The Lady In Yellow

She sat next to me on a crowded, skinny, two-seater airplane. She was a larger woman and I noticed her at the gate, thinking quietly to myself that she looked unsure. I wasn't feeling a hundred, so when we got to our respective seats I sat down quietly and closed my eyes. I noticed during take off that she had closed her eyes too. As I stated before, the plane was narrow and crowded so the fact that the larger woman sitting next to me, the lady in yellow, had her elbows in my gut became something that I knew I couldn't control.

Yet I didn't mind. 

As I restlessly slept on the plane I would open my eyes every now and again and looked at the woman next to me. Her skin was as dark as a bar of chocolate but it was luminous and beautiful. Her two-toned dreadlocks were swept up into a bun on top of her head and the sea shells that were expertly woven in between the locks made her appear much more stylish than that of a woman her age. Her fashionable leopard print scarf let me know that this woman knew exactly who she was and what she wanted to look like. But it was her smell that got me.

She smelled like my childhood.

She was chewing on bubblegum that smelled exactly like the bubblegum of my childhood. And that scent? It was so pleasant. I found myself wanting to put my head on her shoulder because she felt safe. The fact that our arms were smashed together because of the close proximity of the small seats didn't bother me at all. I liked her yet I hardly knew her. She was a woman of faith. I could tell because with her she had a 1997 biography of the Reverend Billy Graham and she opened it and began to read it while we were on the plane. I thought it adorable that before we took off she asked me exactly how to put her cell phone into airplane mode. I showed her where to find it in her settings AP. Obviously it was important to her to conform to the rules.

I must have been coughing a bit, because she asked me if I was OK, and asked me if I had allergies. I told her I had been visiting my son in college. He was sick with an undiagnosed strep throat that was mistaken for allergies. It had proceeded over the weekend into a full blown, swollen throat so painful that he could hardly swallow water. The fact that my emergency trip to North Carolina that Sunday to take him to the hospital was not lost on her. We agreed that I spent the most contagious 24 hours with him and I told her I hoped that I would not get sick also. 

We chatted a bit about being a mom and that when your child is sick, it's no matter where you are; you go. I found out she was from Kenya, just visiting relatives in NC and stopping briefly in my home town of Boston before flying to Amsterdam then on to Nairobi. It was her first visit to the United States. She had 3 grown children, each living in different parts of the world, and a new grandchild. I told her jokingly as we landed that she could now add Boston to the places in the US she has been, even for a short time. I helped her with the bags she had stowed above our seats, and I wished her a good trip and safety as she traveled back to Kenya.

Then I said goodbye and walked away from the Lady in Yellow forever. 

But I still thought about her. I'm thinking right about now she must be landing in her homeland, hopefully safe and tired. Maybe her children will be waiting to greet her as she arrives, maybe not. But I want her to know that somewhere, someone is thinking of her and hoping she makes it home safely. 

#WhatIsBeauty

I talk about beauty all day, every day. My job is to interpret, educate and inspire in people a simple beauty style. I am constantly inspired by other women; by what they say, by how they act,  who they are and by how they interpret themselves. I often wonder, do they see the beauty that I see?  And what does that mean to them? So I decided to make it my job to try and find out.

What is beauty? To you? What's your definition? 

Send me: in the comments section, via email or social media, a 15-25 second video (or written statement. Videos are preferred) with your answer. Your answers will be compiled and used to promote a #WhatIsBeauty message on all of The Candy Bar sites. 

I encourage you to send me your video! We are all beautiful and together we can inspire other women to define beauty on our own terms!

Click on the link below to send your video to any of these sites! 

Facebook
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The Candy Bar- click on Contact Us and send your video via email.

Join the movement #WhatIsBeauty

"Maybe it’s NOT Maybelline. Maybe you were just born with it."

- Mandy Hale

Hollywood's Golden Girl

I like this lady. There is something about her that draws me in.

Maybe its because she strikes me as the kind of person who just doesn't give a sh*t.
Maybe it's because she's interesting and beautiful and has always been on the outer cusp of Hollywood-like she's been there all along-but not quite.
Maybe it's because she looks and acts like she knows exactly who she is.
And maybe because she just kicked everyone's ass this awards season.

