What? Wait? Again?

Am I the only one who is shocked by the latest Tiger Woods news that his break up with Lindsay Vonn was due to the fact that he cheated with a "faceless, nameless, woman"?

I think I am.

I had to Google the news yesterday because I hadn't heard about it on the gossip pages of a trash magazine. That's surprising, don't you think? On the contrary, I actually believed the official statement put out by Lindsay's people that the breakup was due to the fact that they both "lead incredibly hectic lives that force us to spend a majority of our lives apart". It made sense to me. What a fool I am. Or maybe what a fool Lindsay is, but I was sure this time was going to be different. He knew the world would be watching, and they were. apparently he was seen with the woman and decided to "come clean" (no pun intended) to Lindsay about it.

A Tiger never changes his spots...does he?

A good life lesson for all of us.

Friday Funny

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1

What can I do?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to download
Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the applications Jewelry 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be downloaded into your system.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are unsupported applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Fat Bottomed Girls

Is there any truth to the saying in the song, "Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round."? Being somewhat of a "fat bottomed girl" myself, I wondered.

I'm sitting on the beach with a bunch of people this weekend, and the conversation casually turns to the shape and size of all people. The topic was about someone that knew someone in high school, that happened to be a "fat bottomed girl". It was told that this certain "fat bottomed girl" got all the guys.
Really?
We questioned this collectively. Yes. It was affirmed. This girl happened to get both handsome and not so handsome guys with relative ease.

OK, we said. "Was that because she was easy?" We couldn't help but wonder. The answer may surprise you. It was told that she was not easy in the way that one may think, but easy in that she was available. Then the fellas all chimed in.

"I'm not sure that's true," one said. "I've never been into fat girls."

"Oh yeah," one said. "In my twenties? After hitting back a few?" another said. "They all look like supermodels."

Another said, "I'm pleading the fifth here." And we all knew what that meant.

And one actually said. "Yeah, that could be true."

While there are much more important and pressing topics to be discussed on the pages of The Daily Dandy, I decided to poll it out to my boys.

OK fellas... to all the boys that comment here.Is it true? Is it a rite of passage? Does the "Rocking World Go Round"? Tell us what you think.

My Guy's Making Time

My Guy and I set off on Friday for a fun filled weekend in NYC with Frick. She was performing her "final exam" project Saturday night (which was amazing). I was excited to spend a great Mother's Day weekend in the city with my favorite daughter. All week My Guy and I talked about the time of departure on Friday. We were set to leave around 11AM, so around 10:15AM that morning My Guy started stressing about "making good time" and beating the afternoon traffic.

It's a funny thing. Why is it that men worry about "making good time?"

The ride, door to door from my MA home to NYC is usually about 4 or 4.5 hours. In the 2 years that Frick has been in college in the city, My Guy found this easy, non-traffic-ed way that usually takes about 3 hours. Amazing right? But one can never predict the traffic, road patterns and obstructions. Here's my take: What does it matter what time we get there? We didn't have an appointment. We wouldn't be seeing Frick until about 4PM that day and leaving at 11 gave us more than enough time to make it with some to spare. Yet My Guy poured furiously over his GPS trying to calculate his route and predict what we would find along the way.

"It's all about making good time," I teased My Guy. "It's about proper road management," he replied. The ride took us about 4 and a half hours total, with a 20-30 min stop for lunch. And yes...we hit traffic. Lots of it in some areas, but not enough to make for a major delay, so I'm not sure that would qualify in My Guy's top ten "making good time" rides. I say who cares? It's adorable and strange at the same time but I'm left to wonder is this a man vs woman thing?

