VMA Madness

Naked is the new black...or so says Miley Cyrus. This is Miley's latest fashion forward moment at last night's  MTV VMA Awards. And this girl was the evening's host! Hard to believe that just 4 short years ago this girl was a bubble gum, tween queen Disney darling. I wonder if Walt is turning over in his grave?

Taylor Swift and Nicki Manaj show the world that there is no Bad Blood. Were they fighting? I must have slept through that one, but ok, seems they could make up long enough to perform together last night. I would venture to guess the whole thing was made up to sell some records. Amiright?

Since Nicki's not fighting with Taylor anymore, she decided to pick a fight with Miley Cyrus. When accepting her award last night for Best Hip-Hop-Video she ended her speech, throwing it back to Miley by saying "and now back to this bitch who had a lot to say about me in the press the other day." Again, relevance, records and dollars. You think the had a meeting before and staged it? I'd say that was the best "performance" of the night. I give her high marks on her dress, tho. I think she looks beautiful.

Ugggh, them again? And seated front and center last night. Question: Does Kim have a tailor? Because I have the name of someone and she could CLEARLY use one. The ill fitting garment does nothing for her except make her look sloppy. Anyway, her self absorbed husband decided to declare his run for the presidency in 2020 on stage. What the hell? If Donald Trump can run for President and lead the polls why not Kayne?

So not relevant anymore. Britney Spears presented an award last night and I know what all of you were thinking because I was too; washed up, tired and over. It's sad because it would seem that Britney finally has her life together. She's no dummy though. She reportedly made $30 million over the last two years for her Vegas show and just renegotiated a raise for her next run. Reports say she will take home close to $1 million a week. And although she has surpassed expectations selling tickets to her show, I'm not sure it's the MTV crowd that's buying her tickets. My money is on the Bingo junket playing crowd filling her seats.

Yup, she won a bunch of awards again..This lady has the Midas touch! And in a class move, she put to bed forever the Taylor/Kanye feud. Repeating his famous and controversial outburst at the VMA's a few years ago, she declared Kanye's career 'the greatest career of all time', then hugging it out with him for all to see. Class act, that Taylor.

Tuesday Tidbits

• From the "Wait a minute, what?" files: El Chapo Guzman, Mexican drug Kingpin, allegedly threatened Donald Trump via Twitter by Tweeting, “Keep screwing [with us] and I’m going to make you eat your fuc*ing words you lousy white fa**ot,”  Now that would be scary enough, but the unbelievable thing is that El Chapo just recently escaped from PRISON. What the hell? Now escaped convicts are safely tweeting threats? What is the world coming to? Hello Mr. Trump! A bona fide dangerous drug lord, allegedly threatening The Donald via social media. Trump better become accustomed to sleeping with one eye open.

• Ray Donovan Season 3 on Showtime: Best. Show. Ever. The first episode of Season 3 aired on Sunday night and it was AWESOME! I was skeptical because most great new shows sort of start to loose their luster by the 3rd season. The story lines get ridiculous and suddenly it's jumped shark and ratings drop. But this Sunday's Ray Donovan  Episode 1 didn't disappoint, so I'm looking for a great ride down the Ray Donovan rabbit hole this season...

• And speaking of jumping shark: Get this, a great white shark beached itself on a Chatham, MA beach yesterday. A seven foot, juvenile male great white beached itself trying to get a seagull. Witnesses reported that the shark got stranded at low tide and found itself flailing around on dry land where it couldn't swim at all. Beachgoers came to the shark's aid and tried to keep it alive by dumping buckets of water over it in intervals. Once authorities arrived on scene, the shark was towed back to the water about an hour later. Some stated that they thought the shark was dead because it had not moved after it's initial stranding, but once it was towed into the ocean, it flapped it's fins and swam away. Now let's hope that great white learned his lesson and doesn't come back for more.

• Tanorexic: I have a new obsession. Who knew self tan products could be so stunningly GORGEOUS? And simple. Seriously? The new St Tropez self tan products I have in my store, The Candy Bar are by far the easiest and best way to have a natural golden tan without the damaging UVA/UVB rays. The lotions and mousses make application a snap! They are virtually streak-free and since self tan is not an exact science, if you do see a mistake-all that's needed is a re-application over the rare streak to correct it. I'm telling you-I may never be "white" skinned again. I am loving this stuff. 

