Is It Wrong That I'm Jealous?

Of course it's wrong!!! Sometimes I don't even recognize myself....

I'm sure you've seen this by now. It's the most insane thing I have ever seen!
Yet, I find myself longingly watching this kid's technique. He's got it down.

It's so disturbing and wrong, yet I can't look away. He reportedly smokes 40 cigarettes a day which amounts to a two pack a day habbit. Sounds pretty expensive, and super bad for this child's health, but his father says, "I don't see the problem".

And I still can't look away.

It's just so rediculous, that I'm mesmerized by the image of this child smoking a cigarette. It's so crazy watching this baby smoke and I know by posting it here, watching it over and over again I am contributing to the glorification of this tragedy.

Yet I can't stop myself. May God bless us both!

Happy Memorial day weekend bloggers! Lay off the butts this weekend, if you can.

It's Over Between Us

I'm done with you.

WE are no longer a WE as in, you and me.

I've decided that I'm better than you and that I know better. I left you some seventeen years ago when I was young and had plenty to live for. But when the horrid events of the "Big D" happened 4 years ago, I sought you out for comfort. And you didn't disappoint. No, you were there to give me the satisfaction and comfort I needed. The proper crutch that numbed out the pain. And we rekindled our old love affair again. Just you and me.

I guess I need to thank you for that because you kept me from doing "stupider" things. I guess even then I knew better, but when it came to you, I was weak. You offered me a casual danger that fed my edgy side and fueled my addiction. And you got me through the worst times providing the perfect shoulder to cry on no matter how hard I cried. Slowly you gave me my strength back, because I knew I could count on you to always be there for me. I could control you.

But what I realized is that I couldn't control me when I was around you. And as life got better, I shouldn't have needed you any more. But still, I kept you close. I never wanted to let you go because I was afraid I wouldn't be OK without you in my life. And that you controlled me more than I wanted to admit. You smell, you look bad, you're dirty and I hate that I love you so much. But I love me more, and you've overstayed your welcome for far too long.

I chose November 1st and I stuck to it; just 24 hours free of you.

Will I make it? I pray to God I do. But somehow, I think the worst is over. I think that if I can make it through your little reminders in my head throughout the day, clean, that I will succeed and I will survive. You're just a bad habit and habits are made to be broken.

And soon you will just be a distant memory of a love we once shared.