Patricia Arquette is boss lady. The thing is, she always has been. Most recently as TV's The Medium, which had a 6 year run, and up next CSI:Cyber, it's safe to say she has been quietly succeeding in the complicated maze of the acting world. One of a family of Hollywood types-her famous siblings, Rosanna, Richmond, Alexis and David, are well known themselves for various reasons-acting being the common denominator. But there's something about Patricia, and Patricia right now.

I'm not talking about her Oscar acceptance speech either, although that just adds another dimension to her appeal. I'm talking about how she carries herself. She's every woman. She's feminine and relatable because she possesses an elegant beauty that can't be found in a hair and makeup room. She is a beautiful woman, of that there is no doubt, but she is a beautiful woman on what appears to be her own terms. She doesn't conform to Hollywood standards and she doesn't have to. She set the bar for herself and it works for her.

If she's selling, I'm buying. I read that she was strongly considered for the Dorothy Boyd character in "Jerry Maguire" so to Patricia I will say this, you had me at hello.....

Insert Foot In Mouth...

Seriously? When are the cavemen of sports going to realize that women sports reporters are here to stay? And when will they realize that they have a responsibility to not spew hate and death threats directed towards ANYONE, much less Erin Andrews when they are on-air?

The latest controversy surrounding Erin Andrews of Fox Sports News happened just the other day in my very own city. WEEI's morning program "Dennis and Callahan" co -host Kirk Minihane inserted his foot right into his mouth alright. Long story short, when in studio, on-air discussing Erin Andrew's interview with pitcher Adam Wainwright about his "about face" admission to throwing an easy pitch to hit to Derek Jeter at bat during the All Star game, Minihane unleashed a most inappropriate tirade concerning Andrews line of questioning. Andrews apparently said when ending the interview, "Don't you just love social media?"

Does it bear repeating here? YES it does so it serves as a lesson to all radio/TV host/journalists that you just can't take your hate that far without consequence. His remarks are as follows:

"I hate her! What a gutless bitch! Go away. Drop dead. I mean, seriously what the hell is wrong with her? First of all, follow-up. Second of all, the guy admitted he did it. He admitted he told reporters he threw a couple of pipe bombs. How is that social media’s fault? I hate her. Don’t you love social media? Yeah…social media is — shut up. shut up. i’m sure she’s a nice person, but she’s…she’s probably a bitch. I hate her."

He immediately remarked ,"I'm gonna get in trouble for this." And he was right!

Minihane, last night, issued an apology on WEEI's  website:

"This morning on the radio I used a series of words to describe Erin Andrews' work at the All-Star Game. My choice of words was wrong; I was wrong to have used them. To all whom I offended -- particularly Ms. Andrews -- I apologize. There is no place for what was said. It was immature and completely uncalled for. I am often critical of media members and their work and recognize here that I've made the kind of mistake I would call out if it was done by another sportscaster or writer. Again, to all involved, I'm very sorry."

Ya think?

I am so tired of this "men are superior" mentality in sports broadcasting and I'm sure I'm not alone in this thinking. As for Erin Andrews? No matter what she looks like, she has worked hard to get where she is and to stay where she is, regardless of what a small minded sports personality in Boston thinks. There are a million pretty faces that are all trying to do the same thing that Erin Andrews is doing, has done, and continues to keep doing. She has earned her stay. When does she get the respect that is allotted to any other sports reporter of her stature?

Blonde, brunette, white, black, yellow or green...I don't care who SHE is. She's got a job to do and if she wasn't good at what she does she wouldn't be there. Period. Fox Sports thinks so too. They issued the following statement about the  controversy:

 “Comments such as these are inappropriate and inexcusable. It is unfortunate that one of the best sports talk radio stations in the country would allow and condone such low-class behavior from one of their on-air personalities.”

I stand behind Erin Andrews regardless of what I may think of her personally. Good, bad or indifferent it's time to end the superiority complex that some men have about women sports reporters. Period.

I'm curious how Minihane's shoes are tasting right about now. Pretty sour is my bet.

#LikeA girl

I'm wondering if you've seen this ad for Always? if you haven't it's worth a look:

It's amazing.
It's powerful.
But it's also sad and depressing to think that after a certain age, self doubt and societal mores ruin it for innocent adolescent girls.