• Home is where the heart is: Right now I am so enjoying my gorgeous yard. My Guy has seriously done an amazing job landscaping that yard to perfection. He has, year by year, tweaked and pruned and planted so many gorgeous things and it's truly a spectacle to behold. I just had a really nice weekend at the fire pit with friends and it amazes us when we look back at pictures of how the yard used tolook. My Guy has the greenest of thumbs, and for sure he as the greenest of grass. I'm proud to call it my home, but I'm especially proud of him. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

The Pack Mentality

Those five men look like movie stars-don't they?
That's because they are. And it happened in the most incredible way. But that's only part of the story.

These brothers-6 in total (and 1 sister)-grew up in in a 16th floor Manhattan public housing apartment which served for 14 years as a prison for the family. Confined to the cramped apartment under their bizarre father's rule, the family of nine spent most of their lives with no contact with the outside world. The father forbade them to ever leave the apartment and held the only key to the front door. The children were home schooled by their mother, and taught never to communicate with strangers. Their only contact with real world were on necessary, supervised appointments or controlled outings to New York tourist destinations. The children were told to never cut their hair and that the outside world had "bad people in it".

The one privilege the boys father did allow was movies. And they indulged in many movies as their personal form of escape from the hell that they knew as their life. Middle brother Mukunda, was the prop master and he would make items from their favorite movies from things he had lying about the house. The boys would reenact scenes from the movies as a way to feel normal and feel free. Then in January 2010, Mukunda, then 15, decided he needed to escape and see life outside his prison walls.

Little did Mukunda know that that escape-he wore a mask he had made to resemble Mike Meyers from the Halloween movies so that he would not be recognized outside by his father-would change all of their lives for ever. Once outside, Mukunda didn't know his address so he kept the apartment building in his site as he visited a bank and a supermarket. People were afraid so he was soon stopped by police. When questioned Makunda says,

“They started asking, ‘Do you live here? Where are you from?’ And I was always taught to never interact with any people, so I didn’t say anything, you know. I didn’t give them any information on me,” Mukunda recalled.

He was placed on a psychiatric hold and sent to Bellevue Hospital for a week stay, which he loved. It was his first interaction with other people outside his family. When he returned home, his father was no longer in control. The boys then started going out together and on a chance meeting they met film maker Crystal Moselle, who they bonded with over their love of movies. Moselle ended up filming the boys for 5 years and the result is her documentary file "The Wolfpack", in theaters now. The film has bee critically acclaimed and won a Grand Jury prize at  this year's Sundance Film Festival.

Purely coincidence that one of the first people the boys meet is a film maker? I think not. These boys have a whole lot of catching up to do and they are doing it in grand style. Hollywood has come knocking and they ironically were, "ready for their closeup". But at an incredible price.

Bye, Bye... Miss American Idol

It was announced today that the next season of American Idol, the 15th season, will be it's last. It is the end of an American institution, to be sure, but I think we can all agree it is time to put this one out of its misery. First debuted on Fox in June 2002, American Idol created a sensation from the moment the first episode aired. 

American Idol once was a national obsession. Years ago, myself and several other bloggers would write re-caps and enjoy handicapping every minute of the Cinderella story played out in real time. I used to LOVE to watch Idol every week and root for my favorite talent to win. It was a family affair, as we would all gather together to enjoy the excitement of Idol. It was magic, watching everyday people become singing sensations each week. Thorough it's tenure, Idol has produced two bonafide recording stars; Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Then a string of 11 almost stars, some more forgettable than others. American Idol introduced us to Simon Cowell, the celebrity judge we all love to fear. If Simon said something, one was hardpressed to forget it and his advice helped launch the careers of many aspiring stars. 

The judges, they became like family. A cuckoo, crazy family with a stern father (Simon), a beautiful but dizzy mother (Paula), a groovy big brother (Randy), and the voice of reason. (Ryan) Then they got too famous...the judges almost became the focus more than the talent. There was fighting within producing staff...it was documented that the franchises marquee talent-Simon Cowell- wasn't happy and was looking elsewhere. Then Paula left and then Simon left and no matter who they replaced them with Idol was never the same without Simon.

Is that when Idol jumped the shark? 

Possibly, but my guess is it jumped the shark some where in between Season 4 and Season 8. Too many talented folks elimated early-conspiracy theories abound-and America's favorite show never quite rebounded. The hand writing was on the wall, yet it soldiered on, banking on America's belief in the dream. They bled that franchise for every dollar it was worth and they weren't smart enough to stop the bleeding. They hired new celebrity judges-big names with big followings-they changed the format countless times, yet Idol never delivered the goods after Season 4. They never delivered another true American Idol. 

