Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Jersey Chic

Is everyone from New Jersey ridiculous?

It seems like this is what the Reality TV world would like us to believe because the residents of that fine state just keep playing it up getting more and more redonk as time moves on. Case in point; The Cast of the Jersey Shore, MTV's latest reality series about a group of over tanned, over worked out, over accented 20 somethings who live together and "have their lives taped to see what happens."

Truth be told I have never seen one episode of this crapola, and yet I know who The Situation, Snookie and the rest of the gang are. Why? They are the punchline to a million and one jokes. And they are clueless-ly ridiculous. And they are all over every tabloid magazine, their every move scrutinized. And they are laughing all the way to the bank. I heard on the RADIO (see I can't even get away from them in the privacy of my own car) yesterday that they just wrapped up their Miami season, which is airing soon, for which they all received a $10 K raise per episode. Only to be asked to resume shooting immediately back in New Jersey at the shore for the third season.

What's funny is the cast is now holding out for more money per episode because they are rolling in it right now, being paid by night clubs that are standing in line wanting them to promote their clubs. They'll get their raise, too. Not too shabby for a group of Jersey townies whose claim to fame is GTL (gym, tanning, laundry).

Then there's these bitches...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey make being bad look good. Not really, but they are like the biggest train wreck that you can't stop watching. They are so bad that one of the housewives quit the show because she no longer wanted to be associated with the villian of the group. And who could forget the infamous table flip? I believe that will go down in Housewives/TV history. Danielle Staub, the housewife who is most hated, has turned gay? Only time will tell, as she breathlessly tells the cameras last night. Yet I can't wait to find out, as much as I hate myself for admitting that.

These ladies live in their own Jersey world and speak their own Jersey speak and each of them lives a charmed life. So they want us to believe. Table flipper Theresa is rumored to have filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy yet we all know she's making bank fighting Danielle for the cameras. I'm sure she's doing it for the well being of her family. Housewife Jacquline has been deleted from the Mother of the Year ballot, for throwing her 18 year-old daughter to the lions and not having her back.

"It's a very serious situation," Danielle says for the cameras. Ya think?

Jacquine's daughtery Ashley has been charged with assualt for pulling out a large portion of Danielle's hair at a country club fashion show turned brawl. She says she was protecting her mother, whom she thought was hit by Danielle. That same mother who brought her daughter to that fashion show and then kicked her out after the altercation telling her to "go home Ashley." Jaquline then waited by the crying victims car and I'm not sure why.

If that were me. I know for a fact my daughter would have been pinned to the ground by me until I got her into the car and drove her ass out of there. Then she would have never left the house again. I'm just saying...All that crazy play for the cameras is one thing but if my child gets involved all bets are off. What is wrong with these people?

Not all Jersey-ites are like these people. I know because one of my best friends, my college roommate hails from West Orange, NJ. She is the anti-Jersey compared to these bimbos. Educated, classy and articulate and intelligent. The only problem is you can never quite take the Jersey completely from the girl.

It always rears it's ugly head when she orders a simple CAAAWFEE, or coffee as it's known everywhere else in the world.


Heff said...

I have a MAJOR problem watching ANY of the "Jersey" OR "Housewives" shows, but the "New Jersey Housewives" shows are EASILY the hardest for me to watch.

I wish ALL OF THEM would just GO AWAY, except for Jill Zarin, who needs to pose for Playboy, STAT !

B.E. Earl said...

I'm a New Yorker. By birth we are allowed to make fun of New Jersey and it's peeps.

Then again we also make fun of your state and the way you kids talk, so... ;)

Doc said...

All Jerseyites arent that bad but many are...

sybil law said...

I just think it's all funny, and especially the fascination people have with these shows. I could care less about any of these people, but I can watch occasionally and be entertained. Well, the Housewives make me ill, truly. I've only seen any of those shows a few times.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Okay, I'm from Jersey, and I want to remind you that these people are TV CHARACTERS! They may call it "reality television" but when people know they're being filmed, they are ACTING!

Theresa (my fiance) is hooked on the NJ Housewives thing and I've watched a few episodes. Danielle is only looking to get famous, the 18 year old Ashley is a major screwup who needs to do some hard time just to get a grip on reality, and Theresa (on the show, not my Theresa) is just a trashy thug.

Remember, folks, it's television. Real Jersey people are quirky in different ways. Watch "Cake Boss" sometime to see what "normal" NJ families look like.

Anonymous said...

Having lived in NYC before for 12 years, I can honestly say NO ONE can figure out what's up with Jersey. It's a complete culture unto its own. And they are PROUD of it, eventhough the rest of the world continues to stereotype them - and rightly so.

Everything they do in their dress, make up, cars, etc...is just too, too much. Tacky and tasteless.

It's ashame that in the public eye, these yahoos are representing the entire state.

The Dental Maven said...

Okay...here's the definitive word on NJ: The Maven is originally from NJ...the few of us that are normal have escaped...the rest remain in New Jersey. (please note: The Maven has divested Herself of the hideous NJ accent)

Jim said...

They all sound like mobsters, but I guess it makes for better tv if you can find people who are caricatures. The DC one will be similar, if that ever makes it onscreen.

Hearing those accents, and thinking about how similarly attractive a really heavy New England one sounds, reminded me of a tv show concept that my cousin had, in the wake of the successful "Beverly Hills 90210" . . . Somerville (MA) 02143.


Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Tony Soprano needs to send New Jersy's finest to put out a hit on all those idiots.

Scott Oglesby said...

I find that stereotypes are usually accurate concerning around 1/5 of whatever group is being stereotyped. The problem is that every time I’ve ever went to Atlantic City I’ve run into every single member of that 20%.

Did you check out my FB photos of Italy yet? Your daughter may be in the background somewhere…lol!