still in one piece.
You know what Grilled Cheezus, I want to do an entire week re-do, because this has to be one of the worst weeks of my life. But I'm sick of me being sick of sick, ok? I want this crap to end almost as badly as Finn want to touch Rachel's boobies.
After the week I have had the sight of a doctor is enough to turn me into a screaming, insulting Sue Sylvester. The one that doesn't believe in God, not the soft one who loves her special needs sister like I normally am. I believe in you Grilled Cheezus. I know that the medical events of the past week must somehow be a test of my faith in you. Yet, I still choose to believe. Because I believe that I'm at the finish line and today's developments were just a test of my strength. And I'm strong.
Did I pass Grilled Cheezus?? Can I go back to normal now? I promise I will NEVER go to an emergency room and not use the hand sanitizer. Swear. And I promise to do everything I'm told so that I feel better soon. I'll even go to church like Kurt AND wear a fabulous hat, Grilled Cheezus. I'll even make more of your fabulous grilled cheese sandwiches in my (how brilliant) George Foreman grill!
And I promise, Grilled Cheesus, I won't even eat you.
You gotta promise to make this all go away. OK?
We got a deal?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Mama Likey

This is just one of those many ways in which my extra Y chromosome rears it's masculine little head. I love cars, and I like this little ride which was revealed at the 2010 Paris Auto Show yesterday, the Range Rover Evoque. I even like the color, which is saying a lot because they say that the color of your car speaks volumes about your personality.

Today, I drive a silver car, but for years I drove a black car. Come to think of it, this is the first car I have owned that wasn't black, including and up to my first car. A black Ford Mustang hand-me-down from my two brothers. Now don't get all excited, my Mustang was not one of which dreams were made. No, that car was made during Ford's small, economy, sedan, piece of crap Mustang years, and it was black. I loved it for sure, because it was MINE and that was good enough for me.

Yet every time I see a black car now, the thought runs through my head, "I should have chosen a black car". Needless to say, when the time comes for me to choose my next car, I'm pretty confident it will be black. But I'm liking the white too..

Anyway, here's what the color of your car says about you according to

A red car indicates that you are a passionate person. You are a “take charge” kind of individual and you are at least a little wild. If you are thinking of buying a red car keep in mind that red cars are still among the most stolen and one of the most ticketed vehicles on the road. Bright red paint also subconsciously sends the message that the owner is in a higher income bracket.

An orange vehicle is exceedingly hard to find. If you have an orange car you most likely crave attention. You are also generally a happy and upbeat person who enjoys being unique.

There aren’t too many yellow cars on the road either, but a few companies do put them out; think the Ford Focus and VW Bug for instance. If you drive a yellow car you are confident. You like to have fun and you embrace the child within.

Green is the color of nature. The person who chooses a green car is conscientious. They tend to be the go-to person in tense situations because they know how to keep their emotions in balance.

If your car is dark blue you are likely a very loyal person. You value relationships over wealth and you are calm. Rather than stand out, you like to blend in. If your car is light blue you are serene and peaceful. You also have a strong maternal instinct.

This is the color of royalty. If you have found a purple car you are a cherished individual who loves beauty, but walks with strength and purpose.

There are few pink cars out there, but they can be found. If you have a pink car, you like to be treated with a soft touch. You like to smile and you think good health is important.

If you have a brown car that signifies that you are reliable. You are true to yourself and to those around you. You are earthy and don’t engage in “showboating.” You are approachable, responsible and worthy of friendship.

A slick black car is the epitome of power and authority. Think CIA or Secret Service. If you have a black car, you are sending the message that you are in control and are self-assured.

There are many white cars on the road. What they say about their owners has a lot to do with their upkeep. A clean white car shows that you pay attention to detail. You are careful and pure. A dirty white car makes you look sloppy and indifferent.

Although gray often represents the dreary and depressing in clothes, furniture and paint, that is not the case with your gray car. A gray car is a comfortable one. It represents stability and self-reliance.

Silver cars represent prestige, wealth and luxury. The newer and shinier the car, the more this will come across.

A gold car represents wealth and pride. If you have a gold car, you likely want to be noticed. You want people to know you do not lack financially and you are independent.

Please do leave your car color in the comments section so we can learn more about what the color of your car says about you bloggers!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Do You Believe This Crap?