In the end, we enjoyed it for what it was worth-but nobody like a guest who overstayed their welcome. 

Bye bye American Idol. Your time has come.

I Was Just Thinking...

• About the whole Bruce Jenner thing....I think he's finally being true to himself and possibly trying to use his celebrity to do some good. Great for him, but right now I can't help feeling bad for Kris Jenner. I know what you're thinking...she's a money monger who will do anything-including treating her husband like a dog on a TV camera for ratings-but I gotta think this whole "I'm really a woman" thing sorta rocked her calculated world. Sources say she knew from the beginning of their relationship, but he certainly put on a good show for many years. They had two children of their own and raised six kids together. 23 years is a heck of a long time to put on a show. I get it when she says "I have these memories of this life, and I feel sometimes like it doesn't exist." All I can say is I get it. When someone you think you know turns out to be someone you don't know at all, it literally shakes your entire foundation. I think the media has been unfair to her. What's she supposed to say, besides voicing her support?

• About A Rod hitting his 660 th career home run tying Willie Mays at Fenway Park a few days ago. It came amid boos-and virtually no fanfare. Not even a mention of the milestone on the outfield board-a screen notorious for broadcasting even the slightest minutia during a game. The Yankees have stated that they will NOT pay the contractual $6 million dollar bonus they agreed to when he reached this milestone before he was suspended for drugs. Is it fair? Is it right? Facts are what they are...Rodriguez tested positive for performance enhancing drugs a year ago and was suspended for the entirety of last season, leaving an asterisk on his name in the record books forever. This one may get ugly, as the players union says it will step in on behalf of ARod, but I think the Yankees have the upper hand here. ARod did the crime, now he's gotta do the time. ARod*

• About how I have been sick almost the entire month of April. I got one horrid cold right on top of another horrid cold. I'm thinking WTF? Then it dawns on me. Allergies? Yes, it very well could be allergies. I've never been bothered by allergies before but I'm thinking this is quite possibly the culprit. Allergies + stress = horrible combination.

• About how my favorite TV series, "Nurse Jackie" is back! Edie Falco is such a great actor, and the entire cast is phenomenal. This is Season 7 and I have yet to miss one episode!! Jackie has let her drug use ruin most of her life,  but the things that she does to stay relevant are horrible and dangerous, yet I can't stop watching this whole ride! With the beauty of On Demand, you can catch up with ever crazy, depraved thing that Jackie has done. I highly recommend it. 

• About how Spring has finally arrived! When I see that groundhog...I'm gonna ring his neck!

When Did The Flip Phones Flip Flop?

So lately I've been binge watching "Breaking Bad" on Netflix. It's quite possibly my favorite TV series of all time, but I've noticed a curious fact while watching.

Everyone on the show has a flip phone...

So I thought about this for a second and I realized that not only do they have flip phones on this show but NO ONE texts each other. In fact, I am currently on the very last season of the 5 season blockbuster and so far there has been only one text message read in context to the plot and it was on Season 5 circa 2013. I then looked back at the air dates of each of the seasons and I started to understand the flip phone thing a bit better. The Pilot episode first aired in January 2008 and the series then progresses over the next 5 years to it's final episode that aired on Sept 29th 2013. The iPhone didn't launch till 2007 and it revolutionized the mobile device industry over the next few years.                    

So then I got to thinking...where are the "smart phones"on the show? Where are the iPhones and why aren't the cast constantly checking their emails and Facebook updates on their phones during the episodes? Why are they not texting each other incessantly like we all do now? I had to think about it. Not even in the later episodes dating 2011 and later, does the phone become a central part of the plot?

When did the "smart phone" revolution start? There's no question that we are now a mobile device driven society. Do you check your email on you cell phone? Do you use a social media site on your cell phone? If you answered yes to both of those questions then you are a living, breathing adult that functions in the world today. Even my dad, just this morning, texted me something important. So much a part of our everyday society today that 48% of all online sales come from a mobile device.

So I gotta ask again? When exactly did the smart phone revolution take over?

Monday Minutia

• Saw a post on FB that cracked me right up. It said, "If Mondays were shoes, they'd be Crocs"

• And on that note, the funniest thing I ever saw on Twitter was a tweet from a dude who said, "Whoever just left me a voice mail, could you send me a text and let me know if I should listen to it?" 

• So all the weather people here are foaming at the mouth over the fact that we need 2" more of snow to break the record for the snowiest winter ever. I'm thinking, really? Tell that to the thousands of us here dealing with ice dam damage and seasonal depression..

