I Hate It When That Happens

Fred rushes in and announces loudly, 'I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic.  Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was this woman in a Jaguar doing at least 70 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her mascara.

I looked away for a couple seconds and then the next thing I knew was she was careering all over my lane.

It scared me so badly that I dropped my electric shaver into my coffee, and it spilled all over my mobile phone.

Monday Minutia

• Saw a post on FB that cracked me right up. It said, "If Mondays were shoes, they'd be Crocs"

• And on that note, the funniest thing I ever saw on Twitter was a tweet from a dude who said, "Whoever just left me a voice mail, could you send me a text and let me know if I should listen to it?" 

• So all the weather people here are foaming at the mouth over the fact that we need 2" more of snow to break the record for the snowiest winter ever. I'm thinking, really? Tell that to the thousands of us here dealing with ice dam damage and seasonal depression..

• I'm almost finished with the 3rd season of "Breaking Bad". Why did I never watch this show when everyone was telling me I had to? I'm now obsessed! This is the greatest thing on television! I love the whole dynamic between Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. And Aaron Paul's, " Yo, where's my money?...Bitch!" Interesting to note: "Breaking Bad" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Highest Rated TV Series.

• The Boston Herald reported that My Tommy is thinking that after he retires from football, he may go the Hollywood way, via an acting career. I say whatever My Tommy is selling...I'm buying.

Sheer perfection...I'd pay to watch him recite the alphabet.

This Or That

Let's play a little game of "This Or That". It's interesting to find out more about people by knowing what they like. We played this all weekend on the beach with family and it kept on going and was so much fun!

Here we go! Bloggers, you type your answers in the comments section.

• White or wheat?  ( I say wheat)
• Blonde or Brunette? (this goes for both men and women)
• Rock and Roll or Country? (Rock...all the way)
• Frozen Yogurt or Ice cream? (Fro Yo baby! It's the only way to go)
• Sandals or shoes? (flip flops?)
• Pool or Beach? (tough one..beach)
• Cookies or Cake? (cake...., duh?)
• Hamburger or Hot Dog? (this all depends on where I am..also a tough one but I'll say hot dog)
• Sports car or sedan? (Now that my kids are all grown....sedan)
• Harvard or Yale? (Haaaahhvard)
• Hiking or fishing? (hiking..no slimy creature touching for me, thanks)
• "The Wizard Of OZ" or "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory"? (Dorothy beats Willy)
• Baseball or Football? (oohhh...I plead the 5th here)
• Dogs or Cats? (dogs..no brainer)
• Oreo or Chips Ahoy? (neither...believe it or not)
• Hershey or Lindt? (I don't discriminate..I like all chocolate)
• Facebook or Instagram? (Facebook)
• Butter or Margarine? (margarine...it's just easier)
• Blue or Red? (blue)
• Friends or Family? (Family trumps all!!)

I can't wait to find out more about you bloggers!

I Was Just Thinking.....

• Green, Green, Grass: My Guy has become obsessed with our lawn. I'm so glad he is because it looks like a carpet of Emerald. We were sitting out in our screened-in porch yesterday morning discussing the beauty of our backyard. I can honestly say that right now, our yard has that "pristine" look that as a homeowner, you covet. My Guy spends most of his free time out there with his helpers and the benefits are obvious. Good thing too, because a week from Saturday, we will have over 75-100 people stomping all over the perfect gorgeousness for Frack's graduation party. 

• Love: What does love go to do with it? Lately my outlook on love has been tested. Thank God it's not my love, but some very good friends of mine have hit a rough patch in their marriages. I can only listen and be a friend and try to surmise that it's just a "rough patch", but I'm not sure. People grow and change and sometimes they don't grow and change together. I'd like to think that I'm helping by just listening. Marital discord was one of the hardest personal challenges I've ever faced. Looking back it was the worst and best thing that ever happened to me, but I'm a believer in good, old-fashioned love. When things like this happen around me, it challenges that belief. Maybe love really is just a second hand emotion. 

• Family: I had a great weekend. My baby boy Frack graduated from high school and I couldn't have been prouder. The ceremony was outside on a picture perfect Friday night, the boys all wore white tuxedos and the girls wore white dresses and it was absolutely beautiful. I didn't cry or get emotional because this was a joyous day. I don't feel sad. I'm excited and proud for what lies ahead for him. He's really becoming a man right before my eyes and I'm beginning to see a new sense of responsibility emerging in him. Frick was home and it was nice to have the family unit together for the celebration. Yes, life is good in the Daily Dandy household right now. I'm hoping it lasts.  

• Binge Watching: "Orange is the New Black" is back! Season 2's episodes started June 6th on NetFlix and all 13 episodes now are available for viewing. If you haven't seen this show, you are really missing out on a great one. What makes it so great? It's different. In a TV line up full of cookie cutter cop, lawyer, hospital and crime scene shows, this one tackles a new subject matter, life in a woman's prison, with addicting precision. If you aren't playing in the NetFlix game you need to start. "House of Cards" another NetFlix original series is, by far, the BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. Don't say I didn't let you in on that. 

Monday Morning Joke

Two guys are out enjoying a beautiful day of golf.

One guy steps up to the tee box and sets up to take his shot. Just as he's about to swing through, a funeral precession drives by. The man stops and waits for the precession to go by and even bows his head in respect as the procession drives through.

The other guy looks to his friend and says, "Wow, that was amazing that you just did that. That was just about the classiest thing I have ever seen on a golf course."

His friend says, "Yeah, it was the least that I could do. After all, I was married to her for thirty five years."

Politically Incorrect Auto Correct

This has been all over the Internet and I thought it was way too funny not to share. Happy Monday!

Monday Morning Blues

Post mini vacation and this is me.

I suck today.

Just no good. But it's back to the grind anyway because life waits for no man.
So I decided that a joke today should liven things up....of course, this is NSFW, so keep the volume low.

Now that was funny~ Happy Monday bloggers!!

Just Because It's Almost St Paddy's Day

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, 'Ma' am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.'

The woman thinks to herself, 'Oh No, not my brother... he's an idiot!' She asks the doctor, 'Well, what's the girl's name?' Denise.'

'Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?'

'Denephew.'

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_moon.htm

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

It was one of those weekends.

The Good: I got to see an old friend and help a good one. Seeing people you used to have a great connection and memories with is always a pleasure. It's nice to catch up and commiserate over shared issues and people and laugh about old times. My good friend finally relented, which is a miracle in itself, but she allowed me to help her through a challenge. I can report the outcome was better than expected and facing the challenge may have helped her more that we both know.

The Bad: The hits just keep on coming, but I will not relent. Forward motion is what I will continue and I will not let this battle deter me from my final goal. I've done my due diligence and I'm moving forward with the plan. Battle I will, if the need be, but I will not relent. The strong survive and I've got that on my side. I am confident the outcome will be worth it all.

The Ugly: Oh yeah, it was ugly, and we all know it. Every soldier on that field yesterday and every fan can all agree, that Patriots loss in the home opener was ugly. No two ways about it. Ugly breeds ugly. I couldn't help but feel like this was payback for the Baltimore loss last year in the playoffs on the same play. Now I know what the fan from Baltimore feel like. It doesn't feel good. Yet, every week we keep coming back for more. Go figure.

And in the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day."
I'm holding out hope for today.