Campaigns like this aim to change that, but are the #hashtag campaign and the viral video enough? When it's right in front of our faces it can be ever so ugly, but is that realization enough to abolish the "like a girl" mentality?

I hope so. Because the younger girls in the spot above are the true heroes. If that's what it's like to do anything "like a girl", I want to be that girl.

Save The Drama For Your Mama

So I had some people around me recently that got into an all and out, "I hate that beeyotch" and "She's just a bit*ch!". Drama....

I have been left to choose my words carefully to each of them and be very deliberate about not getting involved. The thing is, I happen to love both of these people and I just happen to be in the unfortunate position of being the common denominator between them. So #1 is pissed at #2 and #2 is pissed at #1 and I'm smack dab in the center of this sh*t storm. Both of them have tried to talk to me on separate occasions about the other one, at which time I have had to ask them to not involve me. And when they continue, I am left to distract myself with my mobile device or Facebook (that's what it's for, right?).

I have my opinions on the issue, but I'm not going to share them with either of them. So get this...the fact that I won't comment on the issue is causing them to throw shade at me??? WTF? I have nothing to do with the issue! It is completely between them and I have nothing to do with it and somehow I've found myself caught in the cross hairs.

Don't make me go all Theresa on you're asses!  And figure the sh*it out and leave me out of it.

"Find A Way"

To say that I have thought of Diana Nyad maybe a handful of times in my life would be accurate. I knew that she was once a famed long distance swimmer and I knew that she had attempted some crazy-ass swim across the world a few times and failed. That's about the extent of my Diana Nyad knowledge. Today I think of Diana Nyad as an inspiration and I find myself searching for more information on the 64 year old woman. This new chapter in her story is an example of what can be accomplished if you never give up and recently I've thought of her far more than that handful of times. 

Diana Nyad accomished something she had tried and failed at 4 times before. Diana, this week, became to first person to swim from Cuba to Florida in 110 mile swim in open water, without a shark tank, in 52 hours. Talk about never say never.

Diana was already accomplished.

She spent her younger days swimming under the tutelage of Hall Of Fame coach Jack Nelson and was a decorated swimmer, winning awards and breaking records in both high school and college. In 1986 she was inducted into the United States National Women's Sports Hall of Fame and in 2003 she was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame. She has since parlayed those accomplishments into a career. Nyad is an accomplished author, journalist, entrepreneur and commentator who regularly contributes to CBS Sunday Morning. To some, her career would look to be fulfilling and complete. Another person might have just sailed off into the swimming sunset, so to speak. But Diana wanted to do that one thing she had tried and failed at. In 2011 she began forming her team and training for the 110 mile swim. The odds were stacked against her with her age and history told her the outlook wasn't so good. 

On Monday, September 2, 2013, her body dehydrated and slowly breaking down, Diana walked out from the vast ocean she had swam 110 miles in unassisted, as the person who never gave up and beat the odds. Her 64 year-old self beat her 28 year-old self in what has to be the most satisfying career highlight ever. 

Diana Nyad is an inspiration. Diana Niad is a role model. Diana Nyad is a never say never believer.

Diana Nyad is someone whom I will think about as a shining example of what can be accomplished with determination and belief. And she is someone who has moved on from a handful to going viral in my mind.

Time For An Oil Change

All the fellas and ladies out there, listen up! There's a new trend taking the beauty industry by storm and it's somewhat confusing, considering most of us were taught to steer clear of it in it's pure form. Welcome to the new era in beauty/grooming products!

PURE OIL..

Jack Black has brought us a wonderful, pure oil that's unisex and has multiple use. MP 10 Nourishing Oil is made up of 10 natural oils:

1. Argan Oil
2. Organic Moringa Seed Oil
3. Organic Marula Seed Oil
4. Watermelon Seed Oil
5. Plum Seed Oil
6. Organic Baobab Seed Oil
7. Olive Fruit Oil
8. Grape Seed Oil
9. Jojoba Oil
10. Rice Bran Oil

These natural oils form a most perfect way to deliver rich, pure moisture to the skin without clogging pores and infuse powerful antioxidants to fight the aging process. But here's the best part: there are so many uses for this oil, you will be amazed!!