"Making good time" for a guy is like scoring bragging rights. It's a male equivalent to "sticking it to the man" and somewhat like a mobile version of a free lunch. Why is that boys? If I had to venture to guess, I would say women worry more about what to pack for the trip than getting there in record time. Guys? It would seem to be all about getting there quick and navigating a Houdini route that will ensure less time traveled. Don't get me wrong, I like getting to my final destination in record time, but my stress is much more about whether or not I need the black Louboutin strappy pumps or whether I really need the two different face bronzers that I cannot seem to part with. If we were traveling under a time constraint of some sort, I could justify the stress and the strategy, but we weren't.

What do you got to say for your yourself fellas? Be honest.

I Blame It On Duck Dynasty

Have we, as Bostonian's and members of Red Sox Nation stumbled onto a new phenomenon? It's perplexing to say the least and kinda....

Sexy? 

Suddenly Carny Couture is here in Beantown and it's taken storm of the entire city. "Fear The Beard" can be heard as a resounding rally cry of fans alike and costume stores are joyously stocking up on novelty beards for the Fenway Faithful. But what I'm talking about today is different. Make no mistake there is nothing sexy about a person sporting a fake beard at a baseball game, but a playoff beard, a real burly man beard is another matter entirely. 

The tradition in professional sports of not shaving, thereby producing a playoff beard,  is certainly not something that the Red Sox can lay claim to. It's a time honored tradition/superstition amongst athletes and men everywhere. This year, the beard of Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli has inspired a facial fashion craze. Napoli has not shaved since Spring Training in March and has what one could call an enviable set of whiskers that could put him at the dinner table comfortably with Sy and the boys. And now my boys are getting into the groove.

My Guy, who is the most clean cut conservative man I know, answered my inquiry into his uncharacteristic five o'clock shadow with, "I'm not shaving until we win the World Series." But the funny thing was not that this was such a departure for him, the fascinating thing was that he was serious about it. My BFF and I texting during last nights game. She texted me:

"ps- Big said if the Red Sox win WS he will grow a beard!!! 10 years together and I've been trying to get him to grow a stache"

Facial hair beware! The Bearded Lady I'll never be, but if these residual beards will help us bring home another World Championship, then I'll live in what's beginning to resemble Duck Dynasty, Louisiana.

After all, the Duck Boats are gearing up for the Victory Parade. 

Mars Vs. Venus

If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then we must really be living on two separate planets. I'm referring to business specifically, but it's also an age old question for the age old battle of the sexes. The answer, it seems is simple; men and women are different. Truth is, it's not really that simple.

Men and women approach business from different perspectives. Both genders can achieve great success, and both genders have unique strengths that can attribute to that success. Because we approach things differently, who's to say there is a template for what equates to success and what does not. Women tend to be more emotional because society encourages a more nurturing woman's role in all aspects of life. So in the workplace or in a position of power is there room for emotion?   Mental toughness is a strength, yet emotion is seen as a weakness? One could argue that it would depend upon the business and the individual, but for some, emotion is what drives their success.

In sales, emotion is paramount to hook your audience. The goal is get them excited about your brand and hopefully emotionally invested in it so that they will come back to you, time and time again. Without emotion, consumers couldn't be brand loyal and vendors couldn't motivate them to trust that brand and spend their money. Picking up on client's emotional cues or hints of unhappiness and responding to them help to keep them happy and build relationships based on trust and respect.

On the other hand, when making business decisions, emotion sometimes can cause frustration and removing the emotion from the situation is best advised for making sound decisions. A "never let them see you sweat", kind of thing, and both genders sweat emotionally in business from time to time. Barking back at a co-worker or spouting off a nasty group email, which seems satisfying in the moment, in retrospect is never a good idea.

We are different, men and women, and as such we handle all kinds of situations from different mindset.

Case in point: Take a look at Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in a room full of men watching the US take out Osama Bin Laden.

A picture is indeed, worth a thousand words.

Too Bad The Tux Was Rented

So have you seen this?

Kevin Cotter, a man whose high school sweetheart and wife of 12 years left him in July of 2009, turned his devastation and despair into success. A box salesman from Tuscon Arizona, Cotter, had been with his wife for more than half of his life and had two children with her when she walked out leaving her life and her wedding dress behind in a keepsake box in the closet. She told him to do "whatever he wanted" with the wedding dress and that's exactly what he did.

