Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Battle Of The Bulge Diary

Dear Diary,
I'm getting married this year and I refuse to be fat. Period. No FAT. No WAY.

I got engaged in early December, ate my way through the holidays and then got serious Jan 1, 2010. I began a workout regimen, worked my butt off almost every day, and followed a strict Weight Watchers plan and waited for results.

Nothing happened.

I was disheartened when by mid February, I had only lost 3 pounds because I was working my butt off, but not literally. I saw my doctor around the same time and found that I was loosing something alright. I was loosing my hydration levels and by doing so I was slowing down my metabolism even more. Also, since I quit smoking, she told me that my metabolism may take a year to balance out, since I no longer have the nicotine to speed it up. So basically I was f*cked!

I thought I was going to go buy a pack and light up right then and there. Why not? It may even help me loose, I thought. But a funny thing happened. I didn't. And I didn't give up. I kept on working out and I kept on "tweaking" my diet. And one day last week I jumped on the scale and I had lost 8 pounds.

8 pounds.

It's almost like winning the lottery; almost but not quite. I finally got the motivation I needed and I hope to turn this 8 pounds into 20 more. Today I feel like I can do it. I've never been fat, but I've never been as "squishy" as I felt when I started this. I'm beginning to see a firmer, more solid me, and I like what I see. Will it always be a battle, Diary? Will I have to be my own Patton in my personal Battle of the Bulge? Bring it on. I will fight this thing to the finish.

And here's where it gets tricky. Does it ever finish? Do I ever get to relax and eat bonbons? Do I really want to? If I play my cards right I may be able to find the balance between bonbon days and healthy days. And I can never give up. Because the second I do, I am doomed to "squishy" forever. Solid is where it's at. It's a better me. It's a healthier me and it's a happier me. It's also a bevy of fabulous clothes to wear on the honeymoon and some La Perla, just for fun. Yeah, I know I can, so I forge on, diary.

More later. Thanks for listening.




Furtheron said...

good luck.

I keep thinking I should try a diet but most of my friends tell me I don't need to bother... I think they are just being kind :-)

Heff said...

Don't bust your ass over it, and don't let it bother you. The "start weight" version of the girl in the photo is the most fun IN THE SACK, mark my word !

Anonymous said...

WOW.... you look good right now!!!!

RW said...

I have 23 pounds to go but I think you just took 5 of them off when I said something about your Red Sox just now...

SkylersDad said...

Whatever you do, don't go back to smoking. I buried both of my parents from those damn things.

The Dental Maven said...

Sister, you don't look like you can afford to lose 20 pounds!

Joanie M said...

I'm proud of you for not caving and not gone back to smoking!

I remember my mother telling me that as I got older, it would be more difficult to lose weight. Yeah, yeah, Mom. Whatever. Damn! She was right!

It seems like it's nearly impossible to lose weight without starving oneself. Good luck to you and I'm certain you will be a gorgeous bride, not matter what your weight is.

Scope said...

I seem to have hit a bit of a weight loss plateau. (10 lbs) Maybe I should actually try that "exercise" thing you mentioned.

Joker_SATX said...

This Joker is impressed. I thought you looked HAWT before, can't wait to see the new you!

Keep it going! Don't give up! Kudos to you!

Scott Oglesby said...

I can give you a ton of diet and exercise advice…let me know if you need me….? I was a personal trainer for a very brief time. The single greatest ‘trick’ I found in most people was to eat 6 small, protein intensive meals a day while weight training (light for women).

the walking man said...

Whatever makes Candace feel like Candace should feel about Candace is ok. I doubt this is a sculpture f you thoughStolen from A theater of the absurd blog

Cora said...

Yep. Me too. I can't fit in clothes I was wearing back in September, damn it! GRRRRRR. But I will.

I figured out my problem: when I'm stressed or annoyed I rush for the cookies, candy, ice cream, cake, or all of it at once in one big gooey delicious bowl.

*le sigh*

And what with the custody fight with my ex, the cross-country move, the wedding, and various other things going on, my stress level right now? RED, RED, RED!!!!

"Cold Stone, take me away!"

However, I know if I can't zip up that wedding dress I already bought the day of the wedding and have to waddle down the aisle with it duct taped together over my fat ass, THAT will be bigger stress than any stress I'm going through now, so time to get a grip and banish the sugar.

Game. On.

(btw, my word verification is "calori" - I'm not kidding. How funny is that???? *snicker*)

Fancy Schmancy said...

congrats on quitting smoking! That's wonderful and so very hard. It's next on my list, but you know, baby steps.

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