• I'm almost finished with the 3rd season of "Breaking Bad". Why did I never watch this show when everyone was telling me I had to? I'm now obsessed! This is the greatest thing on television! I love the whole dynamic between Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. And Aaron Paul's, " Yo, where's my money?...Bitch!" Interesting to note: "Breaking Bad" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the Highest Rated TV Series.

• The Boston Herald reported that My Tommy is thinking that after he retires from football, he may go the Hollywood way, via an acting career. I say whatever My Tommy is selling...I'm buying.

Sheer perfection...I'd pay to watch him recite the alphabet.

Hollywood's Golden Girl

I like this lady. There is something about her that draws me in.

Maybe its because she strikes me as the kind of person who just doesn't give a sh*t.
Maybe it's because she's interesting and beautiful and has always been on the outer cusp of Hollywood-like she's been there all along-but not quite.
Maybe it's because she looks and acts like she knows exactly who she is.
And maybe because she just kicked everyone's ass this awards season.

Patricia Arquette is boss lady. The thing is, she always has been. Most recently as TV's The Medium, which had a 6 year run, and up next CSI:Cyber, it's safe to say she has been quietly succeeding in the complicated maze of the acting world. One of a family of Hollywood types-her famous siblings, Rosanna, Richmond, Alexis and David, are well known themselves for various reasons-acting being the common denominator. But there's something about Patricia, and Patricia right now.

I'm not talking about her Oscar acceptance speech either, although that just adds another dimension to her appeal. I'm talking about how she carries herself. She's every woman. She's feminine and relatable because she possesses an elegant beauty that can't be found in a hair and makeup room. She is a beautiful woman, of that there is no doubt, but she is a beautiful woman on what appears to be her own terms. She doesn't conform to Hollywood standards and she doesn't have to. She set the bar for herself and it works for her.

If she's selling, I'm buying. I read that she was strongly considered for the Dorothy Boyd character in "Jerry Maguire" so to Patricia I will say this, you had me at hello.....

When TV Is Good, It is Very Very Good And When It is Bad It Is Horrid

I found myself in the unusual position of being home last night on the sofa at 7 PM. What a joy, I thought, I can catch up on all my TV. I watch lots of things and since On Demand and Netflix have rocked my TV viewing world I find that binge watching at my leisure is pure heaven.

But last night...

Well, I have to tell you that last night I watched an hour of the best television I have seen in a long time.

A long time.

To be specific, I watched more that an hour of TV last night, but the second hour was incredible. I first watched HBO's "The Newsroom" which is written and created by Aaron Sorkin. In my humble opinion Sorkin is the KING and someone whom meeting/working with would be on my bucket list. That being said, last night "The Newsroom" was really good. I'm only sorry that this is the last season, after an only three season run. But what I saw next just about killed me.

Next on my queue was Showtime's "Homeland". It is one of my favorite shows for various reasons but last night. It. Blew. Me. Away. Never a show to disappoint, there was something so special about the latest episode that I can only describe how it hit me.

I crumbled up in a ball.
And I squished my blanket in my face to shield me from the events taking place in front of me.
And my heart was beating like crazy.
"Holy sh*t, holy sh*t, holy sh*t" I kept repeating to myself, the drama almost too intense to handle.
I even talked/shouted to the TV, yet I was frozen in place.
And just when I thought I could hardly take one more second...
It threw in a curve ball so intriguing that it left me panting for more.

I love it when that happens.

If you're a fan and you saw it I'm sure you will agree. I can hardly wait for the next episode. I have so many questions and I'm fully invested in the show at this point. And that's exactly what they set out to do.

Bravo Showtime. Well done.

The Best Penis Wins!

So my BFFITWWW (My BFF in the whole wide world) are texting one morning last month about how Josh Elliot was leaving GMA!!??

We were pissed.

The following conversation took place on Monday, March 31, 2014

MY BFFITWWW: "Our boyfriend Josh is leaving gma" "Going to nbc sports station or something"

CANDY: "I saw that this morning! I hate it when they shake up gma"

MY BFFITWWW: "I know I'm still not over loosing sam champion and now George is the only penis-they need to bring in another man to off set."

CANDY: "I AGREE (insert emojis here of smiley face laughing so hard it's crying)

Then-on Wed April 2, 2014:

CANDY: "(I sent a link to the news story that Michael Strahan was in talks to join GMA) Now that's a good penis!!"

MY BFFITWWW: "Ooooohhhhhh that is great news!!! I love him!"