I can't believe this crap, but I got sick this weekend, AGAIN!!! Only this time, it's a doozy.

I'm pretty sure it's the Flu. I came home from the ER on Saturday afternoon with my Kidney Stone patient and all I wanted to do was lay down. I was exhausted. My body felt like hundred pound sandbags were weighing it down. When I woke up, I decided to take my temperature because I had that warm feeling you get when you have a fever.

Sure enough, I had a fever of 102 degrees. And body aches in my lower body like I had worked out a big workout. This continued for the next day. I kept dreaming that my brain was cooking in my head because reality probably was. My fever never dipped below 101 for two days despite eating Advil like candy and I could hardly get out of bed. To top it all off, I couldn't get a hold of my doctor's office so I just decided to die a valiant death on my own.

So last night the fever breaks and now I'm left with INTENSE stomach cramps, so bad I feel like I did something really wrong in my life to deserve this pain.

So what do you think the chances are that this is Swine Flu and the chances of my catching this in the ER the first time I was there???

Somebody, please put me outta my misery.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I Am Blogger

Sorry about yesterday bloggers, but unforeseen circumstances prevented me from my daily routine of blogging. You see, I spent the day in the ER with a beloved member of my family and I didn't have time to grab the laptop. Time was of the essence. It was not a bloody emergency, thank God. No, it was more of an intense, acute, back pain that caused this person extreme discomfort. Turns out it is a kidney stone and This Person, STILL has not passed it, poor thing. But I'm not supposed to be blogging about it.

I'm not supposed be blogging about it because This Person asked me, in the midst of all the ER craziness, not to blog about it. "Please, no blogging about this. This is not material for your blog," This Person said. I get it, so I won't be blogging about it, except to say that's why I missed a day of blogging for the first time in two years. (without, of course, letting you all know I wouldn't be blogging) But it did get me to thinking...

Blogging and I have become one. I am blogger and proud of it. Yesterday morning, while sitting in the doctors office, then the ER, knowing that This Person was going to be uncomfortable, but ultimately fine, I became a little anxious with the knowledge that I had not blogged and probably would not be blogging at all. I felt like I was shirking my responsibilities. Like I was skipping school for the first time, only as an adult, and the guilt would rear it's ugly little head every now and again. Now, I'm not saying that what I do here on The Daily Dandy is important. I'm saying that what I do here on The Daily Dandy is important to ME and if others are enjoying it, then that's a huge bonus.

I know I am a blogger because my family reads my blog regularly. Every once in a while someone from my large, crazy, family will tell me they liked my blog last week about.... Sometimes, My Guy will go on my blog to try and figure out what I'm thinking or ask me why I chose to share some intimate detail of our lives with the bloggersphere and I'm pretty certain he always checks The Dandy the day after a big fight. My best friend who lives in Vegas will shoot me a text every now and then that says, "love the blog today! hee hee." and some of my clients have become regular readers. I know this because I have received several emails congratulating me on my recent marriage, while scratching my head wondering how they knew until I figured it out.

For me, the evidence of my blogger identity came to light at my recent wedding when my children, Frick and Frack, gave the most elequoent, sincere, articulate and heartwarming toast/speech. In that speech, they mentioned that I was a blogger, in case people didn't know, and they dropped my blog name and told a story of one of my blog posts involving them, misbehaving badly. They even went on to quote all of you, by name, and repeat your comments. It was a laugh out loud riot, coming straight from them, and I realized that they read The Dandy more than I thought. It gave me pleasure to know that they too, check every now and again to see what mom is "ranting about today".

But most of all I am blogger for me. I don't think I have ever done anything in my life that felt so right, where I had the freedom to just be me and I knew it from the day I started. Oh I know, most days I suck badly and some days I'm lazy. Some days I'm funny and some days I'm serious and sad. Sporty, quirky, celebrity-obsessed, ridiculous or nostalgic, blogger is a big part of who I am and you all are too. Please, keep reading The Daily Dandy, and I'll keep reading your wonderful blogs. It's not rocket science, what we do here. It's just blogging. But for me, it's become a very important part of my day and my life.

I mean, where else can one go to find the latest, greatest, commentary on those crazees over at WalMart (besides or the inside scoop on Tom Brady's ingrown fingernail? That's right people, it's important work I'm doing here and I'm damn proud of it. I am Blogger; hear me roar.