Dog Days Of Summer

You're either a dog or a cat person. I'm not a cat person, so the doggies are King today on the Daily Dandy!
Some of these are literally LOL worthy!

I miss my little pug Jingles....

I see this just about every morning from Buddy...

Tell me about it baby...

Grandpa doggie wisdom.

If this ever happens to me, I'm not asking questions.

Ohhh boy they are getting creative!

Seen this before..more than I care to remember. 

Now that's funny...

This one reminded me of Frick and Frack...I wonder why?

I couldn't resist this one...

Love this one!

Somedays I feel like Buddy is looking at me this way.

Happy Tuesday Bloggers! Enjoy the dog days of summer while you can!

Marcel Is Back

Just so cuuuute...

Friday Foolishness

A loser is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in Daytona where he tells him that he will score for sure. The loser enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pick up lines that he acquired from his friend. 

The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says " OK, I’ll spend the night with you, but I’ve got to let you know up front that I’m on my menstrual cycle. The loser looks at her and says " That’s OK. I’ll follow you on my Moped. 



Happy Friday bloggers! Be nice to the losers...someday they might be your boss.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/bornloserjokes.html

Oooops....

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. 
The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants.
 "Well," he says, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack!" 

The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes/2

Pug Pretty

It's times like these that make me miss my baby girl Jingles: Happy Haloween Jingles.

My baby girl Frankenjingle

These are her furry counterparts:

Pugkin Latte

Wrecking Ball Pug

Chia Pug

Baked Pugtato

AstroPug

Marilyn Pugroe

Puggie The Riveter

The Little Pugmaid

Lord of the Pugs

Deep Sea Diver Pug

Puganna

Bjork Swan Dress Pug

Yoda Pug

Tin Pug

Spock Pug

Darth Pug

Case O' Pug

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/costumes-that-prove-pugs-always-win-at-halloween

You Can Insert "X-Husband" Too, Ya Know.

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year. Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me this weekend. The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.  The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft. She was very lucky.

 Happy Belated Halloween!!!

Crazy Cat Lady

I am SO not a cat person, but these keep going around the Internet and some of them are hilarious!

Happy weekend bloggers and try to stay out of the catnip....

A Bunch Of Crap I Could Have Written Full Posts About But Didn't

• I fell asleep during the debates last night. What the hell is wrong with me? Shouldn't have had that second glass of wine;). Heard it was a sleeper anyway. Romney made Obama look like a little girly man and that was early on, from what I saw. What's your take on last night's debate? Did it change your vote?

• The Red Sox (I can't believe I'm going here) are done for the season. Stick the long awaited fork in them, FINALLY. You haven't heard much about them this season at The Daily Dandy, and there's good reason for that. They truly sucked. I don't think I have watched a full game since late July. The calls for Sox manager Bobby Valentine's head have been heard loud and clear, especially today. If I were him, I'd be looking for a quick way outta town. (if he hasn't left already)

• For all you dog lovers out there, check out this story: "Susie" a cute, white, female poodle mix, was hit by a car in Taunton, MA and immediately became wedged in the front grill of the car. The driver, unaware that he had struck a dog, continued driving for another 11 miles. He even crossed state lines into Rhode Island with Susie still stuck in the front grill. When the driver became aware that the dog was stuck, he drove to the nearest police station and the dog was immediately removed. Unbelievably, the dog sustained a concussion and  only minor injuries. Susie was recently reunited with her owner. I gotta ask, how do you not know that you've struck a dog with your car?

• I love this best of all....This is Carter, who uses a wheelchair. His dad made him this for Halloween:

Dog Gone Brilliant!

So I've got this new dry cleaning service that picks up the dry cleaning one day and delivers it to my door a few days later and I'm very happy with their service, so far. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about my dogs.

I leave a purple bag on a hook, filled with the dry cleaning, twice a week for pick up and lately I notice that my dogs will go berserk, barking furiously when the big purple van pulls into the driveway. The barking is not unusual. My dogs bark at everything that passes by; runners on the street, people on bikes, UPS and Fed Ex trucks, but not like they do when the purple van shows up. I can always tell when the Zoots guy is here because they go crazy; like they are up scratching and clawing at the window crazy.

Today I needed to ask my dry cleaning driver a question, so when I heard the dogs causing a rukus, I knew he had arrived. I carefully stepped outside and shut the door behind me, but it just barely drowned out the mayhem that the dogs were creating on the other side. I proceeded to talk to my pleasant driver and take care of business. When we were done, I apolgized to the driver for the dogs and I said, "I'm so sorry. I'm not quite sure what it is about you or your van, but my dogs seem to have a problem with you."

The driver smiled and said, "Oh I'm sorry. Well, would you please give the dog these?" In his hand he held two Milk Bone dog treats. " I always leave them on the front porch stoop, by the bag and I don't want to forget today." he said.

It was like a light went on in my head. I sort of chuckled and asked him to wait a second and I walked over to the door and let the clamoring, barking dogs outside. The same two dogs that were ferouciously clawing to get out  immediately turned into calm, sweet,  tails wagging dogs who went over to the driver and gave him a hearty welcome. I immediately understood. They were friends, and their Pavlovian response to the purple van was not at all what I had thought it was. My dogs wanted their twice weekly treat from their new friend the dry cleaning guy.

I was happy to know that my dogs aren't at all ferocious. In fact, it just solidified the "man's best friend" thing in my mind. Because before today I'm not sure that the driver understood that when he visited my home to pick up/dropoff , he was being anxiously awaited by his two new best friends.

Witty Wednesday

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios. WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom puts him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Today's Special: Designer Boo Boo's

I'll admit it. I'm a label snob.

Yup, I will actually spend more on an item because the label's name constitutes a price increase. I also value great designs and high quality, but that's a post for another day. Today's post is about Band-aids.

So being the label snob that I am, imagine my delight when taking a band-aid out of my non-nondescript Band-aid box yesterday to find that it was not any regular Band-aid, but a colorful and cute Cynthia Rowley designer Band-aid. I had just given my finger the WORST paper cut, ever. Not really, but in a box filled with 70 Band-aid brand Band-aids what are the chances that I would pull out one of the 10 bonus Cynthia Rowley Designer Band-aids that were inside?

Pretty good, because that's exactly what I did and I gotta tell you, I love them! I wrapped the colorful, second from the left design above around my pointer finger on my right hand and everybody had a comment.

"Oh, is that a new ring?'

"What's that? It's so cool."

"What do you mean it's a Cynthia Rowley Band-Aid?"

Who knew that a designer Band-Aid could cause such a stir? I loved it too. I made for the perfect accessory with my fashion forward life and I was sorry to see it lying on the floor of my shower this morning, non-sticky and beaten down into submission.

I can report that my paper cut is healing quite nicely at this point which means that my designer friend did exactly what it was supposed to do. In the meantime, I think I will pick up a solo box of 20 Designer Band-aids for my next cut or gash emergency.

One can never underestimate the power of looking and feeling good, and one could also make an argument that some people just never grow up entirely. Either way, this box of designer delights ensures that I don't have to.

Wordless Wednesday

Well, sort of....