WTF?

Like my dear departed grandma used to say, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all of the apostles"......

Never one to discusss politics in mixed company, today I'm not really discussing politics, rather complaining about it. This new mess that the US government is engrossed in is just that; a fricken HOLY mess. I'm totally disgusted and I feel like the baby boys who call themselves the decision makers in Washington are acting like a group of spoiled brats who are taking their toys and going home. So where does that leave us? 

I'm so concerned that yesterday I decided to watch, "Meet the Press" so I could learn something tangible to better understand how this debacle will affect my life, our economy and my business. I learned something alright, but it was of no help to me. What I learned is that the Republicans hate the Democrats, the Democrats hate the Republicans, everybody hates the President and the Tea Party hates everyone. Does any of this bullshit political posturing help anyone? Give anyone fiscal confidence? No. It serves to make investors jittery and our stock market loose points. It's bad for all of us and they know it. 

It's like the ultimate gamble and these idiots are playing a game of political "chicken" on this issue, while forsaking the outcome. For Christssake??? Where are the leaders of yester year, who threaten but then break political bread together and hammer it out. Where's good old Teddy Kennedy when you need him? I'm sure he's posturing like a madman up in heaven as we speak. 

For the love of God and all that is HOLY....get your shit together Washington! TODAY! before you ruin all the economic ground we have gained. 

I Was Just Thinking....

What is it about a cat fight?

From an early age, our mothers taught us to act "lady like". Well, most of our mothers, but it was sort of an unwritten rule that a girl should act a certain way. They told us to act demure, speak softly and if we had a point to make, to speak succinctly and assuredly, so as to get our point across. Be eloquent and make people listen to our logic, and above all always keep our emotions in check. At least in public, for one would never want to be considered one of "those girls".

With the dawn of the new Millenium, social media and reality TV, those social mores, taught by years of mothers before us, have basically gone to the dogs...or the cats, because in this day and age, it's the "cat fight" that gets the attention. By today's standards it's the squeakiest wheel that gets grea$ed, and "those girls" are fast becoming reality starlets with publicists and posse's to prove it.I'm not saying this is the way to go, either. What I am saying is that it's a fact that a cat fight translates into TV ratings and magazine covers, and why?

Take for example the Real Housewives franchise. Bravo built an entire TV network on cat fighting, bad behaving, supposed "housewives" who look to have it all and then some. But that wasn't good enough or interesting enough, and the Bravo exec's quickly realized that it was the most controversial housewives, the ones who made those cringe worthy moments happen, that the viewers really wanted to see. They wanted to talk about their bad behavior on social media sites and in blogs and fan the flames for more bad behavior.

Probably the most notorious example of a  Real Housewives cat fight moment was when controversial New Jersey housewife Theresa Guidice famously flipped a table. It was the flip heard around the world.
This clip is NSF and contains expletives.

Theresa then  went on to become even more famous with her "Fabulous" empire of cookbooks and products, and she continues to cash in on her notoriety today. Look at NeNe Leakes from Real Housewive Atlanta. She's parlayed her bad girl, no nonsense, "oh no she didn't" image into a full on Hollywood acting career.

But before the bad behavior on Housewives, there was the man who built his image and fortune on cat fights.  In 1991, a then almost unknown Jerry Springer launched "The Jerry Springer Show". I'm sure the intention of the show's original premise was good info, interviews and discussion, but it's producers soon realized that the shows about tawdry, controversial subjects were leading them to much higher ratings and bigger revenues. 22 years later, the show is simply nothing more than a cat fight boxing ring, complete with bells going off and hair weaves and wigs flying.

With topics like. "You Stole My Man and Then Had His Baby!" and "Bad Girls Oiled Up", it's just a matter of minutes before the fist-a-cuffs come out. Security is present, but they are more like the referee's in the ring, "keeping it clean". Springer even admitted in 2000 to Reuters in an interview, "I would never watch my show. I'm not interested in it. It's not aimed at me. This is just a silly show." Yet he cashes those silly checks.

Is the phenomenon of good girls gone bad enough to keep this detrimental behavior alive in the public eye? The answer remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure. I am part of the problem, not the solution. As long as I continue to watch these train wrecks happen, they will continue to produce them for my/our viewing. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.

Patriots Season Tickets For Sale

I have 2 Pats season tickets for sale.



My wife doesn't want to attend any more of their games as she doesn't like the person who sits in the seat next to us.



I've attached a picture with the view from the seats.



Tickets will be sold to the highest bidder.




Current Bid: $8670.00

Really?

Today is a snow day.

