Little Heffy's Gotta Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom??

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite, What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.''

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," the teacher said.

"And you, Little Heffy, can you show us your good manners?"

Little Heffy said:"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted!

Wally World's Muthas: Heff's I'd Hit That Edition

Hey Bloggers! It's a Mutha of a weekend and to salute all you mother's out there, I thought we'd play a little game with my favorite Friday crazees from WalMart.

I'm calling this the, "Heff's I'd Hit That Edition" as a tribute to one of my favorite mutha's Heff, from the now defunct, "Heff's Bar and Grill".

So say he and WE! The object here is in the comment section, you decide whether Heff would Hit That or not.




So I know my boy has standards, and I'm guessing here that Heff wouldn't hit that with a 50 ft pole. Jiggle or not, the lady has to have some manners. NOT. No way.



Miss Thang here is certainly interesting....a little rumble with the tumble, eh Heffy? I say you'd hit that.

And speaking of stripes, Freak of the week looks pretty sexy even if it may cause seizures if you stare too long. I'm thinking Heff would definitely hit that.

Star light, star bright, I'll rock you outta the stratosphere.

Oh Heff baby, let's hit it tonite.

Now this is just silly, and I'm not thinking Heff is a junk in the trunk kind of guy. No way Heff'd hit that. Maybe.

Now I know little something about skin and in my professional opinion, my girl here looks a little old to be parading the cheeks of her ass around town. Unless Heff has a cottage cheezed old lady on his bucket list, I'd say not hitting that. EVER.

And finally, my favorite. This is just the kind of FREAK groupie my boy is used to beating off with his bass at a Butlik show. Hell to the yeah! Heff'd hit that then order up some Moo Goo Gai Pan for after.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mutha's and to you Heffy, my favorite mutha.

Thanks for playing along.

Thankful Thursday

I have no right to complain........today I'm just thankful.

What was that you said on Monday, Heff, in my weight loss post?

"The "start weight" version of the girl in the photo is the most fun IN THE SACK, mark my word !"

You still standing by that?

I Wanna ROCK!!

" HEFF'S BAR AND GRILL
Bad taste, Good Times. - A Golden Playground For The Easily Amused. - Grab Yourself a Beer. " Heff, Feb 2010

Lock up your sanity, hide your women folk and get ready to rock, cuz Heff is BACK!!!!!

My friend Heff, of the infamous Heff's Bar and Grill, who's been blogging longer than Dirk Diggler's most famous appendage, is back on the bloggersphere!!! WHOO HOO!!

Certainly deserved of a break from blogging, after Heff signed off I was caught unaware of how the absence of Heff's Bar and Grill would affect me. I missed his hilarity, his fabulous recipies (no shit), his beer recommendations, his music, his smokin hot Donna, (who is a stone cold fox) and his Heffy shenanigans.

Loyal, sweet, caring and crass, Heff is, without a doubt, one of my favorite bloggers ever since the day he commented on a post about my "Aunt Flo". We've been like peas and carrots ever since.(not really, but you get the point.)

You gotta check him out, and tell him you got MAD LOVE for him from me. You won't be sorry.

I'm pumped!

Welcome back dude!