Dire Straights

Let's face it, things are becoming dire. 

During these desperate times its easy to fall into the black hole that is depression. The way I look at it we have a choice: fall into the black hole or step back and decide not to jump head first. How about we decide to take a deep breath and tap into all our strength and courage? Resiliency is needed, because we are all resilient and sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we are capable of. 

Me? The health and well being of my family is what keeps me going these days. That's what's important. So today, I'm going to tap into my resolve and enjoy the little things that make me happy. 

• FaceTime chats with my friends and family make me happy. 
• Group text messages with my entire extended family, sharing photos and checking in makes me happy. 
• Family dinners, enjoyed together makes me happy. 
• A cocktail after a stressful day makes me happy. Thank God for liquor.
• The 2 shamrock plants that sit on my counter top that I bought for St. Patty's Day make me happy.  
• A vigorous daily workout makes me happy. (but not while I am doing it)
• All of those hilarious videos of "Corona Compilations" that talented, bored people are putting out make me happy. 
• A hike in the woods and walking the dog make me happy.
• Netflix makes me happy. 
• The daily jokes my friend tells on Facebook makes me happy.
• People that are home-making masks for the first responders who so desperately need them, even though some vigilantly say they they are not safe? Ask the professionals who sometimes have no other choice, their efforts make me happy. 
• Even doing the laundry makes me happy and gives me a sense of purpose. 

We all need a sense of purpose. So hold on tight everyone! Stay home and stay healthy and pray for those who are the sickest and offer your support. It's all we can do. Be grateful if you are healthy and follow the guidelines to stay that way.

This too shall pass, God willing, and trust that the powers that be are trying to help us out of this mess the pandemic has created. 

It's a better choice than succumbing to dire straights.

Clyde And His Bonnie

The legend of Bonnie and Clyde is at it again. A married couple from Quincy, MA ; Joseph and Jennifer Carrier, decided to support their heroin habit by robbing banks up and down the East Coast with their seven dogs in tow. Their brazen crime spree started in Ludlow Mass when they robbed a bank and made off with not-enough-cash-to-make-it-worth-it. To make things worse-the couple made their getaway in a stolen brown Buick Encore-that Jennifer is wanted for the theft of.

Living the glamorous life of crime, these two then continued on to Florida where the Bonnie and Clyde act continued. Joseph walked into a Wells Fargo in Palm Coast and demanded "large bills". The teller reportedly gave him $300.00, before he reached in and grabbed more leaving with $800.00 total. I'm not sure these two-with their seven Brussel Griffons dogs-can live a life in the lamb and support a heroin habit on $800.00.

So they would, of course have to do it again. And do it again they did, yesterday. This time they chose a bank in Wilmington, Delaware and took off in the stolen car. Police were called and the couple was spotted on I-95 where a high speed  chase ensued.You know how that goes... the couple was arrested and taken into custody. I'm thinking Bonnie and Clyde didn't have a heroin habit that made them sick, but the addiction is still the same. The addiction the the high. The high that they get from stealing and the high they get from the drugs.

These two had a better ending to the story than Bonnie and Clyde, although they may not think so. They get to continue living-without each other-in prison and have a chance at getting clean and turning their lives around. Bonnie and Clyde didn't get that opportunity-prison or not. They ended up dead. Killed by the authorities that hunted them in an ambush. Although their story went on  o became one of legend the real tragedy is that they never got to live long enough to realize that crime, really doesn't pay.

WTF?

I'm saddened over yesterday's news of the tragedy in Virginia. Three young people snuffed out because of hatred.

It's unfathomable that a mentally and emotionally disturbed person ONCE AGAIN kills because he/she feels he should, or could. This headline is becoming more and more common in our society. What is this world coming to? This time a young, accomplished duo of journalists and the woman they were interviewing were gunned down. Three lost their lives and the other is fighting for hers. I say three because the shooter killed himself and although it's easy to not care about his life, we must.

Were there warning signs?

Yes, the shooter was fired from jobs multiple times for "disturbing behavior" but how are we to predict he would turn his anger into a deadly tragedy? The Shooter reportedly faxed a 23 page "suicide note" to ABC News two hours after the shooting. In his missive he claimed to be upset over the recent racially charged, deadly church shootings in South Carolina. He said he admired the shooters of Columbine High School and Virginia Tech and called one "my boy right there".

The question we are left with today is how do we prevent this? Can we?

Because a journalist should be able to report from the field without fear, students should be able to learn in a safe environment and church goers should be able to worship in their sacred place without a lock on the door.

And one more deadly shooting headline is one too many.

The Pack Mentality

Those five men look like movie stars-don't they?
That's because they are. And it happened in the most incredible way. But that's only part of the story.