Can you believe that I just told you that? Seriously, today is a snow day for all of us because the storm that hit us over the weekend nearly crippled this area and we are AGAIN without power for days. This time both my husband and I cannot go to work because there is no power and it's only halloween. Last time neither of our businesses were effected.

So what ever happened to Global Warming?

Not around here. It's like Armageddon around here and I feel like I just went through this recently.

Because I did just go through this recently. It was two months ago to the day that Irene hit this area with high winds and downed power limes, leaving us powerless for five days.

Today is day two and I'm optimistic that this will be the end. That power will be restored by tonite, and that this was just a minor bump in the road. I can't ever remember being without power for this long, ever.

I'm moving to Florida....

Scenes From The Life Of A Sports Fan

EXT: Boston living room, in front of TV-Wednesday night, September 28, 2011

This entire exchange takes place via text message between FANNY and DANNY.

While watching RED SOX play in a do or die game, with the RED SOX leading the ORIOLES late in the seventh inning 3-2, the game goes into a rain delay.

7:42 PM EST

FANNY: We have the game on the TV and the iPad on his lap with the Yanks/Tampa game going. This sh*t is crazee..

DANNY: (Danny is in Las Vegas) I'm at work! Can you stand that?

FANNY: Nothing to report except the yanks are up 1-0 top of second. we are scoreless in the top of second.

DANNY: I have game cast but not same. Going to sports book at 5 to watch.

FANNY: I'll keep you posted until then.

8:08 PM EST

FANNY: Texiteriaiaaiaia just hit a grand slam! Yanks 5-0!!

8:25 PM EST

FANNY: Fu*k

DANNY: Yup

FANNY: OK yes

DANNY: I can barely breathe

FANNY: this is NOT fun

DANNY: same score with the yanks

FANNY: yup

9:16 PM EST

FANNY: that was magic

DANNY: What????

FANNY: Lester walks the first two batters of the inning and Scuataro made an unbelievable play for the double play

9:38 PM EST

FANNY: rain delay! do you believe this sh*t??? I can hardly stand that its the 7th. i may KILL myself if i have to wait.

DANNY: unbelievable really, it's like us jews. have to suffer for everything.

FANNY: on Roshoshanna(SP)to boot!

10:04 PM EST

DANNY: Ai did yanks win?

FANNY: Not yet. Yanks tampa 7-2 bottom of 8th

FANNY: Sorry 7-6 bottom of 8th Longoria hit 3 run HR

FANNY: 2outs tying run on base

DANNY:Omg please let the yankees gold on

DANNY: hold

10:47 PM EST

DANNY: Rays tied it up

FANNY:what??????

FANNY: ahhhhh! Noooooooo!

DANNY: nightmare

DANNY: they were one pitch away

FANNY: I'm suckaring someone

DANNY: I'm sick

11:03 PM EST RED SOX game has resumed play

DANNY: every pitch is like a pitchfork to my heart.

FANNY: that SUCKED

11:20 pm EST

FANNY: Papelbon.please be on tonite.

FANNY: Lord.

FANNY: I prominse ill never...

FANNY: if you just see to it...

DANNY: I can barely watch.

DANNY: is pap on?

DANNY: please jesus

12:00 AM EST

FANNY: oh God

FANNY: this is excurciating

DANNY: painful

DANNY: my stomach is in knots

FANNY:Oh please

FANNY: nice

DANNY:oh

FANNY: take us home now

DANNY:oh no

FANNY: JD drew SUCKS

DANNY: drama always

FANNY: all kkkkkkkk's now

FANNY: KKKKKKKKK

DANNY:I think the rays are in scoring position

DANNY: I can't breathe

FANNY: Dan, i can't do this. I'm DYING

DANNY: I could cry like a baby.

FANNY: OK, lets not die. Just finish the inning now.

DANNY: It's like I'm watching from outside my own body & mind

then Papelbon LOST the RED SOX game.

FANNY: this SUCKS

FANNY: over

FANNY: im sick and I wanna die and I'm going to bed

DANNY: now we need the yanks to win

FANNY: I'm out

FANNY:they don't deserve it

DANNY: collapse of a great team

FANNY: I HATE THEM

DANNY: the rays might as well win

Buy Me Some Peanuts And An $80 Hot Dog

No kidding. This is what an $80 hot dog looks like.

The Brockton Rox, a Massachusetts based Can-Am league baseball team, broke the Guinness Book World Record on Saturday when they unveiled and sold this $80 dollar hot dog at their ball park. Holy heartburn.

