Dog Days Of Summer

You're either a dog or a cat person. I'm not a cat person, so the doggies are King today on the Daily Dandy!
Some of these are literally LOL worthy!

I miss my little pug Jingles....

I see this just about every morning from Buddy...

Tell me about it baby...

Grandpa doggie wisdom.

If this ever happens to me, I'm not asking questions.

Ohhh boy they are getting creative!

Seen this before..more than I care to remember. 

Now that's funny...

This one reminded me of Frick and Frack...I wonder why?

I couldn't resist this one...

Love this one!

Somedays I feel like Buddy is looking at me this way.

Happy Tuesday Bloggers! Enjoy the dog days of summer while you can!

Too Much Alcohol Is Never A Good Thing

One day there were these 3 men in a bar. They all got drunk and went home. The next day, they gathered together and talked about how drunk they were. 

The first guy said, "I was so drunk last night, I made out with the lamp." The second guy said, "That’s nothing, I got my DUI." The third guy said, "I went home and blew chunks." 

The first and second guy asked the third guy what was so bad about that and the third guy said, "NO! You guys don’t understand! Chunks is my dog!" 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/threemeninabarjokes.html

It's A Really Good Friday

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"? 

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter. 

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." 

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven. 

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"? The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third blonde continued... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter." 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/easterjokes/threeblondesjoke.html

Happy Easter Bloggers! Here's to spring!

Friday Funny

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

RE: INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1

What can I do?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to download
Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the applications Jewelry 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be downloaded into your system.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are unsupported applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.

Happy Friday bloggers! And try to remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Happy New Year!!

 

Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.  But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. 

Lots of love,

Candy

Dumb Blonde Friday

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. 

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. 

Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''


Happy Friday bloggers. Have a great weekend and please don't let the kids play with anything dangerous. 

Funny Cup O' Joe

A blonde goes to her doctor and says that every time she drinks a coffee her eye hurts. 

The doctor prepared her a hot, fresh cup of coffee to see what really happens. She took a sip of the coffee and screamed, "Ouch, that hurts!" The doctor said, "I know your problem." 

The blonde asked, "Is it bad, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, you just need to take your spoon out of your cup before you drink your coffee."

Witty Wednesday

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself  and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been  waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good,  and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case,  things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club  and have a martini.' After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.  There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's  old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating .  The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending  end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences  and beat a hasty retreat. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and  whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were  dying of  cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS!  Why did you do that?' 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping  with your father after I'm gone.'

TGIF

It's Friday Bloggers! And that means it's almost the end of a long week for me! Today I thought I would regale you with some fun Friday funnies...

Amen to that brother!

What's the first one again? Oh, yeah, that one...

Adorable...

Did I mention I work weekends?

Did they actually have a kid named Friday? Those crazy Adams..

Off the "cute" charts!

Mmmm hmmmm...Latesha be looking fly!

Bad Decision Juice is always a good decision!

And this one had nothing to do with Friday but I loved it anyway!!

Happy Friday Bloggers! Try and be the ultimate opportunist this weekend!

Ballsy Elephant

What do you do with an elephant with that has 3 balls?


Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Best Of Men..

Got some bad news yesterday and I feel like laughter would be the best medicine today...