Save The Drama For Your Mama

So I had some people around me recently that got into an all and out, "I hate that beeyotch" and "She's just a bit*ch!". Drama....

I have been left to choose my words carefully to each of them and be very deliberate about not getting involved. The thing is, I happen to love both of these people and I just happen to be in the unfortunate position of being the common denominator between them. So #1 is pissed at #2 and #2 is pissed at #1 and I'm smack dab in the center of this sh*t storm. Both of them have tried to talk to me on separate occasions about the other one, at which time I have had to ask them to not involve me. And when they continue, I am left to distract myself with my mobile device or Facebook (that's what it's for, right?).

I have my opinions on the issue, but I'm not going to share them with either of them. So get this...the fact that I won't comment on the issue is causing them to throw shade at me??? WTF? I have nothing to do with the issue! It is completely between them and I have nothing to do with it and somehow I've found myself caught in the cross hairs.

Don't make me go all Theresa on you're asses!  And figure the sh*it out and leave me out of it.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Joke provided by Coolfunnyjokes.com

The Domino Effect

My high school friend sent this email to around 18 of us yesterday and within 15 minutes my inbox was flooded with requests for a "Girls Weekend Away". Needless to say, we are now going away as a group in March.

Why females should avoid a "Girls Night Out" after they are married.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed. 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'. He didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'Oh, shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

The Bad Girls Club

Since I am stuck home convalescing, TV has become my best friend. Yesterday I caught a marathon on the Oxygen Network of the reality show, "The Bad Girls Club". Hee hee, this show sucks HARD, but I LOVE IT!! This is the most perfect, mindless, ridiculous garbage I think I have ever seen on TV. Perfect for the horizontal state I am stuck in. The show is described on the web site as:

Bad just got good on Oxygen with the third season of the hit reality series from the producers of The Real World. This season takes bad behavior to the next level with a cast of young women who are independent, spirited, and endlessly entertaining.
Bad Girls Club brings seven self-proclaimed "bad girls" together in a beautiful Los Angeles mansion, and drama reigns supreme. All the girls, ranging in age from 21 to 25, have a unique story, point of view and attitude -- as well as some kind of personal issue that makes them far from perfect. Will living together help them move forward and turn their lives around -- or will chaos rule?

Did I hear that right?? THIRD SEASON? Damn, what kind of Bad Girl's antics have I been missing?

The common denominator with these girls is big attitude, and the producers are betting on it. The whole point of the show is to throw these "bad girls" together and see what happens. They fight with each other (and any one else who looks thier way), name call, get naked, strip (in a strip club), have sex, get drunk, puke, pull hair and throw big, dangerous things at each other.

One of the seven girls, Whitney, is from Boston, a fact that she is most proud of. (can't say that I blame her) The producers, or should I say producaaah's, I'm sure, chose Whitney for her command of the regional vernacular. I literally cringe every time she utters a sentence in her "pissa" Boston accent. (we don't really sound like that- well, maybe if I were stuck in a room full of Whitney's-but I doubt it)

Check out this fight Whitney and Kayla have. These bi*ches mean bizness!

http://o2.oxygen.com/player/?id=885501

The show airs on Tuesday nights at 10 pm on the Oxygen Network. They have a website and their own blogs!! HA! As if being young, hot and despicable gave you your 15 minutes of fame. Oh wait, for these seven, it did!

Gotta go now...I recorded last night's NEW episode. Tiffany-the "sort of house" leader declares war on Kayla. This should be good!