These brothers-6 in total (and 1 sister)-grew up in in a 16th floor Manhattan public housing apartment which served for 14 years as a prison for the family. Confined to the cramped apartment under their bizarre father's rule, the family of nine spent most of their lives with no contact with the outside world. The father forbade them to ever leave the apartment and held the only key to the front door. The children were home schooled by their mother, and taught never to communicate with strangers. Their only contact with real world were on necessary, supervised appointments or controlled outings to New York tourist destinations. The children were told to never cut their hair and that the outside world had "bad people in it".

The one privilege the boys father did allow was movies. And they indulged in many movies as their personal form of escape from the hell that they knew as their life. Middle brother Mukunda, was the prop master and he would make items from their favorite movies from things he had lying about the house. The boys would reenact scenes from the movies as a way to feel normal and feel free. Then in January 2010, Mukunda, then 15, decided he needed to escape and see life outside his prison walls.

Little did Mukunda know that that escape-he wore a mask he had made to resemble Mike Meyers from the Halloween movies so that he would not be recognized outside by his father-would change all of their lives for ever. Once outside, Mukunda didn't know his address so he kept the apartment building in his site as he visited a bank and a supermarket. People were afraid so he was soon stopped by police. When questioned Makunda says,

“They started asking, ‘Do you live here? Where are you from?’ And I was always taught to never interact with any people, so I didn’t say anything, you know. I didn’t give them any information on me,” Mukunda recalled.

He was placed on a psychiatric hold and sent to Bellevue Hospital for a week stay, which he loved. It was his first interaction with other people outside his family. When he returned home, his father was no longer in control. The boys then started going out together and on a chance meeting they met film maker Crystal Moselle, who they bonded with over their love of movies. Moselle ended up filming the boys for 5 years and the result is her documentary file "The Wolfpack", in theaters now. The film has bee critically acclaimed and won a Grand Jury prize at  this year's Sundance Film Festival.

Purely coincidence that one of the first people the boys meet is a film maker? I think not. These boys have a whole lot of catching up to do and they are doing it in grand style. Hollywood has come knocking and they ironically were, "ready for their closeup". But at an incredible price.

Judgement Day

I will admit to being a fan of Bill Cosby's. I remember fondly the Cosby of his 1982 comedy album "Himself" where he regales us with the story of the "Chocolate Cake for breakfast" incident. Those were good times.
I also will admit to being a fan of The 80's mega hit, The Cosby Show TV series. Who didn't love Dr Cliff Huxtable? Unfortunately for myself and countless other Bill Cosby fans, the recent spate of sexual abuse accusations that have befallen Bill Cosby, leave me unable sing his praises any longer.

It's a real WTF? moment.

The thinking here is that one allegation?...bad enough, but innocence certainly is plausible.
More than 3 allegations?...now a pattern is established which makes it extremely difficult to dismiss. The number now stands at 18 women alleging sexual misconduct against Bill Cosby.

The latest? A Cosby "insider", a 90 year old ex-employee of NBC who worked closely with Cosby for years. He claims to have brought multiple women to Cosby's dressing room and that it was "his job to guard the door", unsure of what took place behind those doors. He also claims to have sent hundreds of thousands dollars to women over the years at Cosby's request.

For me, I'm curious why Cosby did it? Because he could? Because he had a sickness? Because he thought no one would find out? Did he have a God complex? Why jeopardize an incredible career? And why would Bill Cosby need to DRUG women so he could have sex with them?

It's reminiscent of Tiger Woods.

Some say these men are not at all who we thought they were, and in Cosby's case we thought we knew him becasue made his fortune selling us on his "good values" and "family values". Selling being exactly what he was doing. It all comes out in the wash, doesn't it? The truth has a funny way of rearing it's ugly head. We are left to decide whether or not we choose to believe it. In this digital age of tweets, status updates and one click publishing I have to wonder if it's worth it to risk your career, your livelihood, even your marriage for a sexual thrill.

Hey, we are all human and as humans we make mistakes. But to abuse, torture or harm someone for your own sexual gain is more than a horrible mistake. It's a moral infraction of the highest degree. Cosby has been tried in the court of public opinion, and despite 2 standing ovations, his judgement has been handed down.

I dare to say Cosby will be in the news again but certainly not for glowing reviews of his work.

"If Women Ruled The World, We Wouldn't Have War. We Would Have Intense Negotiations Every 28 Days."

Watch this and tell me if it doesn't make you sad today. Gone too soon.

RIP Robin..

Tragic, Useless And Unbelievable

I was just thinking....
about the tragedy of Jennifer Martel's death.

Who is Jennifer Martel, you ask?
She was the girlfriend of Jared Remy, who Remy stabbed and murdered, while others watched, in the doorway of the Waltham, MA apartment they shared with their 4 year-old daughter last summer. I documented the tragedy when it unfolded HERE.  

A new Boston Globe article by Eric Moskowitz published on Saturday brings this tragedy back into the news, and paints a horrifying and startling picture of violence, entitlement, drug abuse and system abuse.