CANDY: "Yup..he's sassy."

Today April 23rd, 2014 Mr. Michael Strahan debuted on GMA!!
The best penis won! I couldn't be happier because I'm a huge Michael Strahan fan. As you can see HERE.

Thanks GMA, we needed some fine testosterone to compliment George the straight man and we think you chose just the right one!

Let The Sunshine In

• With such a warm and gorgeous, sunny Saturday, I was struck by how many of us were "amazed" by the warm weather. It has been so cold here for so long that we forgot what good weather felt like....

• Frick and Frack spent the weekend together in NYC. Yes, I know they are old enough to handle it without Mama and the fact that I called and texted them both six thousand times has nothing to do with the fact that they ignored 90 percent of those calls and texts. Does it?

• Busy week for me. I have one of the biggest days ever at The Candy Bar on Wednesday..,wish me luck!

• I can hardly believe it has been a year since the Boston Marathon bombings. This week the news media of the world will descend on our fair city to tell the amazing stories of the victims and survivors. I pray God will keep the city safe and watch over us as we commemorate the tragic events of last year. I personally believe that this year's Boston Marathon will probably be one of the safest places in the world to be during the race. 

• I baked two incredible pies for Easter yesterday. Jus sayin...

• Looking forward to seeing "The Other Woman". Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Brooklyn Decker all team up to bring down Leslie Mann's cheating husband. I have a personal interest in infidelity since I have experienced it first hand. Cheating men are scum and deserve everything bad that happens to them because karma is a bitch and you don't want to piss off a bitch who is pissed off. I love it when Hollywood dramatizes the sweet vindication!

• Nurse Jackie on Showtime is BACK....speaking of bitches who you don't want to piss off..

Fashion Perfection

Last night's Golden Globes marks the beginning of Hollywood's 2014 Red Carpet Season which stretches all the way thru to the big finale at the Academy Awards in March. There were many high's and a few lows, so here's how I saw it!

Breathtaking, stunning and absolute red carpet fashion perfection is how I saw Lupita Nyong'os red Ralph Lauren creation. She took my breath away and I LOVE it when a fashion does that. This girl has the body of a fashion model and I cannot wait to see what her next red carpet number will be. Stunning....

Poor Lena. She looks like a young girl crammed into a grown woman's fashion that she really feels uncomfortable in. This Zac Posen might have been better served on another star, but on the upside, she looks the part of a Golden Globe nominee. Points for that, but where she misses is the fit and the color. This color is stunning-just not on her- and that's ok. They just should have told her. And while I prefer a tight fitting gown on Lena over a large silhouette, she is jammed in here so tight I'm not sure Lena thinks she will make it through the whole night securely. And it shows...

America's sweetheart took a trendy turn in a Prabal Gurung color blocking gown. The gown is lovely on her. Well fitting and fresh, but not very memorable. The thing about Sandra last night that puts her on my best dressed list was her face.. Her makeup and hair was flawless which sets the tone here. She looked so beautiful and soft, she actually belies her advanced age in Hollywood standards.

The youth of Hollywood speaks! And I love what they have to say. Fresh and different, yet stunning and sexy is how I would describe Emma Watson's Dior creation. From the front, it covers fully but sports a gorgeous slit, and from the back it really packs a punch. The House of Dior really know their stuff and I spot a  new fashion trend coming! 

Reece can do no red carpet wrong and last night was no exception! This aqua Calvin Klein design was like liquid paint on her, and her hair and makeup were right in line with the minimalistic beauty of her gown. Kudos to her.

It's a good thing Amy Adams is such a great actor, because this Valentino is just wrong...Naked. She looked naked from the side especially and it made me a bit uncomfortable. Didn't we see enough of this fashion on her on the big screen in American Hustle? I'm not sure why she felt the need to re-cycle the look for herself. It's just bad. Period. Note to Amy's Glam Squad: Her lipstick needed to be darker. I would have used Kevyn Aucoin's Blood Roses Lipstick which is a modern, fresh black cherry color that would have worked perfectly. 

Kate Blanchette-a gorgeous creature in general, this Armani Prive lace number just set her apart from the pack. Why? It's simple elegance showcased Kates own elegance in a way that made her look regal. Was she my choice for best dressed last night? No, but she's top 3 for sure.

Hmmmm. My first thought is why? Jennifer Lawrence wore white to last year's Academy Awards and why wear it again? This was not my favorite, but it was not altogether bad, just off for me. I would have expected more from her, Rachel Zoe and Dior. 