The "K-O Dog", named for the Rox mascot, is a foot long, half pound of beef, smothered in truffle oil, rolled in prochini mushroom dust, sprinkled with white truffle shavings, then topped with creme fraiche, caviar and roe. I bet that $6.00 dog at Fenway isn't looking too ridiculous now, is it?

The promotion is the brain child of Rox executive chef Ben Glanz and the Brockton Rox are attempting to put their team on the map with the record breaking offering. The previous record for the most expensive hot dog was held by Serendipity 3 in New York that sold a hot dog at $69.00.

The team, which may now be known for selling the most expensive hot dog in the world, has another claim to fame. Their minor league players, a group of virtual unknowns, are managed by one of baseball's most infamous. Former Red Sox first baseman, Bill Buckner, who will forever be known as "the ball through he legs guy", is the Rox manager.

Let's hope they have better luck selling the pricey dog and winning games than Buckner had in 1986.

Now Ain't That Some Sh*t

0-4?? What's this sh*t? Should we hit the panic button?

Firmly sitting in last place in the AL East is not where the projected winner of the World Series should be. That visual this morning made me slightly sick. I read this quote today in the Boston Herald, "No team that started 0-4 has ever won a World Series." But we're not talking about any ordinary 0-4 team. This is the "fully loaded" 2011 Boston Red Sox, and everybody knows that when you count them out, they make you look silly.

Now that's a bold statement coming from a bold Sox fan, and after last night it's more than questionable.

But let's add a dash of reality and not get crazy here because our boys have yet to touch the green grass of their beloved Fenway this season. We've got some time, and looky here, we've got the home opener this Friday which begins a three day home stand with the Evil Empire. Nothing more rejuvenating than a series win over those Damn Yankees.

Then we host Tampa Bay, who last time I checked were dancing at the bottom of the standings with the Sox. So if we do a little simple math here, the Sox have seven games ahead; two more with Cleveland, three with New York and a couple with Tampa. If they take 5 out of the seven against those teams, (which is totally possible) my standing visual becomes much more palpable. Yes? And if they don't we best be hiding the cutlery, just saying.

"We need some kind of spark right now," said newly acquired free agent Carl Crawford after last night's game. A spark? After four games on a brandy new, high hopes season? I hate to break it to you pal but it looks like "we" need a fricken propane tank to light a fire under this team because nobody here likes loosing streaks.

And what if they get their baseball swagger on and win the next seven games? Then we would be in the same place. Yup, we would then be able to comfortably say, "Now ain't that some sh*t!" Here's to hoping for that.

What Did We DO To Deserve This?

I'm in the "Buy Lots Of Booze" part of the map...

Today's Special: Kiddie Crows Feet

Walmart, besides being home to my favorite crayzee's, will launch a new line of cosmetics for the Tween set, girls aged 8-12 called GeoGirl.

Cute? Yes. Crazy? Maybe.

People like me, proprietors of cosmetic products, should be squealing with delight at the prospect of this little gem aimed at tweens, as it makes future cosmetic buyers in training. This equates to future loyal cosmetic customers. All good right?

But something about this seems wrong. Maybe it's what's offered in the line of products that has me in a tizzie. The line boasts to using all natural ingredients like chamomile, lavender and white willow bark to exfoliate and antioxidants. (which fight free radicals-pollutants found in the air) This all seems a little mature, wouldn't you say?

A cleanser? I'm all for that. Learning to take proper care of you skin is a valuable thing and anything that helps young girls start properly cleansing their skin I'm endorsing, but a "mineral blush, liquid2power shadow, feather-lash mascara and a face shimmer". A face shimmer? Why does an eight year old's face need to shimmer? And a feather mascara? What's next? Diamond encrusted false eyelashes? And for the soccer set, matching team color blushes and lip sticks?

Listen, I realize that little girls will always want to experiment with make-up like thier moms, but I'm thinking that that's where it should stay. We run the risk here of sending a message to these girls that they would look better with feather lush lashes, than without.

I think skin care is fine, but when you start training at 8 them to wear mascara, bronzer and eye shadow we quietly create an entire generation of 10 year old Tammy Faye Baker types.

"Susie, it's time to get the bus for school."

"Ok mom, let me just finish putting my face on."

Not good.

Jersey Chic

Is everyone from New Jersey ridiculous?

It seems like this is what the Reality TV world would like us to believe because the residents of that fine state just keep playing it up getting more and more redonk as time moves on. Case in point; The Cast of the Jersey Shore, MTV's latest reality series about a group of over tanned, over worked out, over accented 20 somethings who live together and "have their lives taped to see what happens."