• Guys-use it as a pre shave oil: It prepares the skin like no other and allows for the closest shave while protecting the delicate skin on your face. 
• Ladies-use it for the same. Your legs will never feel smoother or softer after shaving with this.
• Use it on your HAIR...As a conditioning treatment use a small amount on wet hair at the ends. Use it on dry hair, in small amounts to take frizzies and fly away's and as a beard conditioner. If you have no hair, even better! It's a great conditioner/moisturizer for men with a baldpate.
• Use it as a facial moisturizer: Now, for those of us who were taught that oil is bad for you skin listen up: this product is non comedogenic and rich with antioxidants. You are doing your skin a favor by using this. Mix it in with your daily facial moisturizer for an extra boost.
• Use all over your body: This is arms and legs season, and nothing is better for glowing skin than nourishing oils. It's also great for dry skin on your heels, elbows and cuticles straight up, and even better when added to your body lotion or cream. 

We are obsessed!! And you will be too. At $32.00, with everyday use, the bottle should take you right through the summer. 

Come by The Candy Bar and check it out! We will even give you a sample to take home and try. I know you will love it!

Candy's Weekly Wank

"You've just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?"

"Phil"

"But you named the last eleven Phil"

"Yeah its great. I say, "Phil go clean the room", they all go clean their room. I say, "Phil come for dinner", they all come for dinner."

"But what if you only want one of them?"

"Oh! Then I call them by their last name."

Speechless

I Was Just Thinking..

It would seem to me that as a society, we are all obsessed with the concept of an upgrade. Onto bigger and better things, so out with the old and in with the new. But is the new always the better option?

• Technology says yes. Newer phones with the latest technology that are quicker, clearer and thinner than their older counterparts who just can't compete create a societal frenzy. If the lines of people camped outside the Apple store in all kinds of weather don't speak volumes about our voracity for upgraded technology, I don't know what does.  It's a techie's wet dream of being the first to own the newest in the industry. 
• Jewelry. They say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, so who doesn't want a bigger, brighter version of our very good friend? On second thought, maybe not everyone needs bigger, but if offered the opportunity to own a more valuable gem or stone, you'd be hard pressed to find someone to say "no thanks".

The question still begs..Is it always better? Is an upgrade a better grade of life? 

• Weary traveler's say yes. A first class seat airline seat is bigger, softer, roomier and comes with a better meal with a more attentive waitress than it's coach counterpart. Does that mean that there's also an upgrade of people in first class?
• Academic papers that are "upgraded" may be the only exception to the question at hand. An upgrade on any academic work is always a good thing.

But when it comes to the people in our lives, the concept of an "upgrade" is fuzzy at best. Can one really "upgrade" the old ball and chain? Can you actually replace a person with a newer version of the same person? I guess you'd have to ask Hugh Hefner. It would seem that he has perfected the art of "upgrading" his women. It's a funny dinner party joke with your friends, to kid about "upgrading" your spouse, but in truth I would guess that most people would rather not. In fact, I think most people who tend to poke fun at the concept of replacing one person with another "newer" version know exactly what it means. 

It means they know for certain that for them, there is no better grade. 

If You've Got Nothing Nice To Say Don't Say Anything At All.

So this chick pissed me off yesterday.

And here I was thinking I had I left high school years ago.

She basically told me she thought I was ugly. But in a nice way. If that's possible. I couldn't believe it.
And I'm all like,"really bitch? You didn't just say that to me, did you?" "Oh, HELL no!":

Truth is, I didn't say anything back. I didn't say anything back that was mean spirited, like I wanted to. I just kind of chuckled. I casually told her I live by my own rules and I don't care too much about other people's rules or what they think from behind my huge, dazzling smile. I took it like it was no skin off my back. But it was skin off my back. It was hairs standing up on the back of my neck.

Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? Really, Bitch? I have to deal with her regularly too because she's kind of a  new colleague. And I hardly giggled when someone else described her as "quirky and flighty". I said nothing because quietly I already knew she was a bitch.

She's completely screwed herself now, because she's dead to me. I'll be cordial because that's what my mom taught me to do, but if she does it again I'll go all Irish on her and then I won't be pretty. She can count on that. My Irish can get very ugly.

Really bitch?

What are we 7 years old? Is she trying to establish her dominance? Believe me toots, I'm not interested in hanging with you "cool kids". I'm all set.

Now I know I'm not ugly.