Who is this girl? She is BREATHTAKING. Margot Robbie is possibly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her Gucci creation is stunning and form fitting and perfect on this beauty. She's just perfection from head to toe. I think my girl crush is showing. 

A Sharon Stone moment this is NOT! Sharon Stone made a splash at the Oscars in 2009 when she paired her husbands white dress shirt with a Vera Wang skirt. This is not that. Ouch..Julia, this (pardon the expression) SUCKS. Bad. Not only is it terrible, ill fitting and WRONG, but that crystal belt? Oy Vey. What the hell is that? Dolce? Are you paying attention to what Gabbana is doing? Was anybody paying attention? Obviously not. 

And last but certainly not least, my favorite of the night! I may be wrong here but Diane Keaton stole the show. Diane came out to accept Woody Allen's Cecile B. Demille Award she was eloquent, reflective, endearing and stunning. I know that this gender bender suit is Diane's signature look, not anything we haven't seen before, but that particular suit with her stunning and perfectly sexy coiffed hair and glasses? She was gorgeous! I'm now looking for a suit like that for me. I LOVED IT!

Just one girl's fashion opinion here. What did you think?

I Was Just Thinking...

So have you heard about this thing?

It's called a SlingBox and I'm thinking about purchasing one. Slingbox works with placeshifting technology. Placeshifting technology allows you to watch your own, paid for programming from anywhere in the world using your laptop, pc or smartphone. Sounds cool huh?

Using Slingbox software, users can, get this: view live and recorded content, pause, record, fast forward and DVR all of their favorite recording from wherever they are IN THE WORLD! It even works in the same household, which gets rid of the need for a second cable box and or subscription.

I like it! My Guy will love it! He's a technology freak and this thing is an amazing piece of incredible technology. It turns any computer, tablet or smartphone into a second TV, with your own programming at your fingertips. So what's the catch?

It's pricey..

There are two models:
Slingbox 350- $179.00-which gives you pretty much all you would need, delivering your paid for programming in HD.

Slingbox 500-$299.00- which does all that and allows you to add and archive your own videos and photos.

As a Father's Day gift, this thing is going to be a huge hit! And I'm thinking My Guy will have an absolute field day playing with this thing. I should probably get the 500-
Do any of you own one of these?
What do you think of it?

Help me out here-
Which one should I get bloggers??

He's Bringing Sexy Back

I'm sorry but sexy is sexy is sexy is sexy.

So today I'm sayin' "Hey hey" to Michael Stray. That would be Michael Strahan, the retired NFL football star who is now Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host on the morning talk show"Live with Kelly and Michael".

I like Michael enough. He is extremely affable, articulate and as co host a great addition to morning TV. But here's the thing: I hardly ever watch that show. I just so happened to catch it the other day when the TV was left on and I saw the video above, live.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.
Dead sexy.

Sorry fellas, the dude got game and I'm a sucker for a big strong man. Mama likey, and I now see Mr. Strahan in a completely different light.

And he's looking good.

Now don't get me wrong, I won't be lusting after him cuz there's only one man that makes my heart go pitter patter for real (and his name is NOT Tommy). No thanks, I'm all set in the sexy man department. All I'm saying is sexy is sexy is sexy.

And Damn! if Michael Strahan ain't sexy.

Useless Tidbits

• So there were two Powerball winners, one in Arizona and one in Missouri. Some people have all the luck. I'll just keep telling myself that 500 million dollars would have screwed my life up anyway. Right?

• I was watching the XFactor last night and I have decided that Britney Spears is either dumb as rocks or on some serious drugs. The chick is seriously off, like really off. Sad. 

• Seriously disgusted by this story. Quick recap: Young couple from New Hampshire allegedly beat and burned the young girl's 3 year old son so badly that the doctors feared he was blinded. About a week ago they dropped the child off at a local hospital and took off. The child is fighting between surgeries, and expected to make a long recovery. The authorities found them yesterday in, get this: Universal Studios in Orlando. 5 Words: (and they aren't nice words) HUNG. UP. BY. THE. BALLS.

• Frick told me something interesting when she was home this weekend. She, being a freshman in college, just got to see her old high school friends for the first time this school year over the weekend. She told me that quite a few of them started smoking. I found this interesting because my theory is this: these kids live a sheltered life. Even though they do a hell of a lot more than I think they do, they've probably never been exposed to many smokers. What do you think?

The Big O

As much as I hate to admit this, I've missed her.