Truth be told I have never seen one episode of this crapola, and yet I know who The Situation, Snookie and the rest of the gang are. Why? They are the punchline to a million and one jokes. And they are clueless-ly ridiculous. And they are all over every tabloid magazine, their every move scrutinized. And they are laughing all the way to the bank. I heard on the RADIO (see I can't even get away from them in the privacy of my own car) yesterday that they just wrapped up their Miami season, which is airing soon, for which they all received a $10 K raise per episode. Only to be asked to resume shooting immediately back in New Jersey at the shore for the third season.

What's funny is the cast is now holding out for more money per episode because they are rolling in it right now, being paid by night clubs that are standing in line wanting them to promote their clubs. They'll get their raise, too. Not too shabby for a group of Jersey townies whose claim to fame is GTL (gym, tanning, laundry).

Then there's these bitches...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey make being bad look good. Not really, but they are like the biggest train wreck that you can't stop watching. They are so bad that one of the housewives quit the show because she no longer wanted to be associated with the villian of the group. And who could forget the infamous table flip? I believe that will go down in Housewives/TV history. Danielle Staub, the housewife who is most hated, has turned gay? Only time will tell, as she breathlessly tells the cameras last night. Yet I can't wait to find out, as much as I hate myself for admitting that.

These ladies live in their own Jersey world and speak their own Jersey speak and each of them lives a charmed life. So they want us to believe. Table flipper Theresa is rumored to have filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy yet we all know she's making bank fighting Danielle for the cameras. I'm sure she's doing it for the well being of her family. Housewife Jacquline has been deleted from the Mother of the Year ballot, for throwing her 18 year-old daughter to the lions and not having her back.

"It's a very serious situation," Danielle says for the cameras. Ya think?

Jacquine's daughtery Ashley has been charged with assualt for pulling out a large portion of Danielle's hair at a country club fashion show turned brawl. She says she was protecting her mother, whom she thought was hit by Danielle. That same mother who brought her daughter to that fashion show and then kicked her out after the altercation telling her to "go home Ashley." Jaquline then waited by the crying victims car and I'm not sure why.

If that were me. I know for a fact my daughter would have been pinned to the ground by me until I got her into the car and drove her ass out of there. Then she would have never left the house again. I'm just saying...All that crazy play for the cameras is one thing but if my child gets involved all bets are off. What is wrong with these people?

Not all Jersey-ites are like these people. I know because one of my best friends, my college roommate hails from West Orange, NJ. She is the anti-Jersey compared to these bimbos. Educated, classy and articulate and intelligent. The only problem is you can never quite take the Jersey completely from the girl.

It always rears it's ugly head when she orders a simple CAAAWFEE, or coffee as it's known everywhere else in the world.

Snoop Jingle Jing

I had to call the vet yesterday about an ailment my pug Jingles has and was told the doctor would call me back. When he did call back, he kept referring to my dog with my full last name, like "This is Dr. Jones calling about Jingles Smith." He'd continue on and then throw it out there again, "Jingles Smith can be seen at our Wayland office....we can fill any prescription for Jingles Smith"

It cracked me up. I realize that they do that in order to link owner to dog, but it got me to thinking what life would be like if dogs ruled the world. Or if Jingles ruled my world.

• Food would be served all day long. Like a cruise ship, buffets of food would be strategically placed throughout the house like various decks on a ship, and the humans would be the servers. Of course.


• Dogs could defecate and relieve themselves wherever and whenever they wanted. Just not where they sleep, if they could help it, and the humans would clean it up without saying a word.





• Dogs would sit at the dinner table, AND the sofa AND the bed AND sleep under the covers...and humans could too, if they didn't get in the dogs way. Humans are great for keeping dogs warm.
  
• Dogs would be driven around until they had enough. Cars would be for a dog's "head hanging out the window" enjoyment and not much else. Also, to be driven to awesome dog parks where they could sniff every tree, bush, blade of grass and other dog's orifice to their hearts content.


• Dogs would talk and humans would not. "Shut that G*d dammed human up!
  
  
  



• Paris Hilton's face would be on a LOST poster.
  
• Cats would not exist. What a waste of life.


• Electric fences would be for the humans and dogs would have secret x-ray vision to be able to see exactly where the electric fence is. "Haahaaa, sucker! You ain't getting me again!"


• There would be no racisim. Dogs come from too many different breeds and colors for any supremacy to exist.


• Humans would have no authority. In my house they don't anyway, but in general...
  
  
  



• In the dog world there would be a caste system. Doggie Rednecks would exist. Meet doggie Daryl and his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl.

• Pugs would rule the world.......or a galaxy far, far away. "Buddy, I am your father..."