•  How did this perpetrator get away with his history of violence against women for as long as he did? 
• This monster had years-long rap sheets, ladled with violence, abuse, restraining orders(which he continually violated) and death threats, yet he got off with no more than probation and the promise of therapy and good behavior, then released to his parent's custody time and time again.
• In Moskowitz's piece he clearly states that Remy got off SIX times on charges of violence against women. He then notes that it is unusual for a documented violent offender to get off on charges twice-let alone six times. Remy seems to be the record holder. 

Again, I have to ask how this could have happened? 

And in my backyard! Remy grew up in my town, which is the starting point of his long rap sheet, and continues to the next town over from us-where I would attend criminal court too (If I had to). I know all those cops. Does this mean that I somehow share in the blame? 

Reading this article brings to mind so many emotions. Yes, something certainly was amiss here. Jared father, Jerry Remy is a beloved, hometown Red Sox sports figure, whoes influence in our town was greatly underestimated by us all. That much is evident by Moskowitz's article. I just learned that MY TAX DOLLARS paid for Jared schooling at a local school well known for emotionally troubled teens, because he couldn't make it at our public school. I then read about the intimidation and the chaos he created while he was there, supposedly being "encouraged and nourished" into becoming a contributing member of society. 

Am I pissed off? YES I am, so now I look to blame. I think not only do we blame the system that failed Jennifer, but we blame the entire village here. People I have trusted to educate, protect and serve it turns out are people who were influenced by celebrity and I blame all of them. Yet that won't bring Jennifer Martel back, will it? 

No it won't and there is blood on a lot of hands today. And this time it's not going to be so easy to just wash it away. I say it's about time. 

Death Of A Superstar

News of L'Wren Scott's suicide comes after the 49 year old designer was found yesterday morning in her New York apartment by her assistant. L'Wren Scott, by all reports, was a fashion superstar. Her high end fashion line bearing her name was a red carpet staple amongst A-list celebs like Madonna, Nicole Kidman and Amy Adams. Her love life was A-list too. She was the long time girlfriend of the one and only Mick Jagger. Sources report that the two were very much together at the time of her death and Jagger is said to be "devestated" by the news.

On the surface, everything looked to be as if she was living a dream. A successful fashion house known in celebrity circles, a rock star boyfriend (some would argue the ULTIMATE rock star boyfriend) the perfect picture of success and someone who had achieved rank to the pinnacle of her profession. "Picture" being the operative word. What we now know is that that picture was a facade. Truth be told L'Wren Scott had been plagued with financial woes lately and her company was rumored to be at least $6 Million in debt.

I am touched by her death on so many levels:

• As a woman closer to her age than not
• As a business woman-trying to achieve that "brass ring" in my profession
• As a person who envied her life from the outside looking in

I wonder how deep and dark her personal issues got, to make her take her own life. Loosing face in an industry that she was so well respected had to be devastating, but not uncommon. She certainly was not the first to face financial trouble and unfortunately she won't be the last. The sad truth is the line between success and failure is all to close in many professions. How bad does it have to be? How does one get to that desperate point?  

My thoughts and prayers go out to her loved ones...yet she continues to dominate my thoughts. I'm sorry she felt that desperate and I wonder if something could have been done to prevent her death. I guess we will never know. 

Somewhere In The Middle

You know the old saying..there are three sides to every story; her side, his side and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. This comes to mind as I peruse the news stories and the media  hooplah surrounding the open letter Dylan Farrow, adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen,  wrote which was recently published in the  the New York Times Op Ed. 

The letter recounts the story of how Woody Allen sexually abused Dylan when she was a young child of eight years old in her mother's house. The fallout has lit up a firestorm of commentary, opinions and open discussion of sexual abuse, thereby causing Woody Allen to publish a rebuttal in the New York Times this past Sunday. 

She said. He said.

When I read Dylan's open letter, my heart went out to that little girl, laying on her stomach in the "closet like room in the attic".  The letter, published earlier this month, was in response to the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award Allen was given by his peers at January's Golden Globe Awards. Dylan Farrow wanted everyone to know what she has always known. I have to wonder what she would have to gain by publicly outing this dark secret, except complete redemption from a victim to a perp. Why else? 

Then there's his response. Throughout his rebuttal were these words:

Dispositive

Acrimonious

Enmity 

Malevolence

Equivocation 

Insidiously 

I wrote them down. Each one indicative of anger, deceit and bitterness. These words were not so much directed at Dylan but at her mother, Mia Farrow. Herin lies the crux of this story. The failed relationship between Allen and Farrow. The children somehow became fallout and maybe Dylan believed that her story became a victim of that fallout too. Maybe that's why she wrote the letter. 

He said, she said. Somewhere in the middle....

The sad truth is what the judge in this case said many years ago when bringing this litigation to a close; we may never know the truth. 

Because whatever the truth is now lost to all but the two people who know it. What we are left with is a peek into this dark story and our opinions. Some on his side, some on her side. 

And the rest of us? We too, fall somewhere in the middle.