In the end, I really didn't watch her much. Mainly because I have a job, but if I were home and it was 4pm Opie was on my TV. Then there was that extra special interview that I really didn't want to miss, so I would set the DVR and watch it later. There really is no one like her and as invincible as she once was on TV, the move to her OWN network has been the dimming of her once bright superstar.

But don't feel bad for Oprah.

Because just when I thought it was over for her, she goes and does something exciting. Tomorrow Oprah will guest co-host Good Morning America, of which I am a most loyal viewer. GMA is the home of Robin Roberts, who is battling a rare blood disorder and has taken an extended medical leave from her job as co-anchor of GMA to receive a bone marrow transplant. Oprah is one of several stars to fill for Robin at the anchor chair, including Katie Couric, Barbara Walters, Diane Saywer and and Amy Robach.

Yesterday, GMA kicked off it's revolving guest co-host with Jessica Simpson who, sorry, SUCKED. Her silly and stupid act is very unflattering and it just makes me think that its not an act. But Oprah? The Queen of Media was once a TV anchor and I, for one, am excited to follow along with her as she navigates me through my morning.

So yeah, I've missed her.

And I wish her a great broadcast tomorrow, but I don't think she's going to need it. I think she's going to do exactly what she does best and do it well.

We Were A Groovy Bunch

Every time I see this show it brings me back to my childhood. A happy time in my life, being the youngest of five, I sometimes caught a similarity to the Brady's life and the one that I was living. I could relate, which is probably why it was one of my favorites. I would be the Cindy in my family, and I can compare almost every Brady to one of our family. They had one more than we did, but we were nonetheless every bit as super goofy and fun as the Brady's.

Dare I say, we were a bit more sinister. 

My older brother and sisters were more daring than Marcia, Greg and Jan. They used to steal mom and dad's cars, have rousting parties when they weren't home and smoke cigarettes and drink beer with their friends in the pool area after dark. The Brady's would never do that. Or the Brady's would never do that on TV. My brothers used to fight till someone drew blood, yet you know that Peter absolutely idolized Greg and would never come to blows with him. 

Yes, my sisters fought over clothes and boys, and I remember the vicious battles over the sweaters, but Jan and Marsha always shared their stuff peacefully. Or so it seemed. In my family those "sharing" issues between sibling still remain today. In the TV world of the Brady's family issues were dealt with in 30 minutes or less. Is there a Brady playbook for handling teenage angst in 30 minutes or less?  It would be no less than literary gold.

So what did we learn from Mike, Carol, Alice and the clan, and why were we so mesmerized by this pseudo TV family? The answer lies in our idealization of the American family. The Brady's epitomize the traditional American family, because they are were not traditional at all. They were a blended family yet never was the word "step" used to describe a Brady. In fact, after the beginning theme song was over, you forgot that "this group must somehow form a family" and you bought into their world. Part of every kid who watched and worshiped them, wanted to be one of them. 

And so, in our own way, we too were like the Brady's. My family posed for a secret anniversary picture for mom and dad, we wrote letters to our favorite football heroes to help out a sibling, we got our noses broke by an errant ball here and there, and we may have used the words, "far out" and "groovy" to describe life. But most of all I think that in the archives of our lives, deep down, the Brady's gave us the validation that family was what mattered. Their tales and antics made ours seem special. That we too, were sort of like them. 

And every time I catch it on TV Land, I have to watch it. It brings me an unexplained peace that I never knew existed. It's a peace that only a child feels when they know they are loved and that they are safe. 

Time To Change

If you grew up around the same time as I did, you definitely remember the TV show "The Brady Bunch" which was a huge part of my childhood. Now an adult and mother, I recently had occasion to bring one of those legendary episodes to mind. My boy Frack, almost 16 years-old, is currently experiencing an extreme, pubescent changing voice. It would seem that for me, life has imitated art.

It started a few months ago and very slight at first. I would hear the high pitch in his voice when he was talking, but just slightly and only sprinkled in conversation here and there. I even mentioned to him that I thought his voice might be changing, to which he made no comment to confirm it. After spending last week's vacation with the family, we are no longer searching for a cute, minimal pitch change here and there. Frack is in the middle of a full on, four alarm, squeaky, pitchy, voice change.

Frack was having a conversation with my dad, when he tried to casually call his name,

"Pa-PA?" The squeak in his voice, surprising even him.
"What the hell was that?" Frack replied.

We, of course, laughed and offered him our support. Throughout the week, it would pop into conversation. He would stop mid-sentence, revealing his frustration over this inconvenient rite of passage. Now he can't wait for it to be over.