And this is not a ploy to get you to tell me I'm beautiful in the comments section.This is about a lot more than the way that I look, but I'm so surprised that a grown woman would resort to that type of "bullying". Because I can't think of any other reason for her to say what she said to the new kid on the block. It's kind of shocking. And I said nothing back. Snark deserted me when I needed it most.

That's SO not like me. Let's hope my mojo's not next.

Really bitch?

Mars Vs. Venus

If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then we must really be living on two separate planets. I'm referring to business specifically, but it's also an age old question for the age old battle of the sexes. The answer, it seems is simple; men and women are different. Truth is, it's not really that simple.

Men and women approach business from different perspectives. Both genders can achieve great success, and both genders have unique strengths that can attribute to that success. Because we approach things differently, who's to say there is a template for what equates to success and what does not. Women tend to be more emotional because society encourages a more nurturing woman's role in all aspects of life. So in the workplace or in a position of power is there room for emotion?   Mental toughness is a strength, yet emotion is seen as a weakness? One could argue that it would depend upon the business and the individual, but for some, emotion is what drives their success.

In sales, emotion is paramount to hook your audience. The goal is get them excited about your brand and hopefully emotionally invested in it so that they will come back to you, time and time again. Without emotion, consumers couldn't be brand loyal and vendors couldn't motivate them to trust that brand and spend their money. Picking up on client's emotional cues or hints of unhappiness and responding to them help to keep them happy and build relationships based on trust and respect.

On the other hand, when making business decisions, emotion sometimes can cause frustration and removing the emotion from the situation is best advised for making sound decisions. A "never let them see you sweat", kind of thing, and both genders sweat emotionally in business from time to time. Barking back at a co-worker or spouting off a nasty group email, which seems satisfying in the moment, in retrospect is never a good idea.

We are different, men and women, and as such we handle all kinds of situations from different mindset.

Case in point: Take a look at Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in a room full of men watching the US take out Osama Bin Laden.

A picture is indeed, worth a thousand words.

I Don't See No Stinkin' Fat Lady Singing

I may not be as young as I used to be, but I know I'm not as old as I sometimes think I am.
So, I now wake up with a few new aches and pains that may not have been there last month. So what? The laugh and expression lines that once formed and then disappeared, now have become a permanent part of my face, forever. Should I not laugh or smile? These only serve to remind me that I chose to live a life to the fullest.

To my BFF Danny, I say, we are closer to the middle than we are to the end, so let's rejoice in that.

In answer to your question: NO, puffiness around the eye area does NOT mean you are getting old and losing your youth. Unless you think you are getting old and losing your youth, then I can't help you. But I think I know you a bit better than that, and I think I need to break this issue down for you so you can see for yourself.

THE FACTS:

Puffiness around the eye area is the presence of excess fluid (edema). The contributing factors are numerous, but the most common are here:

• Diet-caffeine and sodium are killers. Too much caffeine and foods high in sodium can all make your eyes look even PUFFIER. Alcohol can cause fluid to pool under the eye, and foods like canned veggies and canned soups, high in sodium can be the culprit.
• Sleep Habits: Sleeping flat on your back, without a pillow, can cause fluid to build under the eye area. Try elevating your head by adding another pillow to your head at night.
• Medical condition: It's quite possible there is something else going on here. Abnormally low levels of protein in the blood, a kidney condition or too little thyroid hormone are mentioned as possibilities for periorbital oedema. Talk to your doctor, have your blood pressure checked, your urine and your blood tested to determine any of these things. 
• Allergies: Most certainly the most common in all the research I read. And here's the thing you can have allergies and not even know it. When you react to allergens, histamines are released.  They can cause swelling in the face, especially around the eyes. An antihistamine may help with swelling, but you would be better served knowing exactly what you are allergic to and avoiding it. 
• Yes, AGE: Heredity and age can be contributing factors to puffiness in the eye area. When the skin under the eye becomes thin, it begins to sag and eyes look more puffy and tired. But I don't think that's the culprit here. 

Bottom line, you are not old, so stop thinking you are old because then you will become old. Good thing you have me to remind you, because I'm just a few paces behind you in this marathon we call life. 

And we ain't goin' anywhere. 

You can best believe that when we get there we will be fabulous. 

This is the way I plan on being when I get there...

I Was Just Thinking....

What is it about a cat fight?