Cotter and his brother Colin started brainstorming about ways to use the wedding dress. They decided it would make a great grill cover, yoga mat, scarecrow, complete with a Darth Vader helmet and punching bag. Cotter then stared taking pictures and posting them and the wedding dress chronicles on myexwifesweddingdress.com. Instantly a Internet star was born.

People could relate to his pain and by using comedy, this type of therapeutic fun struck a chord with his fans. His ex wife wasn't exactly pleased, but for Cotter his brother reports that while they were taking pictures for the blog he began to see "his first real laugh" since the divorce.

Cotter turned his blog into a book deal and says that the book, "101 Uses for My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress", is about so much more than using a wedding dress to strain cooked pasta. Along with the hilarious commentary on his ex's dress, he poignantly writes about dealing with devastation of life alone and reflects on divorce, children, life and moving on.

Cotter has moved on. He married a woman he met on match.com in his backyard. “She said earlier in our relationship that if it worked out and one day we were to be married, it would have to be a beach wedding and she would wear a thong bikini,” Cotter said. “She said she would not risk leaving me with any amount of material for a sequel." She didn't though, in the end she wore a dress, and one that I'm sure is under lock and key away from Cotter.

Too bad my ex wore a rented tux. I think it could have made a New York Times best seller.

I Was Just Thinking.....

You know, this sh*t goes both ways fellas...

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I went to bed last night with a slight headache and left my TV on, something I never do. I awoke about 4:30 am to some sad sack ABC News round table that had a bunch of good looking people talking news. Or so I assume they were talking news, because it was then that I heard that Jesse James and Kat Von D had recently ended their engagement and their relationship.

I'm sorry, but I this is somewhat vindicating for all us Sandra Bullock fans. The guy's a quadruple LOSER and somewhere Sandra Bullock has to be smiling to herself, just a little bit. Kat Von D is the one I really feel sorry for. It looks like she got duped by one of the most hated men on the planet. Reports are saying that their relationship could not endure the long distance between them. Are you kidding me? She is in LA and he is in Austin. You mean to tell me that all that money between them couldn't get them close enough together on the weekends?

So why end things just because they couldn't be together every day? If that is the truth, then wouldn't you do something about it? Breaking up seems so illogical. My suspicion tells me that someone else is involved. The easy and most obvious indication for the break up would be that he cheated with some tattooed, white supremacist, swastika-ed model, but reports have already surfaced that she is currently back with Nikki Sixx, her former boyfriend.

Maybe Jesse got exactly what what was coming to him and maybe not, but judging from one of this season's LA Ink episodes, Kat was inking a childhood picture of Jesse onto her torso. I'm thinking that's not a move a woman would make that was cheating, and now she's stuck with her new ink. Good thing she's in the business. I'm sure it's already been turned into something else.

Another one bites the dust, and I couldn't be happier. I like Kat much better without that loser.

Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Kill 'Em

So, my sister sent me this and it made me chuckle... It's title was:

"Men Who Lack Female Supervision"

Of course, I started to think; what would the world be like if there were no women to make sure things go smoothly? These photos serve to show what boys will do if left to their own devices.

In this case, you might say that beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder. "Honey, my parents are coming to dinner on Sunday."


Who knew Santa stalked and killed Rudolf and Vixen and the boys? He just removes them from the wall every year.

I cannot tell a lie. I love the ingenuity here, Plus, it's very green. Recycle, reuse, redo.

I have no words for this one.....

Ummmm, I think there is an easier way.

Hilarious, but I can't help but wonder if after a few brews how many of them got used.

I must say, it gets the job done. "I think I'll pass on dessert."

Redneck waterskiing.

Redneck relaxation. "Hey Paw, the neighbors been complainin' again."