Who really knows for sure how long it will take for the process to complete, but I'm sure Frack will roll with it until then. Just like those crazy Brady's say," it's time to re-arrange who you are into what you're going to be."

Sei No Evil

I missed Glee last night, so no FAB recap today, but did you see this?

Click the play button, I'll wait.

That was the "live" shot just outside the Grammy's and the reporter, Serene Branson, obviously struggling to speak, is now saying she suffered a seizure during a live shot when she was reporting from the Grammys on Sunday. Sources report that immediately following the garbled report, she was fine and received a check from paramedics at the scene, but experts are saying otherwise. Some believe that a deep rooted medical problem may be to blame for the incident.

Some speculate this was caused by a mini seizure and others wonder if it was the result of a slight stroke, brought on by prolonged exposure to bright and sometimes flashing lights. One thing is for sure, she couldn't wrap her brain around the words she needed to speak.

Having been in front of the camera once or twice in my life, I can speak from experience when I say, adrenaline, nerves and inexperience could be the culprit here. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that this was her first "big shot" at a live shot. In her mind she had her career riding on this 15 second moment in front of the camera and she knew it. Panic and his evil cousin Anxiety might have chosen just that moment to wreak havoc on the poor woman, and once you open the floodgates to those two, the result could look something like this. If you've ever experienced a panic attack, you know exactly what I mean. I'm just sayin. This is my theory, cuz I've been there.

There are those who would say that to explain this away by diagnosing this as a simple panic attack is dangerous and reckless at best. I am certainly not a medical doctor nor do I play one on TV, I'm simply implying that if an extensive medical check up provides no evidence of a serious, underlying medical condition, that common condition called anxiety could be to blame. Look at all those "Funniest Home Videos" that show brides and grooms on their wedding day, garbling their vows and speaking in unrecognizable language. Some even fainted from the anxiety. It's a possibility.

I hope for Serene Branson's sake that this is the case, because I think at one time or another, we've all been there in some way.

Killing Time

The older I get the more I feel like I'm just here, killing time. Somedays, I look at the clock and it's already half past the day and I feel like I got nothing accomplished. But then again, what was it that I really set out to do? Good question.

Anyway, when the dinner table has been cleared and the dishes have been done, I know what it is I set out to do and that's watch a little TV and get lost in a fictional reality. It's really one of my life's simpler pleasures. And this week is a doozy! Premier week! All of my favorite shows are back and better than ever.

Let's take a look at my weekly viewing schedule:

MONDAY: 8pm, House on Fox. I have watched this show since it's inception. I love that curmudgeon Dr House. He's so intriguing.

Last night I watched the new Fox show, Lonestar at 9pm on Fox. I really liked it! It's about a young, handsome con-man living a double life. His problem is his greedy, dangerous father, played by David Keith.He's the guy who starred in "An Officer and a Gentleman" as Sid Worley, Richard Gere's best buddy who killed himself. Good stuff. This show could be big.

10pm, CSI:Miami on NBC

10pm,Weeds on Showtime. I never quite make it to 10pm so I DVR this one and watch it on Tuesday's before Glee.

TUESDAY: 8pm, Glee on Fox. DO I really need to say how much I LOVE this show??? Tune in on Wednesday for The Daily Dandy's Full Glee recap. Huge fan.

8pm, NCIS on CBS. Nothing can keep me from Glee on Tuesday nights, so I usually wait until Wednesday to watch NCIS on On-Demand.

WEDNESDAY: Nothing on Wednesday has really caught my attention, so here's where I catch up on the Kardashians, or watch whatever else I haven't seen on the DVR yet.

THURSDAY: 9pm, CSI on CBS. This used to be the best show on television, but it's played out and old. Ever loyal, I continue to watch because I love the characters and I am now invested in their plight, however old it may seem. BUT, CSI still has some magic left in it's top hat. Every once in a while it blows me away with an episode. That's why I still watch it.

FRIDAY AND SATURDAY: It's either date night or Dateline NBC night. Sometimes those true crime stories keep me awake at night, and sometimes the kids watch it with us and usually its a good lesson to teach them about the sickos in this world. Or we'll watch a movie.

You'd think I could find a better way to kill some time, right? Like read a classic book or a magazine like the New Yorker, right? Or knit my family some scarves, hats and mittens for the winter. Last time I checked, the only magazine that comes to my house that gets read immediately is the US Weekly.

Yup, the older I get the more I feel like I am just here, killing time.