From an early age, our mothers taught us to act "lady like". Well, most of our mothers, but it was sort of an unwritten rule that a girl should act a certain way. They told us to act demure, speak softly and if we had a point to make, to speak succinctly and assuredly, so as to get our point across. Be eloquent and make people listen to our logic, and above all always keep our emotions in check. At least in public, for one would never want to be considered one of "those girls".

With the dawn of the new Millenium, social media and reality TV, those social mores, taught by years of mothers before us, have basically gone to the dogs...or the cats, because in this day and age, it's the "cat fight" that gets the attention. By today's standards it's the squeakiest wheel that gets grea$ed, and "those girls" are fast becoming reality starlets with publicists and posse's to prove it.I'm not saying this is the way to go, either. What I am saying is that it's a fact that a cat fight translates into TV ratings and magazine covers, and why?

Take for example the Real Housewives franchise. Bravo built an entire TV network on cat fighting, bad behaving, supposed "housewives" who look to have it all and then some. But that wasn't good enough or interesting enough, and the Bravo exec's quickly realized that it was the most controversial housewives, the ones who made those cringe worthy moments happen, that the viewers really wanted to see. They wanted to talk about their bad behavior on social media sites and in blogs and fan the flames for more bad behavior.

Probably the most notorious example of a  Real Housewives cat fight moment was when controversial New Jersey housewife Theresa Guidice famously flipped a table. It was the flip heard around the world.
This clip is NSF and contains expletives.

Theresa then  went on to become even more famous with her "Fabulous" empire of cookbooks and products, and she continues to cash in on her notoriety today. Look at NeNe Leakes from Real Housewive Atlanta. She's parlayed her bad girl, no nonsense, "oh no she didn't" image into a full on Hollywood acting career.

But before the bad behavior on Housewives, there was the man who built his image and fortune on cat fights.  In 1991, a then almost unknown Jerry Springer launched "The Jerry Springer Show". I'm sure the intention of the show's original premise was good info, interviews and discussion, but it's producers soon realized that the shows about tawdry, controversial subjects were leading them to much higher ratings and bigger revenues. 22 years later, the show is simply nothing more than a cat fight boxing ring, complete with bells going off and hair weaves and wigs flying.

With topics like. "You Stole My Man and Then Had His Baby!" and "Bad Girls Oiled Up", it's just a matter of minutes before the fist-a-cuffs come out. Security is present, but they are more like the referee's in the ring, "keeping it clean". Springer even admitted in 2000 to Reuters in an interview, "I would never watch my show. I'm not interested in it. It's not aimed at me. This is just a silly show." Yet he cashes those silly checks.

Is the phenomenon of good girls gone bad enough to keep this detrimental behavior alive in the public eye? The answer remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure. I am part of the problem, not the solution. As long as I continue to watch these train wrecks happen, they will continue to produce them for my/our viewing. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.

Sucking It All In

That's right, she's a billionaire.

I'm sure most people have no idea who Sara Blakely is. I certainly didn't until Sunday, but I know her product.

I know her product oh so well, as it has become a staple; a must have, a do or die fashion element in any smartly dressed woman's wardrobe. Men, ask your ladies because they know what we are talking about. Sara Blakely can count on women all over the world knowing what we are talking about-all the way to the bank.

Sara Blakely created Spanx.

At 41 years old, she is the youngest woman and self made billionaire to ever make the prestigious list. Sara Blakely did something so simple, so brilliant that I couldn't believe that there was one person behind the idea. She re-created the girdle. She modernized a device from our great-gtrandmother's era that was villified and lothed for it's torture.

Sara Blakely changed all of that. She gave us a new name, "shapers" and make them seamless with her own two hands, then patented them with a patent book she bought at Barnes and Noble. Her first account was Nieman Marcus and soon a star was born. Today the Spanx empire boasts hundreds of styles of undergarments like: Booty Booster, The Bra-llelujah, Slim-Cognito, Skinny Britches and Trust your Thinstincts.

Women all over the globe wouldn't dare to get dressed without them. Red Carpet event atendee's have even confessed to "doubling up" on Spanx, and Hollywood regularly includes Spanx products in it's various swag bag events. I, myself will admit that I cannot live without my one, coveted Spanx favorite: The Bra-llelujiah. This garment changed my life, and honestly I will not be without it. It's comfort alone is the sole reason I choose to spend $62.00 on a bra. I have almost every color imaginable and I plan on never facing a day without my Bra-llelujiah.

