Candy's daily Dandy

I cant even make it out of the house without spill...

2012-05-26T08:42:59.307-04:00

I cant even make it out of the house without spilling something on me. No white!
Here its a holiday (next week) for The Queens 60th year as queen.

have a great weekend, and thanks for remembering w...

2012-05-25T16:06:27.773-04:00

have a great weekend, and thanks for remembering what it is really about.

the walking man - TRUE, but when I wear my adhesiv...

2012-05-25T14:31:38.411-04:00

the walking man - TRUE, but when I wear my adhesive pad in lieu of Tampax, they fit a little better.

Heff can't even wear tighty whities...they are...

2012-05-25T12:43:57.098-04:00

Heff can't even wear tighty whities...they are way to loose.

Have Fun Candy...I will do my best not to spill be...

2012-05-25T12:23:03.992-04:00

Have Fun Candy...I will do my best not to spill beer or to burn my fingers on the Barbecue!

My innocence has been tarnished. I CAN'T wear ...

2012-05-25T12:02:17.067-04:00

My innocence has been tarnished. I CAN'T wear white. :(

I'd rather read about big boobs.

2012-05-25T09:06:08.495-04:00

I'd rather read about big boobs.

Apparently all kinds of assholes went to Hahvahd. ...

2012-05-25T08:50:44.857-04:00

Apparently all kinds of assholes went to Hahvahd. I don't find his entry offensive (admittedly I didn't open one of his packages or anything) because there is still the first amendment and though a loony tune he retains the right even while incarcerated to make a journal entry. If they didn't want the notoriety of it 9I am sure they did) then they wouldn't have asked him for a status update.

From the time I can remember anything, my grandfat...

2012-05-25T02:07:11.550-04:00

From the time I can remember anything, my grandfather, whom we called Ta-Ta, gave me the nickname Gravel-Gertie. For all of my childhood and most of my adulthood I have been annoyed by the name. My grandfather passed away a few years back and I have just now been curious of who she was. I now know that I was lovingly given that name because I always looked disheveled. (as most children do when playing hard outside). I had decided in the later years of his life to take him in and care for him. When he was nearing the end of his life he was in and out of the hospital frequently. His mind had been overcome by dimentia and Alzheimer's. His sight was almost gone from cataracts as well. When the nurses would call and ask how to get him to take his medicine my reply would be, "tell one of your nurses to tell him you are Gravel Gertie and give the medicine to him." Worked like a charm everytime. In fact, if I told him my given name, he wouldn't know who I was. Thank you for your article.

I gotta admit - I was totally thinking of one big ...

2012-05-24T19:29:38.412-04:00

I gotta admit - I was totally thinking of one big boob, too. Well, I guess that guy IS a boob, but you know what I mean.

Damn. I was expecting this post to be about one HE...

2012-05-24T17:05:37.704-04:00

Damn. I was expecting this post to be about one HEEEE.U.G.E. breast....

Oh damn! i loved my mom at 16 but she would have h...

2012-05-24T08:50:40.024-04:00

Oh damn! i loved my mom at 16 but she would have had to enjoy pot, LSD, mescaline and some other shit before I'd let her hang out with me. I guess that's why they signed my enlistment papers when I was 17...Tell Frack he can enlist in another year, one place moms can't go.

YAY!!!! I found the :30 sec commercial. Now you ca...

2012-05-23T15:47:10.271-04:00

YAY!!!! I found the :30 sec commercial. Now you can see what I mean. Evidently, this campaign was launched yesterday...

"My Name Is Heff, And I'm An Alcoholic&qu...

2012-05-23T13:53:13.424-04:00

"My Name Is Heff, And I'm An Alcoholic".....wait. Wrong Meeting.

You have to see the thirty sec commercial to under...

2012-05-23T09:59:14.123-04:00

You have to see the thirty sec commercial to understand, I think.

There are four or five scenarios where the mom is completely hovering over her child, like when she is sitting next to him in class and raises her hand to give the correct answer then says to the teacher, "he knew that."

I liked the commercial,but I am missing the correl...

2012-05-23T09:21:04.558-04:00

I liked the commercial,but I am missing the correlation between the commercial and "Helicopter Mom"

Hahaha! I am NOT a helicopter parent, but mostly b...

2012-05-23T09:10:37.501-04:00

Hahaha!
I am NOT a helicopter parent, but mostly because I knew a mom was was and she nauseated me and everyone else so much, that I vowed to never be that way.
Her son is now almost 13 and he can't spend the night anywhere. He's the biggest wussy you've ever seen.
I'm sure you weren't THAT bad!!

Poor Candy. How's your Ying Yang today?

2012-05-23T08:56:34.380-04:00

Poor Candy. How's your Ying Yang today?

The Boston Water and Sewer Commission just called,...

2012-05-22T21:35:29.871-04:00

The Boston Water and Sewer Commission just called, and they've said they've had just about enough of your $#!t.

When I was in second grade, my friend told me in a...

2012-05-22T21:10:33.434-04:00

When I was in second grade, my friend told me in all seriousness the he invented diahhera. So it's his fault.
Sorry you're feeling crappy and I hope you feel better soon.
I found that inhaling droplets of salt water helps a sinus infection.

I see this type of shit everyday in my profession,...

2012-05-22T16:37:05.421-04:00

I see this type of shit everyday in my profession, if you need help applying said ointment, give me a ring, you have my number and I the gloves. Happy wiping dear. xo

Your doctor has a HORRIBLE sense of humor :)

2012-05-22T15:36:27.343-04:00

Your doctor has a HORRIBLE sense of humor :)

I found this, hope it helps

Sorry you lost a good friend.

2012-05-22T08:50:26.844-04:00

Sorry you lost a good friend.

Candace every life ends some suddenly and some not...

2012-05-22T08:19:45.231-04:00

Candace every life ends some suddenly and some not, some in death and some not.

Your friend now sleeps in the house of his ancestors but as long as you hold him in your mind and heart and remember the best of him, pass that portion on to another, that is how he will live on--through the people he touched.

Be Well Kiddo, he is.

If you want to favor him, check in on his wife occasionally. That, I am sure, he would appreciate