Into God's Hands

I lost a member of my family yesterday.
While this woman was not very close to us in recent history, she was at one point someone we cared about.

There was no personal reason for our loss of contact in recent years. No horrible tragedies or awful disagreements, but only that she became the victim of neglect and she didn't deserve it. She became a forgotten, inconvenient soul in the end and for that I am sad. Her life was a cautionary tale and I wonder if in her advanced years, sort of gave up. Falling victim to the cancer we surprisingly found out about in the end. There will be no memorial, no services or finger sandwiches and coffee with memories. Just silence for her soul.

I speak of her today so that she may know that her memory lives on in me. And the love I once felt for a family member meant something. Love is real, but never logical. Love is the only thing we know to be true.

I want you all to know that she mattered and that she was loved and anyone to else that reads this too. So she will know someone cared.

I Was Just Going To Say...

I intended to talk about happy Christmas music today, but it just doesn't seem right in this forum.

The Pat's played one heck of a second half last night, but this morning it doesn't really matter. My beloved Boston Herald and I, together this morning have set the tone for the day.

As much as I try, and generally succeed in going on with my life, those little faces, the unspeakable horror creeps in and causes me to hold my children close. Frozen almost, in fear of what could happen, a constant reminder of the evil that lives among us.

I heard my daughter say, "I don't want to talk about it," and I was frozen again, unable to move the important conversation forward. I don't think I wanted to talk about it either. But I did talk to my son. I had to explain to him that his high school will be on lock down today. That visitors must make arrangements to gain entry and that he cannot enjoy the privilege of open campus any longer. He understood completely, once he realized how quickly copy cats can strike and how precious life is.

I know it won't always feel like this. I know I'll tell funny and inappropriate jokes and talk about the frivolousness of life again soon on The Daily Dandy. I just knew it couldn't be today. It doesn't feel right.

I also know I'll try to never forget. I can do that for them. It's just about the only thing I can do for them.

Why?