Herin lies the key to Sara's sucess. She tapped into something that was taboo, forbidden and shameful and she made it modern, chic, comfortable and necessary. She made sucking in our sins a shared ritual for millions of women and in the process she made millions. Or more like billions,

Selling girldles. Who would have ever thought it possible?

I Was Just Thinking.....

You know, this sh*t goes both ways fellas...

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a world not too long ago, a wife's job was to serve her man....
Oh, how the times have changed. The wives and mother's of today have redefined their roles and our fore-mothers fought valiantly for our equality.

Thank you, Gloria Steinem? The woman suffragettes?

These are so REDONK that I had to share them with you.



Ya, millions of housewives today are still taking pep vitamins to get through the day, "cuter". But they are no longer called "pep" vitamins, they are called "perks".

Hmmmm, "for sale by all Druggists".....That hasn't really changed much either.

Ok, so this one gets me crazy. Notice it's a woman's hand with the beer opener? Is she drinking the beer herself? I think not. Again, I'm thinking all the beer cans will open this easy so that a woman can serve her man and his obnoxious buddies....

Are you f-ing kidding me?

See? Our mothers did it and we turned out 1 in 13 alcoholics.

I'm digging this whole James Bond Vibe, but really? And they went with this ad? Don Draper should be fired and the guy here should be kicked in the balls. Just sayin....

That Dastardly Cellulite

I'm talking smack today about cellulite because quite frankly, it sucks. That photo above is of the lovely Eva Longoria, and yes ladies, even Eva has cellulite. And with the summer upon us, we want to get our groove on and show some sexy skin, but that dastardly cellulite always foils the plan. It seems to me there is an epidemic of dimply, lumpy thighs and butts out there and no matter how you eat or how you exercise, the cellulite creeps up on you and gets a hold of your body.

So what the hell is this stuff and how do we deal with it? The first thing to know is that we all have it, even super fit and slim celebs. The degrees are varying and believe it or not, it's not always about fat. It's true that cellulite is fat deposits that cause dimpling on the skin, especially evident in the hips and buttocks area, but it has more to do with the cellular structure of the skin. According to about.com, " It is the structure of the overlying skin and of the underlying connective tissue that determines whether a given area has a smooth or rippled appearance."

Well, isn't that just great? It's a genetic thing.

Ok, so I'll admit that when I google celebrity cellulite all these pics come up with celebs like this, and this, it makes me feel better knowing that these women have cellulite too. I would have showed them here, but you really need to see a BIG picture to get the full effect of the cellulite. Yes, celebrities are human too.

Some days I feel like I work so hard and eat right and yet, I still can't seem to rid my body of cellulite and other days I decide I'm gonna eat that pizza and embrace my dimples and I just say screw it! It is what it is but one thing's for sure, we all have it somewhere. So in the sinking lifeboat that is cellulite, even Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson are right there, going down with us.

So remember that the next time you look at someone and think they are perfect. Somewhere, photo shopped out or hidden by some good lighting, is that dastardly cellulite. Of that we can be certain.

How Bad Does It Have To Get?

You're never gonna believe this one.

This woman, Catherine Kieu Becker, chopped off her husband's pecker.

Really. She did. Then, she threw it in the garbage disposal and turned it on. Evidently, she poisoned her husband's dinner with some sort of hallucinogen that would make him drowsy. Police reports allege that she then tied him to the bed and chopped off his penis, put it in the kitchen garbage disposal and turned it on. She told police, "he deserved it".

Now I gotta ask you, how bad do things have to get for someone to do this? The couple were reportedly going through a divorce. I know a thing or two about divorce and when I was going through it, the last thing I wanted to do was see his face much less make him dinner. Would I have liked to cut off his penis? Maybe, but the thought of getting rid of him for good made much more sense to me.

You can read about it here and wonder just like I did, what this woman was thinking. The only one she's screwed is herself. According to the Associated Press she has been charged with "aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse." One of these charges carries a life sentence.

Was it really worth it? No one knows for sure what goes on behind closed doors but to give in to hate and anger like that only destroys both lives.

It may or may not be that simple, but I say just get out and save yourself.